Agents Online Real Estate Forums, Discussion, Realtors Marketing Tips

Follow AgentsOnline on Twitter

Click Here to display our logo on your site and link to us!
AgentsOnline Real Estate Discussion Forums Logo

Realtor CommunityA popular online real estate community since 1998!


Advertisements


Sponsored Links
Good Idea!
The ultimate marketing tool

Advertisements
How To Advertise Here
How To Advertise Here

Sponsored Links
(Views)Popular Topics
I MAKE 100 COLD CALLS EVERY DAY & LOVE IT! 28267846
No new orders today 13101605
Stupid MLS comments. 3276545
What do you know about Froy Candelario, top agent in USA 1189283
Stupid QC comments and BPO requirements. 1061074
New HUD Listing Brokers---Any Update? 1028075
Is there religious content in Buffini class? 822477
Let's talk about our cars 670858
Name that Flick. Great movie Lines. 602673
Pay it Forward - BPO/REO Tips & Tricks I & II 592263
Most common items found at an REO 575791
EML 459232
REOTRANS 440705
Main Street 419368
asset val seminar in colorado 407128
assist 2 sell or 1 percent realty? 340418
HOMONYMS - There, Their, and They're 306738
Evalonline 300191
Land America 285052
Mainstreet 261859
Matched Content
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
Rate This Topic
#459479 - 10/22/17 06:09 PM paying back commission
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
I have a sister mad at me because I did not give her my commission when I sold her a house and listed her house. i did pay for her home inspection and a bonus to the selling agent on her house. her c0-worker told my sister she was given all the commission back when she sold her house by her sister.. what are the opinions?


Edited by Flare616 (10/22/17 06:13 PM)

Top
Advertisements
#459485 - 10/22/17 07:47 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Long Walk Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 117
Loc: New Hampshire
Hi Flare --

Sorry for the trouble you are experiencing with family over commissions.

First, what did you discuss with your sister before you did all that work for her? If you never had any discussion, and it has become an issue now, then I would say that you are in for some rough times.

Second, what kind of relationship do you have with your sister? If there is much trust there already, then you may be able to show her how much work you did and what is usual in the brokerage world. You also may be able to get her to understand that reasonable people would never make the demand she seems to be making now. And, it may be possible to actually get to talk with your sister's friend about what she is saying; it may be that she is not reporting accurately what she heard.

My counsel is to sit down with your sister now and talk with her. Having a neutral 3rd party mediate can also help.

Let us know how it goes and I'm sure that others on the board will have solid counsel for you, as well.

Top
#459487 - 10/22/17 09:56 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
after the co-worker told my sister this my sister said she got very mad to learn she thought I should give the commission back and did not speak to me for a year. She retired. then she told me .

Top
#459488 - 10/22/17 10:01 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
I explained to her all the work. she lives almost a hour from me and I traveled there and showed her tons of houses plus there was numerous telephone calls with the other realtors and of course you know what is involved. I'm very upset by this and she has made me feel guilty and deep inside I know there is no reason to be. but over and over she kept repeating she was family and I should have given her the commission.

Top
#459490 - 10/23/17 05:19 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Vermont Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 7717
Loc: Vermont's North-East Kingdom
I guess your Sister thinks you're engaged in this activity just because it's so much fun . . . . it's not a Hobby; it's how you make a living !

Doing business with Friends or Relatives often results in those lingering bad feelings.

Still, when something (anything) about this Transaction goes sour, you'll be the first in line to receive the complaints; you can count on that !

I haven't estranged any Relatives (they're all over a 1000 miles away) because of Real Estate . . . . but I certainly have reduced my supply of people who I had previously thought were Friends.

It's probably best to refer these people out to some other "well-chosen" Licensee who can deal with them in an arms-length manner, and try not to involve yourself in the details; because you will be punished !
_________________________
Dale C. Hittle of GOLDEN RULE PROPERTIES in Glover, Vermont
Where We're Always Striving To Put Together "THE FAIR DEAL"

Top
#459492 - 10/23/17 06:45 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Bigtoe Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 2238
Loc: Outer Banks
Now you know what a horrible person your sister really is. She would sacrifice family for money and blame you for it.too bad she doesn't live firther away.
_________________________
Your Outer Banks real estate agent. Helping people buy and sell OBX real estate since 1989.

Top
#459498 - 10/23/17 11:47 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
then in that same conversation she had the nerve to tell me she had spoken with my nephew who told her if it wasn't for me his house sale would not have gone through. So many people don't realize the skills you need to make a sale or listing sell. If you make it easy they just don't realize all the behind the scenes work it takes to do this. Yet I feel like I am wasting my breath to be on the defensive and tell them truth and honesty are the most important qualities. all the time. I am 90% sure of retiring. It can really burn you out trying to please people , answer their calls day and night, the expense.

Top
#459500 - 10/23/17 12:26 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Long Walk Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 117
Loc: New Hampshire
Originally Posted By: Flare616
then in that same conversation she had the nerve to tell me she had spoken with my nephew who told her if it wasn't for me his house sale would not have gone through.

Hi Flare --

Again, sorry you are going through this.

So, it went well with helping your nephew? But with your sister it was a train wreck? And your sister talked with your nephew, got his good report, and then unloaded on you? Did you have a client agreement with her (whatever NJ requires) that clearly indicated the fee and the real estate services you would provide?

If all that is right, then you have your answer. Your nephew thought you were great and was comfortable with the fee. Your sister just wants the money.

Is there any other family member your sister respects and will listen to? If so, bring the matter to that person and see if you can get a meeting together with your sister.

Top
#459504 - 10/23/17 02:03 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Vermont Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 7717
Loc: Vermont's North-East Kingdom
Are you independently wealthy ?

If you were charitable enough to give your Nephew the gift of your Commission, then it's only right that you also give it to your Sister; and if you were to cave and reward her for this Guilt Trip; wouldn't she automatically expect you to cough it up to him. After all, "He's Family too !"

From a PR perspective, you may as well give your Commission away to anybody you do business with and who would know how to spend it; if you have no takers there, I'm always open to receiving gifts.

From an accounting standpoint, this could be a very effective strategy when it comes to paying Taxes . . . . if you give all of your Commissions away, you'll have no income, and thus, NO INCOME TAXES !

And you wouldn't feel too guilty about not paying taxes under those circumstances, now would you ?

Meanwhile, and on a serious note, I hope you expensed your cost of her Home Inspection and the value of the Bonus that you paid to the Selling Agent. I don't mind being known as "cheap" or being audited; but if I spent money on anything related to Real Estate, it was probably fully expensed.
_________________________
Dale C. Hittle of GOLDEN RULE PROPERTIES in Glover, Vermont
Where We're Always Striving To Put Together "THE FAIR DEAL"

Top
#459509 - 10/23/17 04:00 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Vermont]
Long Walk Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 117
Loc: New Hampshire
Am I misunderstanding? Did Flare give the commission to the nephew and not to the sister? If so, get out the checkbook! laugh

Top
#459510 - 10/23/17 04:14 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Long Walk]
Vermont Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 7717
Loc: Vermont's North-East Kingdom
Originally Posted By: Long Walk
". . . Did Flare give the commission to the nephew and not to the sister? . . ."

No . . . . I introduced that as a bi-product responsibility if he caved in to his Sister's Guilt Trip.

Sorry for the confusion.
_________________________
Dale C. Hittle of GOLDEN RULE PROPERTIES in Glover, Vermont
Where We're Always Striving To Put Together "THE FAIR DEAL"

Top
#459511 - 10/23/17 04:14 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
yes there was contracts signed upon listing and selling her house. then in selling her another house. keep in mind this all happened in 2009 and she is just telling me now. even though she didn't speak to me for a year that was 2013. when the co-worker told her she got all her commission back. i sold my nephew's house 2016.and that is when she talked to him.After her divorce i took her on free vacations, dinners, car repairs etc. i haven't charged my children. Does anyone give their commission back to sisters , brothers?

Top
#459512 - 10/23/17 04:25 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
no I did not give my nephew the commission back. i did other things for him. dinner , paid for the certificate of occupancy. i've never given the commission back unless it is my son or daughter.
just haven't charged my son when he sold. I normally give a gift. a dinner. I just never heard of giving the whole commission back
unless it is children. and I've always had that money reported
correctly. I just want to know what anyone else does? I sold her daughter a house . it was 7 pages of e-mails tons of calls , showed tens of houses, her daughter thanked me over and over. i gave her the home inspection money, a dinner and a American Flag. I must be missing something here. I always work harddependable, answer calls right away and call back ASAP. set up inspections. check rates etc etc.

Top
#459514 - 10/23/17 06:28 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Vermont Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 7717
Loc: Vermont's North-East Kingdom
Originally Posted By: Flare616
". . . keep in mind this all happened in 2009 and she is just telling me now . . ."

That would be a long time to bear a grudge; and wouldn't it have surfaced during the 2013 No-Speaking period ?

Something about that Co-Worker doesn't quite sit right; as if she was intent on sowing the seeds of discontent . . . . some people just do that.

What exactly brought this festering sore to the surface in 2017 ?

I too have a Sister with an unusual outlook on life; she borrowed a few thousand dollars from me around 1976, when she was married to "Donny".

After she divorced "Donny", she feels that I'm not owed the money anymore . . . . like she was relieved of that responsibility when their marriage was liquidated; but I never would have loaned money to "Donny" were he not married to my Sister.

After 41 years, I'm still out that money; but at least I cut my losses and haven't loaned any more money.

Good luck to you, and here's hoping you'll be able to reconcile in less than 41 years !
_________________________
Dale C. Hittle of GOLDEN RULE PROPERTIES in Glover, Vermont
Where We're Always Striving To Put Together "THE FAIR DEAL"

Top
#459517 - 10/23/17 07:32 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
what brought it about is our younger brother died and I guess she felt she should tell me. although I had called her many times over the years left messages she would not call back.
All that time I assumed what was wrong never dreaming its because she wanted my commission!!!

Top
#459530 - 10/24/17 11:06 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
also except for dinners and flowers at open houses I have declared everything and paid taxes .
thanks for your help. its been good venting. i am so tired of some of the public thinking being a Realtor is a hobby and not a Real Job!!

Top
#459534 - 10/24/17 03:04 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Vermont Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 7717
Loc: Vermont's North-East Kingdom
I did not mean to imply that you were failing to report Income . . . . but rather, that you may not have been taking advantage of your generosity by deducting (expensing) all of the Gifts, Returned Commissions, Paid Bonuses, Flowers, Meals, Vacations, and Car Repairs et cetera to which you're entitled.

Otherwise, you are paying excessive taxes on income that you didn't keep, you gifted it away to your Clients, Customers and Co-Brokers; my concern was that you may have then gone on to also pay Income Tax on these monies unnecessarily.

You may have noticed that if we don't look out for ourselves . . . . . no one else will.
_________________________
Dale C. Hittle of GOLDEN RULE PROPERTIES in Glover, Vermont
Where We're Always Striving To Put Together "THE FAIR DEAL"

Top
#459539 - 10/24/17 06:19 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
so true Vermont

Top
#459540 - 10/24/17 06:21 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
I didn't know we can claim vacations

Top
#459541 - 10/24/17 06:33 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Vermont Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 7717
Loc: Vermont's North-East Kingdom
Originally Posted By: Flare616
I didn't know we can claim vacations

Not for you; only those that you paid for to reward your Clients and Customers.

Double check with your Tax Accountant as to how to document this.
_________________________
Dale C. Hittle of GOLDEN RULE PROPERTIES in Glover, Vermont
Where We're Always Striving To Put Together "THE FAIR DEAL"

Top
#459542 - 10/24/17 09:20 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
I'm in a county that the average sales price would not warrant purchasing a vacation. for a client. nice idea though. dinners and flowers are what I do.

Top
#459551 - 10/25/17 12:53 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Long Walk Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 117
Loc: New Hampshire
Flare-- sounds like this is a complete mess.

I'm with Vermont in thinking there is something weird about the 'co-worker'. Want to hear something crazy? What if there never was a co-worker and your sister invented the story?

If your family is tight (and it sounds like you guys might be) take this story to someone respected in the family to see if they will mediate.


Edited by Long Walk (10/25/17 05:12 PM)
Edit Reason: typo

Top
#459557 - 10/25/17 09:35 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
the sister prides herself on being a born again Christian. and she doesn't lie or swear. we are 6 1/2 years apart in age. we think very different. I was matron of honor at her wedding many years ago but even then I would not say we were close. so making it up I don't think so. she said when the co-worker told her she was livid and seen red because I didn't do the same thing. it just is so weird to me.

Top
#459558 - 10/26/17 06:46 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Bigtoe Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 10/14/07
Posts: 2238
Loc: Outer Banks
From what you have described, your sister does not know what christianity is let alone how to be one. She is not above telling a lie if she can get livid and hold a grudge over something like this.
_________________________
Your Outer Banks real estate agent. Helping people buy and sell OBX real estate since 1989.

Top
#459559 - 10/26/17 07:30 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Long Walk Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 117
Loc: New Hampshire
Originally Posted By: Flare616
the sister prides herself on being a born again Christian. and she doesn't lie or swear. we are 6 1/2 years apart in age. we think very different. I was matron of honor at her wedding many years ago but even then I would not say we were close. so making it up I don't think so. she said when the co-worker told her she was livid and seen red because I didn't do the same thing. it just is so weird to me.

Flare -- It sounds like you and your sister have never been close, but it doesn't sound like you have been enemies, either...until this event.

So, we can rule out your sister inventing the story. What about if the co-worker invented the story and your sister believed it? Or maybe the co-worker passed along a story, with embellishments, that she thought she heard from someone else? Then, your sister could believe she had good grounds to be angry with you.

The quality of your service sounds like it was not the problem. Your nephew affirmed you and your sister didn't complain about what you did or how you did it.

So, this may be about the fee story from the co-worker...and maybe your sister had resentments before this.

Is there anyone in the family who could mediate? I don't see another path forward, especially since the problems in this relationship bother you. It would be different if your attitude was that you hate your sister and never cared to speak to her again.

Top
#459565 - 10/26/17 11:28 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
there is no-one to mediate. I will accept the fact she would
hold a grudge because I didn't give her my commission.
Her former husband sold cars. I would never ask for his commission. when she finally got around telling me why she didn't speak to me she was calm and matter-of-fact.

I'll try to let it go. but there is a rift. She told her daughter I didn't need the commission and I worked real estate for fun.

I tried to make the sale and listing easy for her and I guess I made it look too easy!It really was not easy.

So to me she is off the wall.

Top
#459566 - 10/26/17 12:18 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
i don't understand how anyone would think they have good grounds to think they should have my commission which is my paycheck.

Top
#459567 - 10/26/17 01:18 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Long Walk Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 117
Loc: New Hampshire
Probably best to just let it go. Forgive her and move on. You will have a relationship with her when she is ready.

In the meantime, take all the advice you have been given here and stop working with friends and family. Prospecting daily will help with that.

Top
#459577 - 10/27/17 04:32 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Vermont Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 7717
Loc: Vermont's North-East Kingdom
Until 10/25, I had thought Flare was a man; but when the "Matron of Honor" was mentioned, I recognized my error.

I wonder if the Sister would have tried to orchestrate this Guilt Trip on Flare if she was her Brother ?

We'll never know !
_________________________
Dale C. Hittle of GOLDEN RULE PROPERTIES in Glover, Vermont
Where We're Always Striving To Put Together "THE FAIR DEAL"

Top
#459578 - 10/27/17 06:27 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Vermont]
Long Walk Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 117
Loc: New Hampshire
Too funny! I was in the same boat. Who knows, but maybe Flare has a brother who went through something like this at the hands of the same sister.

My experience (for what that might be worth) is that people are generally pretty consistent in their behavior. So, maybe there is a pattern of this sister acting like this in the family. That was why I asked about a mediator.

Top
#459585 - 10/27/17 08:31 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
yes I'm a older women. the sister has a pattern of not speaking. getting mad about situations and not communicating for long periods of time.

But this time she hit a nerve . she did do this to my younger brother who passed away last year but I don't think she'd do this to my older brother who passed in July.
i've had sellers who when I take a listing will sometimes ask for a reduced commission. I will go over everything the office and I do. Normally the seller will then sign . my sister signed . I was two counties
away from the area I work in. It was not easy. This was like a slap in my face. she has retired and so I don't know the circumstances of why the co-worker received the full commission.
but this should not even come into why my sister wants mine

Top
#459588 - 10/27/17 08:52 AM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Vermont Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 7717
Loc: Vermont's North-East Kingdom
This Sister is doing things in a way that's contrary to normal human behavior. Real Estate has served as a wonderful vantage point for me to observe this activity, especially as people live through the closing pages of their lives, and begin to fade.

Usually, as people come to terms with their mortality, and recognize that they're nearing the end of their 28,000 days upon this Earth (or thereabouts), they will try to make amends for the errors of their past, and even work harder to avoid creating any new controversies.

Seems just the opposite with this Sister.
_________________________
Dale C. Hittle of GOLDEN RULE PROPERTIES in Glover, Vermont
Where We're Always Striving To Put Together "THE FAIR DEAL"

Top
#459594 - 10/27/17 06:31 PM Re: paying back commission [Re: Flare616]
Flare616 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/17
Posts: 16
Loc: new jersey
yes you would think so. I totally agree with that!

Top
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >






Google Custom Forum Search

This Google Custom search may do a better job of searching the forums for some keywords than the old forum search does. The results do not include threads from the Asset Managers Forum however. To search that forum you will need to be actually in the Asset Managers Forum and you will need to use the old forum search below.
Search

Newest Members
Shaun225, Dr.Brim, james luis, Snapple, Rockin m
29794 Registered Users
Who's Online
1 registered (Trouble), 41 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box

Top Posters (30 Days)
Long Walk 79
Vermont 41
estatereal 18
RonnieEmz 17
Flare616 16
Trouble 16
Snapple 12
Logan Five 11
gitmonee 9
Lucky Leonardo 9
Mr. Clean 9
Analog Man 9
waka 9
Flammable 8
TheTexasGal 8
Featured Member
Registered: 08/16/14
Posts: 2
Facebook

How To Advertise Here


This site presented by RNC Internet Services