\My new buyer rule is if it is a couple and the two of them are not in almost complete agreement that A) they need to buy now B) where/what they need to buy I am not working with them. Is this a good rule or not?

Sounds like a good rule . . . . the problem is you won't really know the answer to your two qualifying/disqualifying questions until AFTER you've already sunk your precious time into working with them.

But as they say (I don't say it) "rules are made to be broken" . . . . or let's just say "amended".

Try it out and see if that leaves you with an empty set.

Depends on how much you enjoy spending your time unproductively. I'd say it's a good idea in theory, but you might want to leave yourself open to breaking your own rule.

I've found that a set of "trial" showings works well to get a couple more motivated and/or in agreement. I can think of several recent clients who started out a bit murky on exactly what they were looking for, but who quickly turned the corner after seeing a few places in fairly different areas.

One of my best clients ever was a couple who were ready to buy but weren't quite sure what they wanted to buy or where, since they were new to town and didn't really know the area. We spent several months looking, off and on, all over the city (and L.A. is not exactly a small town), before they found what the right place. I had so much fun working with them that it was almost sad to see them get into escrow. The opportunity to cut my teeth in some geographic areas I hadn't really paid attention to before was quite helpful. And now they're easily my most reliable source of high-quality referrals. (It also helped that they were highly qualified, and were not buying a cheap house.)

Then again, I've had buyers who would send me emails full of links to places they "loved"--and that were so random it made it clear they really had no idea what they were doing. Those folks definitely went on the back burner til they either figured things out or found someone else whose time they could waste.

There's huge a difference between "wouldn't it'd be neat if..." and "we NEED to..."

Buffini talks at great length about checking their motivation and finding out why they need to sell or buy. "Check the Mo!" he says.

So what are your clients' mo to buy a home?

Personally, I don't think that it's a matter of the couple being in complete agreement of who is going to buy.

You need to figure out who is wearing the pants and if they are serious.

I hear your pain! I've observed some "tells" when a partner/spouse is NOT on the same page with the other.

The first one is on first meeting. If one partner is engaged, and the other is avoiding eye contact, reading a magazine, or not listening to you, that's Red Flag #1.


Red Flag#2 is body language and affect. Crossed arms and a sour look on one partner means they don't want to be there.

Red Flag#3 is when you get #1 & 2, and you question them carefully about what they're looking for and one partner says, "It's all up to him/her" or something similar-- "I'm just along for the ride as usual"-- you've got a problem. And one that you're not likely to overcome with your sparkling and engaging personality.

At that point when I know I've got resistance, I will say something like, "So do you think you're both on the same page about being ready to buy if you see something you like?" If the one party is really hostile, either out loud or by body language, I usually try to get away from them. MOST agents disagree with me on this. MOST agents try to overcome it. The problem then can become writing a contract, a good one, getting just a teeny pushback from the seller, and the buyers evaporate. Or worse, the partners sign, open escrow and then bail over something minor.

Other signs are when one half keeps asking for listings and wants to see some, and the other one cancels appointments. OR, one of them says, "S/he is getting ready to retire and so WE want to look for something".

When on showings, if one of the partners wants to stay in the car, or isn't really walking through the showing on most if not all the scheduled appointments-- it's time to take them back to the office and dump them off.

Basically, if someone is making it unpleasant for you, there usually is a reason, and it's not you.

Find out if they have the per-approval letter in their hand vs. per-qualification only. If they have the per-approval letter, tells me they are serious and ready to buy.

Ah, but you must be certain the pre-approval letter says they have already made application, and, the best is when they've gone through preliminary underwriting by the lender's underwriter. I've seen many pre-approval letters that weren't worth anything more than a pre-qual letter - it's all in the words that are used in that letter. Pay attention to the words and what they really mean.

Had a very disagreeable couple one time. Fought like cats and dogs - only agreeable thing was to be in the same county. (I really thought they should each live in separate counties.). They did buy a house. Even their lender mentioned how they fought all the time. They eventually divorced; but, at least I sold them a house because it obviously wasn't a 'home'.

First rule is ALWAYS to get a lender's letter. You can give them one shot a viewing homes if you think they truly are a profitable prospect. After the first shot, don't take 'em tell they show the money (er, letter).

I'll show houses (up to 3) in the same afternoon to a couple. If they aren't getting along, if they aren't preapproved & don't want to find a lender, and they don't have a time frame for when they need to buy a house, I politely suggest they talk it over, decide the when & where a little better, and call me and I tell them if I don't hear back from them in 2-3 days, I'll call them.

I've shown houses to couples who didn't openly argue but about whom I remarked later, "Those 2 are gonna go home & have a big fight about this!" And I'm betting I've been right each time.

So I'll waste a little time, but not more than about half an afternoon.

That would be "pre" and not "per".

Tell it, sister! How many buyers have you had who get insulted when you ask, "And how do you plan to pay for your purchase?"-- and they get their backs up? And tell you, "Oh, I can talk to a lender I know WHEN I find something I like..." Or, "Ahem, I can pay cash, you know-- I've got cash, not a problem". THE WORST!

This being a military town, the ones who drive me the nuttiest are the ones who believe they are already preapproved because they have VA home loan entitlement. They don't believe they have to get their certificate showing they're entitled and then go see a mortgage lender. They think they're "somehow" gonna get this big loan with no qualifying, no paperwork, no nothing - just "poof", by magic! I have really insulted some of those folks by saying, "You still have to qualify for the loan." Some have not darkened my door a second time. Oh well.

I thought your gripe was with just one (1) error; but sadly, it's three (3) repetitive errors; indicating a chronic condition.

That's not a mistake; that's a complete mis-understanding !

Very true. Also I've found that "no down" VA loan, to some people mean NO expenses whatsoever. When you talk to them about other costs, they don't believe you. And they walk off in a huff.

It is a complete misunderstanding. Not really understanding what the prefix "pre" actually means.

As I've observed on other recent threads, some agents (not the instant poster necessarily), communicate with consumers with no understanding of what they're saying and get away with it, misleading consumers, sending them in wrong directions-- not purposely, but the result is still the same. When they come here, they repeat these mistakes thinking that they're correct because no one's told them they're not.

If you hear something often enough; or repeat it frequently enough . . . . it takes on an air of truth.

No kidding!Many here believe the seller MUST pay ALL of their closing costs, however much they are. When I explain that the seller is only required to pay those non-allowable to be paid by the buyer, and add that all other closing costs are negotiable, they get really touchy.

That's an excellent rule to have. Remember that a buyer is: 1) ready, 2) willing AND 3) able. If they don't meet the criteria, don't waste your time showing them property. Keep in touch with them though so that you're first on their mind when they are ready.