Doin'

I don't know if he's lucky, but, I can't let him sink. We're the last two left in the family. Mom and Dad passed away early along with our other brother. As old as we are today, he's still my "baby bro".....

To change gears here.........I can't tell you how many posts I've read here over the past few years to where you all mention your families and how family first and business second. That touches my heart, deeply. Doin', my friend, I thank you for all those posts along with so many others that have posted in the same manner. All of you may never know on how many lives you've touched.

Candy - look at it this way. With your brother living there your plumbing and furnace are less likely to take a walk. (not sure if grizzly bears need that stuff or if they have a scrap metal place where they don't have to show their id). Maybe if your place needs some work you can turn him into Handy Man ( sorry I couldn't resist). I have been where you are, my sister moved in with me for about three years. It gave her time to catch her breath and decide what she wanted to do - get on her feet. I never even thought twice about it - ok - maybe I did, but like you said, family is very important.

Family is always family, no matter what.

When I moved up here from the gulf coast over a dozen years ago, my sister was here for me, let me live with her and basically helped me put down roots. I would do anything for her and her family, including scooting across town at 6am to take the 5 year old to school when Daddy has to go to Richmond. They have been there for me through the death of my marriage, the death of my son, the graduation of my daughter, etc......it's my joy to help them. You never forget those shoulders that you cried on, laughed on. We are family.

Thanks for the reminder Candy. Where was my bunk again?

I think you're very kind to have not reacted negatively to this presumption by your younger Brother.

I have not had very good experiences dealing with Relatives, particularly those who take me for granted.

40 years ago, I took a younger 12 year old Brother into our young household and raised him as a son until he was 19. Never a word of thanks. I guess he just thought that is what I was supposed to do.

Maybe 35 years ago, I helped a Sister (A) out by purchasing a new refrigerator. Never got paid back.

About 34 years ago, another Sister (B), having heard about the Refrigerator, thought that I should purchase a Washer and Dryer for her and the Father of her children at the time. I said no, as I didn't find that as much of an emergency at the lack of the Refrigerator (they do have such things as Laundromats). She got terribly upset and said I was showing favoritism.

Then my 3rd Sister (C) called about 32 years ago saying she and her then Husband were hurting real bad for money, and couldn't I loan them something like $5000 or so? I was a softy and loaned the money (interest free of course) for her to service a Sears Revolving Charge Card on which they had gotten over their head.

Sister (C) is a little odd . . . . she and that Husband later filed for Bankruptcy and were subsequently Divorced. The subject of that $5000 has arisen only once . . . . when she was looking for a new loan with a new "husband", and I had to say that I would think about it; but I'd be thinking harder if I had been re-paid for that other $5000. Well, didn't that ignite a fire-storm. She then told me that that $5000 was from way back when she was married to the other 1st Husband, and it should have been forgotten about when they went through bankruptcy and got divorced. I thought I loaned that money to her ONLY because she was my Sister . . . . I didn't know that 1st Husband from Adam; but I guess she thought I was loaning it to the Ex.

Maybe I'm just plain mean, and maybe my memory needs to weaken . . . . but I remember these things vividly. And I think I'd remember even better IF I had ever heard a "thank you"; but I don't recall any of that . . . . somehow it's just part of being the older brother I guess. Everyone else seems to have acquired "selective amnesia".

So Good Luck CandyMan . . . . I don't know what I'd do, but I don't like the presumption I detect. Knowing myself, I wouldn't be some kind of Suga-Daddy anymore. Are there any jobs up in them there hills? If not, your visitor may be there for only a short time . . . . or it could mean forever !

People sho' is funny, ain't they! Despite all that, it's still true that you can choose your Friends, and you can frequently choose your Neighbors . . . . but dem Relatives - you be stuck with them.

Vermont ~

I love my family but there have been times when I've had to say no, too. It can be tough to discern when there's an actual need and, while we all want to help, there's a big difference between a hand up and a handout.

Linda

the key to survival is to keep the debt load at a minimum, even when times are good. of course, our culture promotes the opposite, so it's not easy for most people to resist the temptation to have what they want. vacation cabin or cheap rental home is always a good backup plan.

concerning family/friends with financial or personal problems...avoid giving cash. you might offer to pay off their bills directly to the creditor, and consider it a gift from the beginning.

There have been a couple of times in my life when I was in real need. The relative that always gave me a hand up passed away Sunday. Since we're all family here, I'm coming to the A-frame too. I'll bring a pillow and a sleeping bag, I'm not picky. Except about which parts of the cow I eat.

lotto

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you so much. She was my role model for a strong, independent woman (don't tell my Mom I said that, they were sisters...sibling rivalry and all!). I only hope that I live in such a way that makes her proud.

Sorry, HB. It's so tough losing loved ones. :-(

HB

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Somehow, I think your aunt is already proud of you.