I was just reviewing my Closing Calendar for October and realized that, while I had thought of it, I never got around to sharing this Italian Casket Calendar with you. I must have been too shy, bashful, or too new to this Forum to tell you about this innovative Italian Marketing technique. I think I had the feeling that many of you might be too squeamish about the Subject of Death; or too Prudish regarding this Advertising Methodology; but now I know otherwise. You're just as disgusted as I am.

I’ma not Italiano; but’a I knowa when I see a nouvo idea‘a. Some of you may have already have this Italian Calendar . . . . and you may have more connections back in the Old Country than I do. These Italian Folks have become quite Avant-Garde in marketing mortuary paraphernalia lately. I clipped a next Month’s page from the 2008 Calendar put out by our friends at Cofani Funebri in Milano. None of the Ladies is actually posing right inside the permanent sleeping quarters . . . . I guess the Italians prefer to leave something to the imagination ! Here’s Miss October, if you like the darker category of Woodwork in your house. These nice Carved Mahogany jobs cost almost as much as a new pickup truck; more with shipping.

I think that here in the back waters of Vermont, the Buying Public for Caskets and such, always tends to put these things off to the last minute: We say “No point in doing today what you can put off until tomorrow”. Seldom do Wifes around here ever take their Husbands to visit the Funeral Store to walk through the Casket ShowRoom on a Saturday Afternoon. Too much advertising like this might cause the audience to decide to “Just keep on Truckin”. Belatedly, here’s Miss April whose product in Light Oak sports the Brass Carriage Bolts which are a very nice feature.

You’ll probably agree that this Model still needs some pointers on what constitutes proper Mourning Attire. The Black Brassiere is in keeping with the somberness of the occasion; but the Cut-off Blue Jeans are a No No. Someone probably already told her that and now she’s pouting and looking kind’a Vampiresq ! That’s quite a rock in the engagement ring (maybe it’s a Dinner Ring for the “After the Funeral Bash” ?) . . . . leaves you wondering if that is from the Decedent or a New Squeeze ? I've always recommended that the Grieving Parties wait until after the internment to establish a new relationship . . . . it can compromise their standing at Probate. This Lady needs a belt on those britches too !

Hmmm, that calendar really has a necrophilia pall to it, doesn't it? Tsk, tsk . . . to each his own, i suppose. (LOL)

Yes, she needs a belt! Sorry, I don't consider her a lady!

Call me crazy but I like it. Where can one get such a calander? I have a couple relatives knocking on deaths door, just want to know what the options are.

You always crack me up! You provide the most unexpected answers I have to say.

I would like one too...I assist at a funeral home and everyone would get a big kick out of it...funeral humor is to Die for...

I'm wondering why Vermont007 even has a casket calendar. Do you sell cemetery space too?

Heh, now, there's a sideline for a Realtor, eh? In fact, I had to go to the realty office in the small town where the nearest Catholic cemetery is located to buy a plot for my mother-in-law when she was near-death and i got this 'cute' antiquated-looking deed for the plot.

"Crediamo che la morte sia " business" serio; e quindi vedi raramente tutto il posto per umore in esso. Humor, tuttavia, possa:

fornisca il rilievo per le nostre ansie circa la morte, aiutili a fare fronte alla morte di altre e
faciliti lo sforzo che circonda spesso il dolore."

Allen Klein

Well Dayton, I don't know if the 2009 Product Line Calendar is available yet; but for You, or your Friends, I will check and see if I can get you the link to the 2008 Calendar, or send you the individual pages by email. If it's not on your Profile email me.

If they like the Mahogany, there's a special on it; but I get a higher Referral Fee on the Oak ; but you wait until they've seen them all. I never like to "Rush" people into making these final decisions !

Everybody's gotta go sometime; "But why not go in a Crate of your own Choosing" ?

007, are you also the local funeral director? I've always thought that would be a fascinating business.

Me? Oh No; Not Me ! I like Live People too much. I would find being around Dead People altogether too Draining. Live people are my most favorite.

Besides, most Vermonters go down to Florida to Kick the Bucket. Did you know that if you die up here during Winter, they store you in a Vault until Spring when the Ground thaws. What fun is that ? The ground is frozen so hard, at -47°F, that a Backhoe can't even dig you a nice hole. Then in the Spring everyone gets a big Weekend long Internment Ceremony, like in a Group !

Now I did once sell some Lake Front property to a Lady Coroner/Pathologist from somewhere in one of the other 49 States. She was a real joy to be around - the life of the Party! She and her Psychiatrist Husband made an absolutely delightful Pair. She only knew how to speak to Dead People and he only knew how to speak to Crazy People. I had to talk to them separately.

T'was a May December situation. Only used the place 4 or 5 weekends (separately) over 3 years before asking me to sell the place for them. Probably shouldn't have bought the place to begin with; but I couldn't talk them out of it !

I've heard this happens in Minnesota and Wisconsin too, so I'm not surprised that it's that way in Vermont too. We don't have that problem in Oklahoma - not that I've ever known of, anyway.

I've known some guys who worked at funeral homes, over the past 17 yrs, and they were the funniest guys to hang around with. Lots of macabre jokes.

Just for the record and to avoid any confusion, I didn't move here to kick the bucket. LOL

One of my former associates at our previous sponsoring broker (he, like I, went out and started his own agency) was a licensed mortician. Not sure but I think he may be keeping his license renewed.

Heh, now there's a way to provide long-term service to your clients!

ROTFL.....You guys are killing me!

Shall we get you one of those now?

There is an interesting cross-over. I commented a couple weeks ago about my Mortician turned Building Inspector a couple weeks ago in:
http://www.agentsonline.net/forums/ubbth...html#Post247642
There are far fewer complaints among the Mortician's Customers. You have to really screw up. We had one Careless Fellow up here who neglected to take the Bodies out of the Hearse for 3 or 4 Days; but what's that ? Some kind of Elder Abuse ? I don't think so! It wasn't good P.R. His Funeral Parlour was shut down and now houses a Title Insurance Company and some Attorneys . . . . Nice and Quiet!

And that Guy in Georgia who ran the Crematorium and got behind and started the Grieving Parties Urns filled with Wood Ash from the Fireplace while he just took the Corpses out to the Swamp behind the Shop. Saves on energy . . . . those incinerators demand very high temperatures. I guess he was just trying to do his part in becoming a "Green Industry". Thinking back, "Soylent Green" was an apt Movie Title 1973; but a little ahead of its time.

I'm wondering if we can Re-Cycle these Coffins? It's really Good Wood. And they are comfortable . . . . not quite like a Sleep Number Bed™ (No complaints!); And you only need one setting . . . . Just make sure it's right!

I'm sorry this is such a "Sick Subject"; Sick . . . Sick . . . Sick. Some one above said that the Morticians have Macabre Stories; but The UnderTakers only learn about Real Macabre when they enter the World of Real Estate where they have to deal with the "Really Scary People". . . . Those that are still alive as our Buyers and Sellers ! A Sick Business; but We're Lovin' It!

Im loving this thread.

This thread makes me listen to Tom Petty- Last Dance With Mary Jane!

Thank you very much. I guess these people at Cofani Funefri pride themselves in keeping up an old Italian Tradition of always "Thinking Outside the Box"! Following in the footsteps Columbus, Galileo; Garibaldi and Marconi before them. Here's a link to:

http://www.cofanifunebri.com/cofanifunebri-mania-eng.htm

Looks like the 2009 Calendar is still in production, as only 2003 thru 2008 are now available on their Site.

I'm somewhat surprised that these people have been producing this Coffin Calendar since 2003 with little publicity; It must have been like an "Inside" Thing.

Im going to have to pony up some Euros and buy a couple of these calanders for 2009. I hope my people can last that long! If they can't I'm leaning towards the May 2008 coffin. Hopefully it will be on clearance.

I'm gonna have to order the "Got Formadehyde" t-shirt!!
(Check out the t-shirts . . . the "I Told You I Was Sick" shirt is pretty good too.)

This is the funniest thread I have read anywhere in a longgggg time.

Wow never saw the Shirts. I may have to order the "I told you I was sick" for the next time I get sick. That should make the wife feel like crap when I'm on the couch and begging for some water.

Funeral Home Joke:

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown died'."

Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a 7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, "In that case, 'Fred Brown died: 1983 Pick-up for sale'."

lol!

Another broker I know was once a funeral director, I'll pass that one on to him!

The 2009 Calendars are in ! From Cafani Funebri . . . . where they're "Always Thinking Outside the Box"

This year, for the Fishing and Boating Enthusiast, they offer the "Final Float", a Carved Mahogany Number, as demonstrated by Miss May:

Just as sick as Last Year's; but a Little More Outdoorsy !

Did you notice July & August's photos are missing off the website, but there's a notice on each of those pages:

. . . Omissis . . .
(too much alternative)

Methinks they want us Rich Amerikanskis to cough up a few Euros (like 9) and buy the "Hard Copy" Calendar instead of always using their WebSite just to check the Date.

I was just wondering how much more risque those 2 months' photos were than the other months' photos. LOL

And therein the hook is set, of course, to buy the calendar . . .as you said, Vermont.

LOL I love this.

That's the kind of talk that draws in the Fishing and Boating Enthusiasts !

It's my guess that this is your typical Italian Business Plan, and represents one of the Great Contradictions of the 21st Century (So Far) . . . . Cofani Funebri clearly wants to sell Coffins; and yet their advertising helps keep people alive ! . . . . Weird, heh ? But they certainly do help us reconcile ourselves with our own mortality.

Why don't we have an economic stimulus package for the American Casket Manufacturers ? I am deeply concerned that we have been ignoring the obvious need to do something to liven up this critical industrial sector, otherwise I am fearful that the Italians are going to Bury Us !

I'm thinking Miss May is looking like she just stepped out for a little early morning stretch up there in the Poconos near that Lake Wallenpaupack.

Cofani Funebri knows how to market. How can you not think positively about their product when you associate these beautiful models with their cofani's and to cleverly package their marketing concept into this calendar?

And clearly their calendars target the male population, is it because males are their bread and butter?

Let's hope that their intended market does not get a heart attack from watching the beautiful models day in and day out. It is even more clever than what appears to be on the surface just a simple marketing plot!

Just like Marconi, Garibaldi, Marco Polo and C. Columbus . . . . Cofani Funefri is always "Thinking Outside the Box !"

I think it is wise to purchase in advance and get something that goes well with the other furnishings decor in your terrestrial abode . . . . take it home; use it; show it off, Why should only your Heirs get the pleasure of showing off the quality of these fine carved woods with hand rubbed finishes ?

Italians are definitely notorious for thinking outside the box!

There is C. Columbus who ventured into the vast ocean and ended up discovering America in 1492, although the Vikings would dispute such claim.

It's a New Month ! And as part of the Italian Economic Stimulus Package, Cofani Funebri has introduced some economy models like this Clear Fir Offering. Still within easy reach of the most economically oppressed American Families:

Miss February shows no hesitation in demonstrating the famous Mar-Resistant qualities of the Coffin's Finish . . . . Just as Hard as a Ball Room Dance Floor !

We North Americans must wake up to the fact that without a U.S. Government Bail Out of our own Casket Manufacturers, these Italians are going to Bury Us !

As everyone is busy scheduling their Real Estate activities for the Month of June, I thought you would benefit from a fresh Calendar with Miss June beckoning you on to a Nice Warm Summer "above grade".

Here she displays that Old Oaken Favorite, hand carved with the Flared European Shoulders and Brass Carriage Bolts . . . . always a popular choice.

For what you pay for these jobbers, why not get one early and display it with your other fine furniture while you're still around ? Your Friends will appreciate the quality of your taste if you have your selection on display right there in the sitting room at your next Cocktail Party; And you'll be able to see the envy in their Eyes !

And besides, buying early will help stimulate the Economy; plus help your Friends come to terms with their own Mortality. Always "Thinking Outside the Box", Cofani Funerbri offers great financing for those who participate in these decisions and purchase while they are still alive and kicking . . . . Buy Now; Die Later !

Here's wishing everyone here a very warm and active Summer amongst the living.

This thread is in ICU & almost dead and I thought it should be revived.

We gotta see the July Calendar and the August one too. Of course, the detailed descriptions that come with each posting are a requirement that we all have come to expect.

Please do not keep us in the dark any longer there may not be a tomorrow, life is so fragile, here one day gone the next.

Inspiration comes from the most unexpected places.

Last time I looked, it was like the Italians were intent on returning us again to a ten (10) month year and taking away those months named for Julius and Augustus. Without those two nice Guys, September would still be the 7th Month, October the 8th, November, the 9th, and December the 10th . . . . a Decimal System like it was orginaly ordained. Think about it!

But it could also be like Barb43 said above: July and August may be just a little too risque' for us little Puritanical Americans, who hardly know how to spell "the big 3 letter word" (or are afraid to acknowledge that they do). It's probably something we put in the water.

If I thought someone would actually examine them, I could go and get the July and August Casket Models. August is almost over. Of course, anyone else, who isn't afraid to be labeled a pervert, can go and download these Working Girls (I provided the link last year) . . . . the Girls just do this posing stuff after working hard all day at chiseling away on these fine woods for export. It's the Italian Stimulus Package.

My wifes grandma (I affectionatly refer to her as Crazy Nana) just lost her battle a couple weeks ago. After the arrangemnets were made my father in law told me "Shopping for a casket was not as fun I thought, I should of used your place" referring to the link I sent him months ago.

We had a good chuckle over it, the rest of the family did not get the joke. It was comforting though.

Just as a side note. I seemed to be the only person focused on the dent in her casket? One day I will the question "Did you buy a dicounted model because of the dent of did somebody drop it prior to burial ?" It was an obvious dent.

I do so hope that it occurred BEFORE she moved in. Older Folks deserve to "Rest in Peace" without people crashing into them or being dropped on the floor at the Mortuary. They hate that.

On the other hand, you're not suspecting that the dent came from the inside ?

the econo line caskets are easily dented...depending on the gauge metal you select...I prefer the wooded caskets...with the memory drawer...you can place items that are relevant to you and the deceased...and bear in mind...the "made in China" has also made a "dent" in this market...so...buyer beware...

Im sure the dent came from the outside. It looked like it was in a minor fender bender. My mother in law is a master shopper. She lives to find a deal when one can not be found (Thats why I refused to list Crazy Nannas house).

Since we are on the subject, did you know that being embalmed is an option?? I assumed everybody was, not the case though, that option can be waived.

The funniest part though is my father in law said there is a life time warrenty on the vault and the casket? It seems to me that the lifetime wording ceased to exist when the deceased uses the product. It sounds good though.

I believe it can be waived if not an "open casket" viewing...other wise it is a must...Also certain religious customs do not allow it and should be buried within a certain amount of time...

Per poor Nana's wishes she only wanted a simple graveside service, bury me cheap and move on quick and cheap. I did love her attitude! Thats why I suspect a discounted coffin was used (she would of wanted it that way).

I should mention that my son almost fell in the hole that was dug in the middle of the service. He got the casket a rockin trying to get her out. Disturbing but somehow funny. Luckily the Funeral guy saved him before I could get there. Its a story that live on forever in the family!

graves typically are dug the day of burial...and yes... childen do add "life" to the day...you have a healthy out look of life and death...

Vermont...Im waiting for the Sept issue....LOL

Just in time to serve as your Official September Appointment schedule, this Matronly Lady is looking back over her very busy Summer, and still wondering why they deleted Miss July and Miss August and sent them off into Purgatory.

Sensing that the days are growing shorter, and that 2009 itself will soon be drawing to a close, our September Sales Representative is much more modest in attire, as is her product Offering - a very simple Maple Box; but still elegantly carved and constructed in a sturdy manner with those traditional Carriage Bolts . . . . and it has that posh matching White Satin interior to go with her outfit; really quite comfy!

Side Handles for the Pall Bearers must also be an optional feature; because these days, some Folks are just as light as a Feather. I think this photo was taken while Miss September was along the Coast of Corsica visiting her Corsetiere. He bought only a tiny little Box, cuz he's a bit of a Tight Wad, being a Corset Maker, you know.

Our Girl's next stop is Sardinia, where she is visiting her special Sardine Supplier. He has become very interested in purchasing a Big Box, cuz be's a Big Fish . . . . and his Coffin will also be equipped with the Re-Sealable Zip-Lock, a nice feature which has become very popular with all the Fish Mongers.

Right now, I think Miss October is out making a big sale pitch to an Italian Real Estate Mogul in Milano . . . . but the Transaction has yet to be consumated; so we will just have to wait until next month and see when she returns from her CMA - Casket Marketing Adventure.

She's always on the road, doing BPOs . . . . Burial Product Originations.

Oh...jeez...this is just too much...LOL

I think I shall wait to die until I see what October has to offer.

This has to be the funnest thread on the board.

Vermont, you have outdone yourself this month! hehe

Very cleverly done just as expected.

I was not expecting all that, just a simple pic.

Sorry. Actually, I made half of that stuff up . . . . just like I do on a BPO or a LMR or a PCR. Sometimes when I'm writing script for ads too. BPO people want you to look at a place and give them some kind'a elaborate commentary on the Subject and current Market Conditions . . . . "always use professional language and terminology". ( RIGHT! And do it in less than 125 Characters!)

I look at a Subject, or a picture of it, I will see a story. It could be a Shack or it could be a Chateau Human Beans live in there. Their story needs to be told! A whole life in 125 professional characters? So I try to tell a little story about the salient aspects, and the conditions of their Lives so they'll remember my BPO . . . . and especially, remember to pay me.

With only 125 characters per BPO Commentary, I wind up with a lot of left over stuff that came to mind; verbiage that I like to put over here. I'm about to start a New Thread about the few people who work harder than Real Estate People. It will be a short list, and I hope to have some legitimate pictures of these Characters at work.

PS: Right now, I'm trying to get Miss October to cool it a bit . . . . she seems to be following in the footsteps of July and August, High-Heeled Tennis Shoes and all . . . . a mite Sassy. That's what causes the trouble in this World; she's beating a path to Purgatory.

Always testing the boundaries of Poor Taste, and then going beyond . . . . here's Miss October just in time for your Fall Football Schedule. It’s that Season and Miss October is on the Offensive Line . . . . – the Offensive Line of Italian Coffin Marketing – that is.. She happens to be a Fan of American Foot'a Ball . . . . not that European Socker Stuff – she says “That’sa way too violent” especially among the Fans along the sidelines!



You may think she’s just a “bench warmer”, but upon closer examination, you’ll see she actually has a “Box Seat” – Carved Mahogany with a very comfortable posh interior. (Big enough to crawl in and take a little snooze at Half Time!) The NFL Players like her. The same Guys who lace up those Pigskins for each Game also help stuff her into this Uniform and then tighten up that Corset . . . . It takes 2 Full Backs and a Tight End to yank on those laces during the Pre-Game Hi-Lites.

I think she does know how tie up her high heeled sneakers all by herself . . . . a skill that she recently learned in a game of pick-up. She’s very good in the scrimmage as you’ll never see grass stains on those white stockings. She must of won, given that sassy expression which portrays her attitude of “What are you looking at?” Maybe there are cultural differences. She wears that get up and then gets offended when you look!

Cofani Funebri may be bringing out Branded “Team Specific” NFL Caskets next Season, carved with the unique Logo of your own favorite NFL Team . . . . and upholstered with the Team Colors. Miss October is checking out the US market for this specialty sports offering. They’ll probably be Big Sellers . . . . “Always thinking Outside the Box”

Looks like the carved Jesus is reaching out to touch her or cop a feel, (now thats poor taste)?!

Its my favorite so far. I would go ahead and die to buy this one but October is not good for me. My Anniversary is the 6th, and my daughters BD is the 8th (or vice versa I get confused). My death would tarnish the month in their lives forever.

So I will hang on for another month and see what November has to offer.

When all is said and done; when they've done the Final Curtain Call . . . . when you've made the final submission on your last BPO, and shown off you new Carved Casket to everyone who really gives a hoot . . . . Why not think about a trip to Rid Well Cemetery?


That's kind of a nice Vermont way of sayin' Good Riddance ! Why not ?

I have to go see the Funeral guy later this week with my dad to him make some arrangements for my poor Grandma. Every part of me wants to print a few calander pages out and your summaries. When the funeral guy asks "So what are we looking for" I can get quotes. He usually has a great sense of humor, I think that may be going a bit to far though given the circumstances.

Oo, Vermont, it's the end of the year . . . the new calendar arrived yet?

Can't wait.

So it's a New Year and a New Decade. The Marketing at Funebri Cofani remains as decadent as it was last year. But they have adopted some suggestions for giving the Models a more somber attire, more appropriate for the occasion:



That Black Lace Veil is particularly befitting. I couldn't take my eyes off it. And the setting for displaying January's Product, a sleek carved Model of Alpinian Oak is a little dreary . . . . like a Dungeon . . . . all moist and musty. I've never been in a real dungeon, but I've been in the Limestone Caves of Southern Indiana. Not a place where I'd want to spend eternity.

As a matter of fact, Miss January is a mite scary too ! Like she's still is a state of dis-belief! And, what's with that Black Fingernail Polish? And that Chain . . . . are we coming or going? Maybe they are trying to exhume the Body, under the supervision of the Widow? I don't know.

Actually, her posture almost gives the appearance of a recent Widow who is being arrested for mis-appropriating the Decedent's Fortune! It's like a Wide Angle Mug Shot.

The product itself is well carved with the traditional "Thumbs Up" symbol . . . . as if you're trying to hitch-hike your way out of here. Fat Chance!

I have asked that they give us space on the Calendar to do Real Estate Appointment Scheduling . . . . but I've been told that people only use the Calendar to check the date.

That's hilarious - I had not noticed the "Thumbs Up" symbol before. Too, too funny!

They have taken a "darker" approach this year, eh? Will be interesting to see where they go with this s&m-ish look.

I would like one too...I assist at a funeral home and everyone would get a big kick out of it...funeral humor is to Die for...

are you also the local funeral director? I've always thought that would be a fascinating business.

PW

Nope . . . . Just a Simple Soul pondering that age old question:

"Is there Life before Death ?"

Let's hope that their intended market does not get a heart attack from watching the beautiful models day in and day out. It is even more clever than what appears to be on the surface just a simple marketing plot!

This is one of the most popular threads around here with over 7,000+ views, but number one is the Homonyms thread with over 23,000+ views. Just sayin'

Why Thank You! . . . . Thank you very much. I think it all has to do with choosing a "catchy title" to begin with; doesn't it?

Now I'm struggling with trying to find a way to get people to realize that the words "then" and "than" are not interchangeable. They're not homonyms, and they're certainly not synonyms . . . . they're just commonly confused words.

Some people go through life ignoring the very existence of that poor little word "than", and improperly employ the word "then".

The word "then" is to be used to help identify a point in time, or to position an event in a sequential order.

While the word "than" should be used for making a comparison.

I know some people on this Forum better than I know many in my own market.

Life will be so much better once this problem is finally solved. Then we can move on to solving the Global Financial Crisis, Terrorism, and Climate Change.

OK...the heck with the casket...just strap me on my motocycle...

OK...I removed the photo...it was even a little to much for me too...

Gary Coleman wanted one but the family settled for this one. At least they personalized it.

Oh...REO...you are just....LOL

After reading the thread debating the impact of a cemetery on real property I thought of this thread. Any change of it returning from the dead?

We're just waiting for the Obama Stimulus Package to kick in and help the local Coffin Manufacturers. They're dragging their feet in Washington (no Wheel Barrow) !

But in the absence of budgetary support, I doubt that MediCare will cover the costs of much more than that Wheel Barrow idea spoken of elsewhere . . . . so no posh hand carved Wooden Caskets are in the offing. PAX Americana is behind us . . . . 'tis sad.

We've been worried so much about the Chinese, and now, as foreboding as it sounds, the Italians are destined to bury us !"

Returning from the dead is good if you move up a notch and come back a better person, if you believe in reincarnation.

You leave the old flesh and re enter the new one, the new body, free of any infirmities and imperfections and whether your previous body reached its final destination via a WheelBarrow due to the OBamaCare initiative, or in a more pompous manner, the Italians get to do it over again and the cycle continues.

Some want to be buried, in BPOs, while others, like Clint, would rather go on to making a movie, a movie of a new life, even if just for a few hours, then back to reality. Others die and their Realtors are left short selling a house with a bank note attached to the after life and you wonder how could such thing be possible. Such is Life and such is Death, a natural process, as it was well put in another threat.

Vermont, that is complex to me. So I checked out the website and think I blushed at some of the pages of the 2010 and 2011 calendars.

I was just perusing the new 2011 calendar . . . December is my favorite.

Surely there is a good short story in that calendar page!

I agree with you . . . . at least she doesn't have any of that pink or red hair to detract you from the product being marketed.

December 2011 is SO VERY FAR OFF; . . . . but it is true December 2011 reminds me of Audrey Meadows in the HoneyMooners set waiting for Jackie Gleason to get home from his bus route.

But what if he had dropped dead BEFORE there was a HoneyMoon ? (Hence the Coffin).

And what's the deal with that plastic ductwork going into the commercial stove hood over a microwave oven ? Plastic Duct is frowned on by Real Estate people and Building Inspectors around here.

I'm going to take 12 months to ponder that one. But I'm not really impressed with this forelorn Model either . . . . she's like a Twiggy Stick Figure with no muscle tissue in her lower body. Maybe that was by design to serve as a foil against that big Jackie Gleason. (Audrey Meadows was actually quite a looker). Oh well, she has a year to work out and put some meat on those scrawny bones (but the Cupboard is bare !)

Thanks for keeping this thread alive. Considering the topic, it may take on a larger life after death.

Okay, I'm giving in. Here's the pictorial representation of Alice Kramden (or Audrey Meadows) I described above last week:




Doesn't this look like the walk-up flat at 358 Chauncey Street in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn ?

Just remember, she is here representing December, 2011 . . . . NOT December, 2010. I don't want to be responsible for messing up people's appointments next month.

I just noticed the chair was incomplete, missing the bottom catcher portion. I think that adds a little something to this.

Maybe Ralphie-Boy sat on that chair in one of those "Lost Episodes" ?

Well, that's my take on it anyway, hehe.

Well, just in time to be used as an Appointment Calendar for this Month, here's Miss January exhibiting the popular Sicilian Oak Coffin, always a hot seller!



I think she's trying to use her body language to instill us with a sense of Optimism, by climbing that Crypt Gate representing the wall of Worry, Pessimism and Negativity . . . . so symbolic of everything which has kept energy of the Real Estate Market down in the doldrums caged up for the past few years.

Now, the gate has swung open and she's really looking well-prepared, ready and willing to go out and Door Knock, interview some prospective Listings, tackle a few BPOs or even do some Title Searches . . . . hey, maybe an Open House? What a Trooper ! Always thinking Positive.

Maybe by the end of January, everything will be coming up Roses? January, 2015!

Well, that's my take on it anyway . . . . Happy New Year !

Good one, Vermont!

I like how her cherry red lips 'n hair match the lid on that coffin!

But, wait, she must have been so excited to get out there and sell real estate that she forgot to paint her nails to match!

I was a little concerned about her scraping herself on the metal gate lock. Ouch.

She is a gargoylish gatekeeper, stone like but with flair.

I'm thinking the same thing; but she's a bit modest, and doesn't want to detract too much attention away from the product. She has to be very poised and reserved. You have to strike a balance in Coffin sales.

I don't know for sure. Could be that Cofani Funebri has a strict dress code which requires that they wear black and refrain from wearing too much make-up or jewelery? Even that tattoo should remain concealed. See, these Coffin salespeople have to remain always focused on the product . . . . consistent with the sombrous atmosphere and melancholy environment.

That's probably why she longs to get out of that crypt and move among the "happy people" buying and selling Real Estate, and where she can show a little flash. Or it could be she's having an Open House right there, beckoning prospects to "Come on in !"

She's sizing up the passersby . . . the crypt a showroom floor.

Her sideways glance to view the few . . . to ask in through the door.

Italian Law has censored the Cofani Funebri Calendar collection! They are no longer posted at the website. What a shame!

This is about all that's left:
http://www.cofanifunebrimania.eu/portofolio/

I'll give Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi a call in the morning and see if I can get that lifted . . . . or is he still busy defending himself ?

Well, here's the cover of 2012's calendar . . . You can order one, you just can't peruse the pics in advance. LOL

That just Chaps my A$$!!!!!

What, the fact that her A$$ has CENSORED stamped across it? lol

Good times Resurrected. I was going to misspell it for a double whammy of fun and good times. It might have read, "Reserected." But I have better judgement than that.