I was just reviewing my Closing Calendar for October and realized that, while I had thought of it, I never got around to sharing this Italian Casket Calendar with you. I must have been too shy, bashful, or too new to this Forum to tell you about this innovative Italian Marketing technique. I think I had the feeling that many of you might be too squeamish about the Subject of Death; or too Prudish regarding this Advertising Methodology; but now I know otherwise. You're just as disgusted as I am.

I’ma not Italiano; but’a I knowa when I see a nouvo idea‘a. Some of you may have already have this Italian Calendar . . . . and you may have more connections back in the Old Country than I do. These Italian Folks have become quite Avant-Garde in marketing mortuary paraphernalia lately. I clipped a next Month’s page from the 2008 Calendar put out by our friends at Cofani Funebri in Milano. None of the Ladies is actually posing right inside the permanent sleeping quarters . . . . I guess the Italians prefer to leave something to the imagination ! Here’s Miss October, if you like the darker category of Woodwork in your house. These nice Carved Mahogany jobs cost almost as much as a new pickup truck; more with shipping.

I think that here in the back waters of Vermont, the Buying Public for Caskets and such, always tends to put these things off to the last minute: We say “No point in doing today what you can put off until tomorrow”. Seldom do Wifes around here ever take their Husbands to visit the Funeral Store to walk through the Casket ShowRoom on a Saturday Afternoon. Too much advertising like this might cause the audience to decide to “Just keep on Truckin”. Belatedly, here’s Miss April whose product in Light Oak sports the Brass Carriage Bolts which are a very nice feature.

You’ll probably agree that this Model still needs some pointers on what constitutes proper Mourning Attire. The Black Brassiere is in keeping with the somberness of the occasion; but the Cut-off Blue Jeans are a No No. Someone probably already told her that and now she’s pouting and looking kind’a Vampiresq ! That’s quite a rock in the engagement ring (maybe it’s a Dinner Ring for the “After the Funeral Bash” ?) . . . . leaves you wondering if that is from the Decedent or a New Squeeze ? I've always recommended that the Grieving Parties wait until after the internment to establish a new relationship . . . . it can compromise their standing at Probate. This Lady needs a belt on those britches too !

Hmmm, that calendar really has a necrophilia pall to it, doesn't it? Tsk, tsk . . . to each his own, i suppose. (LOL)

Yes, she needs a belt! Sorry, I don't consider her a lady!

Call me crazy but I like it. Where can one get such a calander? I have a couple relatives knocking on deaths door, just want to know what the options are.

You always crack me up! You provide the most unexpected answers I have to say.

I would like one too...I assist at a funeral home and everyone would get a big kick out of it...funeral humor is to Die for...

I'm wondering why Vermont007 even has a casket calendar. Do you sell cemetery space too?

Heh, now, there's a sideline for a Realtor, eh? In fact, I had to go to the realty office in the small town where the nearest Catholic cemetery is located to buy a plot for my mother-in-law when she was near-death and i got this 'cute' antiquated-looking deed for the plot.

"Crediamo che la morte sia " business" serio; e quindi vedi raramente tutto il posto per umore in esso. Humor, tuttavia, possa:

fornisca il rilievo per le nostre ansie circa la morte, aiutili a fare fronte alla morte di altre e
faciliti lo sforzo che circonda spesso il dolore."

Allen Klein

Well Dayton, I don't know if the 2009 Product Line Calendar is available yet; but for You, or your Friends, I will check and see if I can get you the link to the 2008 Calendar, or send you the individual pages by email. If it's not on your Profile email me.

If they like the Mahogany, there's a special on it; but I get a higher Referral Fee on the Oak ; but you wait until they've seen them all. I never like to "Rush" people into making these final decisions !

Everybody's gotta go sometime; "But why not go in a Crate of your own Choosing" ?

007, are you also the local funeral director? I've always thought that would be a fascinating business.

Me? Oh No; Not Me ! I like Live People too much. I would find being around Dead People altogether too Draining. Live people are my most favorite.

Besides, most Vermonters go down to Florida to Kick the Bucket. Did you know that if you die up here during Winter, they store you in a Vault until Spring when the Ground thaws. What fun is that ? The ground is frozen so hard, at -47°F, that a Backhoe can't even dig you a nice hole. Then in the Spring everyone gets a big Weekend long Internment Ceremony, like in a Group !

Now I did once sell some Lake Front property to a Lady Coroner/Pathologist from somewhere in one of the other 49 States. She was a real joy to be around - the life of the Party! She and her Psychiatrist Husband made an absolutely delightful Pair. She only knew how to speak to Dead People and he only knew how to speak to Crazy People. I had to talk to them separately.

T'was a May December situation. Only used the place 4 or 5 weekends (separately) over 3 years before asking me to sell the place for them. Probably shouldn't have bought the place to begin with; but I couldn't talk them out of it !

I've heard this happens in Minnesota and Wisconsin too, so I'm not surprised that it's that way in Vermont too. We don't have that problem in Oklahoma - not that I've ever known of, anyway.

I've known some guys who worked at funeral homes, over the past 17 yrs, and they were the funniest guys to hang around with. Lots of macabre jokes.

Just for the record and to avoid any confusion, I didn't move here to kick the bucket. LOL

One of my former associates at our previous sponsoring broker (he, like I, went out and started his own agency) was a licensed mortician. Not sure but I think he may be keeping his license renewed.