This past weekend, I was showing a couple from out of town properties in our area. We went to several and around lunch they decided to get something to eat. While they ate I went to check one of my listings, while there I discovered someone had broken in and had soap, shampoo, toilet paper, and a tooth brush in the bathroom and food in the fridge. I called the owner to let them know and they said they would handle it. While I was there I looked through the house and went into a closet that I had looked in while listing, but I didn't remember the full length mirror in there,it's a good thing my clients weren't there, it scared the crap out of me.
After I went back to get my clients, we headed to the next home it was 20 miles from nowhere, the house was listed as vacant, it was still under construction, looked as if owner had stopped building for quite sometime. It had a lockbox and we went in anyway. When we opened the door there was stuff in boxes, the living room was set up, there was bed in bedroom and an old refrigerator with food and a microwave. I called the listin agent who said hame was supposed to be vacant.
We went to several more listings, at our last stop, jokingly I told the clients to go in first. When we opened the door there was this spooky music playing, all the lights in the house were black lights, everything white of course was glowing, we continued anway. Jokingly, my clients said what else can happen this trip. We entered the bedroom and there was this clown suit hanging from the ceiling fan which was glowing in the dark spinning around on the fan, with clown shoes on the bed below the fan.
I wanted to hear some other realtors strange encounters.

where the hell do u sell houses lol.. only time i ever had a bad/funny moment was i knocked on the door ... no one answered so i had the key.. i opened the door and i saw the owner in his underwear... lol it was funny i just stepped out until he put some pants on ... my clients laughed after... but yours is very strange... all in 1 day

One word: Preview.

I was showing a house and we went into the master bedroom. We were in the master bathroom, with the bed and a chair between us and the door out into the hallway, when my client asked "I wonder what they keep in that cage?"

We walked over to the cage and realized it was opened - and empty. Suddenly we got nervous and started looking around. My client then took that minute to tell me she was deathly afraid of reptiled. As if on cue this giant green monster slowly walked across the doorway. It was an iguana. We were so scared to walk out of the bedroom and step over it that I had to call my husband (a police officer) and have him come by to rescue us.

My client did not end up buying that house.

I showed a house that had a beehive in the bedroom. On purpose. The guy had set up a hive with an access line to the window so the little guys could come and go as they pleased. Everything was sealed so no bees could get out in the house..

I later found out that bee stings are used for treatment of MS. I don't know if the owner had MS, but that would be a good explanation.

My husband is an organic grower and a beekeeper. He wants to do the same thing in my house. It's an observation hive to see if all the bees are healthy etc.
Bee stings are also used for arthritis.

How to put a positive spin on an unsightly heap:

l was showing this home-made house to a young couple. lt was an odd little house. ln the yard there was a pile of ashes where they obviously had had a bonfire. A burnt and sooty mattress spring sat on top of the ashes. My client says "What's that?"

"Oh-um--the barbeque grill" l said.

You guys have some crazy stories! I think the clown with the blacklights is pretty funny. Obviously someone was trying to scare people away from the home.

Give me some time. I think I can come up with one of my stories soon.

Okay this one you won't believe...
A friend of mine had a house he wanted to sell that had a tenant in it. It wasn't listed yet but I had an investor who wanted to see it before the tenant moved out and I got there first. The tenant (female) met me at the door and I introduced myself and told her the investor was on the way. "I understand" she said "we'll need to wait for a chaperone to show up before we go inside" Okay I am starting to get nervous. So my investor showed up (also female) and we go in. "First I have to introduce you to the children" Okay, she takes us into the living room and there is a fairly big python in a tank. "No that's okay we dont need to meet him" says my client. "No I insist they are so sweet" says the tenant. So she picks up the snake. Boom It clamps its fangs on her face (the tenant) The upper fangs have gone up her nose and the lower teetn are sunk in the roof of her mouth. She can't get it to let go and blood is pouring down her front.

Now for the good part: With the snake hanging on her face she is saying: "Oh don't mind him he is just hungry. My brother must of forgot to feed him this morning. He's really not like this all the time"

She also had four feet of dirt in the kitchen mounded against the wall where she said her daffodils were sleeping for the winter....and she wouldn't let us leave until she showed us her brother's "bedroom" which you got to by pulling down the attic stairs and going up into a two foot high attic with no floor, just the top of the ceiling joists and a mattress on a scrap of plywood....and the entire ceiling was papered with naked girls from playboy etc.....

Well the investor did not buy the house.

It was Friday the 13th too.

I had booked a few showings for an elderly couple who were moving in from out of town. When we got to the last house on tour the TV was on and there were childrens toys scattered everywhere. I called out a few times and nobody answered so I assumed they had stepped out for the showing. The doors to the master bedroom were closed...and for good reason! I opened the double doors doing my best Vana White imitation and low and behold, the owner (a very curvy woman) was buck naked on the bed sleeping! The elderly lady almost had a heart attack and her husband had the biggest smile on his face. The old guy said that I could take them out to look at houses anytime I wanted...I wonder why? Anyway, I did eventually sell them a house...just not that one.

Ok... I have told a few of the old stories on here. I don't want to repeat myself, so let me give you one I don't think I have shared here.

Back in the old days (late '80s early '90s), I sold houses in Los Altos and Los Altos Hills. Los Altos Hills has some of the most expensive real estate in the entire bay area. 2 million dollar plus homes were common - way back then.

So I am showing a couple 3 homes. Timing had us showing up at the last home at about 5:30PM. I get to the lockbox (Anyone remember the old combo type?), and find the faceplate and key attached to it are missing. I assume there must be someone else viewing the home (a little rare simply because buyers for $2+ million homes are rare). The front door is unlocked so we go in. I announce myself as soon as the door has opened as loudly as I can. But hey, its a 5k square foot home.

Anyway, we start in the living room, move to the kitchen - you know, the usual home tour. I happen to know the owners do not live in the house. It is all rented furniture and the home is just staged. Some cleaning service comes in every 2 weeks to make things shine.

The sun is setting as we head up to the master bedroom. I am describing the room as we approach. In room fireplace, two person tub, his and hers closets and I finish up with "... and your going to love THIS". I swing open the door to reveal the hot tub area alcove on the other side of the room with retractable glass walls and I do indeed reveal that, but also a naked woman bent over the edge of the hot tub, with a naked man, whom she apparently knows VERY well directly behind her and we are now all facing each other.

The door is one of those extra wide and heavy jobs and has swung all the way to the full open position - way out of reach and we all just sort of sit there for a minute. I then recognize the man as another real estate person and don't recognize the woman he is with as his wife.

I say, "Hi Bill, maybe we should give you a minute". So I turn my clients around and take them down the hall to the next room.

Ok... so that is all funny and all. But then I find out later that this same agent has had THE EXACT SAME THING happen to him 3 times in the past!

Such a moron.

R

I think the exhibitionists are just pretending to be caught. Consider how much time we spend sleeping, eating, watching tv, picking our noses, etc compared to how much time we spend screwing. How convenient the Realtors would arrive just at that tender moment.

Isn't half the fun of being an exhibitionist watching the reaction of the voyeurs? That's what I hear it's about. So don't give them the reaction they want - give them some helpful hints, some constructive criticism, offer to hold her ankles or something. That'll get em. haha

I have one, there isn't really a funny twist to the story but it was certainly bizarre.

I'd been working with a client for several weeks and could only show him houses on weekends. This client wanted to see every house under the sun so we had to start out early. I made sure to schedule a showing about 10 am Saturday morning and got the ok from the seller's agent several days in advance.

Keep in mind I'd only been licensed for a short while so I learned a valuable lesson that day which was to knock and announce myself before going into a home. I was gullable to think all Realtors told their sellers to vacate the premesis during showings.

So I open the door and see a woman with a very confused look on her face in pajama's and curlers coming up the stairs (bi-level) with a small child. I apologized and told them I would come back another time. What was so strange was she told me I wasn't supposed to be there until 10:00 and it was 10:30, I knew something was up but I didn't want to insult her intellignce. She was making it seem as though I hadn't scheduled a showing and waltzed right into her home but she knew I was supposed to be there???? After the initial confrontation, the woman gives us the green light to see the house since we're already there.

So my client and I go out to the deck and I told him we should leave but he insisted we view the rest of the home. We came back in and looked around the bottom level and on our way back up I heard a tv on. I proceed up the stairs and peak around into a bedroom only to see the biggest, angriest musclebound ex-convict looking guy putting his shorts on. He proceeds to curse me out like I've never been cursed out before, inching his way towards me. As his pointer finger, which was almost in my face, gets closer and closer with every curse word I begin to think this guy is going to floor me.

As much as I tried to rationalize with this guy he wouldn't hear me out. He insisted that I made no appointment and acted is if I broke into his home. This guy was pretty intimidating and it was what I felt like the equivalent of staring down the barrel of a gun. I honeslty thought he was going to kill me. I'm a grown man and I work out often and have never seen anyone his size at the gym. What's worse is this is all happening in front of my client and he's in danger as well.

After several failed attempts at trying to make it clear that I really did schedule a showing, my client motions his head as if to say, "We should go". No kidding!!! I was waiting for him to move out of the friggin way a long time before.

The only thing that allowed me to save face was the other Realtor and client that were walking up to the door as my client and I were walking out. The seller's agent scheduled several showings and didn't bother to tell the occupant who was beyond furios. I told them they didn't want to go in there and what happened and the other Realtor acted like I was trying to steer them away as if I had a very interested client. I don't know if they made it out alive.

Turns out the occupants were renters and knew if the house sold that they'd be out on the street and homeless. So apparently there were at least a dozen other instances where this guy tried to run off prospective buyers. Being a man, I used to take the dangers of this job lightly. That was a wake up call that this job can be very dangerous.