I know it sounds like a silly questions but i have always wanted to help everyone and never have dreaded listing or selling properties. It never felt like work to me, if it was work than i guess I love my job. Until now, my older sister is thinking of selling her home and upgrading to a bigger home,the only problem is she knows everything! She won't list until she finds somnething she likes,won't talk to a mortage broker,knows her fico, knows the rates, truly knows everything.She's driving me crazy She calls everyday to see house, after house, after house but won't put her house on the market, not to mention wants to list her house 25k over what i tell her,and to make matter worse she insists on seeing every reo and short sale out there. She doesn't get that these banks are not going to wait around for her sell her over priced house. Any other client i would say ok, first we get the mortgage,then we list, then we shop, I've done it 100 times, have plenty of happy clients but with her she will not follow the rules. I'm done, I'm frustrated ,i feel like i'm wasting my time, if it where anyone else I would tell them its my way or the highway and they would respect my opinion and do what i ask.With her she gets all upset,so how can i tell her without a huge family fued. It's riduculous I know but, taking a huge toll on me. I don't think she looks at me as a realtor just a little sister. I don't want to hurt her but I don't want to represent her. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Tell her the truth. She's your sister. Otherwise, what are you gonna do?

You are wasting your time -- and you're being used and abused. You have my heartfelt sympathy.

Now, take a deep breath, smile, and tell her firmly that you can not represent her. And then give her some reason about how it's not a good idea for family to work with family and she's much more important to you as a sister than a client so you have to be honest and recommend (anyone you want, but suggest she go see someone else). If she won't buy it the first time, keep telling her . . . And have other things to do or other appointments to keep when she tries to pin you down. It may take a lot of effort, but you'll have more peace down the road . . . And you'll maintain your own sense of worth!

I know,your right i know what i have to do for my own santity,but do i tell her the whole truth? or just I can't work with you?

barb43 thanks for saying it how it is ! I am wasting my time, I needed to hear it from another professional! Even if she is serious which is questionable,she'll never listen to me anyway.

The mistake is not setting upfront that this is going to be a business transaction relationship just like all your other transactions and you will run things the same way.

As soon as you change how you run your business model to each clients wishes your time and revenue go down the toilet.You have to remain focused,strong,and clear on your goals for your business.

You won't do business with everyone but you will feel happy that you are in control of your life and your business.

Just tell her your running out of xanax and you won't be able to help any more. Family members are the toughest clients to control. You have to control the process or your nothing but your clients employee. Just make sure you get a referral out of it, if you kick her to the curb. BigC

Here's my 2¢. I've been the recipient of referrals like that.

Unfortunately, the "Referred Parties" still expected "hand-holding" from the Licensed Relative and made them remain involved and Mother Hen the activity and double check what I was doing and then consult on behalf of their "blood". The other Agent didn't want to be involved; but they couldn't shake loose of the responsibility . . . . another Uncle Remus Tar Baby !

I somewhat resented the other Agent's involvement; but I couldn't be mean to them; I had pity! They didn't want to be involved; but they had to be. They earned their little Referral Fee !

Try to diplomatically back out of it. My solution has been to have no relatives living within 1000 miles of me; probably my loss. Relatives are Forever! Good Luck.

All you can do is be honest and refer her out. Here is my Brothers story:

He had blown through 3 Realtors, 2 of which fired him. I needed to visit anyways so I arranged for another agent to come over and we went through his house and told hime what could be done.

I told the other agent I would not ask for a referral fee as I knew he would truly earn his commission. I would just settle my brother down and point out facts. The other agent even offered to cut a deal on the commission and save my brother money. My brother "appreciated" the advice and would consider it.

The other Realtor went as far as referring 2 other Realtors to him. He told me that he really was not interested in the listing. I think his exact works was, "That man is a Jackass I don't need the aggrevation". The agent agreed that I at least gave him a fair and accurate situation that he would have to deal with.

So my brother finally asked why nobody will list his house, I had to be honest with him. I simply told him he was being unrealistic, and everyone thinks he is an [censored], including me. You cant tell me that 7 Realtors are wrong. He still thinks that his 120K house is worth 210K because he spent 170K building it and put in some half assed lamenant wood flooring and owes 200K on the property.

Simply So lay down the law. Tell them "This is the way its going to happen or I cant help you."

I agree. The most important thing you have to do is to be honest to your family. Just tell her that you can not list her house and then tell her the exact reasons why but in a nice and professional way. Family is harder to deal with then anyone else as they expect much more from you and for a cheaper price. If she is not willing to listen to your professional advice then she needs to find some other Realtor who is desperate for the business and will give into her way of thinking. After her house sits on the market unsold for about 6 months months she will come back to you and at that time consider helping her but only if she sees things your way.

Good Luck , business with family is stressful!

Dee Lewis
Realtor
Century 21 Premier
www.deelewisc21.com

My advice would be to tell your sister that you will need to do things your way or you cannot help her. Explain everything up front, including the list price on her home not being over value and how the buying process will work once you have her house listed. If she agrees amd still wants to move forward with you, now you have complete control of the situation. Make sure you tell her that the first time things aren't going right, you will cut her loose. Tell her, as your sister, that she needs to respect your business.

I think Agent007 just answered the question...

I usually thought that family would be the 'better' clients?

I never saw it from your angle though...

i would tell her that i value her relationship more than any commission check and that my business model will not allow me to work with anyone that is friend or family.

Cheers to 007, I think this is the only way! I believe if you take this approach you might just be able to get through this.

there are enough buyers and sellers out htere to work with so that you do not have to jepordize a relationship for a check.

even if a transaction goes smooth the house can have something go up in it and cost the buyer money in the future. it is not your fault as an agent, but some people are morons and blame the agent. regardless of "if" it is your fault or not, there is no reason to jepordize a relationship over a commission.

i had an aunt list a house with someone else....i let her know that i did not want to do business with family....she listed high and did not sell....she still called me even though i did not even refer her out....she used a friend who is an agent for over 20 years....she blames her friend for not selling
(i blame the price)....i did not even want to refer it out because she would have thought i refered her to a dud...reality is that the dud was her stubbornness and inability to listen to reason....glad i did not work that....nothing worse than going to a family function and having to answer questions about your aunts house that did not sell....what do i tell them? the truth? house is overpriced and wont sell...or...make something up like>>>>i did not market it properly<<<<so i dont badmouth someone....i dont talk about clients by name with anyone except for my partner and manager as they are involved in the deal to some extent...

point is that it can make for some situations that i dont want to deal with and there is plenty of business out there.

the statistic on my mls is that around 70% of homes sell withe the first agent that list the property and teh otehr 30% withdraw or expire. i dont want a stubborn relative to blame me becuase they dont want to listen...often times people will nod thier head and tell you they understand and you are in control and bla bla bla, but wehn it comes time to reduce based on feedback and showings they say no!!!!!!!!