Stupid MLS comments.

Posted by: Delicious Cake

Stupid MLS comments. - 12/07/07 11:51 PM

Okay, so those of us who do BPOs obviously see a lot more of the MLS than your average agent.

Have you guys noticed some of the ridiculous comments in the MLS?

Practically every other listing says "Quite street"... Hmm, so it is quite a street, or is it QUIET, like there is an absence of noise?

I just ran accross this gem, "TENANT IS LIVING. PLEASE CALL LISTING AGENT"

Well thank god, because if the tenant was dead I highly doubt anyone would be interested in viewing the house.

Anyone have any good ones?
Posted by: OHAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 12:05 AM

How about this in a $1 mil listing - beautiful bridle staircase. Unless the staircase is meant for horses, I'm pretty sure they meant BRIDAL.

I found this one today "two hot wate tans". It took me a minute to figure out she meant 2 hot water tanks.

I think my favorite of all times was one that I saw on a double in a pretty bad area that had been withdrawn. It said "crack heads burned down my listing". \:\)
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 12:08 AM

I always see "rod iron" instead of "wrought iron."
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 02:39 AM

I HATE when people mess up wrought iron.

The first time I saw "Rod Iron" I thought it was something I hadn't heard of and called the agent to see what it was.. how embarassing, they were just a bad speller and I looked like the dummy
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 04:34 AM

My all time favorite was the comment "Perfect for a large mother-in-law" on a listing a few years ago. Either you had to have an obese mother in law or they left out the word "Suite".
Posted by: Gulf Winds

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 08:10 AM

Reading the comments section in our MLS is not only a challenge but a sad indicator of how clueless our peers are!

Here are but a few of my favorites. Yes, idiots have actually (mis)used them in the comments section:

Right/Wrong (as if you need help... ha!)

Perfect/Perfic
Their/There
Entertain/Enertane
Want/Wont
Make/Maek
Pier/Peer
Concrete/Concreet
Attic/Addic
Posted by: Mr. Foreclosure

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 08:41 AM

I think at least half, if not more, of the edits I have done to my postings on this forum have been to correct spelling after I re-read what I just posted. I'm sure I missed many errors also.

At least some of the problems come from poor attempts to abbreviate words (particularly where the comment field has a restricted length).
Posted by: Ben34105

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 08:44 AM

I always like corean counters and purgo floors.
Posted by: ggwwttre

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 10:24 AM

I always like the "hurry, this one will go fast" type of comments... invariably on the 200 day old listings.

We've got another guy that starts all his with "This house will sell"... Maybe he's got a positive mental attitude coach or something.
Posted by: NH-REO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 10:37 AM

MY FAVORITE....I tried to find the listing so I could quote it exactly, but couldn't find it. Anyway, it went something like this....

Enjoy summers on the back deck with friends or if you don't have any friends, just hang out by yourself.
Posted by: Gulf Winds

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 11:10 AM

Here's a funny ad (although not in MLS):

WARNING: It has a word in the ad that may be considered to be offensive to some. Please do not click the link if you may be offened by slang words!

I'm certain that they meant to use the word.. Deck.

http://i19.tinypic.com/6lvtcfd.jpg
Posted by: SLO Broker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 11:41 AM

THat was a BIG time joke ...........

Wait, I think that was my house ........... : )
Posted by: Ben34105

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 12:23 PM

That's what I use my deck for!
Posted by: Mr. Foreclosure

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 01:12 PM

So is Shirley Hunsberger a member of this forum?
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 03:03 PM

Maybe Shirley is too busy being entertained and enjoying the view to post here.
Posted by: TheTexasGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 04:53 PM

Hey I want one of those! ;\)
Posted by: Gulf Winds

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 06:30 PM

 Originally Posted By: Mr. Foreclosure
So is Shirley Hunsberger a member of this forum?


Oh yeah, she's the moderator of the entertainment forum.
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 07:33 PM

The area I relocated to, and where I practice now, is very beautiful and rural. And, to be polite, educationally disadvantaged. Many agents can barely write; some have trouble reading. That was FINE until the area was discovered by the rest of the world. So long as local agents practiced with locals, the lack of education was mutual; now agents who are not particularly literate are having to leave the business.

Anyway first place I worked had the dumbest agents-- it had that rep.; although most of them had been agents for quite some time. Nearly none of them changed to ZipForms-- another story for another time. Anyway, I'd always be asked to spell words by agents and staff. I did NOT understand why none of them picked up the dictionary that was available. That is, until I realized that most couldn't spell enough of the word to be able to find it. I left the place; but I swear, it was so good for laughs, and for stories that start, "You're never going to believe this...", and I miss that a lot.

Thing that kills me is when I send out listings from MLS and the remarks section is many, many times, barely understandable, unless you're really good phonetically. I'm afraid clients think it's my listing and that I'm a complete moron. I try to keep the remarks out if they're really awful.

"Owner is in procis of remodiling" was the latest butchery.
"Seller is a lisensed Realator".
"Rod iron".
"Beautiful partial of land"-- meaning "parcel". Many agents here think that we sell "partials" of land.
"Must see too apreciate."
"Worth every dollor."

Or, this: WILL NOT LAST!!!!!!!PREICED TO SELL!!!!!OWNER ANGSOUS!!!!
This is where the agent never learned punctuation OR spelling, and there are no commas or periods, just big, long texts with no capitalization at the beginning of a "sentence", either. I pointed this out to an agent who was just an awful person, purposely mean to me, and not literate in the bargain, and she said, "I leave spaces!" Then, she and her husband, upset over not understanding that one should capitalize the first letter of the first word of a new sentence, started using all caps... And in between thoughts, they'd put !!!!! It was the only punctuation they understood.

I understand that, after 15 years of being a Realator, and working for "Good morning, Acme Reality" she's getting a job as a cashier after Xmas. Sadly, there are many more just like this woman. Was there a time that there was no test to get your license? Does anyone know?
Posted by: savvycyn

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 07:59 PM

The other day I came across an REO agent that put the lockbox combo in the public comments...I was amazed he was that dumb!!

I meant to write it the address down and tell him but I got so busy I forgot.

Figured he could lose his client that way...
Posted by: NewBreedAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/07 08:08 PM

I just used a comp that is located on a very, very busy 4 lane urban street. The home actually sits on a service road (a small drive that runs parallel to the busy street) that has a 25 foot grass buffer from the busy 4 lane street. No fence, no barriers, jsut grass.

The listing agents comments: "Home on low traffic street".

All in caps, of course.
Posted by: StevenB

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/09/07 07:28 PM

Thing that bugs me: Motivated Seller (who isn't?)

I think the RE license exam should include a spelling test and grammar test. If you dont not pass, then you don;t get your lisence!
Posted by: graysqwrl

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/09/07 08:16 PM

The all caps and excessive !!!!!!! is what burns me
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/09/07 08:37 PM

In our area, most streets are quite, most views are luvly, and most decks ARE huge!!!!!! All of us under-educated rednecks DO love to entertane!!!!And most punctuation is !!!! The mis-spelled words are one thing I can understand (I'm an excellent speller, but a rotten typist). The misuse of punctuation irks me, but what I hate most are the fluffing comments. HUGH living room(I measured 12x14), BEUTIFULL views (of the overgrown bushes bordering the yard), and You wont find another like this at this price (with its 1256 days on market, probably not).
We have one agent who tries her hand at literature in every ad. "Only the finest antique architectural accents" (alliteration), "This happy house just loves to be loved" (personification), and "Truely, the best deal on the market" (fiction combined with poor spelling)... Yeah, I log on to the MLS just for the entertainment value. Maybe I should just go enjoy the deck....
Posted by: FIJIMAN

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/09/07 08:45 PM

But is it 'crown molding' or 'crown moulding'???
Posted by: Analog Man

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/09/07 09:59 PM

My pet peeve isn't regarding remarks, it's regarding photos. Our local MLS does not make it mandatory that the outside photo of the house be uploaded. It frustrates me to no end how many times the main photo will be of a hallway, toilet (not joking), or an empty room. What amazes me even more, these houses sold!!!! Back when I was selling, I would be hard pressed to show a house I didn't have an exterior photo of.

Brad
Posted by: 1thingCoach

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 04:56 AM

Oh yeah Brad...that is a big one here, especially for condos...they will show this tricked out living room or even a collage of pictures of all the rooms to get the consumer to click on their virtual tour! There is even a blogger/broker here who is quite controversial, bashes agents all the time about not using photos to showcase homes in this way(his pet peeve!) He ran for the board recently and he and his partner came in DEAD LAST! I thought at the time that's what you get for bashing your peers publically!
Posted by: Bigtoe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 07:43 AM

"Romanic wound views" This guy was either referring to the show Rome or the romantic views over the sound.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 08:23 AM

I mentioned to a Realtor that the home might be "conveniently" located, not "contently" located as she described it
Posted by: RiverKing

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 08:57 AM

The most amazing thing I have seen in the MLS was in the realtor comments.

Do not show from 3:00-5:00 as minor school age children in the home alone.
Posted by: ggwwttre

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 10:05 AM

And then of course there's the famous no comment at all... usually accompanied by no photo, and leading to no showings (I don't care about the showings, I just need a pic and a few words so I can use it for an active comp since it'll never sell.)
Posted by: OldSouth

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 10:15 AM

We have one agent around here who uses crazy acronyms in his adspeak and his MLS listings. Here's a bit from one of my favorites:
“FP, AEK, 2300SF, FDR, W/W, CAC, FROG”

"FROG" got me so I just had to call him. He was quite amazed that I didn't know that meant "Finished Room Over Garage".

Guess I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 10:43 AM

Here, dinosaur agents continue to not use any photos, and/or remarks. Whyzat you ask? They tell me that they want to physically bring the buyer to the listing and sell them on it.

They feel that too many buyers may dismiss a home because they don't like the color, the rooms look too dark, etc., in the pictures.

What they are living in is the pre-MLS days when buyers came to a brokerage and were shown only that brokerage's listings. That, and most of them are unable to upload photos OR type in descriptions. Many of them still use the MLS book...

In the last three years, most of these dinosaurs have "retired" due to lack of any business.
Posted by: Traveler

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 04:57 PM

The absolute worst are where you're required to make an appointment to see a vacant REO.
Posted by: specialist

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 05:30 PM

Why do the REO royalty in my area use ALL CAPS in their descriptions? The more listings a REO king has the more likely she is to do it. Is this true in your area too? Why use all CAPS?
Posted by: OHAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 05:48 PM

 Originally Posted By: jgizzi
The absolute worst are where you're required to make an appointment to see a vacant REO.


I actually don't mind that since it usually only takes a minute to make the phone call. I know when I'm doing my monthly reports and the client wants to know how many times the house was shown that month, I need that information.
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 06:41 PM

Here's a comment I found today on a listing:

Main floor master w/ jetted tube, dual vanities, doorlest walk-in shower

Now, would jetted tube be something like you'd find at a water park? and the doorlest walk-in shower, not quite sure what that is suppose to be.
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 06:52 PM

I think they mean a doorless walk-in shower.
Posted by: CarolinaSongbird

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 06:54 PM

FROG is common usage around here, but I had to think about some of those! And the first time I encountered "2.2 bathrooms" I scratched my head. No wonder buyers are confused.
Posted by: CarolinaSongbird

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 06:55 PM

Probably means doorless walk-in shower. So you must hope it is big enough to contain the splashes. Sorta like a horse stall with a showerhead.
Posted by: BpoBill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 07:12 PM

 Originally Posted By: CarolinaSongbird
FROG is common usage around here, but I had to think about some of those! And the first time I encountered "2.2 bathrooms" I scratched my head. No wonder buyers are confused.


2.2 means 2 full and two half baths. Who doesnt know that?
Posted by: CarolinaSongbird

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/10/07 07:28 PM

snip <2.2 means 2 full and two half baths. Who doesnt know that?
> end snip

*Agents* know that. *Buyers* don't. Used to be a house with two full baths and one half bath was listed as 2.5. Now with the advent of multiple half baths we have had to come up with new terminology. But no one sent a notice to all the buyers who have not been in the market for 10 years. And they are confused by that term, especially if you then start talking about Jack-and-Jill bathrooms and three-quarters bathrooms. Or the one I saw yesterday in the local paper: "destination bathrooms." (I thought *all* bathrooms were destinations!)

Bottom line: Jargon is handy if you're an insider because it lets you communicate quickly. If you're an outsider though, it may as well be Sanskrit. Smart Realtors realize that and smooth it over so as not to embarass their clients.
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 12:30 AM

I can't believe some agent actually posted when children would be home alone! I think I would print that out, circle that remark and mail it to the homeowner! then they have a good idea whose fault it is when their children get kidnapped or injured (God forbid). That has to be the most irresponsible comment I ever heard of being made publicly. And I thought one agent here posting "back door doesn't lock, go in that way" was bad!
Posted by: Gman

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 02:03 AM

Panoramic view = view of all the neighbors upstairs windows.

Pool = green puddle in back yard with giant gold fish & mosquitoes.

Guest Casita = unpermitted garage conversion with murals of Jimmy Page.

Barn = 8X10 aluminum shed

Too many upgrades to list = 11 ceiling fans

Plumbing upgrades = noboby "went" recently

Upgraded lighting = mercury filled bulbs

Upgraded carpet = there is some
Posted by: Wealth Realty

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 02:21 AM

i have one...

"as featured on flip that house 6 months ago"

lol...made me laugh
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 03:02 AM

It really bothers me when it's a new construction home and the agent puts - "ALL WINDOWS ARE DUAL PANE!!"

Well, duh.. you can't get a house finaled here without them. That is akin to me writing, "House comes with light switches"
Posted by: Gulf Winds

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 10:27 AM

Auburn, I also hate it when people use the word Duel instead of Dual.

Example:
"ALL WINDOWS ARE DUEL PANE!!"
Posted by: ggwwttre

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 11:46 AM

But if it says Duel Pain... maybe they got a sword stuck where it don't belong.
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 11:59 AM

 Originally Posted By: Auburn CA
That is akin to me writing, "House comes with light switches"


This reminds me of the time I was at a realtor event in a model home of a budget builder. We were laughing so hard because a couple of the light switch plates had those thingies on them that say "upgrade." Really plain switch covers too.

Turns out they were extra light switches over and above what would normally come in the house.
Posted by: AllisonRealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 07:15 PM

How about "homely" home. Or, I like the crown molding instead of moulding.
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 07:51 PM

Uh-oh, I always thought it was moulding... what is correct??
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 09:57 PM

For crown moulding, it's moulding. To make a key in wax you'd use a mold. Confusing I know but true nonetheless. Now if I could just preach it to the *!?*** here I'd be in heaven.

Noun 1. moulding - a decorative strip used for ornamentation or finishing
Posted by: Makin' Money

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/07 10:05 PM

How about...

"There are no water problems in the basement because there is no basement!"

Actually, a friend of mine came up with that one and uses it all the time. I told her how dumb and corny it is and she still uses it. In fact, I just saw that her broker is using it now as well.
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/07 01:41 AM

I came across a new one, by one of the geniuses who lists CW REOs (which do not require ANY experience, he's a tool)

"BANK OWNERED PROPERTY"
Posted by: RichardDD

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/07 06:02 AM

How about "a great house that appears larger than it is"

Well in the end, its still a small house!!
Posted by: your_agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/07 02:44 PM

I closed on a house yesterday that was' totally updated and adorable' when in fact it had beat up countertops, old mismatching applicances, hardwood floors refinished but didnt appear that the seller removed furniture from the rooms when the floors were done, the most disguting light fixtures, light switches not installed properly, mismatching wood moldings,very cheap and ugly home depot special carpeting, and the whole interior was faux painted.
Posted by: JoelFenton

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/07 04:58 PM

My favorite one I've encountered: "walls have Wayne's coating"
Posted by: Shamrock

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/07 06:06 PM

This was not in the MLS. It was a sign in a prestigious hotel that was hosting an event for agents.

"WELCOME REALATERS"
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/07 11:25 PM

 Originally Posted By: Shamrock
This was not in the MLS. It was a sign in a prestigious hotel that was hosting an event for agents.

"WELCOME REALATERS"


That's my big pet peeve!




Posted by: Rocky

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/07 12:12 PM

Here's one I just ran across. It proclaims thusly: "New brain documented Roof". Say WHAT? That really had me stumped, till I notice further down, "brain new carpet". OH..... Now I get it..... it's a brand new documented pig latin roof! What will they think of next?
Posted by: Darlene Bitner

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/07 12:23 PM

I'll just bet that assistants key a lot of this stuff in and the agent never even proofs it.
Posted by: Clientless

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/07 10:48 PM


"Beautiful tree studded lot"

"Near major source of transportation"


Ever see the new homes will dirt lawns and new sapling trees? Well you have a beautiful tree studded lot.

The second one the home was located right next to an active railroad track.
Posted by: ...

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/07 11:46 PM

I swear to God, I am not making this one up. A 2.3 Acre Parcel in Peoria Arizona (about 4 miles from the Cardinal's NFL Stadium)

List Price is $1. The Realtor remarks are "REALTOR® Remarks: DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW COMM. OR PRICE ...LET'S TALK. "

The Buyer's Broker Commission is 3% so if any of you have a buyer and want to earn 3 cents give the guy a call MLS # 2890493
Posted by: ColoBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/07 08:27 AM

I like the MLS listings where the current agent uses the MLS picture from the last listing with the last listing agent's for sale sign in the picture. Or the $800,000 listing with no picture and no description. Lazy agents. Get a digital camera. Or a phone camera. Or something.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/07 09:20 AM

I love the ones that state something like, "too many things to list, gourmet kitchen, stone fireplace, sunroom, wonderful view." With one exterior photo.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/07 09:21 AM

Or one indicating that there's a barn...and no photo of it.
Posted by: LeanneC

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/07 09:34 AM

The ones with picture of the FSBO sign still in the front yard.

It's like a the other agent is saying to all the other agents "nanny nanny boo boo I got a fsbo"
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/07 05:42 PM

Best one I ever saw had a picture of the basketball hoop in the driveway as the primary photo. I thought to myself, "if that's the best feature of the house the price is way too high".

Another one featured the owner's love of painting unicorn murals on the walls. The agent remarks actually said "Freshly painted". Unbelievable.

And another classic was a single-photo MLS listing with a picture of the couch in the living room. If the agent was smart she would have said, "equipped with husband sleeping quarters", or "possible in-law setup".
Posted by: ColoBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/07 06:16 PM

The listings that say there is a barn or a great outbuilding with no picture really irritate me because when I do have a buyer for these type of properties guess what they want to see. The barn!! For some buyers the barn or other building is of more interest then the house. I do like the husband sleeping quarters idea. I might use that sometime. If there isn't enough rooms or features to take up the pic space on the MLS just take a picture of the couch and say husband sleeping quarters. Maybe that would get the listing remembered.
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/07 05:19 PM

"Wayne's Coating," "Brain New..." ??? I think any agent would practice basic due diligence and at least read their own listings to ensure accuracy (and lack of stupidity) before the public sees them. Better yet, print 'em out and have another person read them, that way if you can't spell or don't realize how retarded something sounds, maybe the other person will catch it and it can be corrected. And if their assistants can't spell better than that, hire a different assistant!
Posted by: Seymour

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/07 08:17 PM

Two bedroom home on over a half acer with beutifull builtin pool.Professionaly landscaped park like setting.Remoldeled and updated plumbing and electricel.Handycap accesabile.

The agent told the owners he mispells on purpose, to catch peoples eye.
Posted by: Seymour

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/07 08:25 PM

Forgot to mention- Agent had the listing since September and never bothered to change it.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/07 09:09 PM

I just came across this one. I hate to say it is not a lack of proofreading skills that bring us these gems, it is REAL LIVE STUPIDITY.

"Comments:seller pd. 3ooo buyers clsg cost in lure of home repairs."
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/07 01:00 PM

Fresh off my MLS today:

"Beautiful custon-built home with construction and decorting upgrades. Granite countertops in Kitchen and bathrooms. Ceiling fans. decorator touchesthroughout. gas-fired fireplace. Muat see to believe this beautiful home. Redwood exterior. Huge covered patio with ceiling fan."

Btw? No pictures. Never any pictures from this agent.
Posted by: New Jersey Realtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/18/07 02:48 AM

Here's a new one.

The address of the property was "327 Bringyourbuyershere!" ......

You just can't make this stuff up.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/18/07 04:14 AM

Someday I'm going to list a fixer built in the 80's and I'm going to write in my mls remarks:
"STOP! Hammer time! "






Posted by: StevenB

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/18/07 08:03 AM

 Originally Posted By: Artiste
Someday I'm going to list a fixer built in the 80's and I'm going to write in my mls remarks:
"STOP! Hammer time! "

That's a good one!






Posted by: eldoradosrealestate.com

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/19/07 12:05 PM

I love this topic. The problem is I could spend weeks on here.
Here's one from today.
"Complete remodel just about complete"
Posted by: FIJIMAN

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/19/07 12:48 PM

I love: Honey, stop the car!

Usually I see this comment on dumps.

Also, I run into this one a lot: MLS updated daily, no need to call on availability.

Then in the private notes it talks about a lock box or sign or some other info from 4 months ago.
Posted by: Rocky

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/19/07 09:14 PM

Here's a perennial from my area.... "Just listed". Usually on the 180 DOMs .....
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/21/07 12:03 AM

Wait for it, wait for it...

"New home, newly updated."

Yes, it was new construction and yes, I would hope that it was updated. Nothing worse than buying 2007 construction with that mid-century look (and I do not mean retro) to it. I understand that avocado and that sick yellow are making a big come-back in appliances. Not!
Posted by: your_agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/21/07 10:20 AM

I was looking for listings to send to a buyer earlier today and one said 'hurry, won't last' and has been on the market for about 8.5 months.
Posted by: A1fla

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/21/07 10:34 AM

Priced below appraisal!
..... come on that doesn't mean squat anymore
Posted by: A1fla

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/21/07 10:37 AM

How about this one, I see it often.


OWNER SAYS SELL!

No, really, he wants you to sell the house? thats strange
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/21/07 11:51 AM

I was looking at a sold comp yesterday that said "updated and cared for condo." Looking at the pictures, every room had wallpaper that looked like it was from the late 70s / early 80s. With fixtures etc. from that era. Kitchen countertops were that faux wood looking laminate from back then. Popcorn ceilings very visible in the photos.

The last time it was "updated" was probably 1981. But wait, that was the year it was built.

It sold quickly anyway. It was affordable and in a desirable area.
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/23/07 03:05 PM

Here's one I found today:

"Please Summit all offers with a signed Short Sale Disclosure"
Posted by: NewBreedAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/24/07 02:55 AM

How about this gem that I found as a photo caption:

"beautiful wood staircase going upstairs"

I guess it isn't as "beautiful" on the way down!?!
Posted by: whatagirl

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/24/07 02:41 PM

good grief, one more GOURMET KITCHEN, and will b.....ffff
Posted by: TheTexasGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/26/07 11:13 AM

Ok heres my contribution.... I just ran across this one.

"Call and go show......do not step on the dog! "

Poor dog. If you have to put that in the comments! lol
Posted by: GoldenGirl

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/26/07 03:36 PM

Speaking of unruly pets.."Watch for crafty cat..likes to lay on top stair and trip people going down"
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/27/07 05:10 AM

I remember one a few years ago -
"Don't pet the dog or it will slobber on your shoes".
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/27/08 09:50 PM

Since we have competing MLS threads, had to flip a coin to decide where to post, this thread seemed the most logical.

"PUBLIC REMARKS
2BD 1 BTH HOME IN YOUR OWN WORLD MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT. SPRINGS AND PONDS HELP DRAW THE DREAM. BUILDING SITE BY THELAKE IS RUMMORD TO HAVE BEEN PERKED FOR 4 BD HOME. PARCLE CANNOT BE DIVIDED AS PER COUNTY"

You cannot make this stuff up, really you can't. This is from one of our local REO "queens".
Posted by: Illinois Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/28/08 12:23 PM

How about the most annoying..

Here's a good example...this is from a Chicago area agent...
HOLY KAFLOOGLE YABBA DABBA DOO! NICELY PROPORTIONED HAGLTO HOME WITH NIFTY ROOM SIZES! APPLIANCES??? YOU BETCHA! MOTIIVATED??? YUP! YUP! ALSO A SOOPER DOOPER AHS WARRANTY FOR BUYER PEACE OF MINDOLA! YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY! HAD ALREADY SOLD, BUT BUYERS FAWW DOWN & GO BOOOM! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE U-T-FULL HOME!! AND THERE ARE OAK HARDWOOD FLOORS UNDER THE LAMINATE IN ALL ROOMS EXCEPT THE KITCHEN! YEAH BABY!! EZ AS CREAM PIE, GORGEOUSE CLEASE LINED AND STAINLESS APPLIANCES
Posted by: LeanneC

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/28/08 12:25 PM

That's just annoying to read.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/28/08 12:29 PM

Sounds like their doctor gives out pharmaceutical samples a bit too freely...
Posted by: AliceInReoLand

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/28/08 12:38 PM

Ritalin anyone?
Posted by: Illinois Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/28/08 12:44 PM

So you know him too?
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/28/08 11:38 PM

"Pristine retro shiek, 1980 home on wooded golf course lot."

I don't even get to make a joke about an Arab leader because he couldn't even spell "sheik" correctly.
Posted by: TriangleNCBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 10:26 AM

"SELLER IS UNABLE TO KEEP HOUSE NEAT."

At least they are honest...
Posted by: Char K

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 10:31 AM

I'm thinking he/she meant chic Like French for sharp fashionable or nouveau only because of the retro \:\)
Posted by: UpNorthGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 12:26 PM

1980 is now retro chic??
Posted by: trush

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 12:43 PM

Our MLS' recent member survey asked us if we thought spell check would be a good addition to the system...I said no, of course, because I would not mind if every agent without the sense that God gave a commode handle hung him/herself if we gave them enough rope and a keyboard.
And then how would we all get our jollies without inane remarks to crack on?!
My favorite from about 3 years ago here: "romanic wound views." (meant "lovely sound views").
Priceless!
Posted by: DAinPGH

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 01:19 PM

What exactly constitues a "gourmet kitchen?"

I see this all the time
Posted by: maggie@rochester

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 01:57 PM

I viewed a home because the MLS remarks said to come and enjoy everything this ranch had to offer including a finished personal spa in the basement. When I arrived the ranch was a double-wide ,with an unfinished basement. The basement had an old tub that was rusty and GROSS and it wasn't even plumbed in. The tub was just dumped there.It also had this barber chair in the basement on green 1980's indoor/outdoor carpet. The chair had springs and stuffing popping out of it. It was infront of a mirror with a little counter with ancient old man shaving products. It was scary and nasty. And I would have been furious except for it was so rediculous that an agent called it a spa , it was funny. I laughed so hard I cried! I told everone I knew about it, some agents even went over to take a look. Talk about puffing!

(There were no pics in the MLS for it yet, I think it had just been listed)
Posted by: UpNorthGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 02:00 PM

Where I live people put gourmet kitchen if it has stainless steel appliances and maybe a island..To me that is not a gourmet kitchen,they use that word a lot on my mls
Posted by: discndeb

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 04:31 PM

We had one last year. The listing agent wrote, "Do you have a bulldozer? You'll need it for this one."

My pet peeve is when the listing agent never gets around to getting a picture in the MLS.
Posted by: UpNorthGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 04:34 PM

Where I live you have to have at least one of the home on the MLS or you get fined 50.00 a day until you put a pic on!
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 04:49 PM

 Originally Posted By: Char K
I'm thinking he/she meant chic Like French for sharp fashionable or nouveau only because of the retro \:\)


I know. I got it. My comment was taking it a bit farther.
Posted by: discndeb

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/08 05:00 PM

We don't have a pic rule in our MLS. Some of the counties have their own...requiring a photo in so many days. But our county doesn't have any rules. As a matter of fact, because this came up in the forum, I called my local board office, and this will be one of our topics of discussion at the next meeting. In defense of some of the photo delinquent agents in our area, they aren't from the technology age ( or anyway close to it ) so it's been a tough road for a couple of them. Up until just a few months ago, one agent was still taking film pics and having our board assistant scan them into her lisings. But in a lot of cases, it's just pure, plain and simple laziness.
Posted by: REO_Wannabe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/08 12:41 AM

One sees so much just plain illiterate stuff that I hardly notice it anymore, but I do like the more mysterious comments, like this one I saw today:

"Two story short sale home with auspicious backyard"

Even better, this property features "Special flooring underneath the well kept carpet."

Once we've figured out what an "auspicious backyard" is, we can try and guess what's so special about the hidden floors.
Posted by: Strega

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/08 04:07 AM

I still think "In-law in attack" (attic) beats most spelling errors.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/08 04:46 AM

Strega - I grew up in Danvers. There are some scary attics on the North Shore (and from what I read online, a lot more in-law attacks too).
One of my all time favorites was "plenty of room for a large mother-in-law". I think they forgot to add the word suite.
Posted by: Margaritaville

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/08 04:20 PM

"auspicious backyard" - That's funny. Some people should just never be allowed near a thesaurus, they could hurt themselves.
Posted by: bpoaddict

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/08 08:25 PM

how about this one..I think this agent was trying to say agent is the owner .. or owner is the agent.. ended up saying in MLS.. "SELLER IS THE OWNER"..
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/08 11:28 AM

A couple I've seen in the past week:

Among other features, a house that boasted a "wet bra"

OK, this one I typed then deleted, typed then deleted. I'm too embarrased. Let's just say the dyslexic agent had a type-o on "occupied."

It's always interesting!
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/08 11:56 AM

OK, one more post on this topic today. These are all from ONE agent that I particularly "love to hate" because her listings are SO bad:

"RECENTLY REMODELED PREGO FLOORING, CERAMIC TILE, LANOLIN..."

Prego? Lanolin? I've known women that used lanolin after they were prego but can't figure out what that has to do with this house. I can only assume she meant Pergo and linoleum. Brain trust.

"BUILT IN CHESTER DRAWERS"

Who *is* Chester and what did he do with his drawers?

"This is quite an amazing house the feeling of pure peace. The owner has decided to maintain the emmacculateness of her home. All bedrooms and gameroom are up. Both formals this was the award winning model plan for the builder."

Hey, props to her, she took her caps lock key off for this one. But "emmacculateness?" WTH?

"LARGE CORNER LOT SPACIOUS 4BR FORMAL DINING,LIVING,KITCHEN AND CEILING FANS WON'T LAST LONG GREAT LOCATION TO RAISE YOUR FAMILY. HOUSE ALSO HAS A WHEEL CHAIR."

Hey now! I'll pay top dollar for a house where the ceiling fans won't last long. Now about that wheel chair, is it just "in" the house or is it "for" the house? I hope it's a widebody wheel chair. Brings a whole new meaning to "mobile home."

And don't get me started on the "raise your family" comment. In my opinion all statements to that effect are fair housing violations. Like "big back yard for the kids to play." So if I don't have kids I don't need or want a big back yard? If I'm not going to raise a family is her listing not the house for me? AGENTS!!! You've had the training, you know better.
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/08 04:17 PM

WE have, clearly she hasn't. I'd laugh but that would be mean. Okay, it wouldn't be mean, it would be cruel. If I were to bet, I'd bet she's got no clients, but that would mean she had no seller's. Clearly she's got sellers. If the listings expire and you want them, the surest way to get them is to send a letter along with the MLS listing. Let the seller's know exactly why their house didn't sell. Couldn't hurt.
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/08 04:38 PM

"BANL OWNED"!
Posted by: trush

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/08 01:10 PM

 Originally Posted By: UpNorthGal
Where I live people put gourmet kitchen if it has stainless steel appliances and maybe a island..To me that is not a gourmet kitchen,they use that word a lot on my mls


Ditto. Happens here all the time, too. Stainless steel appliances and granite countertops means "complete remodel" even in a tear-down!
Posted by: lilbee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/08 10:46 PM

Come see this Beautiful Renovation in the heart of a REVITALIZATION movement! This open floor plan boast off all new stainless steel appliances, wall to wall carpet, tile floors, 4 bedrooms,and 1 1/2 baths. Full Finished Basement! This GEM is still under contruction but should be finished by the end of the month! Hurry and sell before I do!


What exactly does "boast off" mean?

Construction will be finished by the end of WHICH month?
Property has been on the market for 243 days. So, exactly how many "months" have come and gone? Also, I wouldn't worry about the listing agent selling it before any co-op agent. HaHaHa!
Posted by: lilbee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/08 10:52 PM

NEW PRICE!Renovated townhome .New carpet.Oak cabinets in kitchen w/ breakfast bar.Door to deck. Separate dining room.Upstairs 3 bedrooms and beautiful tiled bath.Lower level carpeted for a beautiful family room plus 1.2 bath. W&D included.Ceiling fans.Awnings in front and back.Stone trim around ft door.Gas heat and Central Air.This is ready for!Warranty Near St. Agnes,695, UMBC and Downtown

"Door to deck." HUH? As opposed to a window to deck?

"This is ready for!" HUH?

"Warranty Near St. Agnes, 695, UMBC and Dowtown." Thanks for clearing that up. I'll be able to find that warranty when I need it now.

Posted by: lilbee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/08 11:00 PM

Hurry! Don't let this one slip by!!!

Property has been on the market for 360 days.
Posted by: lilbee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/08 11:08 PM

Great Price! Seller ready to move.

That's good to know. I wouldn't want to be the one to sell this home and have the seller stay because they're NOT ready to move.
Posted by: lilbee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/08 11:12 PM

Sold STRICKLY AS IS

HaHaHa!
Posted by: COBPOGAL

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/08 01:01 AM

My favorite was in comments, "three tiered dick" - (should have BEEN DECK) that was funny and it also showed up this way in a local newspaper ad...

Sorry if this offended anyone... but true!
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/08 09:46 AM

That's my favorite one, too
Posted by: trush

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/08 11:21 AM

YEAHHHH! ENTERTAIN ME!
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/08 11:47 AM

Ok this one's a winner. Maybe you should send to Leno.
Posted by: iTSSold

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/08 12:19 PM

A REAL MONEY-MAKER. RENTAL UNITS OFFSET
MORTGAGE, SELLER CONCUSSION OKAY. MAKE ALL OFFERS.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/08 02:24 PM

So the seller is delirious from his concussion, and almost any offer will be accepted. Take advantage of him before he regains his senses.
Posted by: UpNorthGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/08 05:01 PM

 Originally Posted By: Artiste
That's my favorite one, too


WOW bet she felt stupid..LOL
Posted by: Rlst8 BrokeR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/08 11:15 AM

Isn't spellcheck free? LOL
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/08 03:35 PM

Spellcheck wouldn't have caught that particular gaff. Although it might have wanted to capitalize it.
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/08 02:42 PM

Country living at it's best - you get the warm fuzzies the moment you walk in the front door.

Anyone know the replacement value of a warm fuzzy? How will these fuzzies impact the homeowner's insurance?
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/08 02:46 PM

By "warm fuzzies" they might just mean those fuzzy caterpillars.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/08 02:49 PM

I read about a "bak owned" home that's perfect for "investoors" on the mls the other day and one where the agent wrote in the marketing remarks that the seller lost his job and "his loss is your gain!" If my Realtor did that to me, I'd be so mad.
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/08 08:29 PM

I hate when people write "Bank Ownered"

I used to think it was a typo, but I've seen it too often lately for that to be the case.
Posted by: TriangleNCBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/31/08 11:43 AM

I have been seeing a bunch of funnies this morning for some reason.

"Cross the railroad tracts." Gee, does Norfolk Southern own a subdivision nearby?
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/31/08 11:56 AM

Here is a real life instance of people just not getting it...

Yesterday in a store a very well dressed, refined woman nearby was looking at a purse, and she said, "This is so heavy that if I put all my stuff in it, I would need a pack whore to carry it."

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she completely ennunciated that particular word...
Posted by: ditty

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/31/08 12:15 PM

I dont know... maybe that is what she had in mind!!!
Posted by: Brandon48202

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/31/08 12:51 PM

One time I meant to write "open floor plan" and accidently put in "porn floor plan". Luckily I caught my error before faxing the listing to my AM.
Posted by: northtxbroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/31/08 01:37 PM

now THAT would have been funny!! Especially if the AM didn't catch it.

One thing my associate and I are starting to do is to put the same little garden gnome in each of the exterior pictures we do for our REO listings. We'll hide him in a bush or somewhere and we're seeing how long it takes for the asset managers to notice it. It's a little bit like "Where's waldo?"....yes, we do get bored sometimes.....
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/17/08 01:27 PM

Perhaps someone can translate:

*House is very spacious. it could by used as a duplex. Ideal dor a gin family.*

Indeed. This is a 1500 sf house. Not sure if the city would agree about the duplex thing.

But I am very concerned about this *gin family*.
Posted by: RecoveringREAgnt

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/17/08 01:52 PM

Agents in my area keep saying "kind of duplex", because there are many car garage conversions where they can be used as rentals.
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/17/08 02:11 PM

 Originally Posted By: GoldenGirl
Speaking of unruly pets.."Watch for crafty cat..likes to lay on top stair and trip people going down"


I couldn't stop laughing at this one!!! LMAO!!
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/17/08 02:18 PM

There seems to be an affliction amongst some residential homes where a spacious house becomes a specious house. A home warranty is always recommended in these situations.
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/17/08 02:20 PM

"~~ 4.5 % CO-OP ~~ THANK YOU FOR SHOWING PLEASE USE GLVAR CONTRACT. BE CAREFUL SMALL PUPPY WILL LICK YOU TO DEATH. PLEASE CALL 5 MINUTES A HEAD IF NO ANSWER PLEASE SHOW...."

I thought this one was funny! It was in the MLS under the agent remarks. I should be really careful so the small puppy doesn't lick me to death! I don't want to die!
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/17/08 02:26 PM

I must have the craziest agents in my area. Here's one I found that sold a few months ago...

"4% COMMISSION! Everybody wins! Call ahead, if no answer, please show. Lazy kitty can transfer with the house, don't worry about letting her out. Thank you for showing!"

What's up with the lazy kitty? They are giving her away with the home? Poor thing.
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/17/08 02:29 PM

OK, here's one that I couldn't resist. My mind was in the gutter when I was reading this...

"EXISTING BUYER MAY NOT BE ABLE TO PERFORM.WAITING FOR EXTENSION"

Poor guy. \:\(
Posted by: LaceyF

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/19/08 01:15 AM

I saw one today that made me sad someone can be so dumb...

"beautiful Slip-Level home"

Capitalized too! Wow! How do these people get RE licenses?
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/19/08 11:33 AM

 Originally Posted By: LaceyF
I saw one today that made me sad someone can be so dumb...

"beautiful Slip-Level home"

Capitalized too! Wow! How do these people get RE licenses?


Only because it's multiple choice. Perhaps it's time to add an essay exam.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/19/08 11:42 AM

*quoting another thread*
I think I'll go as swell, if we're talking about San Diego that's close enough.
*end quote*

An essay exam, really? Don't get all upset - I'm just poking a little fun...

Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/19/08 10:58 PM

Heres one: "updated machcanicials"
Posted by: KeepItReal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/20/08 12:13 PM

This thread is a great source of giggles... I had to share this comment I ran across this morning.

Here is a great house to be created and in a very nice location around the Butts. A great view of the Butts from the front and back yard.

'Buttes' is what they were going for. Made me spew my coffee... hehe
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/20/08 01:10 PM

 Originally Posted By: tbtrackstar
*quoting another thread*
I think I'll go as swell, if we're talking about San Diego that's close enough.
*end quote*

An essay exam, really? Don't get all upset - I'm just poking a little fun...



Wow you sure have a lot of free time.


How about: *HOA includes tennis & sprots court*.

Anyone know how to play sprots? Is it good cardio?
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/20/08 04:18 PM

 Originally Posted By: KeepItReal
This thread is a great source of giggles... I had to share this comment I ran across this morning.

Here is a great house to be created and in a very nice location around the Butts. A great view of the Butts from the front and back yard.

'Buttes' is what they were going for. Made me spew my coffee... hehe


lol, I had a listing assigned to me on "Butt House" Drive. I emailed my AM and let him know it was supposed to be "Butte". He was dissapointed, he said the whole office had been laughing about it all day.
Posted by: Arizona REO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/21/08 09:22 AM

Cheeating on the test lol
Posted by: BPOs4u

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/21/08 05:12 PM

New vinel, vynil, viynl, vinil, ah nevermind.........
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/21/08 05:14 PM

Shucks...and all this time I thought it was linoleum.;-)
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/21/08 09:05 PM

 Originally Posted By: neudot
Shucks...and all this time I thought it was linoleum.;-)


I thought Lynn O'Lium was the girl who invented it.
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/21/08 09:31 PM

I love directions that say "first driveway passed sale barn" or "just passed wal-mart."
I just read one that mentioned "centeral heat," "first road passed county line," and "second kitchen in finnish basement."
Is a "Finnish" basement anything like Dutch doors or an English garden???
I guess I shouldn't complain: I am an excellent speller, but a terrible typist. People who read my comments probably think I am really a dumb-butt. Or is it dumb-butte?
Posted by: KLM

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/26/08 12:15 AM

Okay so it's now nearly midnight and I'm researching comps. When I spotted this silly little agent's creative entry it brought a moment of levity to the situation. So I'm wise, I'm posting this then going to bed! "Lsz" means lot size and if its not available we just leave it blank but the correct entry would look like, "Lsz: 79 x 130." Her entry, " Lsz: huge" So there you have it, editorial comment on MLS. And Zephyr; passed LOL uh huh. Here's one-- an agent was trying to say she didn't want bits and pieces of an offer but rather wanted it in its entirety. She said, "no peace mail either!" I'm thinking perhaps piecemeal, but I could be wrong.
Posted by: REO Agent NJ

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/28/08 06:38 AM


"Investor special, buy at an investors price needs some TLC but in good shape. New Kitchen, Brand new gas heater with all new heater ducks. new windows. all brick exterior..."

WTF are heater ducks? ;-)
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/28/08 12:16 PM

Heater ducks: the animals that sit on your feet to keep you warm when the furnace malfunctions
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/28/08 05:17 PM

Heater ducks? Is that the same critter from which we get Duck Tape???
Posted by: AliceInReoLand

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/28/08 09:25 PM

Found this little gem today:
"remove shows when showing"
Posted by: AliceInReoLand

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/28/08 09:30 PM

And another: Three teared deck.
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/29/08 12:26 AM

 Originally Posted By: MadHatter
And another: Three teared deck.


I think that means it killed three people in prison, right?
Posted by: CarolinaSongbird

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/29/08 05:00 PM

Snip: *House is very spacious. it could by used as a duplex. Ideal dor a gin family.* Unsnip

Sounds like a Fair Housing violation. What if a Scotch family wanted to move in? Or Vodka?
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/15/08 01:49 AM

I think 2 of these houses committed murder..





Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/15/08 12:46 PM

The third one? It's resting on death row!!! Too funny!
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/15/08 01:31 PM

^ those are great - thanks for sharing.

I wish I had a nickel for every "pride of ownership" phrase that I read each day...
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/15/08 07:43 PM

pride of ownership isn't too bad, but I do not understand "waiting for your appeal"..

Then again, the agent who always writes that has a pimps & hos style prom looking photo as her agent pic in the MLS
Posted by: KeepItReal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/16/08 01:17 PM

I ran across this gem today...

With a little elbow grease, a mob, and a broom you can pick up a fantastic buy in a nice area. wink

And on another listing, someone uploaded wedding reception pics instead of the home's interior. Ugly bridesmaid's dresses too. lol
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/16/08 05:58 PM

A friend of mine (now deceased) used to put:
BUY ME. I'M COOL in the owner information field.
Most everyone would put WITHHELD,
Like it's a secret, one click on the tax link brings up the owner's name
Posted by: MontyC21

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/17/08 08:56 PM

I just came across this while completing a BPO:
"goog bathdrooms , god conditions"
so perhaps it was divine intervention that the home sold?
Maybe they buried the St. Joseph to get those "god conditions"

I love this job!!
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/22/08 07:15 PM

I just came across this one while doing a M2M order:

"63 Box (ML 286776) has had a fire and is offered with this property for $1 additional. Get it while it's hot."
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/22/08 10:45 PM

I understand the "get it while it's hot" but what is a 63 Box??? Me stupid, so it might make sense.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/22/08 11:07 PM

I think it's the address...
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/22/08 11:46 PM

Does that mean you have to purchase the address separate from the property??? I know it's a real dumb question but now I'm curious. *twirling hair* clown
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 12:30 AM

I'm going to refrain from blonde jokes here. It's the address of the adjacent property that can be purchased with the subject property at hand...

Are you asking for real? Or are you pulling my leg?
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 01:07 AM

I was going to saying *twirling blond hair* but thought better of it.

We don't do that here so how could I possible know? If you buy the address next door, you're buying the property (be it vacant land or with an outhouse on it). I've never heard the term.

I'm still not really getting it. If it's an address why would a box burning make any difference? Wouldn't the address still exist? Here, you can have numbers change and you can have street names change but you can't buy that directly as part of a real estate transaction.

Let me see if I can give you an example of something that is totally local. In Contra Costa County, a duet is what is known elsewhere as an in-law unit (in my market we can't say that anymore - its a guest cottage or some other descriptor). Or in New York that same unit would be called a Mother & Daughter. I know about New York only because I have New Yorker friends, not because I'm in RE.

Whatever the Box was, not likely I'll see that again. Thank you for the explanation.
Posted by: CaliforniaSunset

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 02:01 AM

Not sure you anyone has mentioned this gem:

"Blink and its gone"

6 months later the house is still for sale. LOL.

I must have blinked 10,000 times or more. It would not go away, LOL
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 08:47 AM

Okay, CanDo, this is all just speculative, but I think one owner likely owned "63 Box Ave" and "65 Box Ave" let's say. The agent was just letting them know that if they wanted to buy the adjoining property, it would be sold to them for $1 because it had a burned out house on it and was owned by the same seller. Note the MLS Number provided. No one is buying an address, or a box, for that matter. he..he..that's funny, though. Hope that clears it up.
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 09:01 AM

Thank you, sincerely. That's what I was not getting. I really must seem dumb but I just could not figure it out. Now I get it! For a buck, who cares what was there? Sounds like a bargain to me (this is what really confused me, clearly vacant land has a value!!!). It was a cute pun, not a stupid MLS comment (in your context).

I'm so sorry that I seemed soooo dumb. I really have some intelligence but then, late at night, my brain goes into a very special place and I can't fight my way out of a paper bag. I call the late night special place BPO H*ll! I was certainly there last night.

We never close at the Dew Drop Inn!
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 09:12 AM

You're usually pretty sharp, and it isn't really all obvious on it's face...There is a little-known circle of Hell that we BPOers inhabit late at night, so I totally get it! wink
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 09:32 AM

trackstar wins the prize for accurate explanation!

CanDo, it's actually a pretty bad deal. The burnt out shell of a house is still standing and accumulating violations from the city by the day. The cost of demolition would be around 8k. That land is worth about a hundred bucks vacant. So, your $1 purchase would quickly set you back over 8k once all the remediation was handled.
Posted by: rrsolutions

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 03:41 PM

"This property is very interesting, but on HOLT for now, maybe later you can see me" What does that mean? I wish english was required.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/08 05:35 PM

Recently appearing in SOCAL MLS,

"Sellers are in Foreclosure and Need Really Fast sale. Please show to qualified buyers only, as sellers will need to rent back for about three to four months after close of escrow".

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmm...glad I don't have qualified buyers who would like to be landlords under stress.
Posted by: ggwwttre

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/26/08 11:09 AM

"This 2 unit duplex is perfect..."

Yep, if it's got 2 units it's a perfect duplex. I NEVER show my buyers 3 unit duplexes, much less 1 unit ones.

Realtard.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/27/08 06:29 PM

Here's another I just read.

"Owner has two cats and a small dog named Joey who will not bite, but is very friendly. Keep all the doors shut while showing, you don't want to have to chase after a dog or try and find a cat."

Let's see.....my job description states show not chase....LOL...
Posted by: REO_Wannabe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/27/08 08:20 PM

My recent fave: "specious master bedroom"

(I guess maybe there's really no closet...)
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/27/08 09:42 PM

Just saw one today that read, "chihuahua will be taken off pren=mises if appointment is made. If dog is in the bathroom, do not show bathroom or let it out. Dog will pee if you try to pet it."
I guess that's why they keep it in the bathroom?
Seriously, these remarks show up on the MLS? What are they thinking???
Posted by: UpNorthGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/27/08 10:49 PM

^^^OMG...I saw one over the weekend that said "very nice small dog,however will pee when scared or excited please approach door with caution, and if dog is near door,treat it like your own"

wtf..I probably wouldn't just be telling people your dog pees all the time..
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/28/08 12:53 PM

Saw this one today when pulling comps for a new REO --

"Seller will provide the buyer with a Christmas tree every year for the next ten years"

This was on a townhouse in a condo development. Wonder how they'll write that one up on the sales contract?

Posted by: AliceInReoLand

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/28/08 12:58 PM

I love the ones that say "Don't let the dog out".
Ummmmmm....hopefully you have the dog put up somewhere, they generally don't like perfect strangers hanging around their house.
Posted by: TriangleNCBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/28/08 11:53 PM

Originally Posted By: UpNorthGal
^^^OMG...I saw one over the weekend that said "very nice small dog,however will pee when scared or excited please approach door with caution, and if dog is near door,treat it like your own"

wtf..I probably wouldn't just be telling people your dog pees all the time..


Is the next line "Seller will give a $5000 carpet allowance?"
Posted by: SoFlo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/08 05:58 PM

SHORT SALE IN DESIRABLE AREA, GATED COMMUNITY, CERAMIC TILE, SCREEN PORK AND STORAGE

hmmmmm, whoever typed this must have been hungry
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/08 08:46 PM

Memphis or St. Louis style?
Posted by: SoFlo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/08 09:34 PM

Most likely Carribean style, this is South Florida.
Posted by: TriangleNCBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/30/08 08:52 AM

Does "SCREEN PORK" mean that someone did a background investigation to screen out the undesirable pigs before we barbecued them?
Posted by: SoFlo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/30/08 08:59 AM

Yes, in fact. I noticed you are part of the Homes for Hams network. Maybe you can recommend some Pork Professionals...?
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/30/08 06:34 PM

Okay, stop it guys.. you're making me want to go get some Vande Rose St Louis Style ribs at the butcher shop!
Posted by: 1thingCoach

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/30/08 07:06 PM

This one cracked me up..."Shot Sale" So...once we go into foreclosure because you can't accomplish this with our lender, I guess they will all do a round together!
Posted by: BrevardFLRealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/31/08 05:36 AM

The exact MLS listing comments

"This property has every you need in the home,coming see, bring your dificult buyer to see with your own eye"



No I did not forget to add nor was anything else deleted. This was the EXACT way it appears in our MLS. This person just cracks me up.
Posted by: alice

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/31/08 09:09 AM

This is so common, that we all just overlook it but, "hot water heater" has always bugged me. It's a cold water heater, or water heater. We don't heat hot water. We heat cold water or just water.
Posted by: BayAreaAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/31/08 11:02 AM


i saw this on the public remark. good one..

==

"Cable & 5 cat ready"

==
wow, 5 cats included smile

haaa

it should be cat5 (internet cable ready)
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/31/08 12:17 PM

"Ceiling and the roof fast remodeled".
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/31/08 12:25 PM

"Great buy- offered as is- Structure, roof, back patio, look very nice Inside need paiont, carpet and TLC"
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/31/08 06:10 PM

It's not just realtors..

Forwarded today from my sister from a help-wanted solicitation:
"Ability to stand for long periods of time using hands and fingers."
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/07/08 12:41 PM

I love this thread, the thread that never ends.

Saw this one a few minutes ago: "Specious 1800 Sq ft home"

Specious -
adjective 1. apparently good or right though lacking real merit; superficially pleasing or plausible: specious arguments.
2. pleasing to the eye but deceptive.
3. Obsolete. pleasing to the eye; fair.

So if I read this one right, they have a deceptive 1800 sf home that lacks real merit
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/14/08 09:10 AM

Quote:
OWNER IS LOOKING FOR OFFERS CLOSE TO THE ASKING PRICE


Really? Ya think?
Posted by: KLM

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/14/08 09:34 AM

That's a good one, big duh huh Ryan. I saw this one over the weekend; "Agent will show all offers to client." I thought that's a good thing because it's the law!
Posted by: NorCalREOGirl

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/14/08 10:44 AM

Saw one a long time ago...

"This house has been beat with the ugly stick."
Posted by: REODayton

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/14/08 11:00 AM

Originally Posted By: Pa Broker
Saw this one today when pulling comps for a new REO --

"Seller will provide the buyer with a Christmas tree every year for the next ten years"

This was on a townhouse in a condo development. Wonder how they'll write that one up on the sales contract?



Why in the heck would the buyer be worried about a christmas tree? Why not just buy them a fake one and forget about it. That is funny!
Posted by: ColoBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/14/08 12:10 PM

Maybe they mean a fake one. It doesn't specify. That will have to be negotiated.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/14/08 12:38 PM

Probably just a little incentive from a Seller who also owns a Christmas Tree Plantation. We've had it go the other way too; where the Seller reserves the right to come back and cut a Christmas Tree every year for 10 years. (And sometimes cut every Frazier Fir tree that he planted over the past 8 year period ! Sometimes the sticks growing on a piece of land are worth more than the underlying dirt.)
Posted by: iTSSold

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/20/08 03:50 PM

NEWLY RENOVATED, VACANT HOUSE. EASY TO SHOW, LOCK BOK ON FRONT DOOR. SHOW ANYTIME. GREAT LOCATION. LOCKBOX COMBINATION, COMBINATION IS S.E.X.
Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/20/08 10:30 PM

I gag when I see "cute as a button." Am I buying a kitten or a house?
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/21/08 12:42 PM

We have an agent here who puts "Eye-Poppin' Pretty!" in all of his MLS listings. I have yet to have my eyes bug out of my head when I drive by any of his listings.
Posted by: agent009

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/21/08 01:13 PM

we have one in Chicago who put "..open space with plenty of light coming in is what the doctor ordered.." or another one who said "..I know this house is the ugliest on the block but bring us an offer" I wonder if her seller agreed to that comment!
Posted by: MontereyBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/21/08 01:18 PM

I ran across this the other day while comping a BPO:

Beautiful hoe

That's right, m was missing, or not? Surely made me laugh. Wasn't a new listing either. Wonder what qc would do with that?
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/21/08 02:22 PM

Originally Posted By: MontereyBroker
I ran across this the other day while comping a BPO:

Beautiful hoe

That's right, m was missing, or not? Surely made me laugh. Wasn't a new listing either. Wonder what qc would do with that?


Maybe she came with the house. Great incentive! Either that or they have fancy garden equipment. grin
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/21/08 07:17 PM

My former broker used the same remark in all his listings. "Nice home in a nice area."
Posted by: Alabama

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/21/08 08:22 PM

"Doors are not secured, show at your own risk."

That really makes me want to run over and show
Posted by: REO DISPATCH

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/21/08 11:39 PM

True story here, a lady is auctioning off her house where she is included!! ! ! ! !!
She is cute, wonder what the stipulation is.
Guessing probably a short sale, no I am not interested.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/22/08 12:19 PM

She's the Non-Practicing Real Estate Agent in Florida. Ben put in a Bid on that Offering a couple weeks ago; but he hasn't reported back to us.
Posted by: FaithfulAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/23/08 09:20 PM

"This home is a doll house! Absolutely everything is brand new and spanking clean"


No
Comment....
Posted by: Carey

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/24/08 07:46 PM

The most over used ANNOYING phrase I keep seeing is "Honey, Stop the car!" UGH -- it sickens me to type it!
Posted by: RichardDD

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/26/08 07:16 AM

Help I don't understand-----

.....The Price on this property has been initially reviewed and the bank recieved appraisal and ready to MOVE FAST no waiting as in a short sale!THIS IS A SHORT SALES SUBJECT TO CURRENT MORTGAGE HOLDERS'S APPROVAL AND MAY HAVE TIME CONSTRAINTS.....

Like a short sale but its not.
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/27/08 02:30 AM

Breaking this down 'cause the LA is out to lunch.

What it is:

A short sale

How is this different from other short sales out there?

Lender has preliminarily approved the short sale subject to some magic number the appraisal has provided.

What does the above mean?

It means the AM is on board with the short sale, no dilly-dallying around with hardship letters, current financials, etc. In a nutshell - quicker response time!

Time constraints? What time constraints?

Inspections, start them now if writing an offer, regardless of what's in the agreement, shortened contingency periods. Ya know...like REO but not REO!

Glad I could translate...of course, I'm completely wrong but I gave it a shot. Agent gibberish spoken here! wink
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/27/08 06:47 AM

Originally Posted By: Carey
The most over used ANNOYING phrase I keep seeing is "Honey, Stop the car!" UGH -- it sickens me to type it!


That, and "Pride of Ownership is Evident!"
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/27/08 08:02 PM

GOOD GRIEF! Please don't drool on the floor..GIGANTIC MASTERPIECE! 5/6 Bedrooms!Over 4,300 sqft~~WATERVIEW~~VACANT (RESERVE) LOT NEXT DR,Granite,CrnMolding,Rotunda,LgWindows,10Ceilingfans,CustomArchways,UPGRADES EVERYWHERE!GRANITE,TILE,SOFT ON YOUR FEET STYLISH CARPET! Maytag Stainless App,Jetted Tub,Custom Accents, ENORMOUS closets, *REAL MOVIE THEATER RM* BAM! 11x26 Patio Extension! You WON'T Believe IT! SUPER SLEEK SPRIAL Staircaise! WOW! 2 BR'S DOWN!ONCuldesac ST!


I don't know what part bugs me about it. BAM!, the drooling on the floor comment, the random use of capitalization, the soft on your feet comment, the misspelling or the nospacesweirdabbreviationshoveasmuchasyoucanintothedescriptiontechnique. Upload a feature sheet already.
Posted by: Illinois Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/27/08 08:55 PM

Agent Remarks: For Tech-Minded-We Have The New "KAP'N KAFLOOGY'S DIGITAL DOOR DAGGER" 1st) Log in Using Swedish! Then Bring Along An Ice Pick-(Tuesdays a Q-Tip Is Substituted) The Sensitive System Requires That You Stand On 1 Foot! Blood Types Required!

I wish my MLS would ban stupidity!
Posted by: SoFlo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/28/08 02:19 PM

I can't believe nobody has submitted this one yet:

"Just bring your toothbrush and move in!"

How cute. Gag.
Posted by: Gman

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/29/08 12:51 AM

My favorite for a guy/gal in my area is, "This REO is the best we have seen".
OR,
Be adventurous and take a balloon ride, explore the wine country, gamble at the nearby casino, ski at one of the local lakes, golf at one of the eight local golf courses, or just sit back and take in a view of the sunset. BARF, every listing, every time.
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/06/08 06:32 PM

Okay, I've got something so horrendous, so weird. Saw it today. Here it goes:

"Passion, Betrayal,Forgiveness.....A love that never ends. Whitewater Rafting, Incredible long range views, Suspense,Excitement,Super Heroes,Villains.....A love lost, A love found....Thrills, Chills, Inspiration,Excitement, Peace....All these may be yours when you make this 2 bedroom/2 bath home your own. Hear the pines sing as you relax on your deck, warm yourself by the woodburning fireplace, park your car in the double garage and....take a short walk to the movie theater....You'll never feel alone again."

This is for a mobile on a postage stamp behind a strip mall. One will not hear pines singing over the roar of traffic. If one does, it will be a sad song. A sad pine song. A song of betrayal, of forests lost to pizza places and bagel shops...
Posted by: KeepItReal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/06/08 07:30 PM

Whoa! That's stunning! sick
The real estate version of Fabio... with a mullet. ew!!
Posted by: Bunny

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/06/08 10:15 PM

Here is good one:"Lovely gaey cat might be in or out, it's okay to let him in, he's absolutely harmful". Uhm, I would think twice about being around "lovely gaey cat".
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/06/08 11:06 PM

Quote:
"Passion, Betrayal,Forgiveness.....A love that never ends. Whitewater Rafting, Incredible long range views, Suspense,Excitement,Super Heroes,Villains.....A love lost, A love found....Thrills, Chills, Inspiration,Excitement, Peace....All these may be yours when you make this 2 bedroom/2 bath home your own. Hear the pines sing as you relax on your deck, warm yourself by the woodburning fireplace, park your car in the double garage and....take a short walk to the movie theater....You'll never feel alone again."


Friggin' hippies smile (spoken as a closet hippie).
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/07/08 08:06 AM

A Mobile Home with a Wood-Burning Fireplace is exceptional ! I sold one a couple months ago and we had a delay while they searched for the UL Certification. Many Insurance Companies have a blanket prohibition on WoodStoves and FirePlaces in Mobiles. Ours was a Titan DoubleWide.

But your's has a local source for Bagels to toast over that FP, too !

I tried once to talk about the Excellent Distant Views which are punctuated with local cultural activity (like right in your face !).
Posted by: iTSSold

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/07/08 07:40 PM

BROWNSTONE SEMI-DETACHED LEGAL 3 FAMILY ON WELL KEPT BLOCK, ALL ORIGINAL MOLDINGS & MOSAIC TILES, DUMB WAITER, SHAFT W/GLASS PANES. NEW HEATING & HWH, STAINED GLASS SKYLIGHT. FULL BASEMENT W/SEPARATE
ENTRANCE FROM STREET. OWNER MOTIVATED. ALL CALLS THROUGH LB.

.....what part of the house is a "dumb waiter"???
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/07/08 07:40 PM

You've never heard of a dumb waiter? Very common in luxury homes and hotels in the old days.

Google it - basically it is a feature to transport food to other floors or rooms without contact with "the help."
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/07/08 08:25 PM

Like a Clothes Chute with a Rope !
Posted by: FLBeachbum

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/07/08 08:25 PM

We have a dumb waiter in our office. Picture a mini elevator for documents and packages. It goes from our administrative office upstairs to accounting. Pretty nifty.
Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/08/08 02:36 PM

Can not stand the following remarks: "just move right in" ( I have yet to see a house that needs absolutely no work, except new construction.) "Cute" and "adorable". (These are not kittens nor babies; they are homes.)
Posted by: ggwwttre

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/08/08 04:19 PM

I'd like to make me one of those riders for my REO's

"I am NOT getting out of the car... but dear it's CHEAP!"
Posted by: MN REO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/08/08 04:19 PM

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHOWING ~ PLEASE REMOVE SHOES, DO NOT LET CAT OUT ON WEEKENDS, LEAVE BUS. CARD, LOCK DOORS AND CALL W/ FEEDBACK ASAP ~ THIS IS NOT A FORECLOSURE OR SHORT SALE ~

apparently the cat only goes out during the week?
Posted by: Gman

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/09/08 01:16 AM

How about "rot iron" who knows, maybe they are telling the truth.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/09/08 09:25 AM

This is the precise reason we point out bad spelling skills and grammar on this forum....

Nice custom built home. This property includes part of a landing strip. The lockbox is on the side of the house on the focet.
Posted by: Illinois Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/09/08 12:42 PM

Originally Posted By: DueDiligence
Okay, I've got something so horrendous, so weird. Saw it today. Here it goes:

"Passion, Betrayal,Forgiveness.....


The Passion is after reading the ad, the betrayal is after viewing the home, the forgiveness is what the listing agent will be asking for by wasting the time of buyers.
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/09/08 06:31 PM

[quote=DueDiligence]"Passion, Betrayal,Forgiveness.....A love that never ends. Whitewater Rafting, Incredible long range views, Suspense,Excitement,Super Heroes,Villains.....A love lost, A love found....Thrills, Chills, Inspiration,Excitement, Peace....All these may be yours when you make this 2 bedroom/2 bath home your own. Hear the pines sing as you relax on your deck, warm yourself by the woodburning fireplace, park your car in the double garage and....take a short walk to the movie theater....You'll never feel alone again."

This is for a mobile on a postage stamp behind a strip mall. One will not hear pines singing over the roar of traffic. If one does, it will be a sad song. A sad pine song. A song of betrayal, of forests lost to pizza places and bagel shops... [/quote]

The agent who wrote this obviously studied those Seinfeld episodes where Elaine was writing ads for the J. Peterman catalog and Mr. Peterman was telling stories of traveling to exotic locations.

The MLS mis-spellings here are largely the fault of the staff at the board who inputs the listing data. Nice ladies but they drive me nutty!
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/12/08 12:31 PM

Originally Posted By: Jenanderson
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHOWING ~ PLEASE REMOVE SHOES, DO NOT LET CAT OUT ON WEEKENDS, LEAVE BUS. CARD, LOCK DOORS AND CALL W/ FEEDBACK ASAP ~ THIS IS NOT A FORECLOSURE OR SHORT SALE ~

apparently the cat only goes out during the week?


laugh They sound very demanding too!
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/14/08 08:12 PM

I have no clue what this means:

"one of a kind sleeper pool home looks good feels good is good".

Accompanying photos are blurry cell phone interior shots of walls & floors.
Posted by: plutostina

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/17/08 09:31 AM

Actual Listing for a 1 bed/1 bath (oceanfront) for $699,000:

"The famous Dome House on Summer Haven--only the hale and hearty would live in this as it is--but what a great little perch, while you plan and permit your dream beach house. Ocean in the front yard and river in the back yard--this is it. Access issues and a building moratorium just add to the adventure of owning a property like this. High and dry lot on Summer Haven dunes. Access only by escorted four wheel drive."

So . . . you wouldn't want to live in this house, but you can enjoy the "adventure" of building your dream beach house, except you can't build here due to permitting issues AND you can't even get to the lot on your own!!

I mean, I'd love a beach house, but not if I can't build there and I can't even get there!!!

That one just killed my husband. He thinks that takes the all time award for realtor positive spin on what sounds like a nightmare ownership situation.
Posted by: Houston Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/17/08 01:20 PM

I saw one the other day that said "selling because they're moving". Well, duh.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/18/08 04:50 AM

There's a house for sale near me right on a main highway. The listing agent has added one of those signs like a restaurant would have listing their specials to add some details about the house.
For the past two weeks the signs says "Owner says sell it now" I'm waiting for it to change to "Sell it later"

By the way, this place has been for sale since 2006 and I think this listing agent is the 4th or 5th one. The only good thing is that every time it relists the new agent has a borker open house - Can You Say Free Lunch??
Posted by: FL_Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/22/08 10:39 AM

"HOME IS IN NEED OF FINISHING- WAS FINISHED NOW IS NOT- BUT WOULD NOT TAKE MUCH TO FINISH- MOVE IN ONE RENT OTHER SIDE OUT-BANK FORECLOSURE- WUICK RESPONSE FROM BANK"
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/22/08 11:12 AM

Ok here's one I found today, maybe not stupid, but a little funny.

"Please be careful not to let the 2 miniature Shelties escape & if you are a man wearing a leather jacket of any kind - leave in your vehicle - Missy (the female Sheltie) doesn't like men in leather."
Posted by: SalePro

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/22/08 12:58 PM

"doesn't like men in leather"... makes me want to know more!
Posted by: Jayesnoop

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/22/08 02:19 PM

Classic stupidity.

A guy in our office posted the combo code in the public remarks section. The tenant is a deputy sheriff.
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/22/08 02:51 PM

Originally Posted By: Jayesnoop
Classic stupidity.

A guy in our office posted the combo code in the public remarks section. The tenant is a deputy sheriff.


Unbelievable. Definitely the makings of a good comedy...or drama.
Posted by: A1fla

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/22/08 04:14 PM

I went to check a new REO listing, across the street is a house for sale with a large franchise real estate company and he has one of the stupid riders on top of his sign "Honey, stop the car" the house looks like it has been abandoned, grass and weeds 6 feet tall. moldy driveway infested with weeds.
Should say "honey, stop the car wtf is that" Next time I go there I am going to get a picture, it is funny.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/08 05:32 AM

By the way, when did "Price Reduced" sign riders become "New Price"?
That seems to be the current rage locally.
It would be better to have a sign rider that said:
"Owner is an idiot, insisted I list the house at a ridiculous high price, finally came to his senses but is still 5 or 6% too high"
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/08 09:01 AM

I spotted a rider the other day "Now an even better deal" or words to that effect.
Posted by: SellMyDigs

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/24/08 03:41 AM

Saw a listing today who's main picture was and attic access door in the garage. smile
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/30/08 12:58 PM

"Has A/C unit for cooling".

So THAT'S what those A/C units are for!

This from a listing in the desert.
Posted by: SalePro

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/30/08 01:25 PM

From a comp. last night... this one hit me 2 ways...

"baby at home, call for an appt. mom almost always home"

1. I know what the agent meant... but is the mom sometimes not home and the baby is? :-)

2. I really do not like having comments about babies or children and never include a picture that would indicate that there are ANY children in the home... not even a swing set. There are too many scary people out there. Thankfully with REO's it's not an issue, yay!
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/30/08 02:25 PM

Not a stupid MLS comment, but a stupid street name: Liniment Street...this for a lakefront property on a private cove. Anyone familiar with horses knows liniment as a medicinal solution with a pungent aroma for rubbing on sore horses' legs. Duh.....
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/01/08 11:21 AM

Originally Posted By: SalePro
From a comp. last night... this one hit me 2 ways...

"baby at home, call for an appt. mom almost always home"

1. I know what the agent meant... but is the mom sometimes not home and the baby is? :-)

2. I really do not like having comments about babies or children and never include a picture that would indicate that there are ANY children in the home... not even a swing set. There are too many scary people out there. Thankfully with REO's it's not an issue, yay!



I had not thought of that but you're right. Advertising mom is home alone with a baby or toddler is a terrible idea! Simple enough to say: "Someone usually available but please call first".

Even if it's in the "agent only" section I have seen hundreds of MLS print outs which were not scrubbed by the agents who handed them out & the agent remarks were visible to the potential buyers.
Posted by: Adventurer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/01/08 07:30 PM

An REO agent in our area has 50 active listings with identical marketing remarks: "This property has many great qualities."

Our MLS spell check used to suggest 'recession', so agents would note by status, "Active, pending recession" rather than pending rescission.

The remolded houses always crack me up...
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/02/08 12:33 AM

We have an agent with a couple hundred listings and his are all identical too

"Bank Owned. Excellent Value. Priced Right."

Sometimes they are, sometimes it is funny.
Posted by: Margaritaville

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/02/08 12:30 PM

"Must have confirmed appt. due to shift worker pets."

If their pets can work, why can't mine? Sorry kitty, you'll have to buy your own food from now on. And try to find a job with health insurance benefits.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/04/08 04:25 PM

Saw this one today on a comp:
"This is a must see property ina quite area"

I don't know who Ina Quite is, but someday I must see.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/04/08 05:27 PM

Not a stupid comment but a stupid virtual tour....with ONE photo of the property from the front. Duh!
Posted by: AliceInReoLand

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/04/08 05:58 PM

Here's a pet peeve of mine: MUST SEE TO APPRECIATE!!!! In all caps. Now isn't that the case with any property on the MLS? Don't you really kinda need to see them ALL to appreciate them?
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/04/08 06:09 PM

Here's one about a piece of land:

"It sits astute a 1+ acre parcel that stretches right to the pond's edge!!"


It sits ASTUTE?

Another one I saw mentioned an "enlightened chalet."

Huh? How can a house be ENLIGHTENED?

My favorite one though occurred when the listing agent obviously screwed up his cut and paste and mixed some of the private remarks with the public. It's since been fixed but this is sort of what it said:

DO NOT TOUCH HE BITES immaculate rancher home on two acres....

and in the private remarks it said "DO NOT TOUCH BIRD HE BITES."

LOL
Posted by: SuzeeQzee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/04/08 08:18 PM

I am kinda partial to my own remarks. I like to write and I like to write entertaining copy so as not to be too serious. I spell great, my keyboard messes up sometimes though.

I have a listing that is in a heavily forested area and very secluded. The owners have some plaster deer and elk figures in the yard. I have a photo of that and it says to come and enjoy the wildlife.:D

I have a couple of other listings that are vacant and I provide free snacks and water bottles. I say in private remarks, Thank you for showing this listing, please help yourself to a snack, water bottles are in the fridge. :) I think they all appreciate that and have had lots of showings - no offers though.

I do hate the remarks, though, of agents that can't spell. At first I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, but if they keep repeating the mistake, then I cringe. How can they write a valid earnest money agreement if they can't spell?
Posted by: RichardDD

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/15/08 06:15 PM

Here's one from SW Florida---

***Very well maintained bank owned property. This is a still. Priced to sell. Come see today**

I know them moonshiners, wer epretty creative, but a whole house made into a still?!!!
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/15/08 08:16 PM

We had one of those busted here recently. They couldn't get anyone to testify against the guys running the still, but they ended up getting them on tax evasion...
One property here had been raided by the Humane society. A pet hoarder had, like 200 dogs and cats, and a variety of other animals. the place was TERRIBLY filthy. Anyway, she ended up having to sell it and I guess the listing agent couldn't think of anything nice to say, so he just stated "A pet lover's paradise." yeah, with all the animal feces included, right?
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/08 08:37 AM

Not from the MLS but from one of those electronic flyers that flood our e-mail boxes:

"...Temp-Controled Wine Seller & Stereo Integrated Home System..."

M'kay, the Seller is temp-controlled by wine...good to know!

This is for an upscale, expensive home. I think they meant cellar and controlled but whatever...

Let me know if you want the street address, there's an open house this coming Sunday. You could check out the Seller and let us know about the cellar.
Posted by: OHAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/08 08:40 AM

I saw an ad in a RE magazine a while back that stated the house had a beautiful "bridle" staircase. It actually was for a house in the country, but I'm still pretty sure they meant BRIDAL staircase. smile
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/08 08:45 AM

You mean you don't think you put a bit between your teeth as you went up the stairs??????
Posted by: cjmj

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/08 05:25 PM

ALL OFFERS SUBJECT TO LENDER APPROVAL-THIS HOME WILL GO QUICKLY AT $189,900-SAVE EVEN MORE!CALL ME TODAY!

Originally priced at 267,900, now at 175,900. If only they would price it back at 189,900 they could get it sold.
Posted by: BayAreaAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/08 06:48 PM

saw this in the mls public remark and on flyer.

" double pain window "

it must be really painful....
Posted by: Delicious Cake

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/28/08 02:41 AM

Omg..

On a house with no photos -

Double murder occurred in home recently and home remains uncleaned, possible biohazard.


eew.. why not wait to list it until the entrails and grey matter have been removed from the walls?
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/28/08 12:29 PM

Why not get the home cleaned?

I know, some sellers want the home on MLS as soon as possible but geez, wouldn't you think the disclosures would have been enough? Nothing like stigmatizing a property.......
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/05/08 09:42 PM

Don't Mess With Me! No really, I mean it!!! I went to school, I mean schoool! What's a shoping certer again? It could be in a quiet neighborhood but it is quite a neighborhood, what with the schoools and all........

"Just remodeled home, great investment or first home opportunity, quite neighborhood, close to the culd de sac, walking distance from the water, 5 minutes from Schoools, shoping certer, and hospital. location, location, location. Don't mess it. Priced to sell fast, bassfishing...."
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/05/08 10:39 PM

Things that make you go hmmmmmm! confused
Posted by: SalePro

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/05/08 11:56 PM

almost sad really...
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/06/08 12:12 AM

To be fair, in my most recent example, it could be a language barrier (English as a Second Language) or, it could be indicative of the educational system in my area. I notice this more frequently with agents who are "natives" of this county vs. agents (such as myself) who are transplants. Our school system sucks, there isn't any other way to put it. Our test scores confirm my supposition.
Posted by: SalePro

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/06/08 08:42 AM

CanDo... I just wanted to clarify that my comment was not directed at you personally. I just felt that it was a sad first impression of our industry. We've all made spelling or grammer errors in our comments, but that was beyond that. I hope it was a language issue and that that person now has a native speaker assist with these things. Good for the person for putting forth the effort. We all had to practice Englist at one point, be it at 1 year old or 25 years old.

If it's an education issue that is unexceptable and something must be done. Should an essay be added to the state test? I don't think so, and I wish I knew the answer.
Posted by: MN REO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/28/08 08:52 PM

Large ear in kitchen. 3+ bedrooms, lower level family room. Low association fee. Vaulted ceilings and warm colors in home. A must see.

I would love to see that large ear in the kitchen. It really makes it stand out from the rest!
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/28/08 09:14 PM

"Please call both numbers before showing. Friendly day "Lady" in back yard - likes to jump. Conventional loans are available on this home - call agent for details!"

I don't know what a day "lady" is, but I would say this one is friendly - she likes to jump!
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/28/08 09:25 PM

Another great total rentinvation by Joe Smith . . .

Was that an invention? Or a renter-removal service? Or what? No matter how well the home was remodeled, this remark wouldn't entice me to come and see it.

(In fairness to agents, our MLS employs a couple or three gals to input MLS data. And they need to learn to spell and use proper grammar. They also need to take care not to mix 'n match listings data for listings on the same street . . . but that's another subject.)
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/08 07:23 AM

"This property is located in ***** on a quite rode."
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/08 07:28 AM

Ever wonder how many agents are celebrating the listing as they enter it? sick
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/08 07:39 AM

Well it's either the agent or the office secretary that enters it. So either one is happy to get a listing or the other is disgruntle to actually have to do some work.
Posted by: Cbarris

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/08 07:57 AM

I remember an ad a few years ago about a house with a humongous deck, great for entertaining. DECK was spelled with an “ i ” Mistakes happen, sometimes they are really funny.
Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/30/08 01:35 AM

"Owner will consider all reasonable Offers."
You don't say....
Posted by: queen4day

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/30/08 11:11 PM

Hum..I'm thinking spell check, dic-tion-ary...
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/31/08 10:53 AM

"Owners are very easy to show"!
Posted by: DesertRose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/08 12:50 PM

"Duel pain windows"!
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/08 11:45 PM

My house has duel pain windows...they have double panes, and they're a pain...that was probably not a typo wink
Posted by: jdharpe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/03/08 10:20 PM

i put an reo listing on, and in the comments, i wrote, "major fixer that needs alot of TLC, it's still reeling from a bad breakup with previous owner"
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/06/08 05:21 AM

"The Great Room has custom built-in bookcases and entertainment center, vaulted ceilings and gorgous 180 degree views of the Hill Country panorama. Access to a SECRET OFFICE is through the book case."

Yeah, SECRET. Only 10,000 agents and all their clients know about it. SECRET.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/06/08 06:12 AM

And then there's this:

"AWESOME HILLCNTY ESTATE HOME W/ CIRCLE DRIVE & PORTE CACHE"

Apparently, this one has a door to a hiding place, or a hidden "Porte cochere."
Posted by: UrsulaLowther

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/06/08 06:48 AM

I personally like the "party shower"..... what kind of party are we having in the shower????

And then there's the "Jazzie Tub"... does the tub have Jazz Hands and Dance???

Or how about the one where this is no photo of the house and the only comment was "Must see this one".... it makes you almost go out there just to see how bad it was that they wouldnt even take a photo.

Then there's gazabow....I was hoping they meant gazebo.

Gotta just go "Bless their heart"
Posted by: REladyFL

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/06/08 09:35 AM

My favorite was a picture of the community pool that was labeled "guest bathroom". Gotta love it!!
Posted by: bourbonduke

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/06/08 08:26 PM

"This is a very active home with lots to offer for the money. Being located in a cuddle sac with a fenced back yard and no homes behind the house offer privacy thats hard to find in town."
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/06/08 08:51 PM

Hey now! It's hard to find a home with its own cuddle sac(k). I know, I've tried wink
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/08/08 06:11 AM

That jogged my memory.

I remember one a few years ago on a "colder sack".
Posted by: MontyC21

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/08 01:11 PM

"Laundry shoot" Throw them panties in the air and shoot at em?
Posted by: REO Man

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/08 02:52 PM

I see a lot of master suits, guest suits, and duel kitchens.
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/08 11:18 PM

"Designed with distinction you'll find characteristic architecture in this popular floor plan. Soaring ceilings & serene settings. Hugh deck great for entertaining. Great subdivision in established sought after neighborhood."

Blah blah blah blah blah...

And do you think Hugh will miss his deck??
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/27/08 12:24 PM

Price reduced for quick sale,Beautifull home on cul-de-sac huge lot.upgrades incude, corion counter tops!wood, pugo & Burber flooring!Jacuzi,shawer,elogated toiletbowls raised sink in master.Upgraded Garbage Disposer &TILE BACK SPLASH in KITCHEN ,.Upgraded energy efficient a/c system.High cielings,solid wood glass entrence door.Upgraded lights & light switches!Inbuilt microwave with vent outside.Insulated etic for energy afficiency.Playfort in the back yard and much more..


So sad.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/27/08 01:11 PM

That's sh!t you just can't make up - not even if you tried.

Let me guess - the license number started with an 058....
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/29/08 02:45 PM

Maybe Inglash is their 3rd language.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/30/08 05:08 AM

One I see a lot is "property has a hugh (family room, backyard. finished basement)..

Hugh who?
Hugh Downs
Hugh Hefner
Hugh Lawrey
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/05/08 02:37 AM

I guess they haven't heard... you can't take it with you! LOL

BUY THIS 3 BDRM/2 BATH HOME IN PICTURE PERFECT NEIGHBORHOOD AND GET THE SMALL INGROUND POOL FOR FREE!!

Whatever will they think of next?
Posted by: KeyLink

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/05/08 09:15 AM

I have had so much trouble with agents not locking up or leaving the lock box open with the code punched in....I put this message in all of my listings now..."Please lock up, it's not a rubix cube, it's a doorknob."
Posted by: TankNBlue

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/08 10:00 AM

"V.P.O Already Done"
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/08 04:09 PM

Pa Broker, I think it's Hugh Beaumont.
Posted by: spclagent7

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/08 09:44 PM

Personally I love when the lock box codes are in the listing. I look forward to seeing properties in great shape.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/08 11:05 AM

Spotted today in our MLS: "Sunk in" living room. LOL!
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/08 11:16 AM

All makes you proud to be Realiter smile
Posted by: Traveler

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/08 11:33 AM

They say a picture is worth 1000 words but do you really need 8 pictures of the kitchen? And of course, none of the front of the house.
Posted by: REODayton

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/08 11:37 AM

I've been considering the word "sexy" to my REO listings. Kind of like:
"Don't fret non now, with a little work this could be a sexy property. With some utilities, mood lighting, and some cheap wine, this would be the perfect Love Shack".

The property is only 14K!
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/08 11:46 AM

Dayton - take a cold shower and quit eating so many oysters wink

I wasn't sure if you meant: 'Don't fret none now' or 'Don't fret Nun now' hehe, all 3 would work - you might try posting that in the window as well, people would remember it.

Just Kidding - and for $14K it would need to be a lot of wine.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/08 12:22 PM

Spotted one the other day where the main photo is of an above-ground pool. 7 photos total, not one of them shows the front of the house!
Posted by: REODayton

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/12/08 01:17 PM

"Wonderful Home from Entry Rose Garden to Swing on Front Porch -thruout this home you'll feel at HOME." I actually saw the agent laying the mulch in the "garden".




I would have said" Fresh roses, a nice swing, perfect for a swinging party.
Posted by: NWABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/08 04:43 PM

Just Listed - "CUSTOM COUNTRY ABMOSPHIRE, CUSTOM CABINETS, COOKS KITCHEN, VIEW, THIS AWESOME HOUSE SUBJECT TO BANK SHORT SALE APPROVAL, AGENTS ALLOW ADEQUATE TIME".


I'll allow those of you wittier than I am to comment.....
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/08 06:36 PM

And Arkansas is ranked as the 38th Smartest State in the country (2003-2004 Morgan Quitno Rankings).

This means that those in Tennessee, Hawaii, Louisiana, Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Arizona, Mississippi, Nevada, New Mexico, Ohio and Delaware are unlikely to have yet learned the definition of "abmosphire."

Posted by: Alabama

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/08 07:54 PM

You are right. But in Birmingham they finally added a spell checker so hopefully less "ABMOSPHIRE" in our comments
Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/08 12:22 AM

"An offer would love to be entertained!!! "

Oh boy...how about dinner and a movie? cocktails and then some dancing?
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/08 12:46 AM

I wondered why this home was priced as low as it was - I figured it out pretty quick.

Can you imagine being the agent who has to put the spin on this crap? (pun completely intended)

Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/08 08:54 AM

MLS comments should read ~ This home has a 'Honey' of a view wink

Just to help educate - in construction vernacular - the port-a-lets/port-a-johns are also referred to as 'honey pots' and the tank truck that pumps them out is referred to as 'The Honey Wagon'.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/08 09:40 AM

How about 25 1/2 baths.
Posted by: Wissa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/08 10:16 AM

Invigorating Outdoorsy Smell, with unique views!!

Hows that for Realtor-ease?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/08 12:23 PM

Originally Posted By: Wissa
Invigorating Outdoorsy Smell, with unique views!!

Hows that for Realtor-ease?
Gosh, that sounds like a place I sold last Summer right next to a Corn/Alfalfa Field where they spread Liquified Cow Manure Three (3)times a year. Man, that house was so close to the Property Line that sometimes the high pressure Manure Spreader would spray right on the Siding of the Subject Property. Had to either keep the windows closed or maintain good neighborly relations !

That place smelled Outdoorsy enough to invigorate most of my Buyers to run away. And the Superb Views of a Healthy Corn Crop rotating with some fine Grazing Holsteins just wasn't enough to hold them in place - except for this last Guy (who had a nasal condition).
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/16/08 02:45 PM

I like the ones that say: Priced $10,000 below market or needs TLC Toilets, Linoleum and Concrete
Posted by: Wissa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/08 12:39 AM

I like the ones that say "WOW BEST BUY THIS ONE WONT LAST!" After checking days on market it reads 117 or more.
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/08 12:58 AM

"LOTS OF STORAGE PLACE AND A DETACHEABLE OVERSIZE TWO CAR GARAGE."

For that inevitable day when you can't stand the thought of having that garage attached to the house anymore. Just detach it!
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/08 02:34 AM

It would be oh so swell if folks could learn to spell. I'm amazed at the number of folks here who say that their MLS does the data entry for them. I worked at a brokerage where they did the data entry for the agents. I had one listing that they input for me...never, ever again! My parcel was zoned commercial and somehow it underwent a zoning change to residential, unbeknownst to me or the County! It takes a little time to input but at least any errors are mine!
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/08 09:29 AM

Originally Posted By: Highest&Best
"LOTS OF STORAGE PLACE AND A DETACHEABLE OVERSIZE TWO CAR GARAGE."

For that inevitable day when you can't stand the thought of having that garage attached to the house anymore. Just detach it!


Now that is funny smile
Posted by: jdharpe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/08 02:36 PM

ok, got a new one "This is a waterfront home that features viewing the waterfront."
Posted by: MontyC21

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/08 02:48 PM

"Other than damage, shows great"

Alrighty then....
Posted by: Tracybrian

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/20/08 04:31 PM

Marketing Remarks: ANOTHER HOLY COW BABY WOW!!!! WELL COME ON HIT ME WITH THE BEST SHOT..FIRE AWAY!! THIS BABY IS PRICE TO SELL.Centrally located to Freeway Access, School, Shopping, Mall, Hospital,Parks and much much more! THIS IS A GREAT HOME FOR STATER. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? LOOK NO FURTHER..THIS IS IT! LET'S BAM BABY BAM.

questions:
1)whats a "HOLY COW BABY WOW!"?

2)"HIT ME WITH THE BEST SHOT..FIRE AWAY", nice Pat Benatar reference right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLLSCLHKWPE&feature=related

3) Whats a STATER home?

4)"LET'S BAM BABY BAM." whats that?

Im confused are we talking about a house here?


Some of the best I have seen come from modesto............
Posted by: Tracybrian

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/20/08 04:46 PM

Here is another one from modesto which actually takes the cake........

Property Description: Contractors here it is!! what you all look for!.A tore back property in a great area with a great lot that needs to be rehabbed and flipped!!!.. I wont kid you it needs work but the bones on this are awesome! accross the street from a beautiful park, This is the prop you like to have the inside track on because at the price the upside is built in based on youre sweat and knowledge and the liquid scratch to lay down to do it! PROPERTY IS NOT ELIGIBLE FOR EXPRESS PATH FINANCING. GET SKIPPY !

many errors. hard to read. dont make sense really. Home is tore back and buyer needs to get SKIPPY. Is this street slang?

I like that if you have a little knowledge and liquid "scratch" you can buy.....
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/20/08 07:03 PM

A local REO Czar always comments this way, "if no keys are in the lockbox, offers will not be presented".

Most of the other Czars commonly state "phone calls on status or availability will not be returned".
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/20/08 07:44 PM

Read one today that simply said, "Please leave car." And the picture of the house was very plain -- with a large, fairly new white suv parked in the drive. I wondered if someone took that line literally - ?
Posted by: northtxbroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/22/08 01:50 PM

"Gorgeous 1929 Tutor impeccably restored to original granduer..."

Kinda gives plastic surgery new meaning, huh? Or, maybe they meant Tudor?
Posted by: MontyC21

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/09 07:16 PM

Just found this one and had to share......*COY POND*
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/09 08:04 PM

Why is that stupid?? People pay big money for them - some Coy go for hundreds of dollars each.

Disclosure - My nephew owns Pondtastic - in Orlando, Fl.

Built one for Richard Petty up here in NC too wink

Go Get'em Little Jimmy - Coy Ponds
btw - He's about 6'3" and as my mother use to say - his company t-shirts look as big as billboards.
Posted by: allREOpreserv

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/09 08:19 PM

LOL. Because it's spelled Koi, not coy. Coy must be some pretty flirty fish and that's why people pay big bucks for them.

Linda
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/09 08:21 PM

Ah that is what I thought too - evidently Coy works too wink

example: Google 'Coy Pond'

On the other hand - I have been called a Realiter by many with more degrees then sense - Even had a speech pathologist write me an escrow check to XXX Reality wink
Posted by: MontyC21

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/09 08:31 PM

Well, I guess I should have googled before posting, but I had no idea there were two spellings!
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/09 08:32 PM

Us'ns neither wink
Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/09 09:50 PM

"House completely copper free!"
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/09 09:53 PM

ROFLOL laugh
Posted by: muthu

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/03/09 09:46 PM

You're right! You have to think for some ideas that could open a conversation to your readers. More people will leave their comments if they find it interesting.
-------------
Muthu

[url=http://mls.fastrealestate.net/b/flat-fee-mls-2]Flat Fee MLS[/url]
Posted by: BuckeyeMatt

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/05/09 10:29 AM

Ok I've got one...."Chef's Dream Kitchen!!"

That's not that bad you say?

Well, when you see this agents same tagline on a $15k trailer and a $300k home on the golf course, it tends to bring a little chuckle after reading.
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/05/09 11:43 PM

'Oh Honey-Stop the car!'...This one is the answer to our prayers...a SPARKLING CLEAN 4 BRDRM on a quiet 'kid-friendly' street w/ HARDWOOD FLOORS...ALL FRESHLY PAINTED...move in ready..I love the BIG open kitchen..It has the romantic fireplace & WONDERFULL COVERED PATIO you dreamed of for our BBQ'S!!..we literally do not have to do a thing! We better get our option money down asap..because all those other buyers will be at this one, like fleas jumpin on a stray dog! A GORGEOUS 1-sty home!!

Cack
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/06/09 08:35 AM

Quote:

'Oh Honey-Stop the car!'...This one is the answer to our prayers...a SPARKLING CLEAN 4 BRDRM on a quiet 'kid-friendly' street w/ HARDWOOD FLOORS...ALL FRESHLY PAINTED...move in ready..I love the BIG open kitchen..It has the romantic fireplace & WONDERFULL COVERED PATIO you dreamed of for our BBQ'S!!..we literally do not have to do a thing! We better get our option money down asap..because all those other buyers will be at this one, like fleas jumpin on a stray dog! A GORGEOUS 1-sty home!!


I think I counted at least 3 fair housing violations in that listing description. grin
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/07/09 04:44 AM

I was just thinking, the "fleas on a stray dog" line would work in a lot of REO's.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/07/09 04:54 PM

"Quiet area no hoes in front or back." Errrrr. Maybe that should be HOMES??????
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/07/09 05:20 PM

Originally Posted By: neudot
"Quiet area no hoes in front or back." Errrrr. Maybe that should be HOMES??????


LOL!!!
Posted by: socon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/09/09 05:56 AM

Originally Posted By: neudot
"Quiet area no hoes in front or back." Errrrr. Maybe that should be HOMES??????


No, I'm sure it's right. I had a home that did have hoes in front and back and it was anything but quiet! LOL
Posted by: VernalUtah

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/09/09 07:33 AM

Indeed. Information about the quality of the neighborhood is always useful. LOL
Posted by: Steve Howe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/10/09 01:10 AM

I still love the "Needs TLC" line, when it's obvious that the home needs to be TORN DOWN!

Sorry, no amount or combination of T, L, and C can bring back your shack.
Posted by: FL_Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/19/09 06:04 PM

"The inside invites you in to see the spacious home with beautiful floor tile"
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/19/09 08:50 PM

These comments are from a new listing just reassigned from me to another agent...

SELLER TO MAKE NO REPAIRS. SQFT [censored] TO TAX RECORDS.....PRTIALLY REHAVVED HOME.....LOTS OF NOOKS AND CRANNIES.

I added the dots in place of normal comments.

I think the nooks and crannies are in the SQFT. [censored]. but since it has been rahavvilitated, I am not sure.

Sorry they censored me there for a bad word. Think of another word for posterior or rump or bum or can. Oh yah, it ends in ss and starts with a
Posted by: Realtor247

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/23/09 01:13 PM

People out here do "house beautiful". Since when do we put a noun in front of a adjective?
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/23/09 03:07 PM

comment dumb
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/23/09 10:35 PM

POOL AREA IS INCLUDED IN GLA
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/24/09 04:30 AM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
POOL AREA IS INCLUDED IN GLA
I usually include it when it's indoors and heated.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/24/09 10:05 AM

I have done BPOs on three or four homes that have heated indoor pools. One of them was more than 7,200 sq ft when the pool area was included. As that's at least 2,000-3,000 more square feet than practically anything else in my neck of the woods, it was totally impossible to comp with the square feet for the pool area included. So right or wrong, I subtracted the pool area from the GLA in order to comp it, then gave back value for the pool area.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/24/09 11:06 PM

NESTLED IN A QUIET CUL DE SAC LOCATION, ALSO NEAR SHOPPING AND OCEANA NAVAL AIR BASE.

OCEANA IS THE NAVY'S MAIN EAST COAST BASE FOR JETS. HORNETS ARE CONSTANLY FLYING IN AND OUT OF THERE OR JUST DOING TOUCH AND GO'S. THEY ALWAYS GO IN SETS OF 4. YOU CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING (EXCEPT FREEDOM!!)
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/09 12:04 AM

"Exclude Abortration from contract"

What the heck is Abortration
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/09 09:34 PM

Very Unique
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/09 11:13 PM

I would think they meant arboretum. They shoulda said green house imho. If no green house like thing, then my best and last guess would be arbitration!!!! I think that's a winner.
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/09 11:26 PM

Originally Posted By: CanDo
I would think they meant arboretum. They shoulda said green house imho. If no green house like thing, then my best and last guess would be arbitration!!!! I think that's a winner.


Ya, she meant arbitration but I thought it was a funny alteration of an easily spelled word
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/01/09 02:08 PM

Enchanting 5 lot subdivision in a county like setting.
Posted by: HogCallBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/01/09 11:55 PM

How about "$2,5000 Selling Agent bonus if closed by 10/31" ...in the public remarks...in March
Posted by: FaithfulAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/09 10:56 AM

Mice wooded lot.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/09 11:06 AM

My favorite was when the agent put the lock box code in the public remarks section......

I shot a fast email to the agent to make him aware....didn't even get a "thank you" back.....hmmmmmmmm
Posted by: allREOpreserv

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/09 11:32 AM

Originally Posted By: FaithfulAgent
Mice wooded lot.


I like that one. It's probably true and his/her subconscious made him/her write it.

Linda
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/09 12:21 PM

Originally Posted By: CandyMan
My favorite was when the agent put the lock box code in the public remarks section......


Now that is pretty funny!
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/09 12:47 PM

Originally Posted By: CandyMan
My favorite was when the agent put the lock box code in the public remarks section......

I shot a fast email to the agent to make him aware....didn't even get a "thank you" back.....hmmmmmmmm


You are nicer than I am. I just click 'Report Data Error' and send a notice to the Board about it. I figure the fine the offending agent gets to pay is all the "thank you" I need! wink
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/09 01:02 PM

TB

I try to do the "right thing".....anybody can make a mistake. But, I've pretty much swung your way for anything in the future......when you can't even get a basic "thank you", it's time to move on.....The only thing missing in the header in his public remarks were......FREE FOR THE TAKING..or....COME AND GET IT!........I'm attempting to be a little more mellow as I enter my twilight years.....maybe, I'm just too old fashioned, by expecting a basic "thank you"....oh well....
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/09 01:26 PM

I see this one all the time. "Better than new" Really, what can be better than new. It's like the car dealers don't sell used cars anymore, they are "previously owned". So I would say to the salesman somebody owned this car but never used it. LOL
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/09 01:28 PM

I think some almost new homes can be "better than new." As in, "professionally landscaped, home theater, inground pool, finished garage," etc.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/03/09 04:57 AM

Many years ago, long before I got in the biz, we purchased a resale home and the agent used the description "Pre Loved"

Kinda sounded like a second marraige
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/04/09 11:13 PM

THIS HOUSE IS THE BOMB!!!!! AND IT HAS BEEN REDUCED ALMOST $5,000!!! IT HAS CABLE TV, CEILING FANS, DRYER HOOKUP


That frames it so well, don't you think?

Listing status is released
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/04/09 11:32 PM

Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose
THIS HOUSE IS THE BOMB!!!!! AND IT HAS BEEN REDUCED ALMOST $5,000!!! IT HAS CABLE TV, CEILING FANS, DRYER HOOKUP


SHUT UP! That's not real!! But then again... too stupid to be made up
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/05/09 04:32 PM

How about Big Yard, Big Kitchen, Owner says sale, Price $20k under Auditor value, Sold for $220k in 2004, now $140
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/05/09 04:34 PM

Most common in my market area: Plumbing and wiring has been removed.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/05/09 07:29 PM

Keene, it be real. I have never thought to accentuate the idea a home offers cable tv. Think of all the buyers that have passed over my listings becuase I failed to let advertise this detail.
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/05/09 07:52 PM

Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose
Keene, it be real. I have never thought to accentuate the idea a home offers cable tv. Think of all the buyers that have passed over my listings becuase I failed to let advertise this detail.


Haha. "It has walls, electrical sockets in all rooms, 2 phone jacks and a ceiling!!" LOL what a maroon
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/05/09 08:34 PM

Quote:
Haha. "It has walls, electrical sockets in all rooms, 2 phone jacks and a ceiling!!" LOL what a maroon



1 capitalized : a fugitive black slave of the West Indies and Guiana in the 17th and 18th centuries ; also : a descendant of such a slave
2: a person who is marooned (m-w.com)

Your stretching my vocabulary - I did not know this wink
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/05/09 11:15 PM

Originally Posted By: Pinehurst RE Guy
Quote:
Haha. "It has walls, electrical sockets in all rooms, 2 phone jacks and a ceiling!!" LOL what a maroon



1 capitalized : a fugitive black slave of the West Indies and Guiana in the 17th and 18th centuries ; also : a descendant of such a slave
2: a person who is marooned (m-w.com)

Your stretching my vocabulary - I did not know this wink


That's OK Pine... I'll help you out

From the Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=maroon

1. Maroon- A term of derision often uttered by Bugs Bunny when referring to an interaction with a dopey adversary. It is a mispronunciation of the word "Moron"
ex.
"What a Maroon!" "Will ya get a load of this maroon"

Let me know if you need anything else smile
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/06/09 04:50 AM

Found a new one "Has Superior Walls"

Turns out that this is a brand name for a basement finishing system.

I wonder if there's more than a few people in my area that would know this.
Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/09 12:49 AM

This was in a listing for a condo: "OWNER DIRECTS BROKER TO PRESENT ALL OFFERS."
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/09 08:01 AM

Originally Posted By: The Keene Team
Originally Posted By: Pinehurst RE Guy
Quote:
Haha. "It has walls, electrical sockets in all rooms, 2 phone jacks and a ceiling!!" LOL what a maroon



1 capitalized : a fugitive black slave of the West Indies and Guiana in the 17th and 18th centuries ; also : a descendant of such a slave
2: a person who is marooned (m-w.com)

Your stretching my vocabulary - I did not know this wink


That's OK Pine... I'll help you out

From the Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=maroon

1. Maroon- A term of derision often uttered by Bugs Bunny when referring to an interaction with a dopey adversary. It is a mispronunciation of the word "Moron"
ex.
"What a Maroon!" "Will ya get a load of this maroon"

Let me know if you need anything else smile


You see, I keep learning, just understand I never would have never thought of 'Bugs Bunny', but thanks wink
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/09 11:41 AM

Originally Posted By: Pinehurst RE Guy


You see, I keep learning, just understand I never would have never thought of 'Bugs Bunny', but thanks wink


Haha, no prob. Glad I could be of assistance!! smile
Posted by: cjmj

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/09 02:35 PM

It brings back cartoon memories, back when we had to wait until Saturday to see them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Kh7nLplWo
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/09 06:14 PM

Finished basement....Blocks have been painted.
Posted by: Saylor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/09 09:07 PM

I saw one listed the other day that had an "Ipay" deck. Since the agent's offer to pay I thought I'd ask for an Ipe deck.
Posted by: ortegarealestate

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/09 09:08 PM

Parkay flooring. Who want's to buy a house where the floors are made of butter.
Posted by: cleonard

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 01:44 PM

Butter
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 02:33 PM

No, parkay wink
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 03:21 PM

Butter - OK enough wink Margarine
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 03:39 PM

Spelling should be part of the Real Estate Test. Eliminate the dead would. LOL.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 04:24 PM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Spelling should be part of the Real Estate Test. Eliminate the dead would. LOL.


And the dead wood. Maybe a spelling test wouldn't be beneficial for you just yet.

p.s. Brummel & Brown
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 08:20 PM

Originally Posted By: TB in TX
Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Spelling should be part of the Real Estate Test. Eliminate the dead would. LOL.


And the dead wood. Maybe a spelling test wouldn't be beneficial for you just yet.

p.s. Brummel & Brown


I assumed everyone wood know that was intentional from the LOL. LOL
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 08:36 PM

Eye did. LOL. LOL
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 08:58 PM

Me two wink
Posted by: Jayesnoop

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 09:20 PM

In the directions field, the agent wrote "www.mapquest.com".
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 09:24 PM

LOL - Might be a MLS choice now wink
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 11:17 PM

Most hillarious thread ever
Posted by: Gman

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/09/09 11:40 PM

I'm not exactly sure but i think Rod Iron was a professional wrestler, on second thought maybe he was a porno star.
Posted by: HogCallBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/09 09:10 PM

Saw a classic today that's been mentioned here but it was a combo...Snow on the roof in the picture(no snow here for at least 3 weeks) and "Priced to sell, this one will go fast" - DOM = 142...
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/09 09:17 PM

Drove by a house today with agent sign that said. "Bigger than it looks" No it wasn't.
Posted by: PacificBreeze

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/09 01:15 AM

"movable granite kitchen"
I had to think about it for several minutes before I could figure out what the heck the agent was talking about!
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/09 02:46 AM

I don't get it...color me stupid.

*Hangs head in shame, first I don't know what ISD means and now I'm baffled by this. Do you think I ought to hang up my license?*
Posted by: MontyC21

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/09 06:23 AM

A center island on wheels? I don't get it either and if CaDo can't I know I won't..............................
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/09 07:22 AM

Originally Posted By: MontyC21
A center island on wheels? I don't get it either and if CanDo can't I know I won't..............................

I think these are those "heavy" Work Islands with little hidden "built in jacks" on wheels which allow the Chef in Charge to make minor adjustments to accomodate them . . . . so a kitchen can appear to have been made for a "big" (or wide) person, like say full size Paul Prudhomme, or your more petite version or "small" (narrow) person like the new Rachel Ray.

They aren't on the kind of cheesey rollers as might come to your mind. These Islands are actually quite stationary once someone decides where to plop them down. Once dropped, they look like they've been in that position since the beginning of time. Another Non-Chef might just decide to move the thing to the side and out of the way; or the Chef may change in stature, and need more or less manuevering room.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/14/09 01:19 PM

I found this gem today:

FP IS PLT STV IN FR

I THINK this translates to
Fireplace is pellet stove in family room.
Posted by: Saylor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/15/09 12:56 PM

Originally Posted By: neudot
I found this gem today:

FP IS PLT STV IN FR

I THINK this translates to
Fireplace is pellet stove in family room.


RU sr abt tht?
Posted by: FL_Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/07/09 12:51 PM

I had to read this twice before I understood the message.

THIS IS GOOD PROPERTY ALSO GOOD PRACI FOR BAYER IN THIS MOMENT, THIS PROPERTY IS A SHORT SALE.
Posted by: Leggo my Ego

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/07/09 12:53 PM

The sad thing is that agent probably even proof read that before clicking the "OK" button. LOL
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/04/09 02:52 PM

****THIS IS NOT A SHORT SALE OR BANK OWNED DEAL. NO MESSIN' AROUND WITH SOME KNUCKLEHEAD WHO'S NEVER EVEN SEEN THE PROPERTY.**** This is on a listing I am using for a comp.
Posted by: Crazy 2

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/04/09 02:54 PM

...lol

wow
Posted by: Cave Man

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/04/09 03:34 PM

I like these in the MLS:

"Hurry quickly this one won't last!"

DOM = 570.
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/04/09 03:39 PM

In the Remarks of one I used for a comp last week:

"Bring all gofers."
Posted by: OkeeDokee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/04/09 03:50 PM

This may be off topic, but I just hung up the phone with a Realtard who needed clarification because the property shows in MLS as VACANT, showing instructions GO DIRECT- but in the "tenant's name" section it reads VACANT.
She asked if the there was indeed a tenant.....so she was calling first before showing!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/07/09 08:39 PM

Approx. Living Area: 3 sq. ft

Wow I surprised she didn't say "easily maintained"
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/07/09 08:43 PM

Big House for Lilliputians wink
Posted by: cindysellshomes

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/08/09 05:40 AM

Originally Posted By: FL_Agent
I had to read this twice before I understood the message.

THIS IS GOOD PROPERTY ALSO GOOD PRACI FOR BAYER IN THIS MOMENT, THIS PROPERTY IS A SHORT SALE.


I don't get it??? Could someone translate. I must be having a blonde moment.
Posted by: FL_Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/08/09 07:56 AM

Hi Cindy:

Translation (I think):

"This is a good property, also good price for buyer today, this property is a short sale"
Posted by: ValuationGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/08/09 09:27 AM

I got a bpo with this comment of "large driveway that will hold many trucks". It was from Kentucky.
Posted by: FL_Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/08/09 11:52 AM

Maybe we should start a thread with the title "...BPO comments"

I almost submitted one with the following comment: "....boat duck..." instead of boat dock.

Thankfully, I always try to do a quick review before submitting and made the correction.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/17/09 07:52 PM

SELLER'S JOB LOSS IS YOUR GAIN

Maybe not stupid, but definitely not classy.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/20/09 02:47 PM

"Property is sold in as is condition as seller needs a no stress escrow, after two heart attacks"......

Would this be considered a "killer deal"?
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/22/09 09:08 AM

Candy, that's bad!

I previewed one for an ou os state buyer in which the comments read, "Call soon- won't last long!!!"
The agent was right- it was in such bad condition, I was lucky to get out of there before it was too late. Part of the roof actually collapsed under 1" of snow a few weeks later. We were waiting for the comments to change to something like "Ready for skylights," but the agent just lowered the price to lot value, removed all comments, and got it sold.
Posted by: SoFLBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/09 04:37 PM

"PLEASE DON'T LET 2 SMALL DOGS OUTGARAGE REFRIGERATOR & FR ENTERTAINMENT UNIT DON'T CONVEY."


One omitted punctuation can make a big difference!
Posted by: DeesREOs

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/23/09 09:18 PM

Today I saw : Iron Rod Fence (Is the fence made of the rod from the ironing board??? and...Nice Tyle flooring.
Posted by: Jayesnoop

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/24/09 12:05 AM

Today I saw "Korean" countertops.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/24/09 07:32 AM

horse corals
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/27/09 04:31 PM

OVER A 1/4 ACRE IN THE FAIR OAKS VILLAGE AND A PAR 5 FROM THE AMERICAN RIVER FOR $225K

Apparently, we're measuring by golf strokes not by blocks anymore
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/27/09 10:16 PM

Beware those errant golf balls. I refer, of course, to the Statewide Buyer & Seller Advisory. Funny, it doesn't mention anything about water hazards though. wink
Posted by: ditty

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/09 08:27 PM

MUST CONFIRM APPT! Small Dog Hates Humans will be outside usually unable to get on the Deck...why,why,why...would you have a dog like this...
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/09 08:38 PM

Ditty

.........to annoy the cat?
Posted by: ditty

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/09 08:43 PM

they didnt say anything about a cat...
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/09 08:53 PM

.......it's a given......every little "ankle bitter" has to have a cat.
Posted by: 1thingCoach

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/09 09:42 PM

Better yet...why would you take a listing with such a pet not allowing showings?
Posted by: northtxbroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/09 11:14 PM

Originally Posted By: ditty
they didnt say anything about a cat...

That's because the dog ate it...
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/03/09 12:32 PM

"2 car garage with extra space for a 3rd car."

So I checked the tax records and... it's a 3-car garage.
Posted by: VirtualAdmin

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/09 12:18 AM

It's probably a tandem garage - looks like a 2-car but is longer and has space for a 3rd car.
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/09 03:22 AM

"Community fratures many ammenities."

You cannot make this stuff up! rockon
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/09 07:45 AM

Yeah, those who push people to improve their writing skills get dumped on for being so nitpicky and unsociable, but when stuff like that gets posted in the MLS it makes the writer look STUPID!! 'nuff said.
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/09 05:32 PM

Spellcheck would solve so many problems! We even have spellcheck in our MLS, so there is no excuse for that listing. None.

We have an agent, who I feel is dyslexic, who would benefit from using spellcheck, I'm sure they would recognize the correct spelling if they saw it. The errors are just so inconsistent within the same listing. How you present yourself or your property in writing really does have an impact on how people deal with you and your listing.
Posted by: zephyr

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/09 07:50 PM

I have always been picky about proper spelling and punctuation. However, I am not a good typist, so I do let mistakes get past me too often. When I see them, though, I go back and correct them. Maybe some of these agents just are rotten typists, too. You would think that they, their brokers or someone in their office would catch those things, though!

I REALLY hate the things like "their is a fenced yard, a lean too (or two)..." Those dratted homophones!
Posted by: OkieDokie

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/09 11:55 PM

I showed a listing yesterday that was immaculent!
Posted by: alice

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/10/09 06:55 PM

Here's one that I hadn't heard before "shows like a top" does that mean your head will spin?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/10/09 07:21 PM

"unique, friendly, "Leave it to Beaver" oasis."

I didn't know the Cleavers lived in an oasis.

Who comes up this ****?
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/10/09 09:40 PM

Oh, that reminds me. I saw one the other day that said "Ward, June, Wally and the Beaver live here."

I thought, 'How pathetic that those kids never moved out.'
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/10/09 10:02 PM

Hopefully, Eddie Haskell has moved out of the neighborhood.
Posted by: Jayesnoop

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/18/09 08:44 AM

This was too good to pass up.

"The agent has a personal relationship with the seller (for now)"
Posted by: LLC

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/21/09 02:34 PM

"THIS IS THE PERFECT LUXURIOUS CONDO IN THE HEART OF MARINA DEL REY. IT'S SORRENDERED BY PALMS ALL AROUND AND THE EXPECTACULAR PACIFIC OCEAN VIEW . A PARADISE IN CALIFORNIA. DON'T LOSE THIS CHANCE TO OWN IT. CALL THE AGENT."
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/21/09 05:18 PM

"Lot has spacious backyard with penalty of room for a pool. House plan can be built on a difference lot in Windy Walk."
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/24/09 06:18 PM

Nice finished room in basement with fireplace great space for "man town".
Posted by: FIJIMAN

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/25/09 10:15 AM

I ran into this one today. These notes are in the public section, not the private agent section:

PLEASE NO FHA OFFERS, THE GOVERNMENT HAS DECIDED THAT 1ST TIME HOME BUYERS SHOULD NOT PURCHASE A NICE CLEAN HOME LIKE THIS ONE WHICH IS ALMOST NEW. LOCATED IN THE ARTISAN COMMUNITY. SPACIOUS TOWNHOUSE WITH PRIVATE ENTRY PATIO. THIS UNIT IS TRULY MOVE IN CONDITION. 2 POOLS 2 SPAS AND A RECREATION ROOM. THIS IS A GREAT FAMILY COMPLEX WITH MANY YOUNG FAMILIES. ALL 3 BEDROOMS ARE GOOD SIZE AND ARE UPSTAIRS. BACK ON THE MARKET 6-8-09

Not only does this agent take a dig at the gov but the 'great family complex' would make me nervous. Could that be borderline discriminatiory?
Posted by: cleonard

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/25/09 11:16 AM

I have one. Can someone explain to me what Prego flooring is?
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/25/09 01:41 PM

That has fair housing violation written all over it. I take it, old folks are discouraged from viewing it?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/25/09 01:55 PM

Originally Posted By: cleonard
Can someone explain to me what Prego flooring is?
It's hard, very hard. And it's baked; baked very long. It's a laminate flooring invented by Graziana Lazzarino, though Campbells Soup now holds the Patent on it. It's imported from Italy, and a cross section looksa like a nice a cheese & spinach Lasagna, but a little different. Cushioned like a nice a Stromboli; still dogs don't like it because they can't get traction. We have lots of Prego Flooring in our MLS too !
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/25/09 03:18 PM

Quote:
It's hard, very hard. And it's baked; baked very long.

And it was invented by the same people who invented Bakelite?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bakelite
Posted by: c21secretagent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/28/09 10:20 AM

I like this one I just read from a former colleague of mine, "This home has a newer ROUGH". I'm assuming he meant "roof". My biggest pet peeve is "freshly painted", what is fresh paint?

In our area there are many old timer agents who use this in all of their listing descriptions "COBROKE AGENT MUST ARRANGE AND ATTEND ALL SHOWINGS/INSPECTIONS TO RECEIVE COBROKE COMISH" (I agree you should attend, but this is a super negative way of saying it) oh and none of them use lock boxes of any sort! So they make it next to impossible to show because they have to attend every showing, just in an attempt to keep all the commission and not have to co-op with buyer's agents. This irks me to no end!!! So anti-consumer. Maybe I'm a bit off topic?
Posted by: Arizona REO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/29/09 10:45 AM

Not a comment, but on a 38k home too many zeros, sold for 38,000,000, really affects the average value and price range on CMA
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/29/09 08:05 PM

I still think the term "needs TLC" is the cheesiest. Anyone have some substitutions for the letters.

T = Toilets, tile, Tee pee

L = Linoleum, Lice removal, leveled

C = Commodes, concrete, costly repairs, crap done, collapsing
Posted by: Mike Tango

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/05/09 07:59 AM

ABSOLUTELY CHARMING GARDENERS PARADISE. LARGE 110X130 DEEP PARK LIKE PROPERTY WITH MANY MATURE PLANTINGS INCLUDING, ROSE GARDEN, DAY LILLYS, IRISES, AZALEA, ENGLISH IVY, SEVERAL JAPANESE MAPLES, TALL OAKS AND MAPLES AND MORE
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/05/09 08:07 AM

With all that beauty, will there still be enough room to fit a nice used DoubleWide ?
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/05/09 12:45 PM

From the agents who neither of them, got past 7th grade. True. I once asked one of them about punctuation and she looked at me like an owl -huh, what's that? She said she puts "spaces" between words...


VERY NICE D/W LARG LOT TREED AND LANDSCAPED CHANE LINK FENCE WITH PRIVECY FENCE IN BACK 2 PERSON SPA SCRENED IN

PORTCHRV HOOK UP AND PARKING HOME ON STEM WALL ALL MEAS. APPROX.
Posted by: alice

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/05/09 06:00 PM

And people are trusting some of these people with multi thousands of dollars worth of transactions. Some are for the roof over their head, the most expensive transaction they will make in their life. And NAR as well as our state associations say we police ourselves. Hogwash. Our code of ethics say we don't speak against our peers. No wonder the public doesn't trust us.
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/05/09 06:51 PM

Hot and cold running cockroaches
Posted by: Cave Man

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/06/09 11:38 AM

here's one more believe it or not:

enjoy the large backyard complete with spa and a big d_ck, great for entertaining

Posted by: ValuationGal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/09 11:36 AM

This home has a lot of curve appeal
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/09 05:03 PM

Cave man

I bet that one got some calls from the lonely house wives needing entertainment.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/08/09 01:07 PM

Great 2 Family with thirty floor finished!!!
Posted by: raices

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/08/09 01:23 PM

Directions to the property often amuse me. You can tell where the agent's office is located. Go north on highway XY and then turn left at Highway YZ, etc. How about a starting point? - like a well known intersection or landmark. Not everybody is is starting out at the listing agent's office to get to the property.
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/08/09 01:54 PM

Around my area one of the common comments is: Plumbing is Missing.

Thats code for, don't show up alone.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/09/09 10:22 AM

"Very good taken care off."
Posted by: Cave Man

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/09/09 11:33 AM

"you'll be living large in this small condo -- very large picture window that looks outside"
Posted by: BPO Depot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/10/09 04:31 PM

"Short Sale. No Key to house. Don't lock doors".

That's brilliant!
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/10/09 11:38 PM

Quote:
"Short Sale. No Key to house. Don't lock doors".

I had two BPOs on the same property last year...a property that was left unlocked. Although my first order was just for an exterior, I entered and observed the condition (a mess, just like it had been when it was listed earlier in the year). I think it was two weeks later I got the interior order. This time it was on lockbox. But in that two-week period, someone had entered and really trashed things. Doors off hinges, broken sheetrock, smashed mirrors, broken cabinetry. Leaving a vacant house unlocked is always an invitation to pranksters.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/11/09 06:56 AM

Originally Posted By: Cave Man
"you'll be living large in this small condo -- very large picture window that looks outside"
That's great. I bet that's one of those New Fangled ones that are Two-Way. So when you're outside, it looks inside !
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/15/09 11:19 AM

Custom home build in 2004.Approx 1834sq.feet (close! it has 1835sqft)4bed 2bath single story affordable. house, located heart of Carmichael were you can raise your kids in one of the desirable neighborhoods, in Sacramento area. (<-- random punctuation) The house has all kind of updates: 9 to 11 foot selling, granite counter top and custom back flash tile in large kitchen, Hard wood floor more and more. The house has bricks around the house which makes the house more energy efficient. (otherwise known as a brick house)Please see attachment, What you can save from the utilities?

bold comments are mine
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/15/09 12:27 PM

The hits just keep coming from the same agent as above (but it make perfect since to me):

"This 4b2b 1625SF affordable house hase 9'sealing in liv room, kit,muster bathroom & 190SQ G.house in the back. The owner just had done major remodeling. Its like rebuilt a new home: new windows & doors, new kitchen cab. appliances, granite counter top, new paint & stucco, new AC & heat, bathrooms are new and more Don't miss out on this opportunity. Please drive by you will not west your client time."
Posted by: Mark Brian

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/15/09 12:48 PM

Direct copy/paste:

"LOCATION DITO DITO WOUNDERFUL HOME IN GREAT SUBDEVISION.CCCCCCCCCCCLOSE TO EASLEY AND GREENVILLE. LADY YOU CAN SUNBATH BEHIND YOUR PRIVECY FENCE, AND THEN COOL OF IN THE COMUNITY P GUY AFTER YOU FINISH UP THIS CONVIENTLY COMPACTYARD WORK ,GRAB THE BAG AND HIT THE LINKS.OOL."
Posted by: ChristieS

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/15/09 01:11 PM

"First floor laundry."

Well since the home is a ranch without a basement I hope so....it is so nice to find a house without the laundry on the roof.
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/17/09 10:50 AM

I can't stand when the listings aren't accurate. 3000 living sq ft. No I don't think so.... check tax roll, it's more like 1850. it happens all the time.. even with the lot size and with waterfront... you just can't lie or bend the truth!
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/17/09 06:42 PM

I like this MLS comment which is common in my area: "this property sold for $150k in 2006"

Current list is $100k
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/17/09 06:46 PM

Patriots. I assume that in Florida they aren't adding basement finishing?
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/18/09 11:53 PM

lol! no basement unless you want to be underwater! I had a bpo on a condo today that was listed. Tax roll-1031, listing 1200 urg!
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/18/09 11:59 PM

Originally Posted By: patriots62
lol! no basement unless you want to be underwater! I had a bpo on a condo today that was listed. Tax roll-1031, listing 1200 urg!


If it's newer construction, they may have included the garage space in the total - makes it seem like buyers are getting a lot more for their money in the sales office - but the real GLA would be 1031 - they own 1200sqft.
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/19/09 05:38 AM

no garage. the a/c sq ft was 1031. It's just error on the part of the listing agent. You can't sell 1200, if it's not. I see this mistake more often then not. I always check the tax roll first.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/19/09 08:27 PM

Okay, BPO companies are not immune.
Mainstreet Val has a dropdown on the bpo form....Buyer Type.... owner or tennant. I think Tennant is misspelled too.
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/22/09 12:10 AM

"House is vacant and on keysafe, show anytime, all offers excepted."
Posted by: Mortgage-Master

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/04/09 02:18 PM

I have a house on my street in Tampa listed for sale. The property is in such bad shape they just used pictures of the other houses on the street. “Look what you can turn this beauty into’ lol
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/04/09 04:35 PM

I like that! Turning a lemon into $$$$$$$
Posted by: ....J~

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/07/09 11:14 AM

Okay - This one is just funny.

'Beautiful newer camelback with FROG.. Newer appliances and you have a place to put the mother-in-law when she vistis...'

Sounds more like a petting zoo then a house listing.
Posted by: Jayesnoop

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/09 03:09 PM

"TREE BED ROOM SERAMIC TILE ...TWO FULL BATH....NICE HOME...YOU MOSS SEE IT..THANK YOU...GOOD INVESMENT ....RESIDENTIAL OR COMERSIAL..."

On the market for 510 days. I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Posted by: Mike Tango

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/09 03:59 PM

The other days I received a BPO half done, the previous agent couldn't find comps and I found this on the comps sold commments:

Sold #1; smoke detector, open house every sunday, quater operated washer and dryer. Agent pushed to a hiher offer, thats why sold over listing price.

LOL, I had to call my wife because and laugh together....
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/09 04:08 PM

I read this one yesterday......had to read it 3 times.......

"Needs lender loveing care".....let us pray......lol
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/24/09 07:30 PM

"Priced to sell....hurry!" Days on market...384
Posted by: Brainerd

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/25/09 08:51 AM

"Very nice inside, surprising roomy, great for get-a-way or year-round home"

sqft: 860

@CandyMan: Hilarious!
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/25/09 06:39 PM

I don't know IF it's stupid or not . . . . it may just be some kind'a Sales Tactic ! My Friend Tom up here has coded this place in MLS to say that it has a Garage "Under".



I guess you'd have to go on up there and take a peek in order to say he's wrong! I don't know, but I reckon if there is a garage, it must be for one of those little hybrid bi-sexual cars.

Tom also says that if you act fast, the "Owner will furnish wood shingles to finish siding - enough for 3 sides." I don't know if I'd believe him on that part; but it sure would spruce the place up a bit ! Must be that one side is already good enuf.

Tom says that the place was built in 2000; but I think it looks much newer. And it has Southern Exposure; of course, you can change that by just spinning this Puppy around a touch.
Posted by: ecrowe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/25/09 07:26 PM

I thought this was hilarious! My husband actually has a fear of clowns smile

"This seller has collected some paper clowns and clown paintings, but all are happy, and understated, none are scary. Some prospects are disturbed by clowns, but it should not be a problem."
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/25/09 08:08 PM

Uh....two comments:

1. I clearly see the entrance to the underground garage (look real careful and you'll see it too - hint it takes some imagination); and

2. Was Tom's client the lucky bidder on the Unibomber "cabin" or related in some way??
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/25/09 09:03 PM

Quote:
it must be for one of those little hybrid bi-sexual cars


WTF is a bi-sexual car? Does it have a tail pipe in the front AND rear?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/26/09 07:02 AM

Originally Posted By: Ryan
WTF is a bi-sexual car? Does it have a tail pipe in the front AND rear?

For Ryan: I always thought that was just some kind of car that could be driven by either a Man or a Woman. I see them on the road up here all the time . . . . not that it's any of my business.

All's I know is that when I do see one of these hybrid cars, without fail, there always seems to be some sort of Homosapien behind the wheel. I think they can go both ways, forwards or reverse; but never both ways at the same time . . . . that would be quite a sight!

Maybe I should'a said a Teeney-Tiny Hybrid Bi-Axial Car ? Pronunciation is always key.

For CanDo: Old Tom sold off that place on August 7th. I didn't want to jinx his deal (CASH) by poking fun while it was still in the Cooker; but now it's Closed. It was up there in Mud Hollow. I've sold other property up there in Mud Hollow - they're mostly good people . . . . but some of the Folks are a mite ornery. And you never can tell which ones, so you hafta treat them all real careful-like, with Kid Gloves. I always let them give the Buyers a "once-over" before we talk about any P&S.

I don't rightly know if it was the Architectural Appeal or the 16.52 Acres that came along with it. It could be that they're goona build one of those McMansions right there in Mud Hollow . . . . with a Gate. It was bound to happen, sooner or later.

Silly, isn't it? "If you need a Gate to keep us Folks out . . . . Why'd you move up here anyway? Or is that Gate to keep you in?" Just thinkin.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/26/09 11:15 AM

Saw this on a comp today. Year built 1
I wonder if it has the original roof.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/26/09 04:35 PM

i wrote on a bpo that the market for horse properties was stable.
Posted by: Brainerd

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/26/09 07:12 PM

@Vermont - Is the luxurious picnic table included?

Is that a cabin or an outhouse? At first glance I assumed it was an outhouse but now I'm not so sure.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/26/09 07:23 PM

I'm afraid that was the entire facility, all 96 GLAAG of it (8' X 12'). No reference to a Bathroom, so it must of been BYO. Wasn't my Listing. so I wouldn't want to engage in any "Puffing".

I'm so afraid that it will be by the time of my next visit to Mud Hollow. It was sold already 8/7/09 . . . . $27,000 CASH.
Posted by: BpoBill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/18/09 05:56 PM

AGENT REMARKS: This is NOT a bake owned HOME Show and Sell

PUBLIC REMARKS: WOW Move right into this very Clean Clean Brick Ranch. Huge Kitchen custon built kitchen. Valted ceilings. Fireplace. Build in appliences. Full Basement. Attached Garage. MUST SEE!!!!!

This search on this site sucks. I had to go back 10 pages just to find this thread. It couldn't find any threads with the word stupid in the topic.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/18/09 06:37 PM

did you try

"stupid mls"

quotes help
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/09 03:28 PM

Found this one today:

"Home is believed to be one of the original homesteaders of Indiahoma. There is a finish bedroom upstairs, but across was taken out years ago."

Think someone confused an inanimate object (a homestead) w/a human being (a homesteader). And I don't know what we're finishing in that upstairs bedroom, but that probably should read "access" instead of "across".
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/09 07:05 PM

Is Indiahoma a real place, kind of like Texarkana? Or Virgilina?
Posted by: ....J~

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/22/09 05:56 PM

So I know this is for stupid MLS comments but I saw this and thought I'd cut time out of my day to post it. It came over under 'Negative features for property condition'

'There is a power line is near one block to the subject.'

Under positive features there was the answer of

'Very close to all utilities.'

Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this?

J~
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/22/09 07:07 PM

Yeh, Indiahoma is a real town on the west side of Lawton, a little before you get to Gotebo. Bwhahaha! I had to learn to talk all over again when I moved to Oklahoma.
Posted by: coloradoreo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/24/09 04:15 AM

My fav was under exclusions, "Dead body in basement." Oh, Creed you nasty.
Posted by: coloradoreo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/24/09 04:17 AM

My fav was under exclusions, "Dead body in basement." Oh, Creed you nasty.
Posted by: KeepItReal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/03/09 01:19 PM

I'm starting to worry about myself... I understood most of this! LOL

"thi is a short sale listing price is not Guaranteed.this older home is very nice good condision closet to school was ri have about 2 years with new kitchen spot lights. short sale commission is suject to lenders Aprubal."
Posted by: Barbara Dow

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/04/09 11:34 AM

Any takers...

"Home is a good first time buyers hoe."
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/08/09 09:29 PM

This is not stupid and not a comment, but it seems to fit in this category anyway. MLS listing has a front view picture that shows the agent, sheriff, and crew going to do the eviction.

Here is a link to the pic.

http://cvrmls.mlxtempo.com/5.0.08.4151/Tools/MultiImageViewer/FullImageView.asp?imageurl=http%3A//cvrmls.mlxtempo.com/CVRImages/14/2910734_101_12.jpg&imagedesc=Exterior%20Front
Posted by: MontyC21

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/09 06:44 AM

I don't know if I find that funny or sad.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/09 08:00 AM

Hopefully it was found to be empty.
Posted by: Kevin Curtis

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/09 09:21 AM

Originally Posted By: MontyC21
I don't know if I find that funny or sad.


Well said!
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/09 10:39 AM

my beef at the moment: a experienced REO agent who lists with the wrong mls area. You call for an appt for an interior and they say " there are no comps, you have to go outside of the complex" um... well, if you did your research, put in the right name of the subdivision and mls area you find 40 comps. geez... bozo. happens many times...
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/09 12:35 PM

Good caption for eviction process photo: Secure area and immediate occupancy available.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/12/09 06:01 AM

This is on a property that has been on the market for 886 days.
It was listed May 14, of 2007. In all fairness they have dropped the price 12.5% since it was listed.

"Hurry, won't last. Beautiful Condition! Priced to Sell Quickly! Possible Lease Option! Owner Financing Available! As is with Wright to inspect"
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/12/09 08:31 AM

Maybe "Wright" has been too busy to schedule an inspection in the past 886 days?
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/12/09 09:27 AM

Quote:
Maybe "Wright" has been too busy to schedule an inspection in the past 886 days?


Very Clever.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/13/09 05:00 AM

I dunno. There's 2 Wright Brothers. You'd think one of them would be available
Posted by: spoonman

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/13/09 08:49 AM

Wow. I'm super new here, but I like this forum...
Posted by: spoonman

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/13/09 09:08 AM

Wow...I'm new here, but I like this forum already...
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/19/09 03:57 PM

my contribution du jour:

"Warm and inviting home with plantain shutters,laminated floors and tile throughout."
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/19/09 04:15 PM

Perhaps it is laminated tile?
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/19/09 04:20 PM

Shutters made from banana skins?
Posted by: Gman

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/19/09 06:06 PM

I just read two new ones over the past couple of days.
"Bone Fide direct lender"

My personal favorite was "No one is in your rear"
I think they meant no houses behind you.
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/19/09 06:40 PM

Quote:

My personal favorite was "No one is in your rear"


I dunno. Looks like a discriminatory listing to me. Those with something up their rear need not present offers.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/21/09 08:31 AM

OK - this is not a stupid comment in the MLS - but the reverse - It is an MLS comment to stop buyer's agents from making stupid comments - BRILLANT - by the way - it didn't sell.

"Sure I'm not blind and neither is the seller. The place needs work and we know it. Use your keen sense of the obvious and and write the deal."

Huh - sounds like maybe he got some negative feedback on the listing - I bet his phone stopped ringing with the stupid comments though.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/23/09 09:48 PM

One redeeming Feature - A REALLY GOOD STRONG CHIMNEY !



But don't expect it to carry more than its own share of the load.

Please take note of the Colour-Coordinated Shuttas too !

Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/23/09 09:51 PM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
One redeeming Feature - A REALLY GOOD CHIMNEY !



picture did not come out. copied and pasted and could not find it. please repost
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/09 01:14 PM

Doin, unless things have changed recently, you can't copy and paste a pic to this site. If you go to the help section, it will tell you how it's done. Basically, you have to have the photos posted online somewhere else and then link to it.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/09 03:20 PM

Originally Posted By: neudot
Doin, unless things have changed recently, you can't copy and paste a pic to this site. If you go to the help section, it will tell you how it's done. Basically, you have to have the photos posted online somewhere else and then link to it.

I think Doin caught me while I was in the midst of tryin' to edit that image last night. It took a little bit to get it all fixed up. I wouldn't ever leave the thread until it was done up all proper like.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/09 07:43 PM

I just saw a short sale listing that said "NO FHA OFFERS PLEASE" I think that may be against the law. Anyone have an opinion on that?
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/09 08:52 PM

I am not a lawyer, but why would it be against the law? Aren't sellers still aloud to choose whom they sell to based on financing?
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/09 09:04 PM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
Originally Posted By: neudot
Doin, unless things have changed recently, you can't copy and paste a pic to this site. If you go to the help section, it will tell you how it's done. Basically, you have to have the photos posted online somewhere else and then link to it.

I think Doin caught me while I was in the midst of tryin' to edit that image last night. It took a little bit to get it all fixed up. I wouldn't ever leave the thread until it was done up all proper like.


I think this is so. I can see clearly now. And thanks. What Neudot said though.. I have been pining to become a master of this technique. What I meant to say was I had copied and posted the LINK in my web browser and still could not see the image. I want to learn the ways of the force and become a Jedi knight like...Ah, I just want to get a real avatar.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/09 09:13 PM

Originally Posted By: Grampa
I just saw a short sale listing that said "NO FHA OFFERS PLEASE" I think that may be against the law. Anyone have an opinion on that?


I believe the agent is really stating "This property will not qualify for a standard FHA loan, due to current condition of property. An FHA 203k may be considered, depending upon requirements". "No FHA offers, please" is a lazy version of what I've just posted.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/09 09:31 PM

Originally Posted By: CandyMan
Originally Posted By: Grampa
I just saw a short sale listing that said "NO FHA OFFERS PLEASE" I think that may be against the law. Anyone have an opinion on that?


I believe the agent is really stating "This property will not qualify for a standard FHA loan, due to current condition of property. An FHA 203k may be considered, depending upon requirements". "No FHA offers, please" is a lazy version of what I've just posted.


That is a very likely situation. Good catch. Is it permissable for a seller to say NO to an offer based on financing though? I believe it is.
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/25/09 07:34 PM

Quote:
"NO FHA OFFERS PLEASE" I think that may be against the law.


I may be wrong, but forms of financing may be discriminated against without legal challenge. The listing didn't say "no old people, families with children, handicaps, or gays should submit offers using FHA financing". If someone wants to sell their house under strict terms (cash, lease-option, contract for deed, etc) there is no law that I know of preventing them from doing so and marketing those details.
Posted by: BpoBill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/25/09 07:45 PM

I've put no fha offers in my listings that wont qualify. The seller wont consider them so why waste everyones time?
Posted by: New Jersey Realtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/25/09 07:51 PM

Our office had a seller who refused an offer because it was FHA financing. After a dozen calls to various federal agencies we were informed by all that it is perfectly legal for a homeowner to reject an offer because it's FHA financing.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/25/09 08:56 PM

Thanks Jersey.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/26/09 03:47 PM

"thank you for your curtsey"
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/26/09 04:21 PM

sunk in living room
Posted by: PhoenixRE

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/26/09 11:14 PM

Just found this one. It's a property in a planned subdivision, not something out in the boonies. It's just a couple of turns from a major street.

Directions: Use Mapquest/difficult to find



A few weeks ago I had one that said "Go to XYZ street and use your GPS from here". Well, what if I don't have a GPS? Not to mention that she had the property listed as "No pool". How can you miss a pool? That was a $ 40,000 pool.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 11:49 AM

Maybe I'm the one who's stupid; but I just saw "Quartz Countertops". I've never encountered them, and thought maybe this is a newer more expensive replacement for those cheap old Granite Countertops.
Posted by: ....J~

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 12:45 PM

Here you go vermont:

'Quartz countertops are the new worry-free alternative to high-maintenance granite. They are stronger than granite, require no resealing, are highly resistant to scratches and stains, and come in a huge variety of colors. '

J~
Posted by: REODayton

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 12:56 PM

I saw one yesterday that make me chuckle. This was the entire description on a 699K house (which in my area is darn near a mansion):

"Master Bath has tub. Updates are to numerous to mention."

I was at least hoping to see a pic of the tub since it was mentioned but it only had a pic of the front of the house.

I think I would have have simply said " Words cannot describe this house."
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 12:56 PM

broker comments: please remove your sunglasses, Charlie the hyper yorkie will not stop barking until you do.

yes, this was on a listing.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 01:02 PM

Originally Posted By: MSVJ~
"'Quartz countertops are the new worry-free alternative to high-maintenance granite."J~
Well then, that's what I've been missin'. I desperately want to stop this chronic worrying about my Countertops. That consternation has been right up there with Global Warming; Disappearing Honey Bees; Acid Rain; Famine; Terrorism; Destruction of the Dollar's value as the Median of Exchange; Bad Grammar; H1N1; and our sluggish Real Estate Market Conditions. If only I can finally stop worrying about my CounterTops, the World will be a much happier place for me. Thank you!
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 01:14 PM

Lot Size: N/A

Oh, really?!? Is that house hovering above ground, or what?

I've seen this 3 times this week - it drives me buggy, and I can't believe our MLS gals are letting this go through. They normally send listings back if the lot size is not posted. "Irreg" doesn't cut it any more either.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 05:42 PM

^^ good rant

i would be grateful if more agents knew that attached means attached to another house and detached means it's standing alone, all by itself.
Posted by: Tonya D

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 07:46 PM

Originally Posted By: Artiste
^^ good rant

i would be grateful if more agents knew that attached means attached to another house and detached means it's standing alone, all by itself.



Ugh, I asked another agent in my office when I started and she said that it meant attached or detached garage. And she also questioned why they asked it twice!!! I just kept quiet when she tried to argue with me about what it meant. whistle
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 07:58 PM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
Maybe I'm the one who's stupid; but I just saw "Quartz Countertops". I've never encountered them, and thought maybe this is a newer more expensive replacement for those cheap old Granite Countertops.


I never actually saw the appeal of granite. Why invite radon into your home (radon is not so much of an issue in California) if you already have it??? Why increase the risk?

As to quartz, Home Depot, did and may still, offer semi-precious counter tops. Lapis, amethyst (my personal favorite!!!), malachite, etc. However, the samples look they scratched pretty easily, anything though to get away from Gel Gloss!!!
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 08:41 PM

Originally Posted By: Artiste
^^ good rant

i would be grateful if more agents knew that attached means attached to another house and detached means it's standing alone, all by itself.



Another rant.......When listing indicates subject has a pool...how about what kind and possible condition?......above ground has no value, for starters........90% of these comps will state nothing but pool...no pictures, nada.....Come on folks....this is a $10,000 adjustment. My new rule is......no picture, no comments, no type, equals no pool.....period. And, I comment accordingly.....
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/09 08:50 PM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
Originally Posted By: MSVJ~
"'Quartz countertops are the new worry-free alternative to high-maintenance granite."J~
Well then, that's what I've been missin'. I desperately want to stop this chronic worrying about my Countertops. That consternation has been right up there with Global Warming; Disappearing Honey Bees; Acid Rain; Famine; Terrorism; Destruction of the Dollar's value as the Median of Exchange; Bad Grammar; H1N1; and our sluggish Real Estate Market Conditions. If only I can finally stop worrying about my CounterTops, the World will be a much happier place for me. Thank you!


Funny as snot-I refuse to do LOL
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/19/09 10:37 AM

New wood parkay floor in entry.

Hmm, gonna slip slide on that fake butter all the way to the kitchen, I guess.

From dictionary.com:
parquet: a floor composed of short strips or blocks of wood forming a pattern, sometimes with inlays of other woods or other materials.
Posted by: charlotteNCbuyer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/09 12:38 AM

haha that's a good one!
Posted by: Tonya D

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/09 07:18 PM

"SALE PACKAGE READY TO GO...JUST NEED AN OFFER!"


Wow.. Im so glad that was cleared up!!
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/09 07:35 PM

Quote:
New wood parkay floor in entry.


Please tell me they had one of those "this house talks to you" ads that allows you to tune into a local FM station to hear the listing details.

I'm gonna need therapy to get that old commercial of a container of margarine singing "parkaaaayyyy" out of my head.
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/09 08:22 PM

"privet financing..." I could be wrong, but I don't think so. I've heard that the color of money is green, but I think that a privet offering financing is just a bit much!

Could it be that private financing might be possible? We may never know.
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/09 08:49 PM

"Privet financing" is when you borrow from a hedge fund.
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/09 09:52 PM

*slaps forehead* Of course! wink
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/09 10:32 PM

Originally Posted By: DueDiligence
"Privet financing" is when you borrow from a hedge fund.


DD.

9.5, 9.6, 9.4, 9.8, 9.9.

Wish I had thought of it.
Posted by: Nivea

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/30/09 10:50 AM

Here's one :)

"Neither short sale nor bank own real sale response time 24 hours. There is phtolab possible 4th bathroom. Fully upgraded house like Skylight, Granite counter top, maple cabinets, Dual fire place, Jakugi etc never end by counting."

"Jakugi"?? LMAO
I'm still crakin up over here!
no..wait "never end by counting"??
oh man...I can't breathe!
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/02/09 04:55 AM

How about this one on a short sale lisitng --
"Beatiful creekside property with inground pool. needs some updating ie kitchens and baths. short sale deal gives you the room for your chosen improvmrents and you still capture tens of thousands of equity dollars"
That's the public remarks.

The only thing in Agent Remarks is "Short Sale"
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/02/09 06:46 AM

I just saw this on a sold. short-sale.

remodeled unit, new granite kitchen, ss appliances, new bamboo floors, needs work. great price.
Posted by: TexasAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/02/09 01:45 PM

I was suprised one day as I was showing some client pictures on MLS. One house had a picture of two dogs humping in front of the home. Were they selling puppies or the house?
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/02/09 06:51 PM

Quote:
One house had a picture of two dogs humping in front of the home.


Maybe the MLS prevented the LA from saying, "You'll be screwed if you buy this house". A picture is worth a thousand words.
Posted by: NOVA REO Guy

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/03/09 02:05 PM

Here's one from a home I will show tomorow .... maybe I need to stop by the musc store first:

""Drum Roll Please! The center spotlight proudly shines on this smashing colonial sitting..... "

and by the way, it is on the market for 93 days - maybe it's good to be out f the spotlight:-)
Posted by: Saylor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/04/09 03:51 PM

More funny than stupid.

Direstions: "East xxx becomes West xxx. Drive until you think you are lost and left on yyy"
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/06/09 08:29 PM

Just saw this on a comp.
Not a short sale or bank owned. Nothing goofy like that.
Posted by: CanDo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/12/09 05:53 PM

Originally Posted By: CanDo
"privet financing..." I could be wrong, but I don't think so. I've heard that the color of money is green, but I think that a privet offering financing is just a bit much!

Could it be that private financing might be possible? We may never know.


As DD previously pointed out, hedge fund; however, from the same agent, different listing:

"On demand water heater for hole house....Master is set up with walk in closet and privet bath."

For the love of all that is good, learn to spell. Whole and hole have two entirely different meanings!!! I do suppose we could all use a privet bath. Although, I'm pretty sure that using the hedge is frowned up.

The sad thing is I know this agent. She's a real go-getter, it's unfortunate she doesn't take the time to proof or ask someone else to proof. That privet thing is pretty consistent.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/09 05:06 AM

Ran into this one yesterday on a comp:
"AGENTS!! ALL OFFERS MUST BE ACCOMPANIED WITH WRITTEN CMA, BROKER'S PRICE OPINION OR APPRAISAL TO SUPPORT YOUR OFFERING PRICE."

All in caps by the way

Oh by the way, 296 DOM
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/09 02:07 PM

Just saw this one.
New Gourmet Kitchen is so nice that the Lobsters jump into the pot.
Posted by: Mike Tango

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/09 03:30 PM

Come on!!!! That one was funny but I dont belive you>>>>
Posted by: Sparrow

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/09 06:04 PM

[quote=Gman]
My personal favorite was "No one is in your rear"
I think they meant no houses behind you. [/quote]

Maybe some of these agents should read their comments out loud to someone before posting, huh? Too funny!
Posted by: Sparrow

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/09 06:12 PM

[quote=CanDo][quote=Vermont]Maybe I'm the one who's stupid; but I just saw [b]"Quartz Countertops"[/b]. I've never encountered them, and thought maybe this is a newer more expensive replacement for those cheap old Granite Countertops. [/quote]

I never actually saw the appeal of granite. Why invite radon into your home (radon is not so much of an issue in California) if you already have it??? Why increase the risk?

[/quote]

Interesting about the Radon. Didn't know about it, and had to look it up. Thanks for the info!
Posted by: cjmj

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/09 07:03 PM

It makes you wonder if they use one of these cma's for their own monthly report...

Originally Posted By: PA Roadkill
Ran into this one yesterday on a comp:
"AGENTS!! ALL OFFERS MUST BE ACCOMPANIED WITH WRITTEN CMA, BROKER'S PRICE OPINION OR APPRAISAL TO SUPPORT YOUR OFFERING PRICE."

All in caps by the way

Oh by the way, 296 DOM
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/05/10 03:55 PM

"Bought for tens of thousands more just a few years ago"

Really, who would have guessed?
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/08/10 05:38 AM

"Auditor has is priced $40,000 higher then list price." REALLY??? But the neighborhood has dropped by and average of $65,000. I am just curious what agent is gonna show a property based on the auditor's value - I guess we are all missing a really easy way to price these assets - just check the auditor' value -
Posted by: ....J~

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/08/10 12:44 PM

The one that has amused me most this morning : 'I am optimistic about this properties potential! And you should be too!’

Since it is a fire damaged property, only half a roof and caution tape around the building and on the door...I guess optimistic is the only thing that could be said.

J~
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/08/10 12:44 PM

Originally Posted By: OverTheEdge
"Auditor has is priced $40,000 higher then list price." REALLY??? But the neighborhood has dropped by and average of $65,000. I am just curious what agent is gonna show a property based on the auditor's value - I guess we are all missing a really easy way to price these assets - just check the auditor' value -


Auditor?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/08/10 01:21 PM

Originally Posted By: Pine
Auditor?

Yes indeed; these are the Guys who are charged with the responsibility of doing Quality Assurance on the Assessors; probably should be "AxxAxx"
Posted by: JaxBPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/08/10 01:56 PM

My favorite was a guy in our office who put "House is boarded up, so bring a crowbar."

Needless to say, my broker didn't find it funny, and it wasn't in the comment section too long.
Posted by: bsareo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/08/10 01:59 PM

That's going too far.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 11:48 AM

Couldn't believe this one.

"Energy Efficient, has Solar/Wind cloths dryer"

There is a rope between 2 trees in the back yard.

This disappeared from comments 48 hours after listed.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 12:08 PM

My mom had a solar/wind dryer back in the 50's. She was always ahead of her time.
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 12:28 PM

Originally Posted By: Grampa
Couldn't believe this one.

"Energy Efficient, has Solar/Wind cloths dryer"

There is a rope between 2 trees in the back yard.

This disappeared from comments 48 hours after listed.


I guess seller just couldn't part with it wink
Posted by: thereoguy

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 12:30 PM

Originally Posted By: OverTheEdge
"Auditor has is priced $40,000 higher then list price." REALLY??? But the neighborhood has dropped by and average of $65,000. I am just curious what agent is gonna show a property based on the auditor's value - I guess we are all missing a really easy way to price these assets - just check the auditor' value -


I don't know about "auditor" value, but I use assessor's value often when advertising houses. Obviously we (agents) know that $50K below assessed value doesn't mean squat, but buyers still love a good deal. I have a couple of investor buyers who want us to show them every house we see that is more than $30K below assessed value. Often the perception of a good deal is just as good as an actual good deal.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 12:44 PM

The one thing I've noticed in our MLS are agents that don't know how to classify the type of structure........The latest ones have been..........2 story.....agent called it a Ranch.....another was a Ranch called an A-Frame....This gives you a good idea of why I don't have an "auto fill" program....lol
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 12:45 PM

I have heard that in certain neighborhoods, this form of solar/wind clothes dryer has been banished. I guess some folks think they are visual pollution. Too bad, because it's certainly energy efficient. You think the greenies would stand up for them.
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 01:23 PM

I've seen 2 in the past week that show Realtors are really getting creative!

"Wow! This is a Re-do Gone Wild!" ... and description that follows is minimal: "Has fresh paint & new carpet."

"Got a Glass Slipper?. . . A little TLC is all that's needed on this home for a fairy tale ending." Mmm, yeh - the fairly tale is that you'll get away for only a small amount of $$ in remodeling that one. wink
Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 04:55 PM

"This one will go quick! Call now to set up an appointment" Days on Market 278.
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/10 05:29 PM

'quick' is relative - did you look at that agent's other properties wink
Posted by: Maui

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/10 02:03 PM

LOL @ solar/wind dryer...
Posted by: Wupadupa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/10 02:59 PM

This one is a REAL FIND!!

Reo listing, with only exterior pictures on the mls.

Inside the house was completely gutted, no kitchen, no carpets, half the walls ripped out and holes everywhere.
Posted by: sacbroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/10 03:26 PM

This is the best one yet "short probate sale, 3 deaths on the property, 2 intentional, 1 accidental." WTH?
Posted by: Wupadupa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/10 03:32 PM

Originally Posted By: sacbroker
This is the best one yet "short probate sale, 3 deaths on the property, 2 intentional, 1 accidental." WTH?


hey is it still raining reos over in sac??
Posted by: sacbroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/10 03:37 PM

nope, most of them are going out the backdoor in bulk sales.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/10 04:46 PM

Originally Posted By: sacbroker
This is the best one yet "short probate sale, 3 deaths on the property, 2 intentional, 1 accidental." WTH?


We are not allowed to disclose a double homicide with suicide in our state. Used to have to and now can not.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/27/10 07:17 PM

"Living Area Disclosures: includes garage space"

Agent put in 1920sf, actual is 720.

Maybe the agent is living in the garage.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/28/10 12:32 PM

I would report that one to your local board. Probable violation depending on your state and your board. I ALWAYS use county records for Sqft even if a garage has been converted because it may have been done without a permit and could be forced to be removed. (at least in FL)
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/28/10 01:16 PM

Upon furthur review, listing agent is the owner. Garage is on separate lot. He has 2 listings, one with just the house, the other including the garage at 100K more.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/28/10 02:13 PM

Upon further review....that makes it for me. Like this was a playoff game and the agent through the red flag for a review of the listing. Good one MASS.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/28/10 06:15 PM

"Property is not a fleep"
Posted by: Cappy

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/11/10 05:41 PM

I found this entry in our MLS today.....

3 BEDROOM 2 BATH TWO CAR GARAGE VERY QUIT AREA CLOSE TO THE LAKE FRONT OF THE HOUSE BUTIFULL.

I'm guessing that "quit" = "quiet" and "butifull" is beautiful". I'm not sure if the listing agent is saying that the home is close to the "lake front" or if the front of the house is "butifull" ~ LOL!
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/11/10 06:24 PM

^^ haha
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/13/10 10:24 AM

3 from my favorite listing agent:

GREAT NEIGHBORGHOOD. QUITE STREET.

OUTSTANDING CUSTOM BUILD HOME LOCATED ON PRIVITE QUITE COURT.

HOME IN NICE AND QUITE NEIGHBORGHOOD.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/18/10 09:16 PM

WOW WOW WOW......... PET FRIENDLY............... REPEAT........... PET FRIENDLY...............2 BED, 2BATH LUXURY FOR LESS....................OPEN FLOOR PLAN.................YOU ASKED .............. WE DELIVERED.................AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY....................... USE YOUR 8K STIMULUS PACKAGE.......... RUN DON'T WALK........................EASY TO VIEW ..............CALL
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/19/10 05:59 PM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
WOW WOW WOW......... PET FRIENDLY............... REPEAT........... PET FRIENDLY...............2 BED, 2BATH LUXURY FOR LESS....................OPEN FLOOR PLAN.................YOU ASKED .............. WE DELIVERED.................AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY....................... USE YOUR 8K STIMULUS PACKAGE.......... RUN DON'T WALK........................EASY TO VIEW ..............CALL



I bet you saw that is a California MLS - and I bet we all know who wrote it.

I wonder - maybe our bud has a brother or sister in Mass ?
Posted by: JaxBPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/20/10 09:09 AM

Quiet, good looking, well proportioned 14x76 1996 SWMH seeks forever relationship with responsible buyer. Must love nature, quiet nights, serene life, and value simplicity. Offers split floor plan, large kitchen, indoor laundry. Comes with 1 plus size acre. Available now and anxious to talk to you. Convenient to Keystone and Middleburg.
Posted by: FL_Agent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/20/10 10:41 AM

Originally Posted By: JaxBPO
Quiet, good looking, well proportioned 14x76 1996 SWMH seeks forever relationship with responsible buyer. Must love nature, quiet nights, serene life, and value simplicity. Offers split floor plan, large kitchen, indoor laundry. Comes with 1 plus size acre. Available now and anxious to talk to you. Convenient to Keystone and Middleburg.
Definitely, it takes the cake. wink
Posted by: jdharpe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/23/10 10:37 PM

here is one i posted myself...

"Well folks, this one is a turd, but its cheap"

my asset manager thought it was pretty funny...
Posted by: BigRedWI

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/10 04:50 PM

Well folks, this one is a turd, but its cheap"


Now that's Diet Dew through my nose onto the keyboard kind of funny!!

Now I've got a wet keyboard and stinging nostrils.
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/10 04:53 PM

TMI ~ From a Devil's Lake fan.

Welcome
Posted by: Michly

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/10 09:28 PM

I saw one some time ago where the picture of the house was taken from the agent's car from the passenger side window. I could see the side view mirror and everything.

On another one in the picture of the kitchen, the seller must have just gone shopping as there were fresh bags loaded with groceries on the kitchen counters.

And on yet another kitchen pic, a half eaten bowl of cereal with the spoon still in it.
Posted by: MHT

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/10 10:36 PM

I emailed an agent the other day to let him know that the picture that he had in a listing was actually of a house 2 doors down.
Posted by: cleonard

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/10 11:26 PM

How about the agents reusing the photos from the prior listing. LAZY!!!
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/26/10 11:24 AM

Just saw this one

"House you can make cute/charming! Space for you to build a garage."

Sounds like "you" are gonna be pretty busy.
Posted by: MN REO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/28/10 08:26 PM

Just saw this one!

"Large Pull Barn"

Where do you suppose she thinks this barn will be pulled? I wonder how many times she's used that and no one tells her so they can secretly laugh at her!
Posted by: Mike Tango

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/01/10 09:21 PM

What is this????

eat off the floors in both units.

Gosh!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/10 09:37 PM

Mmmm. I 'm hungry (my words)


LONG , LUSCIOUS, DELECTABLE AND DELICIOUS RANCH. Your place in the "fun. " Gently enjoyed by the original owner as a vacation/play home. There is a "hidden" cedar/storage closet area on the 2nd level, don't miss it.

If you don't want to check out the link it is a picture of the home which is a cape cod style home with a 2nd floor, as evidenced by the comments (also indicating it is a ranch). The agent is an gung ho thesaurus user. The write up sounds like a Ruby Tuesday menu item. BTW this agent's business card opens up and has a finger print on it.

http://rein.mlxchange.com/vabimages/177/0932017_101_12.jpg
Posted by: BoneFish

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/10 09:55 PM

well

LONG , LUSCIOUS, DELECTABLE AND DELICIOUS CAPE COD


does have better ring to it smile
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/10 10:03 PM

Righto.

I was thinking Glazed, Honey baked, Cracker Bread Crust, might help too.

That's it, I am getting a snack.

Don't forget about this part....Your place in the "fun. "

If it is so great, should it not be..."The Fun." ? the "fun. " seems so, je nais se quoi, boring.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/10 12:45 PM

I've a three-fer.

1) You'll love the big addiction outback.

2)A listing on Licking Creek Dr. offers this guidence in locating it. Courthouse Road to Belmont Road to right on Licking Creek Drive - 1st house on left.

2a) I previously posted on a Lickinghole Road. This is in a different county

3) Not a comment but a cool name--Screamersville, Virginia
Posted by: Highest&Best

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/10 08:08 PM

IMMACUILATE ELEGANT TWO STORY ENTRANCE BOTH FORMALS ISLAND KITCHEN KOREAN COUNTER TOP UPGRADED CABINETS CERAMIC TILES GREAT FLOOR PLAN WITH MASTER DOWN GAME ROOM UP

I hope Korean countertops are better than Chinese drywall.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/10 09:03 PM

Originally Posted By: Highest&Best
KOREAN COUNTER TOP UPGRADED
I hope Korean countertops are better than Chinese drywall.


That might be a violation of Fair housing Law. confused Har Har
Posted by: Wealth Realty

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/11/10 11:53 AM

gotta love this thread....lmao
Posted by: Sparrow

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/10 02:57 AM

[quote=sacbroker]This is the best one yet "short probate sale, 3 deaths on the property, 2 intentional, 1 accidental." WTH? [/quote]

Wow, that sounds like it could of been in the neighborhood I just did a bpo for, not a place I want to stick around for long!
Posted by: Maui

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/10 03:05 AM

LOL, one of the best threads I have read on any real estate forum. keep the coming!
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/10 11:26 AM

"There was a recent pipe at the property which has been repaired."
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/10 12:00 PM

"YOU WANT TO BUY RIGHT ,CALL ME. FROM CREDIT REPAIR, LENDING, LOAN AUDITING AND MUCH MORE. THANK YOU LORD AND THANK YOU CALIFORNIA! AGENTS, FIND YOU HOW TO GET 110% SPLIT COMMISSION SO EASY IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!"
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/10 02:16 PM

Looks like Gov. Arnold got his real estate license.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/12/10 02:29 PM

Originally Posted By: Artiste
"YOU WANT TO BUY RIGHT ,CALL ME. FROM CREDIT REPAIR, LENDING, LOAN AUDITING AND MUCH MORE. THANK YOU LORD AND THANK YOU CALIFORNIA! AGENTS, FIND YOU HOW TO GET 110% SPLIT COMMISSION SO EASY IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!"


Our MLS would fine the agent for that. Our DBPR might have an issue with their license as well.
Posted by: thereoguy

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/13/10 04:45 PM

"PRICE DEDUCED ON BEAUTIFULY RENOVATED SPACIOUS HM"

Only one letter off, but gave me a laugh none the less.
Posted by: jdharpe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/14/10 11:43 PM

"Spot for a mimi bar downstairs"
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/15/10 05:23 AM

I remember Mimi from the Drew Carey show. She could hold a lot of liquor
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/17/10 04:54 AM

Just got an REO assigned. Looked up the prior MLS and it read
"PROPERTY WAS ILLEGALLY FORECLOSED".

I call the agent and suggest she might want to reconsider that so she changed it to
"PROPERTY WAS FORECLOSED WITHOUT PROPER NOTIFICATION TO OWNER".

I sent a copy to the AM to forward to their legal dept.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/10 11:06 AM

WOW!!! I can't stop laughing. Did she really think there was a whole lot of difference in those two sentences? Who would put that in the mls? Please tell me she was related to the former owner and couldn't stop herself.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/10 03:54 PM

Don't know about related but I think she was in negotiations to double side the short sale. It was only in for 15 days and went to Trustee Sale. She claims the owner is getting an attorney to fight it. Should be fun.
Posted by: PhoenixRE

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/26/10 04:14 PM

I am coming across this a lot lately:

"Owner owned sale" Really? Is there anyone else who can own the property other than the owner.

or

"Real seller is selling this property". As opposed to a fake seller?

OY VEY!!!
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/26/10 06:28 PM

I know many of you have read about the "walking closet". It still shows up every now and then. I read this one last week, remodeled master bath with bridgette....go figure!
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/26/10 06:56 PM

Ron White has a bit in one of his shows about a bidet. Too Funny. He seems to like "Cake".
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/26/10 09:05 PM

Grampa, I can watch Ron White over and over. I have loved stand up comedians since I was a little boy. My favs were Cosby and Steve Martin. Ron is a bit more gritty for the young ones, but he gets me laughing.
Posted by: TB in TX

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/28/10 09:58 PM

"2 hour notice - need to get 2 dogs below appraisal."
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/15/10 07:21 PM

Just 2 words for this home : GOR-GEOUS
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/04/10 10:33 PM

"Taxes based on larger partical of land to be survey by owner. Creek run through land also canel. Agulture. Home owner is also. Seller-Licensed realestate Agent"
Punctuation and spelling verbatim.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/14/10 08:15 PM

Smoke detector replaced 9 months ago.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/16/10 02:33 PM

Assc. Fee: $99999
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/16/10 02:43 PM

seller is a friend of the listing agent
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/17/10 01:24 PM

Originally Posted By: patriots62
seller is a friend of the listing agent


Why is that stupid? Sounds like an astute agent.
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/17/10 01:46 PM

I think it's fuuny. I am friendly with my sellers as well, do I put that on the listing???
Posted by: Don Price (Pine)

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/17/10 01:52 PM

Originally Posted By: patriots62
I think it's fuuny. I am friendly with my sellers as well, do I put that on the listing???


I would do whatever it is that your real estate commission guides you to do.
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/17/10 03:16 PM

I think we should list, listing agent thinks the seller is an idiot and the property is grossly overpriced. lol.
Posted by: OkieDokie

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/18/10 11:51 PM

"Perfection at its best"
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/19/10 09:39 AM

ABOVE GROUND BASEMENT

symmetrical rooms (NOT STUPID REALLY, JUST A BIT UNUSUAL-I WONDER ARE THE SWITCHES AND PLUGS SYMMETRICAL TOO)
Posted by: crenshaw

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/21/10 03:02 PM

"FORECLOSE, WOW! LOOSE YOUR LANDLAND!"

Is a landland a landlord and is he tied up in the basement somewhere?
Posted by: Mike Tango

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/21/10 05:45 PM

I received an email from an agent on my local MLS that asked my What is an arm's lenght and he quote... is the owner a NBA player???? I was laughing like 10 minutes.
Posted by: PMR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/21/10 06:08 PM

[quote=CALIF DREAMING]I know many of you have read about the "walking closet". It still shows up every now and then. I read this one last week, remodeled master bath with bridgette....go figure! [/quote]

Another malapropism that I often see: "moving condition."

I suppose if they're referring to a mobile home, it might not be so funny to see it as a comment.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/21/10 08:48 PM

I've seen listings featuring "sunk in" living rooms twice now.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/01/10 07:36 PM

"Harry!!! Will not last"
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/01/10 10:18 PM

I love this thread. My sides hurt for a hour every time I read through the latest posts on this thread.
Posted by: MrDRC

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/10 06:29 PM

"this is being done as a preposed constructions"
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/10 11:53 AM

"Please make sure to leave your card and Thank you for showing. Please, Please Be Aware of "DOG" sometimes in premises. We do not know about owners whereabouts."

gonna be a tough sell...
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/10 11:59 AM

or how 'bout this little gem:

"SHORT SALE APPROVED 7/01/09 FOR $130,000.00 call for detalles and commission !!!!"
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/10 01:31 PM

Originally Posted By: SB Cardinal
"Please make sure to leave your card and Thank you for showing. Please, Please Be Aware of "DOG" sometimes in premises. We do not know about owners whereabouts."

gonna be a tough sell...


LOL...maybe the dog ate the owners. Now the dog comes and goes as it pleases.
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/04/10 01:48 PM

Sorta made me wonder if it's the dog owner or the home owner that's unaccounted for. Potential selling agents should check and see if the dog will be signing all contracts and disclosures.
Posted by: LND

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/14/10 11:05 PM

SB Cardinal - I see that approved SS price listed ALL THE TIME.

Check this golden nugget out...(be sure to read it all!:)

" This uniqu duplex has so much potential. Wet bar and playroom with pool table. High security camera in front of entrace. Speciaous back yard with barbecue pit and near by Emerryville shopping center. It wont last long!! Don't sleep this wonderful duplex!!! ll access to the large unit to view smaller unit must write offer subject to. Pre- escorw to be First American Title & escrow # 3354686 You can rech listing agent......"


How many errors did you catch? I have 11.
Posted by: Bobbing4REOs

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/16/10 07:40 AM

Caption on photo with view to front reads:

"A pastoral view of Historic Oakland Cemetary out the bedroom window. What quiet and peaceful neighbors."

HA!!!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/16/10 11:48 PM

Year Built: 3195
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/17/10 01:12 AM

I got light headed and lost count. I get that not everyone is a spelling bee champ, but seriously... if you can't at least find the spell check button you should be forbidden to put stuff in the MLS. Proper conveyance of the written word is all in the "detalles"
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/24/10 08:32 PM

Piece of land in a shady part of town with no resale potential. Realtor comments:

Quote:
Call List Agent for Showing Instructions


My first thought was to paraphrase the SNL skit with Justin Timberlake and Andy Sandberg "Junk in the Box"...

Step 1 - Put your body in the car.
Step 2 - Push the gas pedal on that car.
Step 3 - Put your foot on the brake to stop at the property.
Step 4 - Look at the property!

For anyone who doesn't get the humor, here's the skit:

Junk in the Box
Posted by: realpam

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/24/10 10:31 PM

there is a wisk in it somewhere
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/25/10 03:54 PM

Written like she had a headache: "I am almost always home. No showings after 4:30 PM. Seller is not well. Seller is the listing agent. A Broker with the State of California."
Posted by: REOSWFL

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/27/10 11:06 PM

Saw this one today while doing BPO:

"New Home", that was it, two lousy words!

Somewhat understandable, but the house was built in 2006
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/28/10 12:26 AM

We are getting quite a few builder foreclosures and investor foreclosures built in '06 and newer that have never been lived in.
Posted by: cinloo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/28/10 08:12 PM

Condition: poor

Comments: total remodel, everything new! New flooring, A/C, fixtures, windows & doors, paint, plumbing, roof, fence and more. Must see to believe and shows like a new home.
Posted by: HogCallBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/29/10 01:12 PM

Saw this today in our agent to agent remarks

"3.25% to Buyer's agency...MODEL HOME OPEN DAILY. UNDER CONTRACT WITH KICK-OUT CLAWS"
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/01/10 09:00 PM

I had to read this one twice......

"Owner has a tame dog and a lame cat".......Not a cat lover, maybe?.....lol
Posted by: Bobbing4REOs

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/02/10 01:43 PM

This is more of a stupid BPO QA request. But, I thought you guys would still find it re-DONK-u-lous:



The BPO is heavily commented, as one would imagine, including a recommendation for a mold inspection due to recent flood damage. It also includes about 29 other pics pretty similar to this one, showing that the property has been completely gutted.


QA kicks it back acknowledging that I call the property inhabitable, but I need to add a paragraph stating WHY I think the property is inhabitable.

Really?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/02/10 08:11 PM

Originally Posted By: dab4real
QA kicks it back acknowledging that I call the property inhabitable, but I need to add a paragraph stating WHY I think the property is inhabitable.

Maybe you meant to say "un-inhabitable" ? That would make a big difference.

Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/03/10 01:22 PM

Originally Posted By: HogCallBroker
MODEL HOME OPEN DAILY. UNDER CONTRACT WITH KICK-OUT CLAWS"


Man, must be one big kitty cat living in that house! . . . a guard cat - if kitty doesn't like you when you walk in that open house, you're outta there dude!
Posted by: Agent 007

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/03/10 06:05 PM

Originally Posted By: barb43
Originally Posted By: HogCallBroker
MODEL HOME OPEN DAILY. UNDER CONTRACT WITH KICK-OUT CLAWS"


Man, must be one big kitty cat living in that house! . . . a guard cat - if kitty doesn't like you when you walk in that open house, you're outta there dude!


LMAO! I was thinking something similar myself...that's funny! laugh
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/04/10 08:20 AM

Seller want it sold. 2006 Build House. Good antelope property. Nice 4/3/2 Cars. Bring us an Offer before it gone. Good for First time home owner (do 1st timers begin with 2,200sqft McMansions?) or starter on new life. Your Family will like it. It is the right time to buy now.

Confidntial Agt Rmks: This property are subject to Lender short sale approval of the selling price and commission. Property are the sister lived there tempolary for the next 60 days. Go straight to show any time. Thank you for showing.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/04/10 10:08 AM

Wow! I are speechless about for read those comments. Thanks about sharing comments.
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/04/10 11:57 PM

Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose
Wow! I are speechless about for read those comments. Thanks about sharing comments.


LMAO I'm laughing so hard I'm about to pee my pants!
Posted by: ElkGrovePro

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/05/10 01:17 PM

Kitty's claws has me ROFLMBO!!!!!!! Thank you!
Posted by: Bobbing4REOs

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/10 09:08 AM

duh...I was so ticked I typed it wrong here.

But for sure I reported that the property could not be occupied in its current state!

Thanks for catching that smile
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/10 10:35 AM

Cash offers only due to condition. Lender owned property, all accepted offers must include a Bank of America Home Loans pre-qual letter
Posted by: Bunny

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/10 12:16 PM

How about this one:"Restored Victoria house, original clown foot bath tubs, gorgeous wood work".
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/10 12:19 PM

I wonder if they are big and red.
Posted by: Bunny

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/10 12:51 PM

I think so. I laughted so hard when trying to picture those bathtubs. This one made my day :-))
Posted by: Bunny

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/10 12:56 PM

While working on my next BPO, I found another good one, you guys must read it:" Jack and Jill bath keeps both kids happy! 3 car garage bring all your toys! Stay green this yard has a sprinklers system. Become your Buyer's Hero, Show them this Gem!!"

What are kids doing in this bathroom to be happy? Hmmm...
Posted by: REO driven

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/10 06:03 PM

Bunny

Kids are maken poo unless they are teenage boys with door locked
Posted by: Bunny

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/10 06:26 PM

Ha-ha, that's very funny!
Posted by: IndyDawn

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/08/10 03:12 PM

There should be someone in the office checking that stuff. It does reflect on the company they work for right?
Posted by: agenttraining

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/08/10 03:16 PM

Yes there always are. That is actually why I really like the San Diego MLS Search that I use becuase it does not display all of the condifential remarks that the agents leave, making it nicer for my clients.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/11/10 12:02 PM

"Nive Family Home only 19 yeasr old; 2 stories; great schoold; Lacated in a great neighborhood."
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/12/10 05:31 PM

"May be taken off the market, do not bother owner" and that's all it says.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/13/10 02:50 PM

and a one car garage with attached "man town"

Not my quotations.
Posted by: Ellen45

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/13/10 02:52 PM

Ok, I think I've finally seen THE stupidest.

"Short sale, agent has already submitted own offer to bank, no other offers will be submitted."

Sounds like a good way to lose your license.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/13/10 03:25 PM

Well, Well, Well
Agent's Remarks section: "showing by appointment only. Do not disturb owners please. I will give you a password so you can have an appointment to see the property. Call 310 xxx xxxx direct (DO NOT CALL OUR OFFICE, AGENT DOES NOT WORK FROM OFFICE) All offers must be emailed to xxxxx. No Faxes please. All offers must be presented with a copy of the EMD, POF, Ficcos, pre-qual. All agents know shortsales are frustrating, no attitudes please.

giving her a B for the please(s).
Posted by: ....J~

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/21/10 08:41 AM

'IT HAS A GUESS HOUSE IN THE BACK, UP TO BUYER CHECK IF PERMITTED.'


Maybe thats why it's a 'guess house' because it's anyones guess if it has permits.

J~
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/22/10 08:54 PM

"(Quick Reply most times)"

I think that's refreshingly honest.
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/23/10 05:38 AM

Formal livingroom and diningroom.
Masterbedroom have retreat with chimeney and balcony.
Big kitchen with a great room, walking pantry.
Separate laundryroom with parachute.

Just come back active to the market! The lender is ready to make their desition.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I think the lack of spaces between words is to be able to cram as much in the description as possible.
I have to give the agent kudos though, at least she gave a description. Better than nothing at all
or "nice house", like I see on a lot of listings!

I've never seen a laundry room with a parachute!
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/23/10 05:48 PM

HOUSE HAS BEED COMPLETED REMOVELED. YOU NEE TO SEE IT.


Hmm, has the house been removed due to bees or remodeled?
Posted by: ....J~

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/24/10 02:56 AM

Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this?

'New plumbing and electrical in 1986' (On a house that was built in 1996)

J~
Posted by: ech0es

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/28/10 03:40 AM

Originally Posted By: ....J~
Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this?

'New plumbing and electrical in 1986' (On a house that was built in 1996)

J~



Maybe the 1986 was a typo and the person wanted to say 1996 ...

No matter how you put it ... if the house was built in '96 and no upgrades were done to the property that have been disclosed either on the MLS or by interview of the listing agent, then the plumbing and electrical are original to the improvement and are not considered to be new ... Since 1996 lots of building codes have changed ... especially for states that are affected by hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, ice storms, heavy snow fall, and any other weather issues that actually affect the plumbing, electric and any other physical characteristics of an improvement ... too many to list here ...
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/02/10 04:58 PM

this one gave me a little chuckle this morning:

"The cooling part of the central air condition does not work"
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/02/10 11:03 PM

"large bat"

(surely was supposed to be "bath", but it struck me as funny)
Posted by: cjmj

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/03/10 12:56 AM

That's like selling a DeLorean time machine, but saying the flux capacitor part isn't working.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/03/10 01:43 PM

"NEW INTERIOR COSMETIC. COME TAKE A 2ND LOOK.Bank owned property. In need of general cosmetics."
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/05/10 09:13 AM

Knock, Knock.... Who's there?... Its Mr. Opportunity, here to tell you that Opportunity is KNOCKING.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/05/10 11:23 AM

^^ lol - not only is it bad, but wrong too because Opportunity only knocks once
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/06/10 10:21 AM

this is a great opportunity nice are really well kept property. this is a 6 year old house perfect for your fuzzy buyers. this is a must see.

(Copy/paste from MLS)
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/07/10 03:28 PM

JUST NEEDS SWEET ROCK & INSULATION only a typo, but kind of funny.

CENTRAL VACCUM IN HOUSE As opposed to external vacuum, the outdoorsy person's dream
Posted by: BpoBill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/08/10 11:45 AM

STOP KISSING YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR WITH SHORT SALES...FORGET ABOUT BANK OWNED GARBAGE!WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS UPDATED MOVE IN CONDITION WELL CARED FOR HOME...GRANITE HARDWOOD ANDERSON WINDOWS NICELY LANDSCAPED..95% FINISHED BASEMENT....YOU MUST SEE THIS HOUSE...ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS MOVE IN....

Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/09/10 10:20 AM

THIS REMARKABLE PROPERTY HAS BEEN TOTALLY RESTORED WITH ALL THE LATEST. INSIDE TO BE FINISHED BY NEW OWNER.
Posted by: LaceyF

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/10/10 02:09 PM

This one takes the cake for me....

Garage conversion and workshop may not be done with permits. MEDICAL PATIENT MARIJUNA PLANTS ARE LEGAL. Owner may consider holding a small first. Termite and inspection reports done in March 2010 and available for review.

I can just imagine taking some of my "stuffy" buyers to this property...
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/10/10 02:20 PM

"newly remolded"
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/11/10 05:34 AM

Under directions --
"please use gps system or mapquest.com to get directions"

The house is on a main street that anyone that's been in town 15 minutes can find.
Posted by: ....J~

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/11/10 05:39 AM

'Presents of Chinese Drywall has been found but not confirmed'

Do they give Chinese drywall as presents? And how can you find something and then say its not confirmed?


J~
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/11/10 08:35 PM

Originally Posted By: LaceyF
This one takes the cake for me....

Garage conversion and workshop may not be done with permits. MEDICAL PATIENT MARIJUNA PLANTS ARE LEGAL. Owner may consider holding a small first. Termite and inspection reports done in March 2010 and available for review.

I can just imagine taking some of my "stuffy" buyers to this property...


Gosh, I just hope that wasn't in the public remarks section, otherwise every pothead in town will know which house to break into to get free weed.
Posted by: LaceyF

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/12/10 01:03 PM

No Justine- that was in the private remarks. That would be funny though if it were in the public remarks!
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/14/10 06:48 AM

"Hurry and scoop this one up before the tax credit expires" Days on the market 486. I think the agent might want to update his comments.
Posted by: 2good4u

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/14/10 10:32 PM

I have seen some interesting comments in the mls from agents I must say. I do need to know if any of you have had this happen? I'm looking at the mls data and I see under roof that it states that it has a comp roof. Ok not a problem..right.. it also states it's a single story which is what my buyers are looking for...but when I look at the pictures I see it has a shake roof and is a 2 story home...what is up with this?
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/14/10 11:11 PM

Quote:
Under directions --
"please use gps system or mapquest.com to get directions"


I have seen this too only not as polite. Under directions it merely said "MAPQUEST."

God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/16/10 07:44 PM

"KNOCK DOWN GORGEOUS!!! AMPLY DESCRIBES THIS HOME,..."


What is "amply"?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/16/10 08:50 PM

Originally Posted By: Shannon
What is "amply"?

Liberally . . . . more than just adequately.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/17/10 03:09 PM

I like the "Knock Down Gorgeous!!!" part. Never thought to use that instead of "This house is a teardown".
Posted by: 2good4u

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/17/10 10:16 PM

I had a bpo where the structure had been in a fire and the only thing left was the face of it. The bank wanted me to value it for land only. Which wasn't a problem, but the bank didn't own it anymore the city did. What's even funnier is when the propety sells and they don't even know it.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/18/10 07:12 AM

Originally Posted By: 2good4u
". . . but the bank didn't own it anymore the city did. What's even funnier is when the property sells and they don't even know it."

Did you get paid for it ?

This reminds me of the ONLY BPO that I have never been paid for . . . . one I did 16 years ago for CARTEL ASSET MANAGEMENT, Inc. (Westminster, Colorado) where the Subject had gone up for Tax Sale and was then already owned by a totally different Party.

A case of "You snooze . . . . and you lose!" (But don't rub it in.)

I just kick myself now for giving too much information (TMI). Won't do that again. Remember, A BPO is not a Title Search. Focus on the Objective, as that's all that you'll be paid for anyway. I did quite a bit of research on that one and received NOTHING. Did I mention that it was CARTEL? Still sticks in my craw.

Good Luck !
Posted by: DesertAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/19/10 10:52 AM

Go direct, somebody will be there. Go direct, knock the door. Do not call me please, go ahead and make your best offer.
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/27/10 01:24 AM

APPOINTMENT ONLY!!!!!YES APPOINTMENT ONLY THE SELLER HAS A PIT BULL THAT EATS AGENTS FOR LUNCH!!!MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE YOUR CARD WITH THE SELLER.AGENTS THIS FELL OUT OF ESCROW 3/10/10.IF MLS SAYS ACTIVE THEN IT IS.DON'T CALL AGENT JUST SELL IT.
Posted by: jdharpe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/29/10 06:23 PM

i put this one in myself on a new listing on friday.

This home is on the rebound! It just went through a bad breakup with it's former owner, swoop in and take it before it realizes how much it is worth!

I thought it was funny!
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/31/10 09:44 PM

Owner will consider ALL offers - quite anxious. Prefers quick closing! Needs updating, but good all brick home for investor or first time home buyer. All Brick Ranch, Lg Fenced Backyard for children. Garage for dad, and util room off kitchen for mom. Take a look. (wood burning fireplace)

Odd comments altogether, but Oh Fair Housing Laws, how may I violate thee? Let me count the ways.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/01/10 10:18 AM

All this for just 150K - No Way, Yesss Waaay!!!!
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/03/10 05:21 PM

"Agents*CASH ONLY*Do Not CAll and ask WHY"

Okay, so maybe it's not stupid per se, but it sure comes across as awfully militant for a house that's been on the market for 96 days. Maybe a slightly different tack would be in order.
Posted by: Bigtoe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/04/10 12:51 PM

Originally Posted By: SB Cardinal
"Agents*CASH ONLY*Do Not CAll and ask WHY"



I prefer this to those listings where the agent puts in the MLS that conventional financing is OK but when you get there it is obvious no loans will be written on the property.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/10/10 03:19 PM

Buy me now, I'm priced to sell!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/13/10 04:17 PM


Style: Colonial Color: Male
Posted by: Strega

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/14/10 10:44 AM


"Disclosures: Dishwasher is broken and is gifted to buyer."
Found this disclosure on a listing & thought how "kind" of owner. LOL
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/15/10 08:12 PM

Very tricked out 2 family
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/30/10 07:33 PM

Welcome to the South of France.

No, not even close.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/04/10 08:03 PM

I think I'm going to scream, the next time I see an agent state the property is attached, when it's a detached..... I have one today (comp sale),3,200 GLA...built 2005. I have to send in all MLS data sheets on these comps. I can guarantee that QC will kick this order back. It would help if they look at the picture...lol. To top it off, this agent has been in this business for over 12 years.....oh well...end of rant.
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/10 03:20 PM

Originally Posted By: CandyMan
I think I'm going to scream, the next time I see an agent state the property is attached, when it's a detached..... I have one today (comp sale),3,200 GLA...built 2005. I have to send in all MLS data sheets on these comps. I can guarantee that QC will kick this order back. It would help if they look at the picture...lol. To top it off, this agent has been in this business for over 12 years.....oh well...end of rant.


I see this all the time. I think they are associating attached/detached with the garage instead of the house being one or the other.

Another thing that baffles me is fireplace: None then in the front photo you can see the chimney and the interior pictures - yup, there it is!
Posted by: PalmBeach BPO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/10 03:59 PM

I see this all the time. Today I was searching for a recent sold townhome under 1100 sq ft in a general search. I found condos, and also detached single family . Very frustrating. Our MLS will take the complaint, but it goes no further. I don't understand why local agents just can't list properly.
I also had a exterior BPO/SFR, where the agent stated it was 2300 sq ft, per tax roll it was 1500. geez...
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/10 04:15 PM

Well in my area the tax info could be wrong. Not because the owner did unpermitted work, but because the tax info was never updated after an addition was put on or something. Our properties are not re-assessed frequently (once every 15 years or more....seriously!) and a lot can change about a house in 15 - 20 years time.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/10 09:20 PM

Originally Posted By: Strega

"Disclosures: Dishwasher is broken and is gifted to buyer."
Found this disclosure on a listing & thought how "kind" of owner. LOL
translation..seller is a lazy cheap SOB who has a broken dishwasher, please don't hold it against him.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/14/10 02:58 PM

Goldilocks says this house is 'just right'!
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/14/10 08:19 PM

Quote:
Goldilocks says this house is 'just right'!


Watch your step, basement stairs are covered in porridge?
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/14/10 08:34 PM

Originally Posted By: Ryan
Quote:
Goldilocks says this house is 'just right'!


Watch your step, basement stairs are covered in porridge?
Good one.
Chair, bed and bowl convey as is.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/16/10 04:40 AM

Shouldn't there be a disclosure requirement on the bears or are they a protected class under fair housing?
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/19/10 10:41 PM

"Beyonce's uncle put in the kitchen tile!"

Oh really? Did he autograph a corner piece for ya? Did he do the dance from "All the Single Ladies"?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/28/10 08:19 PM

Seller Concessions at Closing: $6

I would have held out for $7
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/10 02:08 PM

"Some fruit trees and pond do not convey"........I think I'm going to sell tickets to the closing event and final walk through.......lol
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/10 03:00 PM

I want to see how the homeowner plans to move the pond.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/10 03:46 PM

Originally Posted By: neudot
I want to see how the homeowner plans to move the pond.


Do you want me to send you a ticket?.........Only $10 now or $20 at the gate at COE. Front row seating still available.......lol
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/10 06:03 PM

This hous screams, I AM A HOME NOT JUST A HOUSE.

Agent also needs to buy a vowel.
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/10 06:47 PM

Quote:
This hous screams


Never been a fan of screamers. Have some decency.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/02/10 07:11 PM

Remarks: E. B. White once said that "Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it". This listing resembles the aforementioned frog in that it's life span is short and interest is quickly waning. Swim fast before you die laughing !!

These agents are getting ridiculous.
No details about the house.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/02/10 07:15 PM

Remarks: Feel the heartbeat of your financial well being beat stronger with this low maintenance money machine.

Same agency as prior post, different agent. They must all be certified in Stupid MLS comments.
Posted by: BpoBill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/03/10 10:21 PM

Anyone ever google search the comments posted and look at the homes? I did that to both of those you posted MassBPOer. What a couple of stooges.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/04/10 03:54 AM

"This one just needs cosmetics, and its ready to go". List price $6,900. Really? Oh and its a four family. I think you might want to do a total rehab on the neighborhood in that case.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/11/10 07:46 PM

Call now and “MAKE YOUR OWN GOOD LUCK”............................;-}
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/12/10 02:50 PM

My builder placed me on a beautiful 15 K lot in a peaceful neighborhood. You'll love my gleaming Hard Wood floors in most of my rooms, the Fireplace in my Liv Rm, my large Din Rm, my Master BD Rm with 1/2 bath. Did I mention my Fam Rm. Well, I have more rooms on my lower level. I'm here getting my sun, cooking on the grill, waiting for you out by my Gunite pool. Call before I'm gone.

I guess this is the house talking. I didn't know a house could cook.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/13/10 04:19 AM

That is just creepy.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/16/10 11:21 PM

"Buyer to be $495 cord fee".............hmmmmm....a newborn agent?
Posted by: Mez

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/17/10 07:33 PM

[quote=CandyMan]"Buyer to be $495 cord fee".............hmmmmm....a newborn agent? [/quote]

Maybe they meant "Cut the Cord"
Posted by: agent4lee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/20/10 09:56 PM

I was thinking of this thread the other day when in the description section the listing agent of a condo wrote "with a rubberneck you can see the water"

Just can't fix stupid!
Posted by: Rennie

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/21/10 09:26 AM

I am so ugly! I am cute! Needs some TLC. Remember this home may be ugly, but look beyond the paint & repair and see that with one of the fix up loans you can make a purse out of a sow’s ear.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/21/10 10:45 AM

WANTED FUTURE MILLIONAIRE—no vacancy 2 family located on a beautiful piece of land. This property is a short sale.

I guess the current owners didn't make their Million.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/28/10 09:15 PM

Bargain Beauty: All plumbed for solar (pool) Ruff and ready for a new owner and won't that be you today
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/29/10 12:58 AM

horse corals
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/29/10 04:37 AM

Originally Posted By: Artiste
horse corals


Maybe they hace seahorses
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/05/10 07:10 PM

Garage Spaces: 0 Attached

Brilliant, must be one of those new invisible garages.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/07/10 04:32 PM

Association: Yes Fee: $99,999 Fee Includes: Water, Sewer, Master Insurance, Exterior Maintenance

WOW Fee cost more than the condo.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/07/10 06:43 PM

"Large 16x24 storage shed......move in ready"......possible set up for the inlaws?.........lol.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/07/10 10:07 PM

Home home in in need of a little TLC.
Posted by: DesertAgent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/10 04:43 PM

This is a short sale. This property is listed low because tenant will not allow access.
Posted by: realpam

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/13/10 08:56 PM

Winter waterview
Posted by: Andy Perkins

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/10 01:06 AM

"Nice place, eh? Hey, hoser, take off."

Those are the entire contents of the public listing comments. Nada mas.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/10 09:36 AM

On the welcome screen of my MLS
" SFA and SFD: Attached Does Not Mean Garage "

Wow - in order for something to end up on the welcome screen - it has to benefit at least 50% of our membership. I'm worried.
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/10 11:13 PM

[quote=CALIF DREAMING]Recently appearing in SOCAL MLS,

"Sellers are in Foreclosure and Need Really Fast sale. Please show to qualified buyers only, as sellers will need to rent back for about three to four months after close of escrow".

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmm...glad I don't have qualified buyers who would like to be landlords under stress.[/quote]

I am loving the Random Capital letters...
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/10 12:35 AM

Regarding attached/detached. I called an agent on it one day and he treated me like I was the idiot. Yeah...it is ATTACHED to the foundation. Oh, forgive me oh wise one!
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/10 12:51 AM

LOL!!!! Attached to the foundation! ROFLMAO
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/10 04:44 AM

Originally Posted By: Tara Nagelhout
Regarding attached/detached. I called an agent on it one day and he treated me like I was the idiot. Yeah...it is ATTACHED to the foundation. Oh, forgive me oh wise one!


Attached to the earth too.

We get them calling row houses "Single family detached" instead of townhouses or semi-detached because only one family lives there. Like someone couldn't figure it out when they see the photo of the common wall.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/10 03:56 PM

Purse appeal!
Posted by: Andy Perkins

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/15/10 04:38 PM

Originally Posted By: Tara Nagelhout
Regarding attached/detached. I called an agent on it one day and he treated me like I was the idiot. Yeah...it is ATTACHED to the foundation. Oh, forgive me oh wise one!

Here in earthquake country, that matters more than you might think! clown
Posted by: Andy Perkins

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/19/10 05:33 PM

"8 ft. wide limestone walkway leads through large glass foray..."
Posted by: ....J~

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/19/10 08:16 PM

Originally Posted By: PA Roadkill
Originally Posted By: Tara Nagelhout
Regarding attached/detached. I called an agent on it one day and he treated me like I was the idiot. Yeah...it is ATTACHED to the foundation. Oh, forgive me oh wise one!


Attached to the earth too.

We get them calling row houses "Single family detached" instead of townhouses or semi-detached because only one family lives there. Like someone couldn't figure it out when they see the photo of the common wall.
Wow. I wish I could say I've never had to have this conversation before. Usually it is with mobile homes though.
I say 'You've marked it as a SFA.'
Agent: 'It is'
Me: 'But it's a mobile home?'
Agent 'Yes'
Me: 'Is it attached to another mobile home?'
Agent 'I don't understand, it's attached. The title's been cancelled'
Me: 'So it's a SFD then'
Agent 'No of course not.....it has a foundation and the title's been cancelled'

I usually start looking for my asprin and coffee at this point.

J~
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/22/10 05:36 PM

In house deals: listing broker must get treated to lunch/dinner + Bloody Mary(s) !

I cannot believe the agent put this in the MLS for all to see.
Why not just post it in the office? UNBELIEVEABLE!!!
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/29/10 12:36 AM

Good one today. House was built in 1993 and the comments said "first time on market in over 40 years". This agent also put in room for Horse's. I guess horse is now a proper noun.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/29/10 05:56 AM

I just love it when the broker remarks say there is a horse barn, carriage barn, or some such...says it could be used for horses...and no photos of these outbuildings.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/29/10 06:39 AM

Or a poll barn where you could have a "Heard of Derry Cows"
Posted by: Sassy411

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/29/10 10:35 AM

I swear they are becoming progressively worse in my area. How about a house with stanley steal appliances?

Agents are writing in text message format now. No paragraphs, spelling or punctuation required, just one run on sentence.

Which, I suppose is better than no info at all, which we also see too often.

Along with no photos. Really disturbing when that house is agent owned.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/29/10 05:29 PM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Purse appeal!


Hey, I actually LIKE that. Sounds more fun than the standard "Budget Friendly"
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/03/11 01:11 PM

"Wow, come look at this gorgeous home...JUST REDUCED $10,000, SELLERS LOST IS YOUR BUYERS GAIN! **TURKEY**TURKEY**"
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/03/11 02:50 PM

Have seen that turkey description before.....one that keeps popping up is "this is a shor sale listing".
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/04/11 08:23 AM

Private MLS comments:BANK SAYS THEY NEED TO NET $130,512.
List price: $129,900
Somehow, I just don't see that working....

But wait...another one:

List price:$139,000
Private MLS comments: Bank has BPO for $170,000. Seller will review all offers
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/06/11 10:44 AM

A portion of the directions to a very, very private area...

TURN RIGHT GO 3 MILES
TO CON'T PUBIC RMKS
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/06/11 09:27 PM

Originally Posted By: DueDiligence
A portion of the directions to a very, very private area...

TURN RIGHT GO 3 MILES
TO CON'T PUBIC RMKS


YUK!! Agents so need to proof read and preview before submitting!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/07/11 11:06 AM

Well it did say private area. LOL
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/07/11 05:32 PM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Well it did say private area. LOL


I put that in to set up the joke.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/11/11 08:51 PM

Not MLS comments this time, but just read this at the bottom of the HUD instructions for sales contract.

"Sign original, leaving carbon inserts intact, making certain that the signature(s) appears on all copies." followed by archaic transmittal instructions.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/11 08:08 AM

Your mission once accepted is to enjoy the expansive lower level family room.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/11 08:18 AM

A little edgey........You don't need a gun to steal this house.
I think I'd pull that one. Firearm aggression is not hot closing technique these days.
Posted by: Jayesnoop

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/11 09:30 AM

Doin'

I saw your pic and just felt the need to say

LET'S GO BEARS!!!!
Posted by: Jayesnoop

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/11 09:36 AM

In the public comments:

"The gate code is 1234. Please do not share code"

I debated reporting the agent to our board. Not for publishing the gate code, but just the sheer stupidity of the comment.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/11 11:08 AM

Originally Posted By: Jayesnoop
Doin'

I saw your pic and just felt the need to say

LET'S GO BEARS!!!!
We have always had a fear of winning in the northwest. Let's hope we can shake out the jitters.

I remember Hassleback calling Heads in the coin toss to go into an OT with Green Bay a few years ago. Then he said "We're gonna win." Minutes later he threw an goofy game losing interception.

Good luck.

Go Hawks!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/11 02:20 PM

But will the Jets feel the thrill of victory?
Or the agony of the feet?

LOL
Couldn't resist.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/11 03:24 PM

Driving directions = "Google Maps"
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/18/11 09:10 PM

here are some classic excerpts from a listing currently in my MLS:

3 DUELINGS (PERMITED), DOUBLEWIDE WITH... 433 CERTICATE, A PERMITED GARAGE CONVERTION, CHECH WITH CITY FOR ZONING.
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/19/11 01:17 AM

I knew that had to be in SoCal!
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/11 09:53 AM

"used as a bridal trail for horses"
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/11 10:11 AM

Originally Posted By: Artiste
"used as a bridal trail for horses"

That must be their "Path to the Halter" !
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/11 10:58 AM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
Originally Posted By: Artiste
"used as a bridal trail for horses"

That must be their "Path to the Halter" !


Groan!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/11 12:28 PM

Originally Posted By: PA Roadkill
Originally Posted By: Vermont
Originally Posted By: Artiste
"used as a bridal trail for horses"

That must be their "Path to the Halter" !


Groan!!!!!!!!!!


hahahaha
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/27/11 01:44 AM

"How Is Your Hearing? Can You Hear Opportunity Knocking?"




My hearing is great but now I'm speechless...
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/27/11 05:27 PM

An agent of few words:

Property description: California Style

Agents Remarks:
this is short sale property probe court to sale in process of foreclouse any question send offer

Commission:

flat fee of $150 do not call to ask why
Posted by: REOBOSS

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/28/11 08:23 AM

2 bedroom, 1 bath home with indoor utilities
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/28/11 07:00 PM

another beauty i found today:
"*Note correction this property is in a septic tank*"

Boy am I glad they told me, I probably wouldn't have looked there. Think I'll just scratch this one off the list...
Posted by: allREOpreserv

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/28/11 07:36 PM

Originally Posted By: SB Cardinal
another beauty i found today:
"*Note correction this property is in a septic tank*"

Boy am I glad they told me, I probably wouldn't have looked there. Think I'll just scratch this one off the list...


That one got me laughing pretty good. Thanks!

Linda
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/31/11 09:10 PM

dual pane windows throughout, wayne's coating, updated bathrooms
Posted by: New Jersey Realtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/04/11 10:31 AM

Just thought I'd share this. On all of my listings I have "fax or text your bus card and agent will respond immediately with l/b code." (Only so many spaces so we have to abbreviate. Been putting that on my listings for years.)

The other day an agent called me and said he didn't ride the bus, he had a car. I told him his broker had it so he should ask him. <sigh>
Posted by: NextStep

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/04/11 01:38 PM

Hilarious, but sadly, not surprising at all.
Posted by: allREOpreserv

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/04/11 04:47 PM

Originally Posted By: New Jersey Realtor
Just thought I'd share this. On all of my listings I have "fax or text your bus card and agent will respond immediately with l/b code." (Only so many spaces so we have to abbreviate. Been putting that on my listings for years.)

The other day an agent called me and said he didn't ride the bus, he had a car. I told him his broker had it so he should ask him. <sigh>


rotflmao! You could have come back with, "No problem. A hall pass or a bank card will suffice."

Makes you curious to know whether he went and asked the broker for a bus card. laugh

I love reading these things! Keep 'em coming.

Linda
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/05/11 12:59 PM

Perhaps not stupid, but this one made me laugh. "BOA prequalification required on all offers." List price $4,900. Sold price $3,100. Do you suppose the buyer got a loan?
Posted by: REOBOSS

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/05/11 01:43 PM

Originally Posted By: neudot
Perhaps not stupid, but this one made me laugh. "BOA prequalification required on all offers." List price $4,900. Sold price $3,100. Do you suppose the buyer got a loan?


no, but i bet they got qualified.
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/06/11 09:25 PM

Was there any land involved or was it just like a mobile???
Posted by: New Jersey Realtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/07/11 07:01 AM

@AllREOPreserv: PM me.
Posted by: allREOpreserv

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/07/11 04:23 PM

Sent a PM to you this morning, New Jersey Realtor. Did you get it?

Linda
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/08/11 08:20 PM

FOYER ON 1ST FLOOR ADDS ELEGANCE. WONDERFUL BROG COULD BE MEDIA OR BEDROOM OR ........ (...THE SECOND FLOOR FOYER---ADDED COMMENTARY BY DOIN')
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/08/11 08:52 PM

converted garage and a in-closed patio.
Posted by: CentralFLbeepo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/10/11 05:54 PM

Home had been added to, encluding family room, den, Fla. room. ......Offers considered, owner wants to sell, he's up north and not returning. Nice lot to enjoy and intertain.

Glad to hear the owner is considering offers and wants to sell. You don't find that very often!
Also, great opportunity here: owner's up north and not returning - in other words, lets break in and trash the place.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/11/11 08:29 PM

VACANT GO SHOW CBS CODE 4#$56&!%

In my area we use these to get agents to Call Before Showing. Listing the code sort of eliminates the need for that.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/22/11 01:00 PM

"Fully equiped cafe & 3 apartments two of witch (yes, witch) are rented. Can work cafe live in or collect full rentals. can easily be converted into to (yes, to) large apartments or one large house."

Punctuation, spelling and capitalization as per listing.
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/23/11 02:28 PM

and i quote:

"There mite be trust passers.Please show at your own risk.No lock box on property. Go right in"

you gotta admit... the amusement factor is pretty high
Posted by: REOBOSS

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/23/11 10:21 PM



comment = (Nice Family area.)
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/27/11 04:36 PM

sexy hardwood floors.
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/11 07:18 PM

Hurry bring all offers. Seller will be taking all appliances, toilet(special height needed), curtain and curtain rods, Blinds stay. Seller is taking white rocks in yard.
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/11 07:51 PM

Quote:
Blinds stay


Why? Can't they find their way out?

Even if the blind people were included in the sale they would be functionally obsolescent. Are there any deaf people or amputees included in the sale?

Good lord, this listing has lawsuit written all over it.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/11 08:12 PM

Quote:
Quote:
Blinds stay


Why? Can't they find their way out?

Even if the blind people were included in the sale they would be functionally obsolescent. Are there any deaf people or amputees included in the sale?

Good lord, this listing has lawsuit written all over it.


Good pick up....Don't forget

Quote:
Seller is taking white rocks in yard.


That might be a fair housing violation.
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/11 08:19 PM

Quote:
Seller is taking white rocks in yard.


Un-smoked white rocks would likely increase the market value, but may require additional professional inspections, IRS disclosure, and DEA notification.

Blind people, crack rocks, etc. The entire situation is very unfortunate.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/11 08:30 PM

These comments are more for giggles.

RARE 4 BEDROOM - 2 BATH HOME. Possible RV Parking. Long driveway leading to 2-car Detached Garage. Original wood flooring. Private backyard with playhouse built to look like a barn. Could be used for storage and/or a work shop. Permitted BOMB SHELTER located under garden area and currently closed for safety purposes.

Agent Remarks
VACANT - GO DIRECT - GREAT BONES WITH ONLY TWO PREVIOUS OWNERS. Call L/A 4 Addendums. MAKE SURE THE DOORS ARE LOCKED. Let's go to Escrow. Suggestions for 'Bomb Shelter' - MANCAVE, WINE CELLAR AND/OR BAND PRACTICE.

By the way, the street's name is Mystic.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/23/11 05:13 AM

Had to resurrect this thread.
My wife saw a MLS sheet today where the listing agent had put the code to disarm the security system in the agent remarks. I expect that on the next one they'll put the combo to the home safe too.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/23/11 11:11 AM

OMG! That I would report!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/23/11 07:39 PM

Oooh and AHH over this one.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/23/11 08:24 PM

I so want a bomb shelter.
Posted by: King of Internet

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/23/11 10:39 PM

Originally Posted By: SB Cardinal
and i quote:

"There mite be trust passers.Please show at your own risk.No lock box on property. Go right in"

you gotta admit... the amusement factor is pretty high


love that.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/24/11 10:31 AM

The star of this show is ready for primetime.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/24/11 12:04 PM

Did someone yell Block Party?
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/25/11 06:19 PM

"This is a Fannie Mae HomePath property.Purchase this property for as little as 3% down! This property is approved for HomePath Mortgage Financing. It is also approved for HomePath Renovation Mortgage Financing.

Confidential Agent Remarks: Buyer not willing to pay any concession. Not REO nor Short Sale."

WTF??
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/25/11 06:47 PM

Stupid MLS photo:
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/25/11 06:48 PM


Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/26/11 11:03 PM

"Home is in a very good contiotion."
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/28/11 09:57 PM

"Don't let anyone with a check leave without making an offer".
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/04/11 09:43 PM

Seller to pay for 1-yr home warranty plus $2,500 toward any lender-required repairs and/or buyer closing costs. Sold AS IS.
***uh huh...so is it as is or are they paying for repairs? I am getting confused!
Posted by: REO_Wannabe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/05/11 07:51 PM

I saw this one today:

"needs alot of deffered maintenance"

I guess it's just not trashed enough as it is!
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/06/11 06:07 PM

"Dogs will be in Bedroom if no one home - Please do not let dogs out of bedroom (grey one will try to get out of room and out of front door, Please close doors behind you.. Turn off any lights you turn on, Leave Business Card & Lock up tight.."

Yeah, lock up tight unless you are out hunting down that grey dog that got away......
Posted by: sorrento

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/07/11 04:43 PM

"2 friendly dogs and 1 very cute talkative cat (please don't let them out)."

They're probably little con artists.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/07/11 08:18 PM

Originally Posted By: sorrento
"2 friendly dogs and 1 very cute talkative cat (please don't let them out)."



A sweet cat followed me on an interior inspection and I made it a game to get her in every photo on my report.
Posted by: Home Seller Guru

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/08/11 10:47 PM

"two roofs! Better than one" LOL

I can hear the buyers now "honey why is there gravel on the floor of the attic?"
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/10/11 09:39 AM

fishers men paradise
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/10/11 05:32 PM

Week-days 9-5 CALL FIRST, leave message, leave card & show. Owner will be at school. DO NOT lock back door but don't let clients know. Do not give these remarks to buyer.
****
Why is weekdays hyphenated? And the rest...no comment!
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/10/11 07:02 PM

"well upkept"
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/10/11 07:48 PM

Showings only after presenting Offer to Purchase.
Posted by: Analog Man

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/11/11 06:31 AM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Showings only after presenting Offer to Purchase.


Is that on a tenant occupied multi-family? If so, I can understand that as they may not be aware the property is for sale. Just curious.....
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/12/11 10:22 PM

I have a new one but gimme a sec to regain my composure...
okay here goes:

"Nice property for your first time home buyer or your incestor."

I'm still wiping the tears out of my eyes, and my ribs hurt.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/12/11 11:34 PM

Quote:
"Nice property for your first time home buyer or your incestor."



Reminds me of a story told to me by a veteran agent. She was showing secluded cabins to a couple. One day she called the "husband's" home number to tell him about a new one she had discovered.

The wife answered the phone. The real wife, that is.
Who didn't know anything about a search for a secluded cabin.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/13/11 05:54 AM

"Oh, darn, honey, the stupid realtor spoiled the surprise!"
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/13/11 11:42 AM

I like it when the remarks state, in regards to a short sale, that it will be professionally negotiated by a title company. It's as though the title company also unprofessionally negotiates.
Posted by: minna

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/16/11 06:56 PM

"OPPORTUNITY" HUGE CUSTOM CAPE WITH A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MAKE-OVER IN 1985. EVERYTHING IS NEW IN 1985!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/18/11 03:23 PM

HEY MR. TAMBOURINE MAN may have been written by BOB DYLAN right here on the back porch.
Posted by: WayneSmith

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/22/11 04:58 AM

beautiful home, love it !!!
put some more picture, like that
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/25/11 06:18 PM

PRICED BELOW ZILLOW ESTIMATE!!
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/26/11 11:09 PM

Needs alot of work. Sellers removed Stove,hood,some door knobs. Will need paint,carpet, kitchen appliances. Currently has a dark purple room and a lime green room, half ripped off wallpaper room. You get the point LOL
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/05/11 10:40 PM

Originally Posted By: minna
"OPPORTUNITY" HUGE CUSTOM CAPE WITH A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MAKE-OVER IN 1985. EVERYTHING IS NEW IN 1985!


I saw a listing like that - remarks said "Home was TOTALLY REMODELED in the 1980s!"

Like, WOW! It's a 60 year old home that shows like a 30 year old home! LOL
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/06/11 08:52 AM

Short Sale Say "Hello" to a "Good Buy" Short Sale.

Makes me think of some old Beatles lyrics.
"You say Good Buy, I say Hello.
Hello, Hello,
I don't know why you say Good Buy I say Hello"
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/20/11 01:41 PM

Ha ha ha.....Home features many upgrades. Kitchen has ceramic tile floors and matching backsplash. Entire house humidifier. Paramount replacement windows in every room with a lifetime quaranteen.


Can we com out yet? No that quaranteen is still in place.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/20/11 02:16 PM

Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose
Ha ha ha.....Home features many upgrades. Kitchen has ceramic tile floors and matching backsplash. Entire house humidifier. Paramount replacement windows in every room with a lifetime quaranteen.


Can we com out yet? No that quaranteen is still in place.


I now vote that the DRE require an IQ test to get a license. Could be shooting myself in the foot though. smile
Posted by: RichardDD

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/28/11 05:59 AM

"Please call for appointment, owner has two children and two dogs he has to cage...."

I wonder he puts them all in the same cage???...
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/28/11 10:49 AM

Directions to property.........."Use Thomas maps or GPS".......that was a first for me.......lazy agent, maybe?
Posted by: Anyelina

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/28/11 09:30 PM

Originally Posted By: RichardDD
"Please call for appointment, owner has two children and two dogs he has to cage...."

I wonder he puts them all in the same cage???...


HAHAHAHA! laugh
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 05:53 AM

Originally Posted By: CandyMan
Directions to property.........."Use Thomas maps or GPS".......that was a first for me.......lazy agent, maybe?

It always bugs me when they do put directions but don't give a starting point. You have to figure out if it's from their office (which it generally is) or from some random point in space.
Posted by: minna

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 08:18 AM

Are there really agents left that count on the mls for directions to listings? I think they should just do away with the field. If you're not self sufficient enough to have a gps or know how to use google maps, maybe its time for a new profession.
Posted by: JackREO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 10:52 AM

The issue is directions from where? Is this agent coming from north, south, east or west? Do they turn right or left off whatever main road they're traveling on. Mapquest, google, GPS, cell phone apps...there are a number of options other then, please hold my hand and escort me to the property. If an agent lacks, what I'd consider, the basic tools of the industry how about they just not show my properties, waste someone elses time.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 11:53 AM

Originally Posted By: minna
Are there really agents left that count on the mls for directions to listings? I think they should just do away with the field. If you're not self sufficient enough to have a gps or know how to use google maps, maybe its time for a new profession.


In our MLS, it's a "required field". As for me, I use it for a reference point. If my GPS fails to locate it, I refer back to the MLS directions. Newer subdivisions may not appear or GPS needs to be map updated. I have a large service area and I don't have time to play "find the monkey". I program all my orders into the GPS, prior to departure. It saves me time and fuel costs.

I do agree with Jack's post as to where the directions start from. Out of area agents are the worst. As for me, my directions start from the nearest highly traveled street or major highway....whatever is needed.

"Directions" are there for a purpose. The agent could be new to the business or from out of area. It's just an aid to get from point A to point B. I also install a combo box on all listings, along with the Supra box. Out of area agents won't have Supra access. Local agents have had their battery die for the Supra toy. The bottom line is simple. I want that property sold. By adding directions to the MLS and installing a combo box is just part of doing business.
Posted by: STEW

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 11:59 AM


Direction section on our mls is required also.
Ive seen one of our out of state REO brokers put "use GPS" under directions...
Posted by: minna

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 12:32 PM

Ours is a required field also - but I think its time has passed. I dont put more than "Smith to Third" or something like that in there. Im tempted to put "use your GPS" but I dont want to irritate other agents. There is no way to give complete directions even if someone needed it, as you just dont know where they're coming from.
I could literally spend all my time making sure everything is dumbed down enough for the most incompetent agent, and explaining to other agents how to perform their job, or running around town opening doors for agents who are too cheap for an ekey, or picking up docs from agents that cant use email or a fax, or showing my houses for buyers agents that are too lazy to show homes, etc.......but seriously - I dont think my clients pay me for that. There has to be some personal responsibility here. Be a professional. Come prepared for the job without having to count on others to hold your hand.
Just figure out how to navigate to homes. Its not rocket science.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 12:50 PM

Minna, GPS does NOT always work in my area. There are several areas where it does not know that there are dead ends. I had customers following me and accused me of taking the "long way" because their GPS told them to turn left at one point and the arrival time was drastically shorter. Ah, I said...that is NOT a through road. It "dead ends" a few miles back into the woods and there is no way through, even though TomTom or Garmin thinks it does. I could tell he didn't believe me so I hoped he used his TomTom to go home the way he wanted to go. Muwahaaa haaa haaa. LOL

Many times a road name is different on the GPS than it is on the street even though it's been named that on the street sign since before there were GPS units.

My husband got lost and sent 10 miles out of his way by following Google Maps directions to a concert.

I have a handy map book and even THAT is wrong sometimes. My Garmin FREQUENTLY wants me to go the "wrong way" or a much "longer" way than I would choose for myself.

You can't always rely on technology.

Especially in newer (or reinvented) subdivisions.

Why should I have to spend 10 minutes figuring out where the heck to go via tax maps and my map book, when it will take an agent 30 seconds to type in the directions?

:p
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 12:58 PM

Here, directions are only required for out of town properties. And they do help a lot. I may have a general knowledge of the next small town north, but new subdivisions are plentiful there and I don't know all the streets in them. And some of those builders are going under.

Something like, "Take exit 53, through town to Kimberly Rd., right to Apple Park, house is 3rd on left" takes me 5 seconds to read and saves a lot of trouble finding the house when gps doesn't get it (and it doesn't get it on many of those properties, we're all finding).
Posted by: Shannon

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 01:03 PM

Large two-story home has a great open floor plan with five bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. Home shows light and bright with grand entryway, large kitchen with corian counters, Hugh family room, separate living room and formal dining room. Grand style master bathroom and a spacious loft, inside laundry large private back yard, and attached garage. Owner is living behind washer/dryer and a refrigerator.


Poor owner! Must be cramped back there!
Posted by: JackREO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 02:12 PM

One cannot give accurate directions TO anywhere unless one knows the starting point. The mention of exit 53 and follow through town would not apply if someone was entering the town from the opposite side. We manage to locate properties for BPOs and initial assignments without the home owner giving us directions. In 19 years I have never been unable to find a property. However, I will be the first to say there are agents out there that couldn't find their butt with both hands unless one first gave them a through description of a butt and a hand. The hand is at the end of the arm and the butt is where their head is. Even Hansel and Gretel had brains enough to follow breadcrumbs.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 03:11 PM

Most people who work in an area should know the GENERAL area. Directions could be precise, not "take your first left then go three blocks and take a right." Mention street names (duh.) So instead of "Take exit 53 and follow through town" the directions should say "Take I-80 Exit 53, turn to travel north on Route 572. (this way no matter which way they are coming on the Interstate, they will know they have to go north. Hopefully they can figure that part out...) Then turn right on Mockingbird Lane, then another right onto Jefferson St."

And if you have any sense you'll know that if you are traveling from the opposite way and heading SOUTH on 572, then you know to turn LEFT onto Mockingbird Lane.

"Not knowing the starting point" is a cop out excuse for being too lazy to write the directions. Mentioning the crossroads and stating what direction to take to follow those directions makes it easy.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 03:54 PM

You can lead them to water, but, you can't make them drink....I'm one of the lucky one's.......I have a digital compass built into my dashboard.....lol.
Posted by: JackREO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 04:20 PM

We're just going to agree to disagree on this one. You're assuming everyone is coming down rte whatever. There are basics every realtor should have. Microsoft streets and trips, google maps, mapquest, GPS, or a primative map book. Consider this. The foreclosing attorney found the house, the auction folks found the house, the due diligence BPO folks found the house, the listing agent found the house, the trashout folks found the house, the lawn care dudes found the house. Now along comes the buyer agent and they need their hands held. When you get a request for a drive by BPO or a new llisting and it's never been listed do you turn it down? No, you exercise intelligent thought and locate it. The cop out isn't not laying out directions, it's not being able to operate a GPS. Is there anyone out there without one...meaning full timers, not the tire kickers. Every listing I've had states Mapquest under directions and they've all sold.
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 05:44 PM

Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
Minna, GPS does NOT always work in my area. There are several areas where it does not know that there are dead ends. I had customers following me and accused me of taking the "long way" because their GPS told them to turn left at one point and the arrival time was drastically shorter. Ah, I said...that is NOT a through road. It "dead ends" a few miles back into the woods and there is no way through, even though TomTom or Garmin thinks it does. I could tell he didn't believe me so I hoped he used his TomTom to go home the way he wanted to go. Muwahaaa haaa haaa. LOL

Many times a road name is different on the GPS than it is on the street even though it's been named that on the street sign since before there were GPS units.

My husband got lost and sent 10 miles out of his way by following Google Maps directions to a concert.

I have a handy map book and even THAT is wrong sometimes. My Garmin FREQUENTLY wants me to go the "wrong way" or a much "longer" way than I would choose for myself.

You can't always rely on technology.

Especially in newer (or reinvented) subdivisions.

Why should I have to spend 10 minutes figuring out where the heck to go via tax maps and my map book, when it will take an agent 30 seconds to type in the directions?

:p


Amen, sister.

GPS is virtually worthless in my rural area. Many roads don't even have names. Many roads aren't on any map. Roads disappear and turn into faint "jeep" trails, and then into nothing-- IF you missed that second turn by the pile of rocks. Even with MLS directions, make one bad turn and... we'll see you MUCH later.

I have to laugh when prospects tell me they'll just use MapQuest. I laugh even harder when customers tell me they'll use Tom-Tom to find rural properties. I say, "Pack a lunch and make sure you bring plenty of water". At dusk, when they're completely lost, they might ask their GPS what all that howling means--- see if it gives them directions about what to do when packs of coyotes are getting ready to find something to eat.

I'm more than a little surprised at some of the arrogance of thread respondents who say that MLS directions need to be done away with, OR that agents are too stupid or lazy to use GPS. Try walking in somebody else's shoes before you make blanket comments.
Posted by: JackREO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 06:06 PM

One item I totally overlooked. Our MLS has a mapping feature built in. When you pull up a listing there's a google map available both satelite and road. So I would guess that's why we're able to cut out directions, a state of the art MLS. In the heavily populated north east it would take much more space then allowed in MLS. 10-20 turns to get from a major highway to the actual property. And that's multiplied by the number of of different state highways one could be coming in from. The state highways running through the small city I'm in are Rtes, 24, 123, 27, 139, 18, 28. That's 12 different point of entry. I do recall many years ago, before google and such when we used map books, I received a call from a co-broke asking how to get to a property. When I inquired as to where she was the answer was, near a large intersection with a gas station. Now that narrows it down. How could one possible talk you in from ???. There are a number of large intersections in MA.with gas stations. Like millions. I suggested she drop in the gas station and ask directions. It's not arrogance, it's frustration with some folks inability to use common sense. How do I get there from an intersection with a gas station?...really?
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 06:07 PM

A digital compass? Hmm. I'm sure it would be a big help in locating the undeeded cabins on leased state forest land. There isn't even a tax map to look up...when you pull up the tax map, all you get is the entire tract of land. 1,000 acres worth..lol. Good luck with that! wink
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 06:09 PM

City people really don't understand rural living. LOL. At least we have 911 addresses now, not the old R.D. (Rural Delivery) #1 Box 547 Or HCR 1 Box 22 (Highway Commercial Route) like many of us had up until about 4 years ago. laugh
Posted by: JackREO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 08:19 PM

The city definition of rural is just outside the range of a gang members hand gun.
Posted by: BpoBill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 08:48 PM

Last 10 posts have nothing to do with Stupid MLS comments. Why not start a whole new thread about gps and mapquest rather than clogging this one up?
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 08:56 PM

Originally Posted By: minna
Are there really agents left that count on the mls for directions to listings? I think they should just do away with the field. If you're not self sufficient enough to have a gps or know how to use google maps, maybe its time for a new profession.
I don't but have to confess agent directions get me out of a jam once every couple of weeks. This is for BPOs not for showings. When I run a string of BPOs inevitably one road will be kooky on the GPS, either since it is too new or too rural-or both. A time consuming way of solving the propeblem is pulling over and trying mapquest or MLS maps, but when an agent has kindly put a leader road in the comments or directions it gives me just enough of wht I need to find the place.

I guess it is a courtesy to extend as we are cooperating with one another.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/29/11 09:01 PM

Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
City people really don't understand rural living. LOL. At least we have 911 addresses now, not the old R.D. (Rural Delivery) #1 Box 547 Or HCR 1 Box 22 (Highway Commercial Route) like many of us had up until about 4 years ago. laugh
We had these up until a few years ago in many counties. You had to be a real detective to locate a property. I did come to one conclusion with which you might agree....some of the nicest and helpful people you will ever meet work in county offices. This is the only way I had ever found to locate a parcel, then plot it on the map page, identify the roads, make notes, get tax information, etc.
Posted by: jducey

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/11 08:57 AM

I think getting lost is part of being an agent in a rural spot. We have houses with no addresses or mailboxes. And vacant land? Even harder if the agent does not put up a sign.

I know I am further contributing to this thread being hijacked, but bad directions from our MLS peers is something that has always annoyed me.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/02/11 02:18 PM

Quote:
My husband got lost and sent 10 miles out of his way by following Google Maps directions to a concert.

I have a handy map book and even THAT is wrong sometimes. My Garmin FREQUENTLY wants me to go the "wrong way" or a much "longer" way than I would choose for myself.



I love my GPS but it isn't idiot proof. It had me driving in circles a few weeks ago trying to find a short little street that ran parallel to a larger highway.

In certain rural areas it can be a mile or more off...sometimes tells me the property I am looking for is on the opposite side of the road...or tries to send me down a dead end street or over a closed bridge.

Even with its limitations, I don't know how I ever got along without it.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/03/11 05:08 AM

If I don't know the street when I get an order, I map it first on my computer to get the general area. Then I can priortize the work in some kind of sensible order.
The worst part of the GPS I use is that sometimes it will want me to turn down an alley instead of a street. In some areas I work, the alley have names so the GPS doesn't know that it's a 10 foot wide alley instead of a 35 foot wide street.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/07/11 08:12 AM

I’M BACK WITH A WHOLE NEW SPRING LOOK!!
Problem is subject photo still shows snow on the ground.
Too lazy to take new photo.
Must be on spring break.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/14/11 12:24 PM

Is Martha Stewart a realtor? "Home is where the HEARTH is...The lower level is where you'll find the woodburning HEARTH stove"
I just want to smack this person - I am sure they think they are clever.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/14/11 12:57 PM

Originally Posted By: OverTheEdge
Is Martha Stewart a realtor? "Home is where the HEARTH is...The lower level is where you'll find the woodburning HEARTH stove"
I just want to smack this person - I am sure they think they are clever.


You're right - whoever wrote that needs a beating.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/14/11 02:35 PM

You just cannot make this stuff up.

This is a 3 Bedrs. 1.75 Baths. Stucci, high cieling, gas fire place in the living room, kitchen custom made cabenets, oven, dish wassher, kitchen dining area, nice yard lots of trees and plans, 2 cars garage.

It's a tenant occupy, 24 hour notice to show the house, must outside plans belong to the tanant, won't include
Posted by: Andy Perkins

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/20/11 05:02 PM

I just looked up the old listing for my own house before I bought it. It states:

"this house is for shortsale, and needs shortsale approval. this the best deal in the neiberhood...we are considerling all offers."

All things considlered, I do enjoy my neiberhood quite a bit.
Posted by: whatagirl

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/21/11 09:50 AM

the other annoying thng is photos with snow in June, and garage descriptions ie: 1 carport....when the pic clearly shows a 2 car garage- first thing to learn is style of house, and the difference between an garage and a carport...idiots- don't describe a split level as an A-Frame- go back to Mc D's and flip burgers
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/21/11 11:01 AM

Around here agents can't seem to figure out the difference between a bungalow and a Cape. Attached garage versus detached.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/21/11 03:22 PM

Only in the south..............Refrigerator on porch does not convey
Posted by: Tonya D

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/21/11 03:26 PM

Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose
Only in the south..............Refrigerator on porch does not convey


ROFL Thats great!!
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/21/11 04:58 PM

"You can get Pizza Delivery if you live here."

With all the Mountain Views; the Garden Maze with Sculptures; Indoor Pool; Multiple Fireplaces; Granite Counters, Italian Bidets; Central Vacuum and Good Feng Shui, it boils down to this . . . . Pizza Delivery.

Well then, that's the one for me !

I did a search of our Statewide MLS for Pizza Delivery in the comments, and many competing properties have pizzazz, and some have built in brick pizza ovens . . . . but no others offer Pizza Delivery. It's unique.
Posted by: whatagirl

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/21/11 07:32 PM

ROFLMA OFF......................however, TRUE......DUD's
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/22/11 04:55 AM

Originally Posted By: Doin' bpose
Only in the south..............Refrigerator on porch does not convey


But the hound dog does convey
Posted by: RichardDD

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/22/11 07:53 AM

Directions to property: Begging at US 41 and South St, turn right.....

So I guess if you beg for directions at US41 and South St, you might find the property.... LOL
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/23/11 03:09 PM

A "Lotto" House, for the money. This home is the big payoff at $309900.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/24/11 11:27 PM

UNDERGRND POOL...
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/25/11 04:10 PM

Motivated seller bring all offers. Not included in sale pellet stove, freezer, grapevines, kitchen island counter, front porch remote fan, microwave, fruit trees, fruit bushes
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/25/11 04:26 PM

What was the header? "This is shell of a deal"?....lol
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 09:24 AM

I never heard of fruit trees not conveying. lol It's quite a long list of stuff not included.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 11:01 AM

We had one where the seller stripped all of the oranges off the trees before closing. They had to pay the buyer $500 at closing because the oranges were there when they made the offer.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 12:36 PM

I've never had any Buyer object to a clause inserted in the P&S retaining Riparian Rights for the Seller to any crop that they've sown/planted/cultivated/nurtured; but have not yet harvested. It's fairly routine; and eliminates the need to rush prior to Closing, as they can come back afterwards.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 01:56 PM

I can see about the FRUIT...but not the trees! LOL
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 01:56 PM

I thought Riparian rights had to do with waterway rights?
Posted by: NWABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 02:03 PM

I believe riparian rights refer to water rights... IMHO the term fructus naturales is more appropriate in this situation. Any attorneys out there want to give a better opinion?

I'm not an attorney and not attempting to give legal advice....
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 02:03 PM

Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
I thought Riparian rights had to do with waterway rights?


Sellers can retain the right to this year's crop and they'll belong to the Buyer after that.
I believe it's called "ripefruitian rights" but I could be wrong.
Posted by: NWABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 02:06 PM

Originally Posted By: Artiste
Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
I thought Riparian rights had to do with waterway rights?


Sellers can retain the right to this year's crop and they'll belong to the Buyer after that.
I believe it's called "ripefruitian rights" but I could be wrong.


..he he.. good one.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 02:53 PM

Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
I thought Riparian rights had to do with waterway rights?
You're right . . . . so much for using multi-syllabic words without first checking to be certain.

What we have here would more appropriately be called:

Emblements

From the Lexicon at: The 'Lectric Law Library

"Emblements are crops to which a tenant who cultivated the land is entitled by agreement with the owner. If the tenant dies before harvest, the crop will become the property of his/her estate. The doctrine chiefly comes into play in the law of landlord and tenant, or in the foreclosure of mortgages and other legal situations that place the rights of another party in contention with those of a farmer who has planted a crop yet to be harvested. The doctrine of emblements operates to guarantee a farmer's right to reap and carry away the fruits of his/her labor even if s/he loses title to the land on which they are grown."

But they are not an automatic entitlement; so one should always ask for them in an Agreement.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 06:52 PM

LOL@ Artiste - ripefrutian rights. ha ha ha

Thank you for the refresher Vermont. Since I do not deal with farms, generally, nor have I come up against riparian rights issues (in spite of selling waterfront properties) but I do recall learning about emblements and riparian rights in my Pre Licensing Crash Course. About the only thing I recall from that course was a vague recognition of "riparian rights" and the term "tenants-in-common" and I do know what "fee simple" is. I had forgotten emblements, sadly, and without your handy reference, I would have thought it was some way of marking your property with your monogram, logo or other "emblem."

I see it is time to dig up my handy Real Estate Vocabulary Compact Disc and begin listening to it in the car again; perhaps

I can use it as an instrument of punishment for the kids and a refreshing of my education at the same time.

Vermont, I am in your debt.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/26/11 07:41 PM

Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
Vermont, I am in your debt.

No . . . . I am in your debt.

I had become guilty of wrong thinking; and must have sub-consciously thought that riparian rights had something to do with "reaping".

It sounds good; but that association must be broken.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/27/11 03:53 PM

You must have been thinking of reaparian rights, which Artiste forgot to reference. It is perfectly understandable.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/27/11 11:41 PM

Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
You must have been thinking of reaparian rights, which Artiste forgot to reference. It is perfectly understandable.


No that's for snakes, isn't it? Buyer gets to keep the snakes on the property, right?

Ripefruitian refers to a seller's rights to keep the fruits of his labor. He can take his fruit, it's his right.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/01/11 02:31 PM

For those of your with Green thumbs:

"Rose bushes in front yard do not convey"

and another

"Bulbs in back yard not included" assuming they meant bulbs like daffodils not light bulbs
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/07/11 08:57 PM

SHINES LIKE A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/16/11 08:59 PM

"In the hands of Two, Focused on Yo"
Posted by: 75Corvette

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/17/11 05:59 PM

Several years ago I remember a home of Italianate style--was a nice brick home built in the 1850's, one of the older homes in our area. Of course the agent had, in huge bold black letters, "ITALIAN EIGHT DESIGN!" splashed across the ad. We were ROTFL in our office, especially since the agent was from our competitor.
Posted by: OverTheEdge

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/25/11 12:48 PM

Some houses have it all & something extra! Fresh,sassy, appointed, chic, value!
Posted by: Sassy411

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/25/11 12:49 PM

From one I saw yesterday:

"Strategic cul de sac location"

Strategic? Really?
Posted by: TriangleNCBroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/25/11 05:33 PM

Originally Posted By: Sassy411
From one I saw yesterday:

"Strategic cul de sac location"

Strategic? Really?


Better hope the Russians don't find out about it....
Posted by: Sassy411

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/25/11 05:36 PM

Exactly. Maybe it's set up for nightime recon.
Posted by: Alexandra

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/26/11 11:50 AM

Motivated seller!! Prego floors...
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/27/11 12:46 PM

The decorating fairy was here
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/28/11 01:19 PM

"Fram hose" in great condition....errrrr....maybe a "farm house?"
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/28/11 08:27 PM

Originally Posted By: neudot
"Fram hose" in great condition....errrrr....maybe a "farm house?"
Makes me want to go check under the hood of the car..Fram is a big manufacturer of air filters and oil filters, and who knows, perhaps hoses.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/28/11 09:08 PM

"You can pay me now or you can pay me later"....that was their old catch phrase.......kind of like what the banks are sayin' today......lol.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/11/11 08:34 AM

Just saw this in MLS
Directions: ask your agent
Posted by: NextStep

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/18/11 05:13 PM

Under Remarks.....

"Must be purchased"

Really? They aren't giving it away?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/18/11 07:37 PM

Maybe they were just being plagued with calls from renters ?

Some properties just have that certain look to them . . . . like no one in their right mind would ever buy this; so it must be For Rent! Wishful Thinking.
Posted by: BpoBill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/19/11 12:24 AM

"Absolutely stunning is what describes this one owner prestine colonial. Two story foyer greet you when entering in addition to the high ceilings and breathe taking kitchen. This home has to much to offer to descibe in 455 characters. Subject to owners approval of short sale approval"

The only photos of the home are the front with snow on the ground, the 2nd is of the "breathe taking kitchen" that was shot with a 5 year old cell phone camera.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/19/11 04:35 AM

Maybe with a SpellCheck, it would fit within the 455 Character Limitation; but gosh, they didn't even give it a try ! So we'll never know . . . . 455 Characters is a LOT of Characters; ever try to fill that up when they say it's 455 MINIMUM ? (That's almost 20 times the entire alphabet!)

And I do like the idea that the Owner gets a final shot at approving the Short Sale Approval . . . . one last grasp at preserving one's dignity. Delightful.

As they say, "You never can have too much complexity" (Do they say that?)
Posted by: Greg Phillips

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/19/11 02:14 PM

SOLD! I want to live in the kitchen!
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/19/11 05:58 PM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
Maybe they were just being plagued with calls from renters ?

Some properties just have that certain look to them . . . . like no one in their right mind would ever buy this; so it must be For Rent! Wishful Thinking.


I actually had one of those properties. It needed REAL fixin' up. Every person that called I'd tell them it was a very good candidate for FHA 203k, but 75% asked, "Would they rent it?" "Would they do rent-to-own?"

It was a gov't foreclosure - oh sure, they'll rent it....
Posted by: ditty

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/20/11 07:41 AM

how can you live in a kitchen that takes your breathe away?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/20/11 08:51 AM

Originally Posted By: ditty
how can you live in a kitchen that takes your breathe away?

The problem is that Ms. Ditty is always carefully reading every word.

These Writers never expect anyone to do that ! They only expect a superficial read based on immediate perception.
Posted by: rls362

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/20/11 09:57 AM

Agent is owner. This sell is contingent upon seller purchasing a home known to seller.
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/03/11 10:27 AM

"Hurray before its too late."

Would a simple Yipee work?
Posted by: Tburke

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/06/11 11:27 PM

Ranch comment: Bring you cows and hors (horses) LOL thought that was funny
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/08/11 08:43 PM

Not a stupid comment but just saw this on a comp that sold for
$636,000. Seller Concessions at Closing:$350 I guess that sealed the deal.
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/09/11 06:39 PM

Found today in the Directions: "From [name withheld to protect the dumb] Realty make a Right on 208W.

I know where 208W is (huge, rural area), but I have NO idea where this Realty company is so I'll never be seeing this property.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/11/11 09:47 PM

bath completely remolded with all new fixtures
Posted by: Grampa

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/12/11 01:03 PM

I like that. Remolded.

My Mom told me when I was born they threw away the mold.
However, some of it did grow back. smile
Posted by: Greg Phillips

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/12/11 01:37 PM

Hey, she may have thrown away the mold, but there is cloning available!
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/12/11 02:11 PM

Property is located in Virginia; Listing Agent has it mapped as being in New Haven, Connecticut - talk about a commute!
Posted by: Rainbowtyedye

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/13/11 09:09 PM

In our MLS we have a section for the seller's name. Some listing agents who want to hide their client's names will type something along the lines of "owner" "withheld" or "xxxxxxx". I'm OK with that.

Others type something silly like "your buyer" or "your client". My buyer already owns the house? Really? Seriously? Then tell your so-called seller to get the heck out, NOW! And if you get a contract on the house, don't think for a minute you're getting the listing side of the commission, because my client would never work with you.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/16/11 09:37 AM

"Water access." Not sure if this is referring to the above-ground pool, or possibly to the recently excavated ditch that may be filled with water after the recent monsoons we have been having.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/11 08:26 PM

BEAUTIFUL GOOD TAKE CARE HOUSE, THE 3 BEDROOM HAVE A PERMIT FOR FAMILY ROOM 20X19 IS USE MASTERBEDROOM , BIG YARD, SOW AND SELL CALL LISTIN AGENT FOR APP.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/20/11 05:02 AM

Originally Posted By: Rainbowtyedye
In our MLS we have a section for the seller's name. Some listing agents who want to hide their client's names will type something along the lines of "owner" "withheld" or "xxxxxxx". I'm OK with that.

Others type something silly like "your buyer" or "your client". My buyer already owns the house? Really? Seriously? Then tell your so-called seller to get the heck out, NOW! And if you get a contract on the house, don't think for a minute you're getting the listing side of the commission, because my client would never work with you.

I knew an agent that would type "Buy Me" or "Good Deal" as the owner's name. Funny guy with a sense of humor. Passed away about 6 years ago at the age of 45.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/21/11 10:43 PM

Year Built 180
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/26/11 07:31 AM

This home is truly a diamond in the rough with too many amenities to list including new roof, windows, designer interior & exterior paint, stainless steel appliances, kitchen cabinets, amazing granite, gorgeous flooring, upgraded lighting and more!
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/26/11 11:58 AM

Where I live a house with such amenities would be unlikely to be a "diamond in the rough."
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/26/11 12:24 PM

Originally Posted By: neudot
Where I live a house with such amenities would be unlikely to be a "diamond in the rough."


Maybe she thinks its a diamond in the rough, as in a diamond found among the tall grass on a golf course (rough) and she confused it with finding a needle in a haystack.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/27/11 05:50 PM


(actual size of the photo)
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/27/11 06:35 PM

Does the house come with the garage ?
Posted by: City Girl

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/27/11 06:49 PM

That's funny!
Posted by: BPO Depot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/27/11 09:19 PM

"Please do not contact me to check availability, all properties are considered active until they are Pending. Please make every attempt possible to limit calls regarding status as it will slow the short-sale process. Price and commissions subject to 3rd party bank approval. As-Is Sale. Contact me via email @k.com if not responded to within 24h. Thank you for your understanding."

And the house was on the market for 295 days as a short sale for $309k with no price reductions (in that time our market dropped by at least 10%). There was only 1 photo on the MLS and it was copied from the last time the house was listed...in 2000. Now it's an REO. Gotta love it!
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/02/11 03:12 PM

This is not a stupid MLS comment, but an interesting one and running it by you guys just in case you have heard of this before, and if it is true or not. I was searching commercial listings yesterday and came across this listing agent's comment regarding the purchase of the property being a magnate for someone needing US Residency/Green Card.

Description
A Great Offer is Here. Owner is going to carry substantial portions at 4% and the price is further negotiable. This is a small car wash but has great potentials to grow. Good for starters who want to be richer soon. Very nice and clean looking building in safe area. Ideal for a family business. Seller will finance to suit to your situation. Selling price($1,550,000) is based on property value $1,200,000 + car wash value $350,000. Net Income is an average of $10,000 a month. This must be a dream price for any buyer! By the way, if you can make a down payment of $1,000,000 and you and your family need US permanent Visas, this car wash will make it possible. Equipment and Building are in good clean condition. Land Size Is 13,800 Sf; Building Size Is 2,500 Sq. Ft. Required down payment is $500,000. the rest will be owner financed @ 4% interest. Do not let this opportunity go by. Call the agent to make your dream come true.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/02/11 07:06 PM

"duel pane"

I think they meant "duel pain?"
Posted by: JohnWoodward

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/03/11 05:24 PM

REALTORS need to understand the importance comments play in today's world. The MLS feeds countless thousands of websites including agent IDX sites. If you want your listings to shine to the top, write something meaningful. To do anything less, is a disservice to their customers and reflects on your reputation.

http://www.sarasotaone.com
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/03/11 07:36 PM

"House is fully available".

?????silly I don't KNOW what that means.
Posted by: NextStep

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/05/11 12:33 PM

"GENTLE AGENT KINDLY WERIFY ALL MEASUREMENTS/INFO."
Posted by: JackREO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/05/11 07:48 PM

Silly wabbitt
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/05/11 10:12 PM

"CUTE CUTE CURE!"
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/11 10:18 AM

There is a finishable basement which is NOT calculated into the approximate square footage.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/11 08:43 PM

Dont miss out on this OPPORT-YOU-NITY
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/10/11 07:38 PM

Calif Dreaming, I believe this is correct. If a non-US Citizen makes a capital expenditure of at least $1,000,000 (or in some cases as little as $500,000) in a commercial business here in the US, they are eligible for a green card. There are certain caveats of course, but it's do-able.
Money can buy a lot of things, can't it?
Posted by: The Focus Team

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/13/11 12:06 PM

How about the one that states "Quiet, safe neighborhood perfect for a family" and then a few nights later someone was shot in their home in an act of random violence. This was in WI about a year ago....
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/14/11 11:02 PM

....play room in addition to adult library
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/16/11 10:17 AM

HIGH-END FIXER. What a horribly neglected, near new house this is! How could they abuse so much in such a short period of time?
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/17/11 02:35 PM

Beautiful house with lost of space.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/17/11 04:43 PM

Danger Will Robinson! LOL Does it come with it's own robot? lol
Posted by: BPO Depot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/20/11 11:58 AM

HURRY! THIS HOME WILL NOT LAST LONG ON THE MLS. VERY CLEAN 3/2 IN A DESIRED NEIGHBORHOOD. PRICED TO SELL! HOME IS VACANT. JUST SHOW UP AND SELL! OWNER WOULD LOVE TO HAVE HER HOME SOLD BEFORE CHRISTMAS. PLEASE SUBMIT ALL OFFERS!

Current Days on Market= 340!!!

In her defense, the agent didn't say which Christmas the owner wanted it sold by. The last price reduction was in June but she has never changed the comments. Wow...
Posted by: REO Magnet

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/25/11 08:43 PM

"Very nice gardener with a lot of Fruit trees planted. Newly remold,"

Is this their way of saying that the occupants are staying?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/27/11 08:07 PM

Not a comment but a price change I just saw on a comp.
was $122,000
changed to $114,083.42
really? That extra 42 cents going to help the seller.
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/27/11 09:57 PM

MassBPOer - their plan worked, it caught your attention. They did that to make it stand out from all the list prices that end in 900. Old trick taught by some real estate guru.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/27/11 11:49 PM

No, I only saw it because it was a comp that I used and that is not the price it is at now. Most tricksters will drop the price $500, wait a couple days drop price another $500 and so on for many days so that it will get send out to clients on automated email every time there is a price change.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/11 05:31 PM

New in 1900
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/11 09:43 PM

I penned these words for one of my REO properties this morining....not stupid but I just felt like sharing. It gets better toward the end.

Doll house rancher on quiet neighborhood street. Little traffic comes down this road. Quiet backyard and paved driveway for off street parking. Exterior is low maint. vinyl and partial brick. Inside offers solid hardwood floors, a large laundry room, a master bed with a dedicated 1/2 bath, and a roomy eat in kitchen with access to the rear deck. If you like to cook out or have morning coffee while reading your newspaper with the birds and squirrels, this is an ideal home. You'll have time for a second cup since it is so close to work!
Posted by: bourbonduke

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/09/11 09:38 AM

This was the mls entry from one of our agents, "A beautiful historic home restored with wood from Amish forests."
Which part of the USA has Amish Forests?
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/09/11 11:49 AM

Pennsylvania.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/15/11 02:22 PM

Living Area Disclosures: 336 square feet of unfinished bonus room included in living area.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/17/11 11:38 AM

NEED A PLACE TO WORK ON THE TOYS......LOOK NO MORE
Posted by: Chris_S

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/18/11 08:27 AM

I hate the word "cozy"
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/11 12:05 PM

Hey everyone!

Been a while, but this one reminded me of you guys.

"Bring your fuzziest buyers...".

So many questions.

Ryan
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/11 07:03 PM

Saw this one today. "located on a cornered lot"
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/11 07:50 PM

Originally Posted By: CALIF DREAMING
Saw this one today. "located on a cornered lot"
Back up or I start swinging!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/24/11 09:06 AM

BE LIKE COLUMBUS Discover this 3 bedroom, raised ranch.
Posted by: texasgal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/28/11 09:03 PM

Originally Posted By: Ryan
"Bring your fuzziest buyers...".


Maybe the house is suitable for the Muppets to live in?
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/06/11 02:47 PM

"great long driveway leading to the back yard where there is a guest house quarters in the back next to the garage which seems to be a Grandfather Inn."
Posted by: Bob Beauregard

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/08/11 06:41 PM

"Dishwasher previously removed, but the space remains."
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/03/12 01:06 PM

Not a comment but a listing with 29 photos but no photo of exterior. All interior and 1 showing the commuter rail sign about 1 mile away. Really?
Posted by: cleonard

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/04/12 07:03 AM

I get that alot there. Why would you want to show a picture of the exterior if its in disrepair? Why not highlight the interior or any external highlights like close proximity to public transportation? Better than not putting any pictures up.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/04/12 07:58 AM

Home is new, just built 2011. Excellent condition.
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/04/12 11:40 AM

It gives me fits when there's no exterior shot. My assumption and the majority of buyers' assumptions are that the exterior is ragged out. So, they won't even consider looking at the property. There can be no other legitimate reason for not including an exterior shot.

EXCEPT, I have had properties where no matter where I stood, or how far away I got, or how close I got that the house just looked awful. Many times exterior shots will show no trees, or dead trees/landscaping, or a clumsy looking style, dopey-looking windows-- but you have to have SOME sort of exterior shot, or buyers make the above assumptions.

I have a colleague who once brought a real tall step ladder with her to climb up on to get a more pleasing shot of the exterior, framing out most of the detrimental aspects of the exterior.
Posted by: sacbroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/04/12 04:09 PM

people who write alot. A lot, two words. Two, not one. Two. drivesmecrazy.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/09/12 01:01 PM

"Pinch your cheeks cute." A phrase started by a local realtor who is making puffery an art form. Now being copied by several other agents. Makes me want to gag.
Posted by: Perky_REALTOR

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/11/12 06:17 PM

This one got a few laughs today in the office. From the private remarks:

"Owner occupied, but owner is blind so you have to knock loudly."

Oh and for a touch of irony, there is no photo.
Posted by: Dave23

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/11/12 07:58 PM

Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
This one got a few laughs today in the office. From the private remarks:

"Owner occupied, but owner is blind so you have to knock loudly."

Oh and for a touch of irony, there is no photo.


ROFL, knock loudly so he can see you...are we being mean now? frown
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/11/12 09:49 PM

Originally Posted By: Dave23
Originally Posted By: Perky_REALTOR
This one got a few laughs today in the office. From the private remarks:

"Owner occupied, but owner is blind so you have to knock loudly."

Oh and for a touch of irony, there is no photo.


ROFL, knock loudly so he can see you...are we being mean now? frown

Why isn't the listing agent showing the house if the owner is blind? What a jerk.
Posted by: Gary Boren

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/13/12 03:00 PM

Investor former rental property. Not sure if the comment is due to a foul odor or if the previous tentant's name was Dahmer?

"All appliances stay. Do not open refrigerator"
Posted by: Dave23

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/13/12 06:22 PM

Originally Posted By: Uncle Salty


"All appliances stay. Do not open refrigerator"

How many are reading that and saying..."oh man, I dont want to but I have to open it now."
Posted by: BpoBill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/12 10:22 AM

"NICE 3 BEDROOM BRICK RANCH ON CLOSE TO AN ACRE!"

Lot size is 49x173 which is 8,477 square feet.
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/12 03:26 PM

Perhaps they meant to not say 'on close to' and just 'close to' an acre - the lot next door is an acre in size.
Posted by: Cool guy

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/12 06:04 PM

lol this thread is great. I feel like using some of these just for the luls.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/18/12 04:39 PM

Saw this one on a HUD REO listing today from 2007 -

Seller is Secretary of State
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/18/12 08:09 PM

Tee-hee-hee-hee - not one of mine!
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/21/12 05:15 AM

Not this way in the MLS -- But

Drove by a listing yesterday with 2 signs in the yard
First one had a sign rider "Reduced"
Second one had a sign rider "Reduced Even More"

Next one will probably have a sign rider "Drastic Reduction"

Then "Free"
Posted by: Gary Boren

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/21/12 07:27 AM

Short Sale. This property currently has a family living there apart from the owner's knowledge. House may be occupied. Please knock before entering and be wary of the dog. Dog does not seem hostile in any way. Just be aware the dog is in the house.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/21/12 07:47 AM

If there's any perceived danger . . . . un-leashed dogs, rotting floors, aromatic mold, psychotic people, I always toss in a little disclaimer like "enter at your own risk" just to defer those future lawsuits. Why? Cuz I'm a chicken; but I don't want to altogether discourage showings.
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/22/12 07:29 PM

Oh, I like that second sign, "Reduced Even More". Gotta get one of those just for fun.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/24/12 07:17 PM

You might like this one. Condomaximum
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/12 05:00 AM

Saw one today that said "Possible short sale, hurry before the bank beats you to it"
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/26/12 01:56 PM

Just saw this for an owner occupied listing.
INVESTORS ONLY!
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/05/12 03:43 PM

"It's time to downsize." On a house that's 3,892 sf.
Posted by: MHT

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/05/12 04:43 PM

Originally Posted By: neudot
"It's time to downsize." On a house that's 3,892 sf.


Wish I was looking to "downsize"!!
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/15/12 06:04 PM

Doing a BPO on a 750K SFR and noted the listing agent's remarks.....

"DO NOT DISTRUB OCCUPANTS. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CAR. DO NOT STEP ONTO PROPERTY. DRIVE BY ONLY"

Of course, the agent's scary tactics worked because the listing and selling agent is one and the same.
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/15/12 07:08 PM

I wonder if the seller knows.... I'd be reporting THAT to my MLS as THAT doesn't sound 'cooperative' in 'co-brokering' at all.
Posted by: GreenvilleLiving

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/16/12 11:22 AM

These are hilarious! What gets me is when an agent misspells the city's name. It's amazing that people don't proof read their listings!
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/16/12 11:51 AM

Originally Posted By: CALIF DREAMING
". . . DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CAR . . ."

I've never been accused of that.

I have sometimes left a Business Card; but never my vehicle.

So what do you do, get out and hail a Cab, and wait for a call back ?
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/16/12 03:34 PM

Quote:
Family living with private elbow space.
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/16/12 03:59 PM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
Originally Posted By: CALIF DREAMING
". . . DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CAR . . ."

I've never been accused of that.

I have sometimes left a Business Card; but never my vehicle.

So what do you do, get out and hail a Cab, and wait for a call back ?


{{{Screaming with laughter}}} You made my day! Again.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/16/12 04:52 PM

Originally Posted By: DueDiligence
{{{Screaming with laughter}}} You made my day! Again.

You are too kind !

It's a funny business, isn't it ?

Normal people will never understand.
Posted by: Adam Benedict

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/29/12 08:34 PM

Maybe this photo comment already made it to this thread, but I'm not going through 72 pages to find out... but a local agent here in Minnesota wrote, something along the lines of "a perfect space to use your one eyed monster" referring to a computer. COME ON NOW!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/12 06:19 PM

Maybe not referring to computer. Maybe her husband is missing one eye. Sorry couldn't help it.
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/02/12 07:59 PM

This sounds like a more personal, one-eyed monster...a really, really personal matter.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/03/12 08:34 AM

HAPPY FACE TIMES 2. (Sad Face times 2.) Happy Face 1: It's Bank Owned. Can do QUICK response, QUICK closing. Happy Face 2: Rock bottom LOW PRICE is below every other unit sold in last year. Sad Face 1: Unit is fixer. Needs help. Needs all cash buyer or buyer with heavy, heavy down payment. Sad face 2: unit cannot be rented; owner occupant only allowed
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/04/12 07:01 PM

On one REO I have coming up, I all but suggested to AM to tear it down - I'd love to put "it'll take your breath away." [stinks inside]
Posted by: REO Magnet

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/12 09:35 PM

"Turkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Turkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Completely remodeld home"

I'm assuming they meant to say turnkey.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/19/12 04:01 PM

Took a break from BPO's to post this one I just read.

"Summit potential buyer's complete offers only"

I will now press the "summit" button below to post.
Posted by: sammyfrank

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/10/12 08:28 PM

[quote=Dave23][quote=Uncle Salty]

"All appliances stay. Do not open refrigerator"
[/quote]
How many are reading that and saying..."oh man, I dont want to but I have to open it now." [/quote]

I showed a foreclosure once and the husband kept saying "I really want to open that refrigerator. The door was closed and the electricity was off. We repeatedly told him "do not open the door" but he had to. The refrigerator? Was stacked from top to bottom with eggs. And yes, we cleared out of there pretty quickly.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/26/12 01:55 PM

This cute 'n cozy ranch definitely smiles at you...

Just what I need.
Posted by: TheBPOExpert

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/08/12 02:54 PM

no kidding. I'm amazed by the agents who mispell obvious comments when they are representing a buyer. It's amazing that the buyers stay with them
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/08/12 10:11 AM

Just saw this in comments section for a new listing.
Easy access oat all needs.

Not sure what that means.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/08/12 11:09 AM

I think it means there's an easy access goat for all your needs.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/08/12 11:19 AM

Or maybe something to do with a moat
Posted by: DueDiligence

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/08/12 11:46 AM

Originally Posted By: KingofBPOs
no kidding. I'm amazed by the agents who mispell obvious comments when they are representing a buyer. It's amazing that the buyers stay with them


Wouldn't that be "misspell"? And wouldn't MLS comments be in conjunction with representing a seller and not a buyer?
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/18/12 05:06 PM

Listing agent's directions to a central Los Angeles property:

Keep left at the fork, follow signs for San Pedro and merge onto I-110 S, Take exit 20A for Martin Luther King Junior Boulevard toward Coliseum, Turn right onto

That's right, it stops at onto....then you are on your own!!!!!
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/19/12 04:35 AM

I love seeing directions that don't have a starting point. Especially when they are a long way from the agent's office. "Take the interstate 32 miles to Exit #54, then left and 2 rights." Our MLS made a recent change so that putting something like "Use mapquest" is now fined.
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/19/12 10:31 PM

TOTALLY PIMPED OUT PAD, NEW STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES, REAL HARDWOOD FLOORS, FRESHLY PAINTED...........


Fair Housing violation?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/20/12 08:12 PM

With so many people out of work now the Pimps are really making big bucks now and updating their homes.Sorry couldn't help it.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/29/12 12:15 PM

Just saw this on a listing.
"A penny invested is two pennies earned."
Wow 100% interest.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/05/12 10:11 PM

Just saw this.
ARE YOU STILL A SLAVE TO RENT?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/05/12 10:28 PM

Forgot to ad, same listing as prior post.
remolded ranch
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/06/12 11:18 PM

One of our local stellar Freddie Mac agents:


"absolutely gorgeous interior. New paint, new flooring...yada,yada".

Guess how many interior photos? NONE! Just one of the front of the house. And we wonder why it has been on the market for a year now.
Posted by: Rocky

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/28/12 10:04 AM

"Property needs roof repair and is ready for you to fish"
Posted by: Kjmendy

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/29/12 08:34 AM

Originally Posted By: Rocky
"Property needs roof repair and is ready for you to fish"


That's a unique way of saying the home is currently flooded!
Posted by: Rocky

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/30/12 11:45 PM

Maybe I'm just a bad mind reader, but I think what they meant to say was more along the lines of "Property needs roof repair and is <then> ready for you to fi<ni>sh". Or maybe I'm just a big guppie. Anything's possible.
Posted by: Alexandra

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/13/12 06:42 PM

"FEW LITTLE NIPS AND *UCKS WILL BE NEEDED"

Think he meant to say "TUCKS", but he used an 'F'.
Posted by: sacbroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/14/12 05:11 PM

"tenant has large permitted medicinal Marijuana garden in rear yard do not disturb, plants to be removed prior to COE" wow.
Posted by: LisaBolanos

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/14/12 06:18 PM

This is a great forum. I get so annoyed at some of the things I see agents write. Quite is one that really bugs me. I saw the very first post and that one is a pet peeve of mine. It is QUIET. LOL.
Posted by: 75Corvette

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/14/12 10:45 PM

Originally Posted By: Alexandra
"FEW LITTLE NIPS AND *UCKS WILL BE NEEDED"

Think he meant to say "TUCKS", but he used an 'F'.


Oh boy, that one gets the dirty mind racing! LMAO
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/19/12 10:06 AM

This building has been kepped up.
Posted by: Jessm

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/21/12 08:22 PM

My all-time favorite comment was by a realtor who listed a house with a 2,000 sq foot deck (that's right - 2000 square feet) and added it to the total square footage. On a search the house showed up as over 4,000 but was clearly not that large of a home. I'm ornery and turn gross errors into the MLS for them to change.

I understand there will be puffery but that was just too much.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/21/12 11:41 PM

When was the last time you saw a two story A-frame in the city? According to our MLS, we have tons of them........
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/21/12 11:54 PM

Originally Posted By: CandyMan
When was the last time you saw a two story A-frame in the city? According to our MLS, we have tons of them........


are they listed as "attached" too? You know, attached to the ground? We have lots of attached homes here.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/22/12 12:15 AM

I can see I don't have a corner on "not so smart agents"....another good one is a two story ranch.......I've been in this business since '78.........learn something new every day.......lol.
Posted by: realwebs

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/07/12 07:48 PM

This thread is a riot! It runs since 2007. Triple Wow!
Posted by: Jessm

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/08/12 01:39 AM

I just did a whole bunch where different agents put the garage was detached. I'm sorry, but the MLS picture clearly shows the garage firmly attached to the house. Do a little proofing people! Have a little pride in your work!

/rant over....for now.
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/08/12 10:40 PM

I want to shake every Realtor who thinks any single level house under 1,000 square feet is a bungalow!!! NO!
The whole attached vs. detached thing is getting out of control too. I actually called an agent once and his response was "well, it is attached to the foundation". Excellent......
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/12 08:48 AM

In my area, many agents don't know the difference between a Cape Cod and a bungalow. If I am looking for bungalow comps I search all home styles. If there are bedrooms on the second floor, an agent might call a bungalow a 2 story or a Cape. If all the rooms are on the first floor they might call it a ranch. Very few can correctly identify a true bungalow. And some houses don't fit nicely into an established style.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/12 10:17 AM

This has become a business of such scientific precision! Remember, we''re not building the Titan Missile over here.

I don't trust anything I read anyway. Ranch, Bungalow, Cape, Chalet, Farmhouse, or for a little bit of everything, we offer up the Eclectic . . . . that's a little bit of everything, a mish-mash, a hodge-podge, or a jumble.

Lots of times we see Greek Revival; but it's really Nouveau-Ugly.

I just search on the basis of GLAAG, AGE and LOT size. They can call it anything they want; then I'll match it up with what the Subject is.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/12 01:08 PM

I find that in this era of political correctness...one should never refer to the "age" of a house. In most of my work now I say "year built"...thanks to the relentless PC police built into some websites.
Posted by: Dodger52

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/09/12 07:23 PM

Ran across this one the other day... "completely remodeled in 1990" If it wasn't a typo do they think a 20 yr old remodel is a selling point? or were they just warning us that it is dated?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/20/12 09:18 AM

Saw this for a listing on a lockbox.
Have buyer do drive-by as lot plan has very long driveway!
Posted by: Doin' bpose

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/21/12 12:51 PM

This does not qualify as stupid. However, it is very interesting. I think there is a doctoral dissertation in this one.
IMPRESS YOUR MOM!!
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/21/12 03:10 PM

This one hit me funny today.

"Breathtaking view of a double lot."
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/22/12 11:08 PM

"... property still under remodelation please excuse any inconvenience seller is working to complete work asap..."

Yup, you read that right... remodelation. I can give the agent a pass on "working to complete the work", but remodelation? Really??!!
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/26/12 12:29 PM

Quote:
Property across road could be a miner subdivision!!!!


If we only had some mines...or some miners.
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/28/12 02:32 PM

I am waiting for family room to be one of the against the rules words.
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/29/12 09:13 AM

Originally Posted By: 12 step 4 BPOs?
I am waiting for family room to be one of the against the rules words.


Rec room.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/31/12 12:39 PM

Not a stupid comment. But just saw a 16 room house that sold with finished basement 5 bathrooms 6 car garage. Only 1 photo.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/31/12 12:56 PM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Not a stupid comment. But just saw a 16 room house that sold with finished basement 5 bathrooms 6 car garage. Only 1 photo.

"Sold" is past tense, so I guess the proof is in the pudding.

Property characteristics can sell a property by themselves even without a picture, if that's what someone is looking for.

How many days did it languish on the market, in a state of photo deprivation ?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/31/12 08:33 PM

Vermont, as usual you are correct. Original listing had 9 photos
Listed at 2,189,000 got cancelled after 609 DOM. Then listed with new broker at 1,850,000 for 367 DOM and expired. Then reactivated with same broker still at 1,850,000 for 34 DOM. So TOTAL DOM 1010. Bought by A New England Patriot for 1,500,000 a short drive to Gillette Stadium.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/31/12 08:47 PM

Thank you for your kind words.

1010 Days on the Market is probably pretty good market exposure.

I suppose the Buyer just saw the sign while driving to the stadium, no ?

Location, location, location (and having the Listing at the right time) !

That stadium was called Foxborough when I lived in Mass . . . . but times and fortunes change.

Is the Chrysler Building in Mannhattan now called the Fiat Building ?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/31/12 09:21 PM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
Thank you for your kind words.

1010 Days on the Market is probably pretty good market exposure.

I suppose the Buyer just saw the sign while driving to the stadium, no ?

Location, location, location (and having the Listing at the right time) !

That stadium was called Foxborough when I lived in Mass . . . . but times and fortunes change.



Is the Chrysler Building in Mannhattan now called the Fiat Building ?

Yes it cost a fortune now to go the games there. Haven't been to one in years. But I did go to the game in 1973 when OJ Simpson set the rushing record and also in 1974 when OJ Simpson was the first player to ever be ejected from an NFL game for taking his helmet off and swinging it at the players.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/12 05:02 AM

I actually went to Pats games in 1960, their first year in the old AFL. Games were played at Boston university Field (later Nickerson Field) on Friday night. This was the former Braves Field and the grandstand on one sideline was the old baseball bleachers (cheap seats) for the Braves.
BTW, wasn't the original stadium in Foxborough called Schaeffer Stadium?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/12 05:25 AM

Originally Posted By: PA Roadkill
". . . BTW, wasn't the original stadium in Foxborough called Schaeffer ? . . ."

It was at some point; maybe at the beginning.

Was/is Schaeffer Brewing in Providence ?

I know that there wasn't anything in Foxborough Pre-Pats, and they built it near the junction of I-95 and I-495 to maximize attendance from Providence, Worcester and Boston when land and gas were cheap, while traffic congestion/parking was a concern while the young franchise wanted to exploit itself as the sole Football Representative for all six New England States . . . . and NOT just the City of Boston (which was having those identity/busing issues at the same time).

Thinking about that area reminds me that I once had an International Client who repeatedly said they had a "Prophet Center" in One Socket, Rhode Island !

I always thought that was funny; but maybe you had to be there ?
Posted by: JackREO

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/12 09:16 AM

Back in the early days of the staduim I used to tow the illegally parked cars. What a circus that was. Drunk driving arrests, fatal accidents. It's only since the new stadium was built that the traffic hasn't been a nightmare. The rock concerts were the worst. You could get high just by being downwind.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/01/12 02:19 PM

Dale - Schaeffer in Providence maybe, the Sox were sponsored by Narragansett Beer (Curt Gowdy saying Have a Gansett)

Over the years, the Pats played at BU, Harvard, BC, and Fenway (maybe not in that order). They wanted to stay close to the city but couldn't get any money or suitable site in the city. If I remember correctly, they wanted a site near the JFK library in Dorchester but it never got done. Part of the problem was that the "owners" at that time were the Sullivan's who were really not the rich captains of industry types that started the AFL like Lamar Hunt or the guy who built the Astrodome (Roy somebody?)
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/05/12 07:57 PM

Just saw this.
Great location and big yard put the frosing on the cake.
Posted by: CandyMan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/05/12 08:14 PM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Just saw this.
Great location and big yard put the frosing on the cake.


Frosing?.........Would that be like drool?...lol.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/05/12 09:11 PM

NO I think he needs to buy a consonant. He should Call Vanna White.
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/08/12 05:54 PM

"Short Sale Subject to bank Approval. Agent be aware this property in unfinished contractions according to the city, the previous owner has most of the constructions illegal..."

coffee... thru... nose... hurts
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/15/12 03:51 PM

Just saw this.
Solid Colonial, needs a hug and a kiss.
Posted by: Dave23

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/20/12 10:40 PM

Hmmmm...

Quote:
Lock box code is #8986 or side door is also unlocked.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/12 10:14 AM

Just saw this.

PLEASE DO NOT E-MAIL THIS OFFICE. YOU MUST HAVE PERMISSION TO DO SO.
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/23/12 07:23 PM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Just saw this.

PLEASE DO NOT E-MAIL THIS OFFICE. YOU MUST HAVE PERMISSION TO DO SO.


let's all email them!!
Posted by: Jack Liebsch II

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/29/12 07:24 AM

What irritates me is when the MLS provides specific data fields for searching, with error correction, but many agents will leave those fields blank and use the comments instead. A good example of this are communities which are restricted to 55+. The restriction field is left blank and agents will use numerous variations such as 55+, over 55, 55 plus, 55plus, older than 54, etc, and may only include it in public comments, broker comments, or addenda. Makes filtering for or excluding such properties rather challenging.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/05/12 06:02 PM

Just saw this.
Great opportunity for someone who is hany
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/11/12 11:48 AM

Here's a good come on for a Vintage 1862 Property:

"Much authenticity threw & threw; a truely historic spot."

The Woman listing it is a top producer; but grammar isn't her forté.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/12 04:04 PM

Just saw this
A VERY SPECIOUS Home
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/17/12 11:33 PM

new eclectic plugs


So, are they trendy, mismatched, or electrical outlets?
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/07/13 05:41 PM

The listing agent states that the listing price excludes:

CHANDELIER AT DINING ROOM/ BIDET TOILET AT UPSTAIRS BATHROOM/WATER PURIFIER AT KITCHEN


hmmm....
Posted by: Artiste

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/08/13 09:10 AM

"Topeka you found it!"
Posted by: CentralFLbeepo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/09/13 09:04 AM

Stupidest MLS comments: No comments at all and only one single photo...of the front of the home, copied from Google Maps.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/09/13 06:34 PM

Just saw this.

Subject to short alse approval
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/10/13 05:19 AM

Saw this one yesterday "Don't climb the pull down steps to the attic if you weigh more than 200 pounds"
Posted by: Bunny

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/11/13 05:50 PM

Cozy home with a lot of character; repairs needed to bring home to FHA guidelines: Repair/replace damaged exterior AC (per PCR, not functional); Repair damaged sewer line in basement (per PCR split soil line in basement); and repair/replace damaged downspout & splashblock.

Really, what a great find :-))
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/13 03:47 PM

This comment not under the stupid category but closer to the TMI category.

"Joining the family room there is a room for collectables it is now dedicated to Coca-Cola collectables"
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/13 04:59 PM

Originally Posted By: CALIF DREAMING
"Joining the family room there is a room for collectables it is now dedicated to Coca-Cola collectables"

Might that be the area where they store their returnable soda bottles ?
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/13 06:05 PM

LOL...never thought about that as the empties could be stored in the old wooden crates too.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/13 07:38 PM

Originally Posted By: CALIF DREAMING
LOL...never thought about that as the empties could be stored in the old wooden crates too.

Oh yes . . . . the truly exclusive digs always have special quarters reserved just for their redemptions.
Posted by: Rennie

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/16/13 09:25 PM

fenced, sprinklered yard.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/25/13 05:20 PM


"Agents this property is located on a major street. Its very secure for children however do take into consideration if your buyers are fuzy."
Posted by: Gary Boren

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/13 07:26 AM

"HOA dues is lawn, snot, trash and exterior painting."

That is what I call an HOA. Even wipes your nose for you!
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/30/13 11:28 AM

Originally Posted By: Uncle Salty
"HOA dues is lawn, snot, trash and exterior painting."

That is what I call an HOA. Even wipes your nose for you!


Hey its winter I just shoveled about 8 inches of snot in my driveway. LOL Agent must have gotten the flu.
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/12/13 01:35 PM

Comment in MLS Remarks:

"BEWARE OF MOLD IN HOME due to leaking roof. Buyer Fell Through."

I don't know if the deal fell through or if the buyer fell through.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/13/13 03:32 PM

LOL....this is absolutely hilarious.
Posted by: superagent

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/23/13 10:09 AM

"INCORPORATING TENANT do not access home until you talk to agent. Drive by first and call."
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/24/13 11:53 AM

Just saw this.
All interior photos are of an existing similar home.
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/13 05:15 PM

This is a dangerous thread. I can't catch up on reading it without laughing so hard my stomach hurts & I can barely catch my breath. I think this thread should come with a "Warning" label - like a rollercoaster ride does. wink
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/25/13 10:28 PM

Ah...good times! Just read through all 78 pages (again!). BPOs were slow the last few days..needed something to do.
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/13 09:40 AM

Pellet stove needs a broken part to function.
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/13 10:50 AM

"tons of upgrades new furnace, flooring, replacement windows, crown molding and insulted throughout."

They insulted my house
Posted by: Joe Hayden

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/22/13 08:56 AM

I LOVE ANY MLS REMARKS THAT YELL AT YOU... IT MAKES IT SO PLEASING TO READ AND UNDERSTAND!!
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/22/13 11:35 AM

Garage disposal does not work. Well, I guess a disposal has a hard time after it's chewed up a garage or two.
Posted by: CentralFLbeepo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/24/13 01:02 AM

Over sized garbage fits two cars plus golf cart.

Must be one of those new expandable flexi-trash bags.
Posted by: CentralFLbeepo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/24/13 01:06 AM

"Great duplex, both sides identical. Rent Unit A: $500 incl. utilities. Rent Unit B: $795 excl. utilities (government pays rent for tenant)".

(Duplex offered for sale and sold with tenants already in place).
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/24/13 02:21 AM

I wonder how typical that is with the Gov't (Section 8?) paying 60% more for the "identical" unit PLUS Utilities ?

TaxPayers would complain if they only knew.
Posted by: 12 step 4 BPOs?

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/24/13 09:49 PM

The following notes are in the PRIVATE (Realtor only) section of the listing and nowhere in the PUBLIC area:
<br>
The information provided herein is not a warranty of any kind! Occasionally, files are not updated and misinformation occurs. Have your agent verify all information on this document.
Posted by: neudot

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/11/13 11:22 AM

"Barn holds two Volvo station wagons handily!" Other brands, not so much, I guess.
Posted by: SB Cardinal

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/03/13 03:21 PM

"Home need some reparations..."
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/19/13 02:41 PM

Not sure if this is stupid. hopefully you are wearing socks
Please remove shoes before walking on new carpet.
Posted by: NextStep

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/05/13 04:09 AM

The local MLS has decided to start having webinars. The first one is on Wednesday. They are holding a webinar to discus accuracy. That's right folks, to DISCUS accuracy.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/06/13 04:01 AM

Just saw this.
Don't judge this book by its cover!
I guess they are selling books on the MLS website now.LOL
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/06/13 03:47 PM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Not sure if this is stupid. hopefully you are wearing socks
Please remove shoes before walking on new carpet.


But, but, but . . . new carpet feels sooo good to bare toes!
Posted by: City Girl

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/22/13 01:29 PM

"Caution -some exposed wires...Shot Sale"
Posted by: PA Roadkill

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/30/13 11:55 PM

" The kitchen has been completely remolded "

New mold is better than old mold?
Posted by: Gary Boren

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/31/13 02:21 AM

4 out of 5 dentists suggest that providing feedback on one of our listings will help you sleep better at night. Try it! These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/31/13 02:42 AM

Just saw this
Style: Colonial, Gambrel /Dutch
I guess they just dont know.
It is a Colonial Had to drive there for photos.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/06/13 05:14 PM

Just Saw This.

NEEDS A SOME WORK TO BRING THIS HOME BACK TO IT'S ORIGINAL SPENDOR

I wonder how much they spent? LOL
Posted by: NextStep

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/09/13 02:34 AM

"Agent owned....Home needs some work but could be moved into the way it is."
Posted by: jsteinhomes

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/15/13 09:24 AM

This has probably been mentioned before, but I don't have the patience to read through all 79 pages:

"Make your appointment today! This Gem Won't Last!"

Meanwhile: Days on Market: 251 (Avg. is 90 'round these parts)

Why so many agents set themselves up to fail is absolutely beyond me.
Posted by: Neal M

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/15/13 11:27 AM

I alway liked the ones that said something like "Garage Code is 1234"
Posted by: jsteinhomes

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/18/13 03:46 AM

Sometimes, I wish there was no "Code of Ethics". I'd love to walk up to some of these sellers, show them the crap work their agent is doing on their behalf and say "see how that idiot is representing you?!?!?"
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/18/13 04:36 AM

I do that . . . . but only after their Listing has expired.

The Code of Ethics prohibits our making disparaging remarks, or demeaning the character of our fellow REALTORS® . . . . unless the comments being made are TRUE.

I never seem to have a problem producing disparaging and demeaning remarks, which also happen to be truthful. But I'm always very careful in deciding WHEN and WHERE to deliver them; I usually save them until the time is just right !

Like they say, "If the shoe fits; then go back and buy the other one !"
Posted by: jsteinhomes

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/18/13 06:42 AM

I'm not saying I would do it, but it takes all of my strength sometimes to resist the urge. It simply amazes me how inept some people can be, and it gives the rest of us a very bad name.
Posted by: Neal M

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/18/13 07:39 AM

You just have to make sure that your character remain honest and that you provide good service. Those that don't tend to get weeded out over time.
Posted by: MArealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/21/13 03:27 PM

"a joy to show"..... a joy?
Posted by: Gary Boren

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/13 11:10 AM

Move-in-ready-fenced yard w/4 storage shelves-finished backyard-can stay or be removed-full basement-2 car garage.
Posted by: Gary Boren

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/13 11:11 AM

This Home Is Solidly Constructed With A Feeling Of Warmth And Comfort.
Posted by: alice

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/28/13 04:24 PM

I ran across one today that says "spare eating space". Lord help some of these people.
Posted by: alice

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/30/13 12:42 PM

today I saw one, 'sunk in tub'
Posted by: Ryan

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/31/13 05:25 AM

Quote:
replacement windows and doors, dry full basement with updated mechanics, mostly new copper plumbing, laundry shoot........


This is extremely rare for a property in New York due to tightened gun regulations and a well funded laundromat lobby. Hopefully the shoot is grandfathered into the sale and will not require state permits to continue operation.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/03/13 02:22 PM

Just saw this.
CALL THE COPS THIS IS A STEAL
Posted by: Astara Blackwell

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/06/13 06:57 AM

Oh, that IS funny! ha ha...
Perhaps they just have a sense of humor? Hum? ;-)
Posted by: Astara Blackwell

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/06/13 07:00 AM

I agree. I wish we could contact the seller on listings that are over 6 months old, and see if we could help them, but all the agents would have a hissy fit about it.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/06/13 12:39 PM

Originally Posted By: Astara Blackwell
I agree. I wish we could contact the seller on listings that are over 6 months old, and see if we could help them, but all the agents would have a hissy fit about it.

Do you have any Listings of your own ?
Posted by: Gary Boren

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/11/13 08:44 AM

Not really stupid but I found the honesty refreshing.

"Priced to reflect its pathetic condition"
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/15/13 02:28 AM

I'm not saying this is "stupid" but it was kind'a humorous (at least for me) and since I can't share it with anyone around here; I'll share it with you.

Back in June, I went to do a Interior BPO on a Three Family REO up near the Canadian Border. It was vacant and on a Lock Box. When I got there, the Lock Box had been broken open and the Key was gone; but the place was still all locked up.

So I spoke with the POC . . . . an Agent about 65 or 70 miles away from the Subject and she says she knows about the problem and had obtained a replacement key. She says she has sent the replacement key to another Broker located up in the Town where the property is located; and because she "hasn't had time to get up there", and she hints that maybe she could send me a new Lock Box and I could put it on for her?

She's quite a charmer (cute little thing, and very good on the phone), but I resisted the thought of easing her burden (put your own Lock Boxes on your distant Listings!), and I quickly took the opportunity instead to just contact the other Broker "BM" who still had possession of the Key. They loaned me the Key, I did my inspection and valuation, and I returned it to them, the Broker from whom I obtained it . . . . end of story, I thought.

Now it's September, and the POC/Listing Agent calls and wants to know if I "remember the Lock Box Code that you used to get into that place back in June ?"

"Why no; if you'll recall, I didn't use the Lock Box because it had been vandalized. I borrowed the key from "BM" and returned it . . . . there was no working Lock Box at the time."

"Well there is one now, and it has my only key; but I forget the Code that I told "someone" to set it to. Maybe they didn't set it up right ?"

"I didn't do it for you. Maybe "BM" did it? I guess you'll have to arrange for someone else to now go and break this new Lock Box open to get the Key out, won't you ?"

"I was afraid you'd say that !"

You can be a good Charmer (it's a very valuable asset) and get other people to do your bidding, but you still have to take good notes; especially on properties so far away that you don't want to visit them yourself. You're going to burn thru a lot of Lock Boxes at this rate !

Maybe you had to be there; but I thought it was funny.
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/18/13 10:10 AM

Came across this interesting tidbit today:

"*couch in tree being danger, being removed*"

Hmmm!
Posted by: LVNV REO GAL

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/26/13 07:26 AM

NO CALLS BEFORE 9AM!! NO SHOWINGS AFTER 6PM!! Agent's home is cluttered. Seller is in the processes of cleaning out. Please let Buyer's know to look past the clutter to see the potential of this home. This is a short sale and being sold "As-Is". Price reflects condition. Dishwasher, sprinklers & garage door do not work & Seller will not repair.
What a deal, get the seller to clean up the agent's house!!
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/30/13 11:06 AM

90 year old owner passed away on the property for natural reasons........occupancy shows as "owner occupied"
Posted by: Bigtoe

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/02/13 07:01 AM

Originally Posted By: CALIF DREAMING
90 year old owner passed away on the property for natural reasons........occupancy shows as "owner occupied"


Maybe the owner is still there.
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/13/13 02:36 PM

Just saw this.

Cleaning off the car will be a forgotten memory with your one car garage
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/30/13 05:31 AM

Just saw this.

Buyer's loss is your gain

So what do I gain??? LOL.
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/31/13 04:04 AM

Originally Posted By: Bigtoe
Originally Posted By: CALIF DREAMING
90 year old owner passed away on the property for natural reasons........occupancy shows as "owner occupied"


Maybe the owner is still there.


Perhaps in spirit only. Would they then have to disclose it may be haunted?
Posted by: MassBPOer

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/24/13 03:01 AM

Just saw this.
Please note COWS NOT INCLUDED
Guess the new owners will have to buy there own milk LOL.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/24/13 03:30 AM

Originally Posted By: MassBPOer
Just saw this.
Please note COWS NOT INCLUDED
Guess the new owners will have to buy there own milk LOL.

The Zoning Bylaws of a Town near me has such a prohibition too.

You must have a minimum of 2 acres in order to keep a Cow or a Horse.

The powers that be would probably like to amend those rules to prevent people from having Chickens, Llamas Pigs and Alpacas too . . . . such excitement !
Posted by: 75Corvette

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/24/13 05:00 AM

Originally Posted By: Vermont
The powers that be would probably like to amend those rules to prevent people from having Chickens, Llamas Pigs and Alpacas too . . . . such excitement !


I have over 4 acres, live 2 miles from town, am surrounded by farmland, and am rural in every sense of the word except for zoning---Residential. So, I had to pay $250 to my township for the privilege of owning more than two Alpacas, plus go through a zoning appeals process. It was fine---this is very much a farming community---it just seemed a bit much, and I hate paying for the "privilege" of doing something on my own land. It did bring us closer to our neighbors, though (all of whom were very supportive). Strangely enough, I can own as many chickens as I want (we have about 30 right now) as long as they have a coop, without any zoning changes.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/24/13 05:11 AM

I just sold a place last month (on 26 acres) in a Zoned community, and the Seller made a point of telling the Buyers that her 5' X 6' Chicken Coop was all proper and that she had complied with the Law and obtained the necessary Building Permit BEFORE she had engaged in its construction . . . . just in case someone ever challeged its propriety.

The Buyers were relieved and found that all somewhat humorous, but also mite foreboding, all at the same time . . . . like can you imagine what would be in store for them were they to ever attempt some larger scale project ?
Posted by: gitmonee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/24/13 11:41 AM

Quote:
best quality built French Mansion bring only qualified buyer no photo allowed no lookie looki please email buyer proof of fund prior to making Appointment tks



It's too bad the real estate license exam is a super low barrier to entry.
You would think 6 year olds are running the show.
Posted by: VABroker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/31/13 02:09 PM

Shoot - Just had one agent recently - NEVER did a transaction - had NO idea what the EMD was for and didn't think it necessary on 100% financing/seller-paid closing costs...duh...
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/14/14 04:41 PM

Main photo of the house was taken after dark. Broker's vehicle is in the driveway with bright headlights shining on the garage door. No, it's not appealing - of course!

Remarks block reads: "Easy to show!"

And get this: this house was listed in mid-Sept and that hideous front picture has yet to be replaced.
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/15/14 06:12 PM

Found another winner for its great photos!
1. Curb shot of front of house
2. 5' closer to front of house from curb
3. 3 giant steps closer so blurry front door is all you see
4. Must be shot of patio doors covered in vertical blinds but it hurts your eyes
5. Blurry photo of some interior door's bottom hinge
6. Blurry photo of a rabbit hutch outdoors
7. Side gate and view of car parked on the street

Remarks: Super clean home! Must see! This one is really sharp! Won't last long!

(only been on MLS 9 days - I'll have to see how long it really lasts)
Posted by: Agent 002

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 02/03/14 05:06 AM

The "Deck" ad is very funny.
What gets me is when a listing over uses hyphenated words, it's just plain laziness.
Or when the listing photos have people or pets in them. Drives me nuts.
Posted by: NextStep

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/07/14 08:39 AM

"steal garage door"
Posted by: NextStep

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/08/14 07:27 AM

LIKE NEW! UPDATED 2 STORY CAUSE OF BROKEN TOILET.
Posted by: gitmonee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/10/14 12:07 PM

Originally Posted By: barb43
Found another winner for its great photos!
1. Curb shot of front of house
2. 5' closer to front of house from curb
3. 3 giant steps closer so blurry front door is all you see
4. Must be shot of patio doors covered in vertical blinds but it hurts your eyes
5. Blurry photo of some interior door's bottom hinge
6. Blurry photo of a rabbit hutch outdoors
7. Side gate and view of car parked on the street

Remarks: Super clean home! Must see! This one is really sharp! Won't last long!

(only been on MLS 9 days - I'll have to see how long it really lasts)



has it been sold yet?
Posted by: CajunDealmaker

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 03/18/14 05:32 PM

Probably just the opposite!
Posted by: Gary Boren

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/01/14 11:56 PM

A perfect location for the survivalists, to build your bunkers and fortress riding out anything that comes your way.
Posted by: Tex

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/03/14 06:11 AM

I have always been hesitant to make comments about spelling just in case I made a mistake from being in a big hurry. Grammar is another issue.

If you want to make yourself feel intelligent just read some hunting and fishing forums. I swear people will actually type "I seen." It is one thing to hear somebody say "I seen", but to read something like, "I seen this deer at 500 yards."
Posted by: CentralFLbeepo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 05/28/14 11:22 AM

"Planned shelving in the living room."

Took me a few to figure out she meant "Plant Shelving"....
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/09/14 01:33 PM


tenants have not giving me there phone number, if you like knock on the door and ask if you can show it. im working on getting the tenants cooperation. thank you for your patience.........
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/10/14 06:08 PM

No, it's still active, but to his credit, the Realtor has taken new photos & uploaded them to the listing on the MLS.
Posted by: BPOMonkey.com

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 06/11/14 10:56 AM

hmm, maybe the tenants will cooperate. Just knock huh? Sounds like some of the interior BPOs I've been assigned.
Posted by: NextStep

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/08/14 09:41 AM

"will impess yur buyers"
Posted by: CentralFLbeepo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/15/14 05:28 AM

"10 acre mini ranch surrounded by large property owners" written by my own broker.
Posted by: Nashville Homes

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/23/14 03:24 AM

man, same thing here. Lots of awful grammar/spelling.
Posted by: crenshaw

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/29/14 09:12 AM

A picture showing a laundry "shoot".
Posted by: DameMcKnight

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/14 02:04 PM

You may want to run 'across' the street...LOL
Posted by: DameMcKnight

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/23/14 02:10 PM

I've been playing with the idea of marketing a property as Haunted.....I think it will gain attention..then I'll disclose that the ghost moved.
Posted by: cinloo

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 08/25/14 07:11 AM

I loved this one in list agent direction comments: "turn right at the convenience store at the corner of ***** and **** streets. It is the convenience managed by the Taliban". I hope buyers don't mind living close to and shopping at a Taliban managed store. .
Posted by: angelina jolie

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/09/14 06:02 AM

Welcome to your post.You write most impotent comment.
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 09/16/14 09:56 AM

Text agent and allow 10 minutes to set off alarm
Posted by: eldoradosrealestate.com

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/06/14 07:17 AM

Owner passed away on 11-2013. All furnishings are negotiable. Owner visits on occasion. Please knock first.
Posted by: Analog Man

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/06/14 12:01 PM

LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: jbt4re

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/07/14 07:53 AM

Originally Posted By: eldoradosrealestate.com
Owner passed away on 11-2013. All furnishings are negotiable. Owner visits on occasion. Please knock first.


I take it the house must be haunted. Is that a disclosure issue in California?
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/22/14 01:02 PM

"Newly installed windows with wood shudders"
Posted by: sualk54

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/14 06:47 AM

Note the sellers name:

School Of Sister Of Notre Damn
Posted by: 75Corvette

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/24/14 07:48 AM

Originally Posted By: sualk54
Note the sellers name:

School Of Sister Of Notre Damn


Shouldn't that name have an exclamation point at the end? LMAO
Posted by: CALIF DREAMING

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/10/14 11:57 AM

Do not go direct .give enough time for losing agent to set appointment with tenant
Posted by: sualk54

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/30/14 08:08 AM

Some guys really need spellcheck or access to a proof reader:

My Profession Bring You Profection

Ray have a well establised knowledge in real estate market. before work as a real estate agent, he is a manager of a real estate company in China, he's knowledge covers the land buying, properties building, propertiy marketing, and selling.
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/30/14 10:19 AM

Ray will fit right in !
Posted by: sualk54

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 01/29/15 11:44 AM

this is PRICELESS

http://news.buzzbuzzhome.com/2014/09/bad-real-estate-ad.html
Posted by: Nashville Homes

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/19/15 03:55 AM

One of the largest problems which hurts a listing agent, IMO, is their inability to give meaningful data in the listing information which can't be gotten in the other specs. Why are you wasting characters saying how many beds and baths it is when that's noted elsewhere? Typographical errors are also a HUGE problem
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 07/11/15 07:50 AM

This is in Lawton, OK - where you may find an "old west attitude" at any turn.

Listing reads: duel see-through fireplace
Posted by: Flynlow

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 10/18/15 08:12 PM

I snagged an expired a while back that had in the agent remarks "Owner doesn’t respond to agent well. Expect to wait a few days to show"

When the home expired, I went and did my "expired thing." The owners were about 80 years old. All the old agent did was text them... never called... just text. They had no idea how to text... so they had to wait until their daughter was over to have her respond... Needless to say, I actually picked up the phone to call, not text... House sold in 3 days, for $16700 over asking. Cash deal. We had 8 offers, 3 over asking.
Posted by: Muniart

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/10/15 10:22 AM

"Revocation is being done in the area."

Who would want to buy in an area that is being revoked?
Posted by: Vermont

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 11/10/15 11:38 AM

Originally Posted By: Muniart
"Revocation is being done in the area."

Who would want to buy in an area that is being revoked?


Did thay mean renovation and just didn't know the difference ?

Sad, so sad !
Posted by: LuxuryRealtor

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/15 02:16 AM

these are great! I haven't seen many as bad as the ones listed here, but over and over I see the "Hurry, won't last" comments on listings that are already six months on the market!
Posted by: busybpobee

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 12/14/15 06:27 AM

"Hurry, won't last" really means "I'll struggle to sell this property for months, someone please buy it."
Posted by: barb43

Re: Stupid MLS comments. - 04/15/16 05:10 PM

. . . . . Owner owned! . . . . .

Really? I know it's after 11 pm, but that one strikes me as too funny. I have no idea what was intended.