We have an agent with a couple hundred listings and his are all identical too

"Bank Owned. Excellent Value. Priced Right."

Sometimes they are, sometimes it is funny.

"Must have confirmed appt. due to shift worker pets."

If their pets can work, why can't mine? Sorry kitty, you'll have to buy your own food from now on. And try to find a job with health insurance benefits.

Saw this one today on a comp:
"This is a must see property ina quite area"

I don't know who Ina Quite is, but someday I must see.

Not a stupid comment but a stupid virtual tour....with ONE photo of the property from the front. Duh!

Here's a pet peeve of mine: MUST SEE TO APPRECIATE!!!! In all caps. Now isn't that the case with any property on the MLS? Don't you really kinda need to see them ALL to appreciate them?

Here's one about a piece of land:

"It sits astute a 1+ acre parcel that stretches right to the pond's edge!!"


It sits ASTUTE?

Another one I saw mentioned an "enlightened chalet."

Huh? How can a house be ENLIGHTENED?

My favorite one though occurred when the listing agent obviously screwed up his cut and paste and mixed some of the private remarks with the public. It's since been fixed but this is sort of what it said:

DO NOT TOUCH HE BITES immaculate rancher home on two acres....

and in the private remarks it said "DO NOT TOUCH BIRD HE BITES."

LOL

I am kinda partial to my own remarks. I like to write and I like to write entertaining copy so as not to be too serious. I spell great, my keyboard messes up sometimes though.

I have a listing that is in a heavily forested area and very secluded. The owners have some plaster deer and elk figures in the yard. I have a photo of that and it says to come and enjoy the wildlife.:D

I have a couple of other listings that are vacant and I provide free snacks and water bottles. I say in private remarks, Thank you for showing this listing, please help yourself to a snack, water bottles are in the fridge. :) I think they all appreciate that and have had lots of showings - no offers though.

I do hate the remarks, though, of agents that can't spell. At first I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, but if they keep repeating the mistake, then I cringe. How can they write a valid earnest money agreement if they can't spell?

Here's one from SW Florida---

***Very well maintained bank owned property. This is a still. Priced to sell. Come see today**

I know them moonshiners, wer epretty creative, but a whole house made into a still?!!!

We had one of those busted here recently. They couldn't get anyone to testify against the guys running the still, but they ended up getting them on tax evasion...
One property here had been raided by the Humane society. A pet hoarder had, like 200 dogs and cats, and a variety of other animals. the place was TERRIBLY filthy. Anyway, she ended up having to sell it and I guess the listing agent couldn't think of anything nice to say, so he just stated "A pet lover's paradise." yeah, with all the animal feces included, right?

Not from the MLS but from one of those electronic flyers that flood our e-mail boxes:

"...Temp-Controled Wine Seller & Stereo Integrated Home System..."

M'kay, the Seller is temp-controlled by wine...good to know!

This is for an upscale, expensive home. I think they meant cellar and controlled but whatever...

Let me know if you want the street address, there's an open house this coming Sunday. You could check out the Seller and let us know about the cellar.

I saw an ad in a RE magazine a while back that stated the house had a beautiful "bridle" staircase. It actually was for a house in the country, but I'm still pretty sure they meant BRIDAL staircase.

You mean you don't think you put a bit between your teeth as you went up the stairs??????

ALL OFFERS SUBJECT TO LENDER APPROVAL-THIS HOME WILL GO QUICKLY AT $189,900-SAVE EVEN MORE!CALL ME TODAY!

Originally priced at 267,900, now at 175,900. If only they would price it back at 189,900 they could get it sold.

saw this in the mls public remark and on flyer.

" double pain window "

it must be really painful....

Omg..

On a house with no photos -

Double murder occurred in home recently and home remains uncleaned, possible biohazard.


eew.. why not wait to list it until the entrails and grey matter have been removed from the walls?