Tastefully reported, still funny as heck. Well done. Too many jokes bouncing around the cranial walls. Must resist.....can't help myself....struggling...struggling....

Always try to enter each room prior to your Customers entering . . . . just to make sure that there isn't anything offensive in there. Sac's story reminds me of a situation I've described before, where I failed to do a good job checking out the Basement Rec Room before escorting a Catholic Nun through the House, and the Tenants left one of their Hustler Magazines wide open on a pool table for close examination.
I talked about it in more length over here:

Catholic Nun encounters Hustler Magazine

I once had a College Rooming house For Sale where the Students had continuous feed X-Rated Videos going on the TV while I was showing the place (maybe as a prank ?); but the Customers had College age Kids of their own and had seen all those videos before, so that wasn't nearly as disturbing as the look on that Sister's Face.

I once showed an absolutley beautiful home to a couple, we walked all the way through this 3000 sqft home, looked down and noticed dark foot prints on the near white carpet. I looked at my feet, they were fine, looked at his feet, covered in thick mud!

I once had a short sale listed on a house about 5 years ago that was being lived in by her son and their roommates.

It was a little 3/2 ranch.They had graffiti spray painted with a muriel in the eat in kitchen.

A buyer with another agent toured the home.In one of the rooms the ladies son reads fantasy books.The buyers agent told me the buyer would buy the house but the people their appeared to be witches or devil worshipers.The buyer felt the house would now be possessed by evil spirits! LOL


The book was nothing more than a fantasy book and had nothing to do with witchcraft or a satanic ritual.

IndianaHomes - OMG! That's baaaad!!!!

Super - I truly believe superstition stops a lot of home sales!

I was showing a house and the listing agent was there. He was facing us and had his back to the door of the master bedroom. He pushed it open and still not looking in just smiling and talking he said "here is the master bedroom". There was a guy maybe 5-600 lbs sitting naked on the bed with a woman who had to be pushing 80 years old kneeling in front of him. She was looking at us and he flipped the blanket over his lap. The agent saw our shocked faces and turned around.... fortunately everyone burst out laughing.

I bought a house a few years back. It wasn't listed so I was working with the seller. A newly divorced single mother. I was coming by for a final decision making third showing. She wasn't going to be home and said she would leave the sliding door open. My girlfriend and I came in and looked around. We went into the bedroom and there was about an 8 inch dildo on the bed next to the laptop.

Yes I now own the home.

I had my own house listed a couple years ago and when it expired I got a call from an agent looking for a listing. Although it clearly stated in the agent remarks that the listing agent was the owner, the agent making the phone call clearly had not read it.

He went off about how my current agent (Me) didn't know what he was doing and how he would do a much better job.

I let him talk for a couple minutes and then asked him if he had the old listing in front of him. he said that he did. i asked him to read the confidential remarks. There was a long pause. I asked if he was still there and all that he could say was that he was sorry and hung up.

At first I was mad and then started to laugh.

Any personal property come with the house?

Just air filters that were so packed with dirt that when I accidentally dropped one it didn't even fall off.

These are great stories! LOL!!

P-Town, that would make me laugh too - I once went to an expired listing and met w/ the sellers. I was kind of puffed up over my angle w/ the "ultra wide angle lens" on my camera and said that their current pictures are TERRIBLE, just TERRIBLE and don't show the house in its true light - there was a pause, and we changed the subject to something else...and a few sentences later they told me that their son was the listing agent.

Oy.

call a spade a spade...


i have learned that it is not a good idea to say anything about the past..only focus on the future and show what you will do as opposed to what another does not do and it works.

I had a buyer who wanted a house near the water. An agent in my office had a friends house listed and it had been taken off the market. He said he still wanted to sell it, just take the key and go to the house. The address was 2 Beach Road. I'm driving down tne cross street, see the house, and I think "oops, I was thinking of a different house", but I was new and figured I'd just gotten the owner's name wrong and this was near the beach, so I brought them in and showed it. The door was open! I left my card inside on the stove, to make matters worse! As we were driving to the next house on the same cross street I see "BEACH ROAD" again! It was right on the line between two towns, and they both had a "Beach Road", so we went to the correct house and I showed that, but I kept saying "hurry up! I have to go back and get my card!!" The buyers were laughing, I was laughing! They were driving and on the way back I kept thinking "DRIVE FASTER!!!" Went back to the house and crept in and grabbed my card. Luckily the owner didn't come home in the meantime. I had almost locked the door behind, me, glad I didn't. I related the story in the office, and one of the agents said he once showed the wrong rental, and there were tenants in the house and they didn't know what was going on!

That's awesome. LOL

I had an interior bpo assignment. I kept trying to get a hold of the contact agent to no avail so I just figured I go maybe it had a supra or common lockbox code. When I got there, there was no lockbox. The place looked vacant, deferred maintenance, broken window etc. I went and knocked on several neighbors' doors and asked if it was indeed vacant. No one knew for sure but they hadn't seen anyone there in quite a while.

So, I rang the doorbell, knocked, no answer, checked the door, locked, pushed on a couple of windows, locked, still kept calling the contact agent while I was there, but couldn't get a hold of him. So, I went to the broken window and pushed the blinds aside. I told my husband, who was with me, that the place needed a trash out, but it was weird because it looked like someone had been studying or doing schoolwork at the table by the window and just left it all.

I thought about climbing in the window but thought nah, better try some more to get in touch with the agent. Good thing I didn't enter. The agent finally called me back on my way to the next house. There were tenants living there and they did not want me to disturb them at that time!