Several months ago, I found out through facebook that someone that I know was house hunting cause she had sold her place (the one that I was suppose to sell). You all know how those stories go...Well she knows I was pist, & I am tired of reading the comments, we are packing to move etc. I could care less! So should I just delete her from my page!
I no longer care much for her.
What have you guys done in instances like this?

You can set it up where you no longer see her comments.

Just hide her comments, or you could delete her...or you could just say "Congratulations; hope it all goes well for you!" rather than have sour grapes over the whole thing.

Never burn your bridges. Always smile nice, don't be bitter...kill em with kindness...they may come back to you in the future...a big part of our business is not the here and now but what we've planted to harvest in the future.

Don't actually burn the bridge.

I would say "I see you sold your home. Congratulations, but I thought I was supposed to help you with that, so I'm calling to let you know you owe me one. Have you found your new home yet?" IF YES, "Well, congratulations again, tell me about it". IF NO, "Good, that gives me a chance to be the one to find you that ideal home your looking looking for. Could you give me the details on what your hoping to find?"

If they sold and bought, before the hang-up "I'm glad everything went well for you. I am sorry you didn't think enough of me as an agent to use my services this time, I know I would have enjoyed working with you. Still next time I would still like to be considered because I'm sure you would be totally satisfied doing business with me.

One thing you can do for me now and in the future is if you ever hear of anyone just thinking of buying or selling property I would appreciate a phone call from you letting me know about them."

It's a semi-burning with a guilt trip thrown in, and usually more effective then the other options. And I move them to my database D, the lowest status before file 13. Often the guilt trip kicks in and I get lead calls.

I would not take it personally. There are many different reasons that people use to select their agent. If it is someone you know well enough to have on your facebook page, you should be understanding. If you do not know this person that well, by all means delete. But I do think you should re-examine your attitude towards the situation. We have enough stress in this business without creating more for ourselves.

Thanks guys, as you know it's fustrating specially when I went out there a few months ago & gave them pointers on what to change to make the house look better & they were working on those changes. They were friends of mine! I heard that a handyman came in & hooked them by telling them that they knew a realtor that had buyers for the property, and of course the buyers did not qualify so that was the hook! Then they signed them on.
I will hide their comments, I don't consider them much of a friend any longer, sorry but that's the way I feel. They know someone else, mutual friend, that I was working with & they did advise that they knew that I was upset. I will send them an email stating what Bay Area Brian wrote & hide comments...
Yeeh, with friends like these who needs enemies & I know, I have been through this road before it's just upsetting when it happens. We are better off working with people that we don't know in a personal level.

Yup. It bites, totally. I feel your pain. We all do...we've all been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and shrunk it in the wash and now it's an old cleaning rag.

I had buyers one time tell me that they wanted a lakefront home but it HAD to be on a lake that allowed jet skis. No if ands or buts. Well with their price range we really had little choose from, but they were adamant that they HAD to be able to ride jet skis. I did a lot of running around for one property in particular...researching deed restrictions, shared septic agreements, etc...and their mortgage broker would not fund the house. So they said let's look some more. Then the next thing I know they email me to tell me they bought a house FSBO thru Craigslist. WHAT???? WHere??? They told me, and I said "But that lake doesn't allow jet skis. I didn't even search there because you said that the jet ski issue was a deal breaker."

"We now... we just decided that it wasn't that big of a deal after all. Thanks for all your help!"

Gee. You're welcome. And if I had started sending them properties on non jet ski lakes, you and I both know they would have balked at me for not listening to their needs. Oh well, what can you do? Dust yourself off and move on.

Many, not all, but many, people as a general rule are selfish and impetuous and really don't care about anything but WIIFM. (What's In It for Me?) They could not care less about the time, energy, effort, and expertise you shared.

what happens if there are 3 friends

1 needs to sell and 2 are agents

someone will have their feelings hurt.


its life.

the people you dont know are larger than the people you know. learn to market to them and keep your friends. what is more important...a transaction or a friend.

Please please please please don't get mad at friends who don't use your real estate services. Unless they're just mean people (in which case... who cares?), they made a decision for themselves that was right for them. It WAS NOT personal in all likelihood (I mean, c'mon, do you really think they intended to hurt you?) - or if it was personal, the very best next step is to look in the mirror and see if you can figure out what went wrong.

We ALL have friends and acquaintances who are service providers and sometimes we choose one over another. I have three friends who are massage therapists, but I only use one. I have two friends who are CPA's. I know a gazillion mortgage brokers. When I don't hire or use one of them, I certainly don't expect them to whine, fuss or pout about it. If they did, they just kissed my future business and referrals good-bye - I prefer to work with professionals.

There is NOTHING wrong with running a business based on the personal relationships in your life! In fact, it's an extremely rewarding way to work and live! But it's just plain wrong to assume that your friends and acquaintances owe you anything - and besides just being plain wrong - it's a great way to chase off perfectly good friendships AND future business opportunities!

I have been trying to come up with a way to say exactly what Jennifer just said! Once again, she comes through!

I had a similiar situation with a friend. She had her home listed with an agent before I became an agent, it didn't sell so she took it of the market and rented it.

After I bacame an agent she said she would list with me if she puts it on the market again.

Low and behold it's on the market again. Not with me. If she would've listed it with the orginal agent, I wouldn't have been upset. That agent did alot of work for her. She listed it with a different agent.

What gets me is she told me she would list with me and asked me many questions about real-estate. I knew her financial situation, her personal information, her whole family, everything.

So, she calls me doesn't mention the house and I don't bring it up. But I'm nicer than ever, too nice, and had a quick conversation then told her I had to go. Very very nicely.

Do kill'em with kindess. That doesn't mean you can't gripe to your family and friends. I may see this person around town so I don't want to be uncomfortable around her.

But guess what? Her house is still on the market, it's been almost 3 months, but this is the second time around. A total of over 500 days on the market. I just say "karma."

I have a FB friend who moved out of state. I was promised the listing. I gave her advice, I actually checked up on the house for her from time to time.

Then I saw it was it was sale. It was supposed to be mine? It was listed at my price. Was I mad? Not really, she is a smart woman she had her reasons. I did ask her why out of curiosity (don't ask if you don't want an honest answer). And she explained:

"We have a great friendship and I thought this would strain it, so I went with another agent." I still get referals from her, and now I had to find an out of state agent to refer her to. Im still her real estate guy.

I was happy that her house sold rather quickly because she is a friend. I as a friend try to add some value to a relationship, if I profit from the relationship good, if not, thats not the purpose.

Well said Jennifer. My own brother used someone else to sell his home(about 350K) I may not have been the most experienced...it still hurt...came over for thanksgiving and see a for sale sign in the yard...and they..oh yeah...we just put it on the market with this guy we know from church. Luckily my own parents are using me...and I am selling them their retirement home on lake conroe.......Here in Montgomery County

I think sometimes family and friends are worse to prospect to because they already think of you in a certain way and if they are competitive, they will not want you to make money off them. Especially if they believe you make too much money to begin with.

I do not ask my friends for business- but they have asked me to help them. That's a big difference.

The SOI model of real estate presented by Jennifer's Sell With Soul does not condone or encourage expecting or asking your friends for business...but you can get business from your SOI either directly or indirectly (like REO Dayton mentioned, his friend sends him referrals)....if you handle yourself right.

My one friend keeps bugging me for business cards, LOL - I keep forgetting to bring any whenever we get together. !!!

I don't expect friends to give me business, and I don't beg or demand it, but am happy to receive it when it comes.

Bob made a great point in relation to family. On my dad's side growing up when we had get togethers at my Uncle Clay's house they would all talk about how much they make.

They all were making over a 100k a year and this was I can't remember in the 80's sometime I guess.I was never self-absorbed with money like they were. I think as they have gotten older they have mellowed out some which is a good thing.

The more you are in the business the more you will value YOUR TIME. If a friend asks a question or needs help I will give a quick 30 second response. If they want more intense help I let them no upfront that I only give counsel to my clients and they will have to set up an appointment.In that appointment we will sign an agreement and then I will help them.

When I first started out years ago I would get bombarded by everyone at restaurants for lunch and dinner,parties,whatever.
These people most times were just fishing for information and already had someone in mind. I make people commit before sharing all my expertise.

Since I have done strictly commercial over the last few years this has become a non-issue. I still do residential for some family and friends but set expectations upfront on what is going to happen.

Get over it! I've had this happen three times, in the past three years with clients. just had a friend not let me refer her to an agent in Cali, etc etc. I had two clients screw me over with the old "Show me houses then I'll buy a FSBO and/or use a builder without asking you first" step. I keep them all on my friends list and don't burn bridges. I just had a guy who left me out, got screwed over by his "new " agent, then calls me back because I was nice to them and wishing them luck after he "broke my heart" by telling me he put a home under contract with out(though he wasn't a signed client yet, but we were close) If you're on Facebook, I promise you it won't be the last time.

I had a similar situation as you. My friend and neighbor asked a LOT of questions, then asked if 620,000 was a good price for their house. I said I thought it was and lo and behold, she'd been talking to everyone at work, and someone had a friend that wanted to buy it. I wanted to scream, since she'd been picking my brain for months about who pays what, how do you do this and that. Long story short, 3 mos later the buyer still hadn't signed the contract, and the deal fell through. She listed with me. Pounce on it the second it expires.

Congratulate her, then put her on "ignore". I have gotten 3 listings so far from acquaintances I kept up with on Facebook, so I think Facebook is worth it.

I actually meant to say three times in the past year.

I had a house listed in Alabama (the seller is a really good friend of mine for over 6 years) and sold it mined you, cut my commission to make it work and started showing him houses about 20 or so, then out of the blue he says hey this other Birmingham Realtor friend of mine who's son plays tee ball with my boy (known for 6 weeks) as been showing us houses on the north side of town, "which is out of your area" my thoughts are really 5 minutes north and some guy tells you it's out of my area and you just go along with it.

Anyway, so I showed him one Saturday and I think we have found the winner and just waiting for his house to close, when low and behold that Sunday in Sunday school he announced "we put a contract on a house and it was accepted"

A lose of $8400 in commission $10,000+ if you count the $2000 I took off to help his house sell.

Well times were a little rough at the time financially, guess what he went and did sent me a Dave Ramsey book about finances, I asked him did it have a chapter about how to find loyal clients.

Anyway he had to do some work on the new house he bought because it was an Alabama foreclosure, who do you think he called when it came time to move some furniture seems the other agent friend was busy.

Point of the story is he is still my friend, but all my other friends will sign a buyers agency.

What do you wanna bet that it was not a matter of loyalty, but was his MO of commission kickback. It is highly possible that selling agent agreed to a kickback in order to get the business. He just did not want to ask you to do the same twice.

Facebook is a means of information and information is power. You just have to be conscious that people are reading what you put on facebook. But seeing another agent post about a listing or potential buyer/seller post something about their offer/listing keeps you in the know.

I made a big deal over a friend that went with another agent and regret it now. There just is no room for bad blood in sales. People talk, and right or wrong things are said that could damage opinions about us as sales people. In the future I might opt to distance myself from such friends, but will try to keep the hurt feelings etc. To myself.

You forgot the rule:

#4. Never expect that your friends will become your client. Instead, hope that they'll give you referrals.

Sometimes, it's better not to work with close friends and family as it can put a strain on the relationship. In my experience, they may also expect you to dock a large part of your commission, and they are much higher maintenance....no bueno.

I would delete. Feel guilty about it. Then move on.