"Beautiful tree studded lot"

"Near major source of transportation"


Ever see the new homes will dirt lawns and new sapling trees? Well you have a beautiful tree studded lot.

The second one the home was located right next to an active railroad track.

I swear to God, I am not making this one up. A 2.3 Acre Parcel in Peoria Arizona (about 4 miles from the Cardinal's NFL Stadium)

List Price is $1. The Realtor remarks are "REALTORŪ Remarks: DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW COMM. OR PRICE ...LET'S TALK. "

The Buyer's Broker Commission is 3% so if any of you have a buyer and want to earn 3 cents give the guy a call MLS # 2890493

I like the MLS listings where the current agent uses the MLS picture from the last listing with the last listing agent's for sale sign in the picture. Or the $800,000 listing with no picture and no description. Lazy agents. Get a digital camera. Or a phone camera. Or something.

I love the ones that state something like, "too many things to list, gourmet kitchen, stone fireplace, sunroom, wonderful view." With one exterior photo.

Or one indicating that there's a barn...and no photo of it.

The ones with picture of the FSBO sign still in the front yard.

It's like a the other agent is saying to all the other agents "nanny nanny boo boo I got a fsbo"

Best one I ever saw had a picture of the basketball hoop in the driveway as the primary photo. I thought to myself, "if that's the best feature of the house the price is way too high".

Another one featured the owner's love of painting unicorn murals on the walls. The agent remarks actually said "Freshly painted". Unbelievable.

And another classic was a single-photo MLS listing with a picture of the couch in the living room. If the agent was smart she would have said, "equipped with husband sleeping quarters", or "possible in-law setup".

The listings that say there is a barn or a great outbuilding with no picture really irritate me because when I do have a buyer for these type of properties guess what they want to see. The barn!! For some buyers the barn or other building is of more interest then the house. I do like the husband sleeping quarters idea. I might use that sometime. If there isn't enough rooms or features to take up the pic space on the MLS just take a picture of the couch and say husband sleeping quarters. Maybe that would get the listing remembered.

"Wayne's Coating," "Brain New..." ??? I think any agent would practice basic due diligence and at least read their own listings to ensure accuracy (and lack of stupidity) before the public sees them. Better yet, print 'em out and have another person read them, that way if you can't spell or don't realize how retarded something sounds, maybe the other person will catch it and it can be corrected. And if their assistants can't spell better than that, hire a different assistant!

Two bedroom home on over a half acer with beutifull builtin pool.Professionaly landscaped park like setting.Remoldeled and updated plumbing and electricel.Handycap accesabile.

The agent told the owners he mispells on purpose, to catch peoples eye.

Forgot to mention- Agent had the listing since September and never bothered to change it.

I just came across this one. I hate to say it is not a lack of proofreading skills that bring us these gems, it is REAL LIVE STUPIDITY.

"Comments:seller pd. 3ooo buyers clsg cost in lure of home repairs."

Fresh off my MLS today:

"Beautiful custon-built home with construction and decorting upgrades. Granite countertops in Kitchen and bathrooms. Ceiling fans. decorator touchesthroughout. gas-fired fireplace. Muat see to believe this beautiful home. Redwood exterior. Huge covered patio with ceiling fan."

Btw? No pictures. Never any pictures from this agent.

Here's a new one.

The address of the property was "327 Bringyourbuyershere!" ......

You just can't make this stuff up.

Someday I'm going to list a fixer built in the 80's and I'm going to write in my mls remarks:
"STOP! Hammer time! "