To My Democratic Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion
and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere.

Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

May God Bless All You this coming Year

very nice...Doin...I plan on doin what Ive always been doing...peace!

LOL!

lol, that was great!

If you all liked that one, then perhaps this will give you a chuckle....
It just hit me !!


My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.


His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.


He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.


If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head,

My dog is a Democrat!

Was this humor? Happy New insults!

Insults? Really? After all I would never insult a dog. Ba da bing. I disclosed the warning in the thread title it was only for the light hearted. Don't take it so seriously. It is a sterotypical joke-nothing more. I'd love to hear one about republicans. Laugh with me brother.

Oh to be a dog....What goes around comes around...and when I come back around I want to come back as My Dog...LOL

It can be a rough life though. I seen pics of my dog when the humane society found her, its a wonder she lived. I'm sure she still remembers those days, thats why I let her live like a Democrat!

I'd be happy coming back as your dog, or mine. Im not sure about being Perkeys dog though, she would not let hers up on the new couch and don't feed her table scraps (Poor Mandi)!

Two guys are sitting around talking about politics.

One of them asks the other, "So why are you a Democrat?"

"Because my daddy and granddaddy were Democrats," was the man's reply.

"What if your daddy and granddaddy were horse thieves?"

"In that case, I guess I'd be a Republican."

(Eh. Best I could do under time pressure.)

Nice one. How about this...

How many republicans does it take to change a light bulb?


None. They have the help do it and they are all democrats.

And to prove I'm nonpartisan...

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: one to change the bulb, and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.

I dont get it....

I think it is joking that democrats are reactionary, ie. knee jerk.

Okay here are some more... 1) You are stranded at sea but luckily your boat comes into a solid current and places you on the shore of nearly deserted island. 2 cast aways emerge from the palm trees and confront you. They explain that one of them is a democrat and one is a republican. You have only one chance to determine their identities by asking only one question to one of them. If you fail to get it right they will send you and your boat back out to sea. If you get it right they will feed you and give you water. What question do you ask to be certain you do not end up afloat in the sea again?

punchline 1
1) Tell the one on the left you have an old water bottle you would like to recylce. Ask him where the recycling bin is. If he groans you identify him as the republican. If he gladly points the way you have your democrat.

punchline 2

2) Tell the one on the right you have a solar powered radio and ask if he knows the local station for the Rush Limbaugh show. If he groans you identify him as the democrat. If he smiles you have your republican.

still dont get it...but I thought the horse thief one was funny...