QUOTE FROM MARK TWAIN: “ If you do not read the newspaper you are uniformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed “ !!

Also goes for TV and Radio talk shows.

That's a great one.

I read somewhere he was both born and died on the day Halley's Comet came around. That is so remarkable it almost can't be true. Has anone else heard that?

Not the same day but during the same month. I am less impressed by it when I realized that anyone born in November of 1835 and died in (I think it was) May of 1910 did the same thing. Probably somwhere there were several people who did go in and out the actual days.

When you point that out it is not statiscally as impressive as it would have been to the day. But still neat, given life expectancy was much lower back then.

Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there... any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please ... See More send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?" The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.
Finally, he ran into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, “Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Sarah Palin answered back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!"
Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Nominated for quote of the year is the statement made by Texas Congressman Dick Armey when asked: "If you had been in President Clinton's place, would you have resigned?"

Armey responded: "If I were in the President's place, I would not have gotten a chance to resign. I would be laying in a pool of my own blood, looking up and listening to Mrs. Armey saying, "How do I reload this damn thing?"

DRSRK: Now THOSE were funny!

Ditto, (with, not an unintended, poke at Rush)

This is a bit interesting.

This was written by a German, who was Jewish, about 100 years before Hitler took power.

Dort wo man Bücher verbrennt, verbrennt man auch am Ende Menschen.
Where they have burned books, they will end in burning human beings.
Almansor: A Tragedy (1823), as translated in True Religion (2003) by Graham Ward, p. 142

Setting: The National Cathedral: The Preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Congressman Isa Diarte' Sowell (I) Delaware got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Isa, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Isa replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Isa's ear, placed his other hand on ...top of Isa's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Isa Diarte' Sowell, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Isa, how is your hearing now?"

Isa answered, "I don't know... It isn't until next week."

That was GREAT!!!!!

Thanks Grampa. You might like this picture.

Even a puppet is capable of seeing the inequity.

The Obama joke was priceless

If I remeber correctly that one too is recycled. Seems more appropriate for a "C" student as well as opposed to someone who actually got very good grades.

Still funny none the less.