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#407556 - 05/28/12 08:34 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: REODayton]
Doin' bpose Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 01/27/09
Posts: 3349
Loc: Old Dominion
Thanks for the kind words Due.

Originally Posted By: REODayton

I would trade all that I have (except my Ipod) for a deluxe apartment, in the sky! Actually I am gonna keep my Jefferson's box sets as well. I hate greenery!
Dayton for a second I started to sing the song from the show with Arnold the pig and Zsa Zsa Gabor. And the husband was Ed someone. Greeeeeeeen Acres is the place to be, Haaaaaaaard living is the life for me. Land spreading out so far and wide. Take Manhattan, just give me that Countryside. Neeeeeew York is where I'd rather Stay. IIIIII get alergic smelling hay. I just adore a penthouse view. Darling I love you, but give Park Avenue.


Edited by Doin' bpose (05/28/12 08:35 PM)
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#407591 - 05/29/12 10:22 AM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Doin' bpose]
PA Roadkill Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 11/15/06
Posts: 2179
Loc: The Middle of the Interstate
It was Eva, not Zsa Zsa and the husband was Eddie Albert. Arnold the pig was the best actor on the show.
As an aside, there is an incorporated area in Palm Beach County called Greenacres. Never could find Arnold though, unless he was the Japanese guy that owned the local diner.
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GRI,CRS,CRB,e-Pro

Some days I feel like the bug, other days I feel like the windshield



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#407596 - 05/29/12 02:38 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: PA Roadkill]
VABroker Offline
Veteran Member

Registered: 11/02/10
Posts: 1094
Loc: Virginia
There is a Greenacres in Virginia also. Green Acres is the place to be - Farm living is the life for me - Land stretching out so far and wide - Darling I love you but give me that countryside. New York is where I'd rather stay - I get allergic smelling hay - I just adore a penthouse view - Darling I love you but give me Park Avenue. The chores - The stores - Fresh air - Times Square. You are my wife - Goodby city life - Greenacres we are there.

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#409639 - 07/05/12 03:21 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Doin' bpose]
Doin' bpose Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 01/27/09
Posts: 3349
Loc: Old Dominion
Swerving into science and religion...enjoy....Higgs boson walks into church and the priest says, "Higgs boson is not welcome here." Higgs boson replies, "But without Higgs boson you can't have mass."
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#409740 - 07/07/12 02:53 AM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Doin' bpose]
Doin' bpose Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 01/27/09
Posts: 3349
Loc: Old Dominion
Back to politics. Deep inside the 2012 presidential campaign a kernel of focus was born. Due to the hardships of the past decdae imposed by both unforeseen events and missteps by both political parties, the Amercian voters have grounded themselves around a common theme--self reliance blended with charitable giving. The highest paid pollster (to remain anonymous) coined the sentiment with this well known saying, "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can eat for a lifetime." It appears the people is ready to fish and teach others to fish who have never been taught.

Slow to learn the candidates are trying to adapt this message into recent campaign appearences.

Mitt Romney offered to take a man fishing and said he had some extra room on the top of the station wagon for him.

Barack Obama said that fishing was an excellent pastime that every American should have the right to enjoy. But since the congress would not pass his fishing bill he encouraged those who were impacted by the inability to get fish should go on food stamps.

Ron Paul offered to teach anyone to bait the hook, but said he would sponsor a bill to audit the fish licensing industry, since it was not constitutional.

Donald Trump was reached by phone and said Obama did not fish in high school and his transcripts from Kenya support his birth certificate AND Harvard and that we should all tune into The Apprentice.

Sarah Palin started a bus tour around the country to promote the greatness of Alaskan fishing and other resources that God gave to Alaskan people and shooting stuff and she waved a flag.

Bill Clinton said he had fish and it was great, but he did not swallow or have relations with the fish, depending on what the meaning of 'is' is.

George Bush said fishing is hard work.

Al Gore said fishing causes an imbalance in the ozone layer and we are all going to need to buy carbon credits to offset that problem.

Jon Boehner got teary eyed and told a story about catching a fish with his Pipa.

Nancy Pelosi said you have to eat the fish to know what is in the fish.
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#410085 - 07/13/12 04:39 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Doin' bpose]
ditty Offline
Veteran Member

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 1358
Loc: Winfield, Mo
thats a pretty fishy story...but Im not buying it...
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Let go...or be dragged...Zen

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#410094 - 07/13/12 09:41 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Doin' bpose]
75Corvette Offline
Veteran Member

Registered: 09/16/05
Posts: 1209
Loc: Ohio
Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose

Jon Boehner got teary eyed and told a story about catching a fish with his Pipa.


Boehner went fishing with Pippa Middleton? That lucky $%@(*&^!

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#415220 - 11/02/12 02:31 AM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: 75Corvette]
Doin' bpose Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 01/27/09
Posts: 3349
Loc: Old Dominion
I just read a headline predicting need for extensive recounting after Tuesday and I had a flash thought of an electoral tie vote and a shared presidancy themed around the Odd Couple. I could see Mitt picking up Obama's cigarette butts, shaking his head. Or Michelle painting a redline down the middle of the fridge. Or Mitt and Obama scooting for the big chair behind the desk in the Oval office. Or both of them bumping shoulders as the try and squeeze off Marine One and salute the Service member. Or a tug of war with the silver brief case with all the secret codes.

Obama waiting to get in the bathroom, checking his watch. Or the two of them fighting at the breakfast table over who gets to read the comics first.

Can these two live together?
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#415229 - 11/02/12 01:44 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Doin' bpose]
Kjmendy Offline
Veteran Member

Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 935
Loc: London, Ontario
Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose
Can these two live together?


I love it.

Forget real estate you need to sell that idea to a TV network and go into sitcom development.

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#415230 - 11/02/12 01:51 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Kjmendy]
Doin' bpose Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 01/27/09
Posts: 3349
Loc: Old Dominion
Thanks KJ. We had some more development on this last night. A friend brought up another possibility of a 3 way tie involving Ron Paul as a write in .... We could make it a 3 way tie and include even more jokes. Ron Paul could pull out his pocket constitution and wave it at Mitt and Barack as they fight over the mic @ the State of the Union. Then we'd have to call it Threes Company though. Come and knock on our door, take a step that is new.

Another friend said in a tie that the house picks the POTUS and the Senate picks the Veep, so it would likely be Romney/Biden. I have not made any jokes for that yet, but it is ripe.
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#434472 - 03/22/14 09:07 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Doin' bpose]
Doin' bpose Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 01/27/09
Posts: 3349
Loc: Old Dominion
Obama rated 5th Best U S President

Of the total of 44 US Presidents: Obama rated 5th best president ever!

The details according to White House Publicists:

* Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and 7 others tied for first,

* 15 presidents tied for second,
* 17 other presidents tied for third,
* Jimmy Carter came in 4th, and ....

* Obama came in fifth

I know it will make some blood pressure go up and some blood boil so I have prepared an alternate for your enjoyment and pleasure.

Bush rated 5th Best U S President

Of the total of 44 US Presidents: George W. Bush rated 5th best president ever!

The details according to the former President's Publicists:

* Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and 7 others tied for first,

* 15 presidents tied for second,
* 17 other presidents tied for third,
* Jimmy Carter came in 4th, and ....

* Bush came in fifth!

Reporters caught up with the former president and his wife at a charity event. When asked for comment about his rankning Mr. Bush said, "Hey, fifth is not too bad. At least I beat Dad! heh heh heh. Gotcha Dad" Mrs. Bush kept her demeanor but appeared red faced as she patted him on the leg and said, "There-there George."


Edited by Doin' bpose (03/22/14 09:08 PM)
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#454550 - 09/19/16 08:18 PM Re: Warning! Clean Partisan Political Joke...only for the light hearted [Re: Doin' bpose]
Doin' bpose Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 01/27/09
Posts: 3349
Loc: Old Dominion
Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose
Donald and Hillary were accidentally double booked on the same flight. They were flying to the first debate and sat next to each other to get a break from the debate prep. The Donald chuckled and said, "You know Hillary, I could throw $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy. It would be great." Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy. It takes a village Don". Hearing their exchange, the pilot of the plane said to his co-pilot," I could throw both of them out of the window and make 256 million people happy."!!

Reminder, this is intended to be fun.
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