My friend Betty and I are both new agents. We went to a bar last night and two men asked to join us. One sat next to me and the other sat next to her. They both gave us business cards. Betty immediatly asked both of them if they were interested in purchaseing a home. Both of them said 'Sure'. She went on to tell them that she was a real estate agent.

As the night went on, one of the men expressed a strong interest in me so we planned to meet the next day for dinner. The next morning, he called me and we talked for several hours, he stated that he did not realize I was an agent, nonetheless, we planned our date. I immediatly called Betty and told her that he and I were going out.

Betty hung up and called me an hour later and informed me that she called my friend and told him that she found the 'perfect house' for him and wanted to show it.

I basically told Betty that I didnt like what she did, especially since I told her that we were going on a date. It appeared to be almost a sneaky act on her part. She didnt see anything wrong, espcially since we all met at the same time and she approached him first about being his agent.

Was there anything wrong with this picture? Is this something that will occur frequently with real estate agents being friends? Please advise!!

Yes, agents can be friends. Two of my dearest friends are agents; one of them in fact is with a different office, and the othe rone just started working at my office - all three of us started out as agents together at a different office.

The one who is with a competing office and I went to lunch one day, and she told me about her new listing. I happened to have a buyer for it. We are now under contract with it!

That said, it can be very tricky to be friends with an agent, particularly if you are not aggressive and she obviously is. She also should have backed off when she realized that you and this guy were going out...or at least asked you if you minded or something - because the fact is, he had no idea you were an agent. Had you spoken up he may have asked you to show him houses.

You have to be very careful to respect one another's boundaries...it can be tricky, I suppose...but I've not come across it with my two friends mentioned above; however, it did surface with another agent who I considered my friend. By an oversight on my part, that was purely an accident, she accused me of trying to prevent her from getting a lead that rightfully belonged to her. That hurt, as I would never put business above my friendship.

Welcome out of the classroom and into the real world of real estate!!Competition happens all the time,don't expect people even your friends to be nice and hand you the business.

I am a male so can give a man's perspective.If he has the hot's fro you and not her then he will probably be putty in your hands.If the feeling is mutual and you dig him work it.If you guys end up not being a couple he probably won't want further contact with you anyways and will buy from someone else.

Either way fight for that lead!!LOL

good luck

Let the guy choose whoever he wants to choose to be his agent. If he likes you, then he will probably want you to help him anyway.

Two guys in a bar hitting on two women in a bar would have agreed to donate their kidneys if asked by one of the women. You said your a new agent, are you new to the bar scene too?

In the end, you'll show him 58 houses and he won't buy anything.

BigToe
That was funny!! Actually its been a VERY long time since I've been to a bar so perhaps this is all new. To me, its just principle (HES MINE!!!) But Ive come to the conclusion that I just missed an opportunity to sell my real estate services. Thats all. But by golly, it wont happen again!!!! Thanks for the advice guys.

OH geez give me a break. Wrong forum!

I think this was a completely valid question from a new agent in the "Aspiring Agents" forum.

It took a while for me to learn and newbies might as well understand up front that it can be quite difficult to be friends with other agents, especially if you had been friends prior to becoming agents in the same market.

I purposely lost contact with a friend who got licensed after I did. She wouldn't stop calling me (we were at different firms) for advice and tips and my mentor put a stop to it. She was using me for info that nobody in her firm would tell her.

The reality became clear to me that even within the same firm NO ONE cared whether each other made it in the RE world or starved homeless in the street.

[[[DISCLAIMER: This is just in our area--I am not condemning all agents/firms in all places!]]] That's just the way the majority of agents in our market act.

Yes, GeorgiaPeach, you CAN be friends with fellow agents and they can be just as supportive, encouraging, congratulatory and helpful to you as your non-agent friends are, if you have chosen them wisely.

In my experience, agent friendships are very meaningful and rewarding and they kind of rise to the surface, so you must be intuitive enough to recognize them as they develop. It may occur with a gal or guy you wouldn't normally, in your "old" life, go out for beers with.

I lost a lot of friends when I left my old job to enter the RE world because so many of them automatically assumed I had gone into "money," when they had no idea I went eight months without making a dime.

Anyway, I hope this helps, GeorgiaPeach!

Sounds like one of you gets the social scene and the other the business opportunity; oh well!

Agents be friends? Absolutely! Even since I went in business myself I still get calls from agents with my former broker (I was the Assistant Manager there and often the first resource for fixing a problem), and I still help them even as competitors. I also have helped one, and am currently helping another, to do as I did and go in business for themselves (even though they will also be competitors).

I know that sounds strange, but it is the way I am.

I meant wrong forum as in non real estate forum! It just seems kinda immature to me. But thats just me.

Trush - I think that you painted the typical real estate picture of inter-agent relationships.

My office tends to have more camaraderie or a team spirit than other office - I actually consider several of the agents friends, and I think that most of them would truly "watch my back" as I would theirs. We help one another, expecting the favor to be returned one day. That said, I know that we're a unique bunch - most other stories I've heard is that it's a dog-eat-dog world for sure.

Some offices have agents that are extremely cold towards one another. Other offices have agents that are extremely friendly with one another. I moved companies a few years ago because of this. Many agents in my old company didn't talk with each other. Nobody was helpful. Now I am with a company that most of the agents seem really cool with each other. We all attend company events. We all support each other by attending broker open houses, etc. It is definitely easier to get along with people when you're in an office with friendly people.

Reggie, your comments regarding immaturity crack me up, considering your Stewie avatar...

When I went into real estate in 1996, I immediately made friends with a guy from my class. We were both married/entangled, so romance or lack thereof wasn't an issue. However, since we both worked in the same market area, we set ground rules upfront... if we attended a social event held by the other, prospecting was OFF LIMITS! For example, he came to my wedding (which was in Mexico) and I told him that he was not allowed to bring his business cards or to talk real estate with any of my friends. Which he honored.

Otherwise, I don't strive for too many industry friendships. My business is nearly 100% SOI, so I devote all my socializing to people who actually will send me bizness!

Sound like you two need to agree to turn off the selling when you are out socialy together. Are you going to bars to make sales our enjoy a nice evening out?

Geesh, just close the 'deal' and he'll buy from you.

Sounds like Peyton Place (you youngins will be clueless about that comment)

Ummm, I think you forgot door number 3

You are cracking me up Earl. lol.

Is that really possible?