motivated sellers=overpriced and i need an offer or i will get fired.

priced to sell=i hope your buyer only looks at this one house

willing to negotiate=overpriced

FIRM $399,000, FIRM $379,000, FIRM $349,000, FIRM $299,000, FIRM $249,000, STILL FIRM $199,999, PLEASE MAKE AN OFFER $169,900

Ooops!!! Seller must have Over-Dosed on VIAGRA!

You're right on Vermont! I love when the MLS notes state the price is firm and the sale price is 10% below list! lol.

Bonus to selling agent if full price offer accepted before this date = help me sell my overpriced listing

cash offers only = overpriced and won't appraise

furnished = I don't feel like moving my junk out

owner willing to get creative with financing = overpriced and won't appraise

Motivated Seller = Yeah . . . . By Greed !

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^lol



rent to own=overpriced
seller financing=overpriced


i love the 5k (or whatever) in closing cost....rofl.....how about whatever my offer states... so you wont accept anything else? to me stating how much closing help is needed is like stating a firm price.

Needs TLC = Please don't get a home inspection.

SOLD AS-IS = Please don't ask for repairs or repair credits, even though the seller may pay for them.

No Homeowners Association! = This home is probably located in a run down neighborhood.

Make an offer subject to inspection = Tenants hate the seller and will not cooperate with showings.

Great investment property! = Nobody would probably want to live here.

Low Maintenance Yard = Another boring desert yard with no grass.

and my favorite....

Short Sale = Anything BUT short!

"Needs TLC = Please don't get a home inspection."

I love it in my MLS there spin is always "Needs a littl TLC"

Then you see pics of it and it is falling down almost.

Another one most recently is "Nice property-will NOT qualify for FHA or VA financing" = Conventional rehab loan or cash offer.

Alot of residential brokers used to use beautiful.Now on every listing I see it says "GEORGOUS". I am so sick on hearing this word now it makes me want to puke!

You mean you don't put those riders on your signs...

I'm Gorgeous Inside!

Well-maintained - Original decor from 1956 (perfect for your amateur investor)
Fix-up - Way too much work for your amateur investor.

As is, where is = Bring an armed contractor

Seller will consider all offers = Seller wants the price he would have received at the peak of the last boom = astronomically overpriced!

Bring any offer = (see above)

Natural Setting = forget about planting anything, the deer will eat it.

Natural Setting = that creek out back gets perilously close to the house during a heavy rainstorm

I found that it would be valuable if I brought along a Visual Aide. This Historic Home offers Single Floor Living at its finest; Low Maintenance; Flow-thru-Ventilation; Open Floor Plan (no inside walls); Windows pointed out in every direction – and with glass so clear it seems to disappear! Symetric Neo-Classical Architecture; Color Coordinated; New(er) Roof; and an Attractive Addition for the In-Laws.

Well-Appointed with Built-In Features too numerous to mention, like Window Boxes and even a Screen in the Front Door! Efficiency Yard that doubles as Parking . . . . so hardly any need for a mower. Jungly Back Yard; but still just a hop, skip and a jump to blacktop for easy commuting !

A must see! Won’t last long! (or much longer) An easy show ! Serious Buyers only please. You're almost Home ! Tires me out just thinking about it !

That's a real beaut, there Dale.

Reminds me of a "ranch home" here that is actually a converted school bus with an addition.