BROWNSTONE SEMI-DETACHED LEGAL 3 FAMILY ON WELL KEPT BLOCK, ALL ORIGINAL MOLDINGS & MOSAIC TILES, DUMB WAITER, SHAFT W/GLASS PANES. NEW HEATING & HWH, STAINED GLASS SKYLIGHT. FULL BASEMENT W/SEPARATE
ENTRANCE FROM STREET. OWNER MOTIVATED. ALL CALLS THROUGH LB.

.....what part of the house is a "dumb waiter"???

You've never heard of a dumb waiter? Very common in luxury homes and hotels in the old days.

Google it - basically it is a feature to transport food to other floors or rooms without contact with "the help."

Like a Clothes Chute with a Rope !

We have a dumb waiter in our office. Picture a mini elevator for documents and packages. It goes from our administrative office upstairs to accounting. Pretty nifty.

Can not stand the following remarks: "just move right in" ( I have yet to see a house that needs absolutely no work, except new construction.) "Cute" and "adorable". (These are not kittens nor babies; they are homes.)

I'd like to make me one of those riders for my REO's

"I am NOT getting out of the car... but dear it's CHEAP!"

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHOWING ~ PLEASE REMOVE SHOES, DO NOT LET CAT OUT ON WEEKENDS, LEAVE BUS. CARD, LOCK DOORS AND CALL W/ FEEDBACK ASAP ~ THIS IS NOT A FORECLOSURE OR SHORT SALE ~

apparently the cat only goes out during the week?

How about "rot iron" who knows, maybe they are telling the truth.

This is the precise reason we point out bad spelling skills and grammar on this forum....

Nice custom built home. This property includes part of a landing strip. The lockbox is on the side of the house on the focet.

The Passion is after reading the ad, the betrayal is after viewing the home, the forgiveness is what the listing agent will be asking for by wasting the time of buyers.

[quote=DueDiligence]"Passion, Betrayal,Forgiveness.....A love that never ends. Whitewater Rafting, Incredible long range views, Suspense,Excitement,Super Heroes,Villains.....A love lost, A love found....Thrills, Chills, Inspiration,Excitement, Peace....All these may be yours when you make this 2 bedroom/2 bath home your own. Hear the pines sing as you relax on your deck, warm yourself by the woodburning fireplace, park your car in the double garage and....take a short walk to the movie theater....You'll never feel alone again."

This is for a mobile on a postage stamp behind a strip mall. One will not hear pines singing over the roar of traffic. If one does, it will be a sad song. A sad pine song. A song of betrayal, of forests lost to pizza places and bagel shops... [/quote]

The agent who wrote this obviously studied those Seinfeld episodes where Elaine was writing ads for the J. Peterman catalog and Mr. Peterman was telling stories of traveling to exotic locations.

The MLS mis-spellings here are largely the fault of the staff at the board who inputs the listing data. Nice ladies but they drive me nutty!

They sound very demanding too!

I have no clue what this means:

"one of a kind sleeper pool home looks good feels good is good".

Accompanying photos are blurry cell phone interior shots of walls & floors.

Actual Listing for a 1 bed/1 bath (oceanfront) for $699,000:

"The famous Dome House on Summer Haven--only the hale and hearty would live in this as it is--but what a great little perch, while you plan and permit your dream beach house. Ocean in the front yard and river in the back yard--this is it. Access issues and a building moratorium just add to the adventure of owning a property like this. High and dry lot on Summer Haven dunes. Access only by escorted four wheel drive."

So . . . you wouldn't want to live in this house, but you can enjoy the "adventure" of building your dream beach house, except you can't build here due to permitting issues AND you can't even get to the lot on your own!!

I mean, I'd love a beach house, but not if I can't build there and I can't even get there!!!

That one just killed my husband. He thinks that takes the all time award for realtor positive spin on what sounds like a nightmare ownership situation.

I saw one the other day that said "selling because they're moving". Well, duh.